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"...Love of my life. Mother of my child. My first love. One of the smartest people I know. The best mother and most amazing friend. A realist a lover and a daredevil. I will raise our love Uthando to know you as her mother. Lala ngoxolo MaNzama siyohlezi sikuthanda." Thandolwethu had to read out Thabiso's speech and it keeps ringing in my ears.

  Nothing is more sad than this.

Uthando keeps asking why her mother isn't here. She doesn't understand that her mother is in the coffin. Thabiso is in a terrible state but he's acting strong for his daughter. Uthando is on Thabiso's lap and as the coffin goes down I see him hugging her tightly and crying.

This moment is the worst. I can't stop crying either and it's because of Bongi and also that on this day last year I was burying my mother. My brother showed up with Sphe.

I'm guessing Fanele stayed to help Thandi with Azisa. Sphe and Akin weren't stuck together like they normally would be. I think there's trouble in paradise again but I won't say anything not today at least.

Thabiso wanted a fast funeral and he got one. It's one o'clock and everything is done. People are leaving now.

The funeral was at Bongi's home and her mother was devastated the whole time. I never even saw her eat or talk. She just cried the whole time.

 Part of her probably blames herself.

Bongi had a sixteen year old sister Thandeka. She looks a bit like her. After seeing a picture of their father I concluded Bongi took after her mother while her sister took after her father. It explains the vague similarities.

Hakeem and I came straight here because while packing for the hospital we got the message Bongi was no more. We housed


 some of the family in our house including MaCele who is so scary! I'm glad they're going back to Magobeni today and I can go to Stanger with my daughter.

There is no peace in this house. Mrs Nzama Bongi's mother is not saying anything and these people are fighting further. The Nzama's are attacking her for not doing a good job with her children. They seem to be blaming her for them not knowing the children much and chasing Bongi away forget that they're only finding fault now that Bongi is gone.

 I see Thabiso enter the house and it goes quiet they seem to respect him and his family. He gets out with his daughter and leaves. The noise continues after he's gone.

An old man comes out and shouts "I will not stay here to watch my sister be crucified."

"She should've been a better wife!" A voice follows him outside. We're just sitting in the tent looking at each other. Unfortunately nobody can interfere because it's not our families. It just hurts to see this because I know Bongi wouldn't like this.

My heart aches for Thabiso who now has to raise his daughter alone. I don't doubt that he will be an amazing father though. Uthando is lucky to still have him.

Mayhem! Women come out of the house screaming.

"We need an ambulance!" One of them shouts.

Hakeem and Dr Dladla get up and go into the house. I think of following behind but I stay with Zendaya in the tent rather. Twenty minutes later an ambulance comes by and Mrs Nzama is put on a stretcher. Hakeem says something to the paramedics and they're

 off.

Can I just say he looked sexy? I know it's the wrong time but wow! He comes to me and says she suffered a heart attack and he will follow after Zendaya and I go to Stanger. I see Dr Dladla also come towards us.

Dr Dladla is 24 and under Hakeem's "wing" at the hospital. He mentors him. He came to the funeral because apparently he knows Thabiso and Bongi from high school.


 I move my and Zendaya's bags to my brother's car and we say goodbye to the family. Hakeem doesn't seem to be grumpy about his daughter or me going away. I'm guessing because we'll see him soon when it's our wedding. I see Akin and Sphe talking and it seems they've fixed whatever issue they were having.

My home is warm again thanks to Thandi and my brother. It feels like mother is still here.

We miss her so much but I feel like she's smiling wherever she is.

 Azisa is growing so fast! I just adore him. Nothing he does is wrong in my eyes. Even when Thandi complains he cries for no reason I speak up for him. It's funny to Sphe and Fanele because that's what they did with me when I complained about Zendaya. This New Year's is much better than last year. It's so homely and nice. I'm a bit worried about practicing with the girls this week. I don't know a thing about ukusina. I can try though I will try though. For my husband the love of my life.

Zendaya and Azisa cry throughout the noise the festivities and Thandi and I are forced to be in doors and not enjoy the fireworks. These two are such party poopers.

Cousin Sandra said she's up to date and doesn't need to practice. My sisters and I are struggling through it. Zama surprisingly knows how to do this. It's just hard because I've never had to do this ever. The girls are teaching us songs and it's fun at times. Hakeem disturbs me with a call for the third time. I guess I should take it.

...

 Hakeem: I've been calling you.

Me: Apologies my love I was practising.

Hakeem: Alright. I'm sending security there.

Me: What? Why?

