It’s Friday today and I’m back in Durban. I went back to Margate on Wednesday morning and I’m back again today since I’m going to a funeral tomorrow. I’m spending a night at Mbali's house. We haven’t had a whole night to ourselves in ages I really miss her. Ooh and yummy yum Nick has been on my case for the last two days. He didn’t go back home he has been helping MaCele with the funeral arrangements. He calls now and again he texts me and this evening he delivered food for Mbali and I. I gave him the address and he rocked up in here looking delicious. Mbali's words not mine.
I’m listening to Mbali whine about everything. It’s like Candice is growing up every day and the cries are also getting louder. Honestly I feel sorry for Mbali. I can see that she is not coping this is too much for her and she desperately wants to work. It doesn’t help that her husband is always busy with work.
“Buhle it’s like my life has stopped! My university friends are working and blossoming while I stay at home doing nothing! They think all is good just because I’m married. I want to work Buhle get a break or else I will start blaming my children for putting my career on hold” she says and sits back on the couch. Her hands are both resting on her forehead. I thought she had finished talking.
“I’m sorry don’t cry now you will make your babies cry. Please hold on just until Candy is four months old then I will talk to MaCele and ask her to organize someone who will take care of the children”
“You will do that for me? Thank you! Thank you! I just want her to take care of the babies only she can leave in the afternoons and come back in the mornings. I will still cook and do everything” she jumps to me and holds me tightly on her arms.
“Yeah yeah it’s all good and please do something about your hair” I say and laugh. Her hair does not give me peace.
“See? This is the second time you’re telling me this. I hardly have time for myself”
“Yo! Please be positive for once you’re going to make me sad kanti I’m happy”
“Allow me to cry to you. You’re my only sister and of course I don’t have anyone to talk to”
“You have sisters in law” I say and she gives me an evil look. Well she doesn’t get along with them.
“Don’t bore me with those bitches. Just tell me about your colored eye candy”
“Colored? Who’s that? I haven’t scored myself a colored hunk”
“Don’t tell me that you didn’t notice that your boyfriend is colored” she says. I shake my head and she laughs louder. She has tears streaming down her face.
“Well he’s not colored he’s just yellow” I defend myself knowing very well that I don’t know. I’ve been smiling a lot lately he makes me laugh and smile but I don’t love him. I don’t trust him and I don’t know him. What if he has a wife or fiance somewhere?
Another thing is the guy is naughty. His talks leave me wet down there. So this morning he called and asked if my boyfriend has made me cum today to kick start my day. I became a little bit rude and asked him how is that any of his business. He just laughed at me and whispered sweet things to my ear until I came. He sounded pleased with himself but I was embarrassed for cuming for a man I don’t know. He said that he loves my voice when I’m about to cum and he would like to hear it matched up with his groans when he is deep inside me.
God! The way I melted I even had a second orgasm.
Funerals are always draining for me. They remind me of the past and that’s something I would rather block away from my mind. I’m in Nick's arms once again. I’m crying and he’s drying my tears. People speak highly of this man he was a loving family man. And then there are his drinking mates who are already drunk and mumbling things I don’t hear.
When the coffin goes down I sob. I sob so much that people turn to look at me in a suspicious way. Tears blind my vision and I blink my tears away. When my eyes are clear I feel like the whole surroundings have changed and I’m in Eastern Cape at Lonwabo's home. The big brown casket is no more and all I see is Luvuyo's little white coffin. I feel my knees getting weak but strong arms catch me. It’s Nick he picks me up and leads me to his car. I wail until I feel my checks hurting.
“It’s okay baby. Let it all out” his words seem to fuel me up and I cry more. After some time I calm down and I can’t bring myself to look up at him. He brushes my cheecks with his thumb and raises my face. I look at him and his smile washes away some of my pain. His t-shirt is revealing a chain that is on his neck sigh! So much jewelry in a man!
“Want to talk about it?” he asks and I shake my head.
“It just brought back memories I’d rather forget” I say and snuggle up closer to him. He smells heavenly.
“Let’s get out of here. I’m sure you’re hungry. I'll fetch your car later” he says and I nod. I’m hungry and I want to get out of here. He drives out and the car is filled with silence all the way. He is playing Justin Bieber's songs and they somehow calm me down.
“My sister tells me you’re colored” I blurt out but soon regret it. Maybe I could have asked in a better way but what’s done is done. He laughs out loud throwing his head back with his mouth wide open I even see a chain gold teeth on his lower jaw. The chain looks like teeth braces. We have just finished eating and we’re ‘spending’ time together. Just to get to know each other.
“And also are you a criminal? Why do you wear so much jewelry? It was earrings now it’s a chain gold teeth rings and maybe there’s more” I say. I’ve seen criminals wearing rings on TV sometimes it’s powerful drug lords.
“Yes I also have my balls pierced” he’s doing it again. Turning me on and making me blush. He laughs out loud again.
“The look on your face! You look cute though and to answer your questions I just love them. I can take the chain off if you want and obviously I can’t remove my gold teeth. The rings are not going also you’ll see the magic as time goes by” he says with a smirk.
“And my race! That’s some complicated shit. My grandmother from my father’s side is Indian my grandfather is Tswana so they made my father. That makes my father a Tswana man. From my mother’s side both her parents are colored and that makes her colored. I think that also makes me half colored and half Tswana. So my mom and dad got married I look like my mother. Her colored genes are dominant. I have two brothers and two sisters” he says. Eish this is hurting my head. I don’t really understand this but from what I’ve got he is colored.
“This is really complicated yo!” I say and we both laugh. I don’t know seriously maybe I’m slow
“No it’s not. You must just know that I’m a proud Tswana man”
“Okay I get it. I have a six years old daughter and two sisters. I live with my mother daughter and other sister. Well you know Mbali” I say. That’s the information I’m willing to give to him.
“Ooh you have a daughter? Where is her father?” he asks.
“His father is back in Margate” I say and watch him sigh. I think it’s a sigh of relief.
“I have two girls. They are both with their mother’s and before you bite my head off I do support them and they visit me whenever they can” his face speaks volumes about the love he has for his daughters.
“I’m glad you’re in their lives. Unlike that moron I call my daughter's father” If our relationship lasts I’m going to tell him the truth then. Yes you heard that right. I think I want to be with him. For now he must just think that Fez is my daughter.
“And I’m glad because he was paving a way for me” he says and holds my hands.
“Please I promise that I’ll make you happy. Just give me a chance I really like you. I love you so fucken hard but let’s just keep it on like because I don’t want to scare you off” he says. God! He keeps licking his lips I want to kiss him.
“I want to kiss you too but I’m waiting for my answer first” he says. Did I say that out loud? No I don’t think so. Maybe he saw the way I was looking at his lips.
“I’m scared Nick. I’m scared of being hurt. You will hurt me and I think there are things that you will want of which I can’t provide you with”
“Whatever that is babe we will sort it out” he says looking at me with pleading eyes. I’m not going to beat around the bush or play the game of playing hard to get and him running around seeking my attention. I believe that I have grown up now. It’s no use running away from him. Yes I’ve only known him for five days but in these five days I feel like I’ve known him for eternity. You can get to know a person for a year and if they don’t value your relationship they will leave. You also can play hard to get but when they want to leave they leave.
“Okay. I’m giving us a chance” I say. He lowers his head and kisses my hands. He attempts standing up but sits down again.
“Thank you. You won't regret this” I hope I don’t.