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It's Christmas and I'm at Magobeni we arrived yesterday. Clearly Hakeem won the fight but he cheated because he bought me

  pizza cause he knew I was hungry cooped up in Zendaya's room then topped it with wine and sex. I couldn't resist but at least I got New Year's at home with Zendaya so we'll leave him with his family and go to Stanger.

The house is packed! All the family is here and there's no cooking being done by any of the family which is unusual for me. All we have to do is get ready and wait for caterers to deliver the food.


 The family is apparently too big and it would take too long to cook or braai ourselves. Bongeka Thabiso and Uthando are here too and I'm glad to see them.

Bongeka and I are like best friends in this house and we're working together on some minor house chores she's delightful. The breakfast was brought to our rooms so we're washing the dishes together now and there's so many! The helpers are off so we're helping out of course as "omakoti" alongside MaRadebe Khulani's mother.

 "If we hadn't washed these MaNdosi would've used emotional blackmail on us." Bongi says and laughs.

"What? How?" I ask laughing too.

"She would've knocked on our doors and said a lengthy speech about her being old and the helpers being off but having to wash dishes." She says.

"She actually does that?" I ask still laughing.

"I was so embarrassed the first time!" She laughs.

"I would've been too." I say tearing up with laughter.

"She's never liked me. It would've been worse." Khulani's mother says.

"And what about me? I'm a walking corpse." I ask laughing. They don't laugh. I look at them

"lighten up will you?" I say.

They break out in laughter.

When I get back to my room my daughter is ready and looking adorable in white she's so beautiful and big now! I love it! You can't tell she was premature anymore.

 "Thanks baby I'll get ready now." I say and kiss Hakeem. "No problem baby just finish up and we'll go have lunch." He looks so edible.

"I'll try be fast baby. There was so many dishes! Bongi MaRadebe and I must be the only ones not ready." I say.

"I doubt it babes." He kisses my forehead.


 I take a shower and then do my face and just when I look in the mirror I see her my mother in my mind's eye. I've been trying to avoid it but it's been a year now since I became motherless.

I can't fight the tears back and I start crying. She was my everything! Always knew best and was an amazing cook! I miss her judging my food and every other thing she thought she knew better on.

Actually she did know better.

She taught me to be this woman I am to Khulekani. She taught

 me to be a Proverbs thirty one woman. She made me and I can't do anything but thank God for giving me her as a mother.

Out of nowhere Hakeem is behind me and brushing my back. I stand up and hug him then the tears just flow.

"I miss her baby. I miss my mother." I'm sobbing.

"I knew this would happen today. It's normal baby. You lost her on this day." He's comforting me.

He keeps saying it's okay and hugging me. I needed his comfort. Now I'm better so I fix my face and get dressed in a blue maxi dress that's not tight but still shows my curves and of course a doek is standard practice.

I don't get the nasty stares anymore but I still get stared at. I feel like after the shock the fascination with how I look was introduced. Now it's like they're seeing something out of this world. The aunts still don't like me though they don't even talk to me much they love the baby though she is hardly with me whenever we're here. The setting is so nice there are tables and chairs the fancy stuff decorated with royal blue and purple. It's all under a stretch tent.

 You'd swear there was a wedding when it's just the family. There is a grand piano a microphone and set of drums. I wonder if we have surprise artists coming here today.

Our table sits me Hakeem his father his mother

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his mother his step mother and Akin. The young children aren't here. I wonder who's taking care of them.

I look for Bongi and Thabiso they're seated with Thabiso's parents Thandolwethu and Thabsile. Everyone here looks


 amazing. Ngxabi's daughters are all beautiful I must say. The brown eyes are standard most are light skinned the darkest are just a tad darker than me and I'm a caramel tone. The almost teen Nosi is here too.

I see Ntombi and her husband too she seems to be pregnant. There are waiters here and they're serving us from a menu. It's so nice there's all sorts of food available.

Bongi comes to me and asks that we're excused from the table we stand a few meters from the tent.

 "Girl my mother just called. For the first time in years she called and said she would love to see me today. I told Thabiso I'm going there right now." Bongi.

"You'll arrive late." I say.

"I don't care. This is my mother. I'll go tell Uthando goodbye and go now. I just wanted to let you know." Bongi.

"Alright thanks girl call when you get there." Me.

"I will see you later." Bongi.

I'm gonna get bored later today if Hakeem leaves me in the room without Bongi here. I go back to my table and I see my butternut soup is here mmh nice. Bongi comes back to our table and asks for Mrs Ngubo. They talk on the side a bit and Mrs Ngubo comes back.

"What was that?" Bab' Ngubo.

"The child was borrowing my car it's the only car near the gate and the others seem to be parked in" Mrs Ngubo.

"I don't like this. I bought that car just for you." Bab' Ngubo. "Well actually baba it's the one I bought my self." Mrs Ngubo.

 "Can I go check on Khulani?" MaRadebe.

"Nonsense the child is with professionals. He will be fine. Sit and enjoy." Mrs Ngubo sounds as cold as she was when I first met her.

"But..." Khulani's mother.

"No. Sit down Lerato." Mrs Ngubo is scary.

"Okay" Khulani's mother says in almost a whisper.

Yes. This table is not awkward at all.


 Nobuhle and Nosi stand up and go to the mic. They begin singing Amanda Black's Seperate in acapella. The way their voices blend! You would swear they are twins. It's so beautiful. Yonela gets up and goes to play the piano while Azola goes to play the drums. Wow! Now I understand why all this stuff was here.

I missed my daughter as soon as me and Hakeem are done we go back into the house and I see the kids around the pool. There are helpers here making sure they are taken care of and that the younger kids don't drown. Hakeem and I walk in and ask for

 Zendaya. Uthando's face is stuffed with chocolate and I'm guessing it's the bribe Bongi gave her to stop crying for her. We go and let the kids be.

Zendaya seems to have missed us. We're on the bed lying down and she's in between us. She's playing with our faces and drumming on our chests. So cute and carefree. It's family time and all we're doing is playing with her. We tickle her she laughs and tries to tickle us too. Our daughter is our world that I'm sure of.

What happened? I wake up to see Zendaya sleeping on her dad's chest and I have my hand over her. I'm guessing we all fell asleep. I get up and go to the kitchen so I can make her bottle. What? Thabiso has his bags with him and carrying Uthando while one of the drivers is carrying the bags.

"Thabiso why are you going?" I ask.

"Uthando's mother... She was in a car accident." He says calmly. "What?!" I ask shocked.

"We're going to her now." He's still calm.

 "So she's okay?" I ask with a bit of relief.

"I don't know. They said to come to hospital. Bye Maka Nokwanda. I have to go." He says and with that he's off.

My heart is breaking literally. I can't breathe. Christmas hates me I know but Bongi? This isn't happening right now. I go back to the bedroom without the bottle. I have to tell Hakeem so we can go support Thabiso Bongi and Uthando.

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