I left Sechaba's apartment feeling all sort of emotions I was upset confused and hurt.
Maybe a little disappointed that the woman I fell for was not who I thought was.
I drove straight to the office I was supposed to help Asanda or Khanyisa settle in my room but now I'm avoiding going home I don't know how will act in front of her.
I settled on my chair my head was spinning and pounding.
I took a glass of whiskey and galped down.
Dolly came in carrying some files in her hand she looked at me as if she wanted to say something but didn't.
Dolly:"These are for you" I looked at her.
She is exactly what I need right now I stood up and grabbed her towards me.
Dolly:"Tom what are yo--" she didn't even finish before I smashed my lips into hers.
She kissed me back as if she has been waiting for this moment to happen.
I put her on top of the table and ripped her mini skirt then her underwear.
I inserted my finger on her folds and started rubbing her wet clit
Dolly:"Yeess...Tom" she said moaning I pulled my drawer and took out a condom then put it on.
I roughly inserted myself on her and started moving in and out of her.
This was about a release nothing serious so it had to be quick and within a few minutes I released.
Me:"Go found something to wear in a changing room"
Dolly:"Am I now gonna be your booty call?" I looked at her
Me:"If you want to I don't care now please leave" she sigh and walked out.
I took another glass of whiskey and galped it down.
It was now dark outside I decided to go home good thing is everyone was asleep.
I got inside the house I was conflicted to either go to my room or guest room.
I finally settled with the guest room I took a shower.
Even though my emotions and thoughts were all over the place I know what I just did with Dolly was the worse thing a man couldn't have done and regret and guilt were slowly creeping in.
I got out the covers and took my phone it had two missed calls from Khanyisa.
I sigh and went straight to my gallery I looked at the pictures of her I took while she was asleep the morning after I took her virginity away.
She looked so beautiful and peaceful I felt a sharp pain hit my heart strongly.
I decided to hit my slumber maybe I will wake up feeling better.
A day of avoiding Khanyisa turned into two weeks of avoiding her.
You would swear we were no longer living in the say house and she stopped even trying to call me nor leave a message for me.
I hate what I'm doing to her and she probably thinks I'm the worse person in the world.
I haven't even talk to Sechaba or Asanda since the day I discovered the truth.
I decided to not to sleep with Dolly ever again not because it makes me a better person but it will make things worse for me more than they are.
I decided to grow a pair and go home talk to Khanyisa I don't know what I'm going to say to her but I have to face her she deserves better than what I have been doing for the past two weeks.
I bumped into Indy on the hallway she looked at and smiled
Indy:"How is everything back at home?" She had this smirk on her face probably because Khanyisa told her how things have been between us lately.
Me:"They are good"
Indy:"Let me get to work have a great day if you will have one today" she walked and I walked to my car then drove home.
It was already 6pm it was starting to get to dark outside and it was raining when I got home but the lights were still on.
There was no one in the sitting room nor living room the TV was on.
I took a few deep breaths before going to my room where Khanyisa have been sleeping.
I knocked a few times no one answered.
Me:"Asanda I'm coming in" I said pushing the door it was unlocked I walked in but there was no one.
Me:"Asanda!!" I will call her that because she still knows herself as Asanda but no one answered.
I went inside the bathroom she wasn't in there.
I sigh thinking she is probably somewhere around the house.
Her laptop was on top of the bed.
I saw my mom as I was going down the stairs.
Me:"Mom!" She looked at me
Mom:"Hey" she said smiling
Me:"Have you seen Asanda she is not in the room" she nods
Mom:"Yeah I did see her"
Me:"Where is she?" She looked at me and smiled.
Mom:" I don't know son"
Me:"You just said you saw her" she chuckled
Mom:"Oh these came for you" she said that and walked away leaving me confused.
I looked at the table there was a white paper and a cellphone.
My heart start beating fast as soon as I realised that it was her phone.
I took the paper and sat on the chair then slowly opened it it was a letter.
"Tom I don't even know where to begin. I will start by thanking you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for your generosity you took care of me when I had no one. You made me feel appreciated and loved even though I didn't remember my identity you made me sure that I felt like I belong. The past two weeks have been hard as you made me question all of those things I'm so sorry that I became too much of a burden or made you uncomfortable in your own home. Please forgive me for everything"
As I finish the letter my heart hurts I didn't realise how much I was hurting her.
I looked at my mom who was just busy with her own thing in the kitchen.
Me:"Mom please tell me where she is" she looked at me
Mom:"As I said Thomas I don't know where she is"
Me:"She left the cards I gave it to her her phone. She knows no one here"
Mom:"I insisted on giving her money before she left since I couldn't convince her to stay. Maybe her phone will give you answers"
Thank God it had no lock on the first thing that popped into the screen was a video.
