Four.

I park the car and wait for everyone to get out. I check Mimi's side and she is fast asleep with her mouth wide open. Mama is looking at her in disbelief while Fez looks disgusted.


“Yo! I wonder what type of alcohol Mimi drinks. She sleeps a lot and burps too I think I will be a wise alcoholic like Nini. She doesn’t get drunk no matter what” Fez says. Mimi gives her an evil look and gets out of the car. That’s Fezeka for you we’ve been telling her to call us mommy but no she disagrees. She says she can’t have two mothers. She calls us both by our names she only calls us mommy when she wants something.


When the pastor and his wife walk in at church worship and keyboard gets louder. They look so powerful it’s like they will command the heaven’s gate to open and we will all walk in heaven; hand in hand busy rejoicing. They are ushered like they are royalty walking on red carpet screaming ‘power’.


As far as my knowledge goes this is an Apostolic Faith Mission Church. There is no uniform whatsoever you wear what you want. These brothers and sisters in here who all act holier-than-thou on the pulpit are very dangerous. They are busy talking about sin isn’t dating each other at church sin? I mean they are brothers and sisters! Almost everyone here has a lover besides the oldies of course. That’s the only problem I have with this church.


What I love about this church is that they are very organized people everything is done orderly. When you walk in you walk on a red carpet. Ushers usher you to your seats they have bottled water. When it’s time for altar call people go in groups and wait for their turn. I don’t want to mention the decorations! Everything is clean.


When it’s time to pray everyone goes to a place I don’t know. I seem out of place with everyone shouting and crying. Honestly I’ve prayed asked for forgiveness on my sins even on those I don’t know I asked for protection I asked for success and lastly I asked for wisdom. All these people are crying I don’t know why. Maybe I’ve got nice life problems. I put the prosperity of my businesses under wisdom it’s what I need to carry on everyday. 


And Mimi! I don’t believe this child well not really child because we’re the same age. She’s praying in tongues and she’s weeping I have to ask them some day about what is it that makes them cry so much. This one is probably drunk right now but she’s crying. 


After the service we go around hugging and shaking hands with people. After five or less people I don’t know but I’m already annoyed. The pastor told us to greet everyone as a way to show love I mean how am I going to greet all these people? I think of an escape chance and I tell my mom I’ll be bringing the car closer so that she won’t walk a longer period since we parked far.


“Maka Fezeka” someone says as I open my car. I stop and lean on it examining my ‘brother’. He calls me Maka Fezeka and it’s cute. It has that effect on me. He looks good on his black pants and a white shirt. The shirt hugs him tightly and it’s damn sexy! If tables were turned I would date him any day but I just don’t feel him.


“Brother Wait” I say and he chuckles. Linda translates to Wait and I kind of love calling him Wait. I feel like I’m telling him to wait. Waiting for the impossible. The way he blushes! It’s a pity that I’m a no-go area. I always make sure to emphasize the ‘brother’ thing. 


“It’s good to see you. How are you doing? I didn’t see you last Sunday” Ncoooh! He’s such a gentleman if only he could leave me alone and focus on finding his wife.


“I was in Durban and I’m okay how are you?” 


“I’m good now that I’ve seen you. Can we go somewhere for lunch?” I give it to him he has a beautiful smile. 


“Wait are you asking for a date?” I ask with my eyebrow raised. It’s nice playing like this you know. I like teasing him whereas I know that we don’t stand a chance. In the past five years that he has been after me we have only had dinner once. It was everything and more but I don’t feel him. I think I don’t have feelings anymore because no man awakens them up. If there is such I strongly believe that my feelings are switched off. I left a portion of my feelings with Lonwabo. I only get horny whenever I’m thinking about the things he used to do to me I then end up touching myself. I haven’t done that in a long time though maybe I’m finally letting go. 


“Mmh

yes. I would like us to go on a date” he says smiling. I think he’s under pressure shame all the brothers in his age are married or at least engaged. He’s s cool guy he has two cars and I’m sure he’s loaded. He just needs a woman but hat woman is not me. 


“Tomorrow 13:00pm. Pick me up” I say and open the car door. I get inside and he mouths an ‘I love you' I smile and shake my head. I’m not looking for a relationship! I know for a fact that tomorrow I’m driving to Durban. 


You know I waited when I first came back home. I had hope that Lonwabo might come for me I waited and waited till I realized that he wasn’t coming. He had given up on me and I don’t blame him. I could have done better than leaving him with only a letter. We could have talked like adults and reach for a solution together. Maybe I could have taken a break and come back once everything is sorted but I chose to leave. My worst mistake leaving the man I love.


I wait for a good fifteen minutes while my mother is talking with the church ladies. Some are playing matchmakers matching me up with their sons because I have ‘money’ now. I’m a landlord in town. As if I didn’t work for it I worked hard to get what I have today.


________ 


“You’ve been quiet a lot today. Are you alright?” Mimi asks as we prepare lunch. We have just got back from church. 


“I’m fine don’t worry” I say and flash a weak smile. Honestly I don’t know if I’m fine or not. I’m not sad and I’m not happy either.


“I saw her talking with uncle Linda maybe he made her sad” Fez says. I don’t know what she even wants here she’s just looking at us as we work. She said she wanted to help but that’s not what she is doing now.


“You and Linda? You still don’t want to tell me what’s going on?” Mimi asks. 


“Yes. She should tell us” mama joins in I don’t know when she got here. But it’s good to see her talk and laugh.


“Nothing is going on between us he’s just crushing on me but it will pass” I say.


“Crushing on you Nini? Are you hearing yourself? That man loves you and he has been waiting for years. Why don’t you see that he loves you?” mama! I don’t feel anything for Linda and I would be toying with his feelings if I agree to date him.


“Mama please I don’t need a man” I say. 


“Heee! Who is taking care of your itchiness? Or you have toys?” Mimi says and laughs. 


“In case you forgot there’s a baby in this room!” I shout.


“Eerh! What does she know about toys she is probably thinking about her doll toys” Mimi says and laughs. Mama is looking at us like we are crazy and Fez is confused good! 


“When are you two getting your own places?” Mama asks. Say what now?! I enjoy staying at home.


“Yo mama! You are kicking us out?” I ask.


“I’m not kicking you out but you both need a place of your own. I also need my space but Nofefe will stay with me of course. I don’t trust the both of you to take care of her” mama I wonder why she has little faith in us. I understand with Mimi she loves going out but with me I don’t understand. I can take care of Fez.


“Umama uyajola! How? When? Who?” Mimi screams dating? Eew! I can’t imagine my mother dating at her age it’s even worse knowing that my mother is engaging herself in sex!


“Don’t be forward wena! I’m serious” mama says. 


“I do have a house” I say.


“I’m not talking about the house in Durban. The one you bought especially because I told you to do so. I’m talking about your house in here where you live because you hardly go to Durban” mama says. I don’t see the need of this really.


“Hhayi mama. There’s enough space for all of us here and if you want a bigger house to accommodate all of us I’ll happily build a bigger house” I say. Why does she want us to move out? I don’t want to live alone! Mama turns and looks at Mimi probably waiting for her answer.


“I also agree with Buhle. You have been my family and I don’t want to lose you. I can’t stay alone I’m used to this homely feeling and I can’t let it go. If you want a bigger house you will get it. Buhle and I will build it for you” Mimi says.


“You both don’t see the point in this do you? I’m not kicking you out” mama says and leaves. What if she has a boyfriend God no! She is too old for that!


Mimi is buy laughing I’m sure that she is amused by this. Now I imagine my mother kissing a random old man they take off each others clothes the guy goes down on my mother. Eeew! No I can’t! 


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