Hakeem: You're royal now. My daughter and sister are there too. Me: But we're fine. Zama and Zendaya are fine. I'm fine. Why the security?


 Hakeem: Please just stop being stubborn and let me do this because I'm going to do it anyway.

Me: Fine but you owe me an explanation.

Hakeem: After the wedding.

...

I go back to the girls but I'm a bit distracted.

My aunts keep telling me about being a good wife and keeping Hakeem happy and a whole lot more I don't even remember it was too much stuff even sexual things.

 Today is the day and we're on the way to Magobeni at one o'clock. The girls helping me are in two taxis other smaller cars have young men from my family. Another car has Thandi

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Azisa and Zendaya. My sisters Zama and I are in a car. They're my bridal party Zama I added in Bongi's place. I wish Lwazi could be here. She'll probably arrive later just to see me and drop off gifts. Sandra had a "private emergency" and couldn't make it.

I've been trying to know how Thabiso and Uthando are holding up but he just isn't answering his phone Even Zama says no one knows how he's holding up. He shut everyone out even his mother and father.

Security for the family has been tight ever since Bongi died apparently. All Thabiso does is spend time with his daughter because he is seen taking her out and all that. He refused a helper or nanny to help with the child. No one knows if he'll even go back to university for his last semester then he can graduate. All this I hear from Zama. Sphe also vouches for this because Akin has been worried about him and he talks to her about it. I

 worry about the relationship between Akin and Sphe. They might hurt each other and unfortunately they'll be bound because of me and Khulekani. Yes apparently I should get used to calling him Khulekani now. Ngxabi doesn't like their hippy names apparently. This journey is long but there is so much to

talk about we hardly noticed. Magobeni is as beautiful as ever and the morning sun just makes it look even better. The huge


 house on a hill is infront of us now and we stop and sit at the gate outside where it's cold.

The young men we came with go in with sticks and I don't understand why but apparently they should hit whoever or whatever is outside the house. I doubt they would hit Ngxabi or Bab' Ngubo or even Hakeem I mean Khulekani for that matter. Some other weird things are done until eventually we can go do the traditional dancing we have been practising. I don't know why but I have to hold an umbrella in my hand and make sure it

 breaks.

How am I going to do that? I don't even know. Wait at the corner of my eye I see her. Why in the world is she here? How did she get in? Didn't she hear me the first time? I will not tolerate such disrespect. I swear I will stop this wedding and wait until she gets thrown out. I can't have another Okuhle. Never! Somebody take Nomvula home or I will stop this whole thing and go home. What did they promise her now?

Khulekani sees her. He is talking to Msweli who is next to him. Msweli gets up and I don't know what he did or said but I can see her being walked out by security. She's not resisting. Good. All this would have stopped.

Hakeem looks at me and smiles. He looks so Zulu! I have been stealing looks at him today and not to be a perv but he has never looked more sexy. He is so well built and tall! I still look tiny next to him. I can't wait till he scoops me in his arms. I heard some of the girls I came with talking about him and saying he is "a bae".

I would normally be jealous but I am used to it now. Girls just find

 my husband sexy.

Oh but his voice! It surpasses everything. He gets up and starts saying some deep Zulu things including his clan names while waving that shield and stick he has with him.

I guess this is where I have to go in and dance around him with a whistle in my mouth... I really can't do this. It looks dangerous. Let me try though. People are clapping and stuff. I guess I'm doing it right. There's applause and laughter I guess It's not that great.


 It's exhausting though.

Everything is done now but the place still has people all over. Mostly the many guards. Hakeem pulls me aside as I get into our room.

"I missed you." He says kissing me.

"I missed you too." I say in his mouth.

We kiss and he stops and looks at me. He places one kiss and says

"I want today to be special. So later alligator."

 "No wait baby the security." I say looking straight at him. "I forgot about that... Uhm please sit." He says.

I listen and sit on the bed.

"My mother's car. The one Bongi drove that day... It was tampered with." He says.

I widen my eyes and tears fall without my consent.

"Yes so the case is unsolved and that's why we have security. Someone is trying to kill mother." Khulekani.

"Baby so Bongi didn't do anything wrong?" I ask crying.

"Yes. She did nothing wrong." Khulekani.

"What did the family say?" I ask.

"No one but my mother father and I knows. Msweli too of course he's helping the police." Khulekani.

I look at him.

"There's a lot to do. I'm coming back just now baby. I love you truly." He says and places a kiss on my lips.

I have to go help out too and keep the house clean. Not my favourite thing but I'm a wife now.

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