I walked away from my mother I was hoping that she made a video message.
I pressed played as soon as I realised what it was my mouth went dry.
It was a video of me and Dolly having sex two weeks back and you could see that the person who took it was peeping through the door and I knew exactly who it was.
I stopped the video before I could even finish it.
All I need to do now is found her and make sure she is safe.
The first place I went to was Indy's house I knocked a few times before someone answered.
She nods and called Indy.
Indy:"Oh it's you"
Me:"Where is she?"
Indy:"Who?" I sighed
Me:"Asanda I need to know where she is"
Indy:"She is not here even if she was I'm sure she wouldn't want to see you"
Me:"Okay you do realise that we are the only people she knows here and she maybe somewhere out there in this rain" I see her face changes to worry.
Indy:"I don't know where she is"
Me:"Okay why did you take that video Indy." She blinks
Indy:"I told you I was gonna make her realised the type of a person you are and I did. Now she knows that you like having your bread butter in both sides" I just nod I have no time to argue with her.
Me:"Have a good night"
I walked back to my car and sat there for few minutes gathering my thoughts.
I drove off I could feel the back of eyes sting it might be selfish of me to be hurting at this moment but it does hurt it hurts that I was selfish I didn't consider her feelings I made feel safe then all of a sudden I made her feel unwanted and a burden.
I might have been attracted to her because of her looks but I fell for her because of her personality the person she was.
It took her going missing to realise that I'm in love with Khanyisa not Asanda Asanda might have been the attraction but Khanyisa captured the heart.
I didn't know where I was driving when I noticed her walking along side of the road.
I quickly pulled over and jumped out of the car.
She was soaking wet.
Me:"Kh---..Asanda!!!" She turned and looked at me
I walked close to her she was trembling.
Me:"You are cold please get in the car"
Khanyisa:"I'd rather continue walking please get out of my way"
Me:"Babe I'm sorry I wish I could explain everything now but not in this cold please get in the car. I promise I won't drive anywhere if you don't want to go"
Khanyisa:"I don't want to get your car wet"
Me:"I don't care about that" she sigh and got inside the car.
I turned on the heat she wasn't saying anything.
Me:"Wait here" I went in the trunk of the car took out my gym trackpants and a shirt.
I got back inside the car.
Me:"Please put these on" she took them she started undressing her top including the bra and put on my shirt.
She took off her jeans and looked at me.
Khanyisa:"Do you mind if I take off my underwear too"
Me:"No" she nods and took it off then wore trackpants.
Me:"Put those on the floor at the back" she did.
We sat in complete silence I wasn't sure what she wanted to do at this moment.
Khanyisa:"Was it all a lie?" I looked at her
Khanyisa:"You saving me thing? You playing a good Samaritan?" I couldn't miss the pain in her voice
Me:"Nothing was a lie"
Khanyisa:"Then what was it? Why did you lie to me?"
Me:"I didn't lie to you please believe me when I say everything I said to you was never a lie I meant everything"
Khanyisa:"I should have known better all along you had a fiance I feel so stupid"
Me:"No no you probably got the wrong script here yes I fucked up and I'm not expecting you to trust me again nor forgive me now but I'm willing to gain your trust and forgiveness again and I will work for it. Yes Dolly is my ex girlfriend and what happened between me and her that wasn't supposed to happen. I wish I came home and explain everything to you but I didn't. I chose something different. I love you and I mean it" she wiped her tears and I pulled her into my arms.
Khanyisa:"I feel so stupid for loving a man I met few months ago"
Me:"No I'm the stupid one here for not realising what I have" she pulled away from me
Khanyisa:"I have to go now Tom"
Me:"Where are you going?"
Khanyisa:"Your mother gave me enough money to book myself into a hotel room today"
Me:"I'm coming with you then I will book a separate room"
Khanyisa:"I'm not going to argue with you"
Me:"I just want to explain everything to you tomorrow there is no excuse for how I acted but there is something I want you to know"
Khanyisa:"I can't handle anymore lies now"
Me:"No it's the truth" she sigh
I'm glad I found her safe and unharmed she is hurt you could just see it in her eyes now I wish I chose something different not avoiding her and sleeping with Dolly that's even worse and unforgivable.
We ended up getting one sharing room with two beds.
She took a bath and got in bed after a few minutes she was sound asleep.
I sigh and looked at her there is a difference between her and Asanda the dot in between their eyebrows hers is at the centre whereas Asanda's is a bit close to her left eyebrows.
Well I'm only noticing that now I know there is two of them.
I texted Sechaba to come and meet us here tomorrow morning.
I don't know how she will react in meeting Asanda I hope it triggers her memory.
Even though I'm scared that her remembering who is she might end our relationship but she deserves to know the truth about herself.
I need to sleep and prepare myself for tomorrow.