It has been a month already but I don't remember anything nothing seems to trigger my memory around my surroundings I feel so lost.
The other day I asked Tom to take me to my apartment just to see if I could maybe remember something but it just felt like a new world to me.
I remember running out crying this is hard and frustrating for me I don't even know what to do anymore.
And for Tom this must be frustrating too he is taking care of me but there's still no progress.
I don't know if I should just forget my past life and start a new.
A knock disturbed me from my thoughts I tell the person to come in.
Tom:"Hey you are awake?" He said standing by the door I just nod "I was just checking if you're okay and I will tell Mam'Marvis to bring your food"
Me:"No I will go down" he looked at me surprised because I haven't been leaving this room.
Tom:"Are you sure? You---"
Me:"I'm sure Senzo I realised that me locking myself up in these four walls is doing me no justice especially for my mental health maybe if I just go out something will be different I might as well start over a new life until I remember my old life" he came closer and sat next to me then hold my hand
Tom:"I can't say I know what you are going through but I would like for you to let us in and let us help you not shut us out like this Indy is going through a lot you were like a sister to her but now you want nothing to do with her it's breaking her" I feel tears sting at the back of my eye
Me:"I just needed some space" he shook his head
Tom:"That's not what you said to her Asanda you told her to stay away from you" my tears just fall he pulls me to him I sob in his chest.
Tom:"it's okay you can still make things right with her" I nod and wiped my tears his shirt was now messed up
Me:"I'm sorry" he chuckled
Tom:"Don't worry I will just change" I nod
Me:"I would like to take Indy to lunch but I will need a favour from you"
Me:"Take her to the restaurant for me but don't tell her she is meeting me there"
Tom:"And whose going to take you there?"
Me:"I thought you had drivers Senzo" he scoffed
Tom:"Fine can we try to avoid the name?" I shook my head
Me:"No it's a beautiful name and I love it" he sigh
Tom:"Let me go then" I nod he stood up but our hands were still on hold.
Me:"Thank you for doing this for me" he came closer
Tom:"It's not a problem at all" his eyes were staring at mine his lips landed on my forehead.
My body froze and got chills I quickly pulled away.
Tom:"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that" he said horrified.
Me:"It's okay" his hand was about to let go of mine but I hold onto it tight and pulled him he fell on top of me
Tom:"Asa--" my lips went straight to his and he was hesitant at first but kissed me back.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and he pressed himself on me.
His touch felt right on my skin his hand fitted like a glove on my breast.
I could feel him poking on me he was turned on like I was.
His hand went inside my pyjamas bottom I wasn't wearing any underwear beneath.
I gladly opened my legs a little wider for his fingers to have an easy to my coochie.
His swirled his middle finger around my folds and found my clit I moaned as he rubs it softly.
Me:"Senzo" I said losing my breath.
A knock came through we quickly jumped we looked at each other.
Me:"I'm coming" I said fixing myself I quickly went to the door "Hey Ma" I said to her she had breakfast on her hands.
Ma:"Here's your breakfast" I nod I was running out of breath cause I could feel my juices slowly dripping out of my vagina any minute they will drip down my leg and she will see them "Ukahle(Are you okay)" I nod
Me:" I will come down for my breakfast in a few minutes can I have the juice for now?" She nods and I grabbed the juice she walked away.
I quickly close the door and gulped the orange juice on my hand.
Tom came out of the bathroom I don't even know when he went there.
Me:"I will have to go downstairs for my breakfast in few minutes" he sigh
Tom:"I will just have to go to work then" he said walking close to me I stepped backwards until my back hits the door.
He was so close to me I could barely breathe.
Tom:"I have to open the door you know" I mentally slapped myself he smirked.
He kissed my forehead before heading out I sigh because I don't know what came over me I don't know why I came into him like that.
My mind was screaming for me to stop but my body was doing the opposite.
I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up I didn't want to think much of what just happened between us he is a good looking man and he has a heart so that means he has a girlfriend somewhere he was just caught up in a moment like any seduced man would be.
I decided to go downstairs and have my breakfast I need to make things right with Indy.
I can't push away the people who cares for me.
She has been by my side which means she is the real one I need to get to know her and be there for her like she has been for me.
I took my shower and dressed up in a white floral short summer dress and saddles.
I fixed my afro and took my bag then head straight to the restaurant I was nervous I hope she is not so mad at me but I can't blame her if she is.
I walked in and settled down in a table a few minutes I see them walking in.
Indy's eyes land on me she looked at Senzo for answers.
He just led her to the table and they sat down.
Me:"Hey Indy" she looked at me
Indy:"Hi" that was cold but understandable
Tom:"Ladies I will leave you now my job is done here"
Me:"Thanks Tom" he frowned and said his goodbye then left
Me:"Can we order first?" She nods we order our food I have never been so nervous in my life ever
Me:"Okay Indiphile I know I have hurt you a lot I honestly didn't mean to break your heart like that not that I'm using this as an excuse but I was confused and our friendship was one sided I didn't feel any instant connection to you and instead of telling you that I decided to tell you to stay away. I should have been honest with you but I wasn't because I was scared to hurt it seems like I did hurt either way. I'm so sorry" she quietly looked at I could tell she was hurting
Indy:"Uh okay I think it's best we don't become friends anymore we are too old to be forcing connections don't you think?" She said wiping her tears this is breaking my heart to the deepest pits
Me:"I want us to be friends we can have a connection like we used to" she sigh
Indy:"Do you actually want to be friends with me? Or you just want to have that one person who actually cares about you?"
