My mother had a way of interrogating me. I swear this old lady should have worked for the high court. She knew how to find your weak spot and go in for the kill.
Don't get me wrong I love my mother to death but she can truly drive me crazy with her endless ways a trait my second sister shares with her wholeheartedly so it is not surprising that they get along so well. I always feel like the third wheel when I am with them.
My mother's favourite pastime is entertaining in her home. My favourite pastime? A mind-blowing orgasm and a good book and I am A-okay. Not my mother; she would not know what to do with herself if she didn't throw a lavish dinner party at least once a month twice if she really wanted to go all out.
My take on it all? She loves to show off her house and all the expensive things in it. I mean what's the point of going shopping in Sandton if you can’t throw it in the faces of your envious friends and family right? Especially to those at Mahikeng.
Growing up in my house was like being on display. I think Nolo and I were more like my mother's dress-up dolls than children. She loved to dress us up and take us out. I had my first pair of sneakers shoes when I was five – I didn't know what the hell sneaker was but I was sporting them like a champ. That was probably the beginning of my shoe fetish. Yes I believe I owe all that to my mom.
It was around two o'clock when I finally got to my parents’ house. I grew up at Ramatlabama 600 in Mahikeng but following my primary school graduation my parents packed up and headed to Gauteng in 1994 to an upscale suburb called Fourways.
I arrived early with my regular bottle of red wine for my mom and a bottle of Johnny Walker for my dad. I was always underdressed. My casual wear never compared to their “after five” attire.
My mother spotted me coming down the street. At her age she was a vision of beauty and was often compared to uMama Madikizela Mandela.
“Oh hello my child” my mother said as she gave me an air peck on the cheek. She then continued to scan me up and down. I was wearing my favourite pair of Sneaker shoes with a pair of straight leg jeans and a turquoise fitted top; I thought I was looking quite nice but unfortunately my mother thought differently. “Look at you. Couldn’t you at least put on one thing with sequins?”
“Does underwear count?” I asked knowing this would rub my mom the wrong way.
“Oh sweetheart don't be vulgar” my mother said.
My mother was very conservative. I often wondered if she and my dad had sex anymore not to mention if she ever found it in her heart to give him a blowjob did I say blowjob?
“Where's Daddy?” I asked as I placed the bottle and whisky on the counter then opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.
“You know your father; he’s up in his study and who knows if he'll even show his face tonight.”
My father was known as the strong silent type. He didn't say much but when he did it was powerful. I often wondered what he said to get a woman like my mother to even look at him. Then again as a state Supreme Court justice at age 35 I guess he didn't have to say much at all to hook a woman ten years his junior in search of a financially stable life.
I wasn't in the house for five minutes when I hear “So Nolo tells me you met a man.” My mother looked at me waiting for confirmation.
I choked on my water. “Did she? What else did Nolo say?”
“That he is a architect and is in the process of opening up his own company.”
I was sure my mother had already Googled search the brother and knew more about him than I did but of course she would never admit to being a second-hand stalker.
“Well it looks like Nolo has filled you in very well” I said.
“Yes but when were you going to tell me?”
I shifted a little nervously preparing to blurt out my lie. “Tonight. I was going to tell you tonight and he was going to come but he is swamped at work.”
“I see” Mother said slowly. “How long have you been dating him?”
Although in truth it was closer to a month that wouldn’t have flown with my mom since she expected to meet any new love interest within the first week of my making his acquaintance so out popped lie number two: “Oh just a little over a week.” At least I was consistent with the lies.
“Well I think that's fabulous” she said. “I'm glad you found a man with a career this time.”
“What does that mean?” I retorted. I knew where she was taking this and I hated her for it.
“I mean if you're going to spend some time with someone why not have it be a man who can financially support you? Dating men without a real job is just a waste.”
“Mom I don't need a man to support me” I said “I have a job a good one.”
“Yes I know but when you have kids you can't work and raise a decent family.”
“Oh but when you have kids you can't work and raise a decent family.”
“Oh God!” I exclaimed.
“A woman should be at home with her kids. Those first years are the most important for you and kids and you see I didn't work.”
“That was your choice” I replied. “I like having a career my own money my own say.”
That hit home for my mother. She looked away pretending to straighten the gourmet spice rack. I just couldn’t keep my foot out of my mouth.
“I'm sorry Mom.”
As usual my mom acted like nothing had been said. She was good at brushing such situations under the rug. She and Nolo definitely had that in common.
“So how is your job going baby?”
I looked at my mom and felt so sorry for her in that moment. I gave into her rules – we just didn't talk about our problems in this house.
“It's um going great. Karabo and I just landed The HUB a new client.” My mother's face turned up as if she had just sucked on a lemon.
“Dear who is the hub?”
“It’s an entertainment company from United State so Karabo and I are working on an intense building plans and financial plans. It's going to be amazing.”
“Well good good I'm happy for you. How is Karabo anyway? Did she get my invite?”
“Yes Mother she's coming tonight.”
“Fabulous. Oh dear look at the time; I must go change before the guests arrive. Like I said your father is in his study and he would love to see you.” My mother turned to leave.
I stood in my parents’ obscenely oversized kitchen with bamboo wood cabinets stainless steel appliances and a host of other decorative touches copied from various interior design magazines and thought to myself that money is great and it’s comforting and it will buy you all the pleasures of life – but unfortunately it will never buy happiness.
The night was nearly over when I found an opportunity to pull Karabo away from the crowd over to a secluded corner hoping no one could hear.
“I knew it; it was those damn shoes!” Karabo said as I told her every single detail about my elevator escapade with Loyiso.
Karabo held out her hand for her hundred rands. “So much for the ‘waiting to get to know him’ thing so pay up bitch.” I playfully slapped Karabo’s hand down.
“I don't know what came over me” I said.
“I do. Dick! It happens to the best of us” Karabo said as she grabbed her glass of wine and raised it in a toast. “Now that's something I will definitely drink to. I wish my husband would fuck me in an elevator. Hell I wish he'd just fuck me period and maybe then I would stop having thoughts of smothering his ass with a pillow while he sleeps.” “So do you think Loyiso will think I'm a hoe?” “Let's only hope.” Karabo grinned.
“Come on Karabo be serious” I pleaded.
“I am serious. Listen you fucking this man only means you liked him and you weren't afraid to show it period. More women should learn from you.”
“So you think he'll call me?” I asked still not totally convinced. “If he doesn't then you call him.” “I can't do that” I protested.
“Because I don't want to look like….” “A hoe?” Karabo asked.
“Tsholo what is your fixation on looking like a hoe? Hell it’s the 21st century; we are in a sexual revolution. Women are finally accepting the fact that it's okay to get our fuck on and if it's with a younger man even better. Men have been doing it since the beginning of time so it's our turn don't you think? So don't be ashamed if you want to fuck your man on a first date in the elevator.
Be ecstatic and call his ass the next day so you can have part two.”
Karabo downed the rest of her wine. “If some frigid bitch has something to say well fuck her too.” Karabo slammed her wine glass down on the table. “Karabo has spoken.”
“You're crazy you know that?”
“No sweetheart. Just damn horny.”
Karabo winked and walked away. I looked to the left then to the right making sure I was still in the clear.
Karabo was hundred percent right and I knew it; I just needed to hear her validation to convince myself. I couldn't get Loyiso out of my mind; I knew I had to see him again for part two just like Karabo said. With that I pulled out my cell phone and dialled his number.
I am woman. Hear me roar!