Me:"I want both Indiphile I have realised that I can't live in the past that I don't even remember it's about time I start a new life with a person that actually cares about me and knows me best I want us to build that friendship we have again"
Indy:"You can start by paying for my lunch" I quickly attacked her with a hug she laughed and hugged me back.
Me:"Thank you so much I promise to be a better friend than I was before" we let go
Indy:"I would like that thank you for trying you know you mean a lot to me Asanda. Nobody understood me until I met you so I will gladly take these baby steps with you" I'm so relieved and happy right now
Me:"Time to eat so we could catch up more" I see a guy approaching our table
Indy:"Oh boy!" She said looking at me
"You finally surfaced again baby girl" I crinched while Indy here was holding her laughter I don't know why is this funny to her
Me:"I'm sorry?" I looked at Indy for help
Indy:"You didn't hear what happened Thabo?"
Indy:"Asanda's father arranged marriage for her and she leaving to live in the farmer with her cowboy husband" wow
Thabo:"That sucks maybe we could have a good time before you leave like old times" I frowned
Me:"I would but I'm leaving in thirty minutes" he shrugged his shoulders and walked away leaving Indy dying with laughter
Me:"Who is that?"
Indy:"The guy you were having sex with"
Me:"Really? That's not right"
Indy:"I told you that so many times but you never listened apparently his sex is bomb"
Me:"Wow he looks like he is about to shoot an old school hip hop music video" she laughed
Indy:"I know let's get out of here before he comes back"
Me:"Good idea damn I sure know how to pick them" we walked out while laughing
I have been here for a month now so much has changed and I know it's so selfish for me to warm up to this family knowing very well that they are not mine.
Trust me I have been waiting for Khanyisa to walk in on that door since day but she never did I have been trying to figure out why she ran away from her family.
There are days I want to tell them the truth about my identity but they didn't believe the first time how will they believe me now.
I decided to stay here I don't know until when.
Today I decided to go and see Indiphile I wanted to find her alone I saw her with Tom then he left the restaurant I waited for her to come out but then she came out with my clone Khanyisa laughing.
I don't understand whats going here why is she pretending to be me why would would she leave her rich identity to steal my poor identity?.
I walked straight to them I am ready to confront her she needs to go home and get me out of this mess but someone had to bump on me.
Me:"Really?!" I said annoyed
"Khanyisa what are you doing here?" It was Sechaba
Me:"Uh nothing" I said still looking at Khanyisa and Indiphile
Sechaba:"Are you okay?" I quickly looked at him
Me:"Yeah" he looked at me he was about to turn and look at the reason I'm so distracted.
Me:"Fuck no!" I said grabbing his face and kissed him it caught him by surprise but he kisses me back I did this because I can't have him see Khanyisa I feel like he has something to do with her running away.
I pulled away from the kiss and looked at him
Sechaba:"What was that?" I chuckled
Me:"I just missed you" he looked at me "Let's take this somewhere private" I said running my hands on his chest I need to keep him distracted until I no longer see those two.
Sechaba:"I would love that" he took my hand into his and we walked to his car I sigh in relief.
His hand was running around my thigh while another was on the wheel.
I slightly open my legs for him a little bit he looked at me in awe I smirked
Sechaba:"I like this new side of you I'm seeing" I chuckled he moved his hand to my inner thigh and pushed my thong aside then start rubbing my clit.
I tilted my head backwards and taking in the pleasure I'm feeling right now.
Sechaba:"I love this"
Me:"I can show you more and trust me there is more to me than meets the eye" he started rubbing my clit harder I grabbed on his thigh
Sechaba:"We are here" we both quickly go out.
He hold my hand as we walk to what I assume it's his apartment.
He opened the door then we go in it was a nice place.
He pinned me I guess the door and devour on my lips.
In few minutes our clothes were flying around the floor he picked me up and walked with me to the bedroom and tossed me on top of the bed.
He was well built your dark type of a melanin king.
He got in between my legs and start licking me from in between my legs to my lips he is nasty and rough just like how I like them. Interesting.
He bite my neck I was trembling from being all turned on
He was about to go down on me but I can't go on anymore.
Me:"I want you inside me" I whispered running out of breath.
He didn't need me to repeat he grabbed a condom and put it on.
He rubbed himself against my clit until I was gripping this was torture.
He finally inserted himself in he pushed himself more.
Sechaba:"You are tight look at me" I shook my head he pushed himself roughly I screamed and opened my eyes.
Sechaba:"Now keep your eyes on me pumpkin" he said gentle pushing himself inside and out of me it was intense I grabbed onto his back while begging him not to stop.
Sechaba:"Fuck you good" he said as soon as I start meeting his strokes halfway.
My body tensed up and all my nerves congested on my clit.
Sechaba:"Wait for me" he said pumping on me harder
Me:"I can't" I screamed letting it all go he kept going followed a few minutes later.
He took out his condom and went to the bathroom then came back a few minutes later.
Sechaba:"Let's get you cleaned up" he picked me up bridal style and placed me in the tub with warm water then got behind me.
He washed my back
Sechaba:"Are we going to talk about what just happened? Where it leaves us?" I sigh I was hoping he doesn't say anything now.
Me:"No I just want to enjoy this moment" he pulled me to his chest
Sechaba:"Okay how is it going with find your sister or the person you saw that is identical to you?"
Me:"What?!" I said moving from his chest
Sechaba:"a week from our wedding you came back from the mall convinced that you saw someone looking exactly like you"
Me:"uh I gotta go" I said getting out of the bath tub
Sechaba:"No don't go please can we atleast talk?"
Me:"I promise I will call you Sechaba" I said already dressing up.