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Chapter 2

My name is Ayanda Xaba a 27years old qualified lawyer and chef ohh yes a whole lawyer sending Cv's to restaurants because of our lack of jobs it is very hard now finding the job that is right without complications it's either you too qualified or they can't afford you so we have to stuck home with our degrees.Well my mother left me when I was 10months she left without an explanation or what's ever I didn't know her I still don't but I would sit out looking at the gate hoping that she would get it but she never did I was all alone with dad we walked this journey together we did almost everything together only the two of us he was there when I got my first period he was with me when I got my first boyfriend not to talk about him being overprotective but those will forever be moments I'll never forget now that God decided to take him away from me made me hate him it's like the more we pray the more things get worse when will I ever be happy when will I ever be like other children yes I might have alot but emotional and mentally I'm not okay I need a parent love I need the love that everyone highly appreciate the love of a mother the love of a woman the same women that hold a knife in it's sharpness but god decided to not give me that love but to give me pain and misery

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the love of a woman the same women that hold a knife in it's sharpness but god decided to not give me that love but to give me pain and misery I hardly laugh all I do is cry and get back to faking smile I've even gotten used to it.


Life without a mother's love

Ayanda pov


It's has been two weeks since I have buried my dad to think that my family didn't even wait for a day to see if I'm okay or functioning and sleeping well just after the funeral they left nor did they eat ever since that day I've never heard from any of them beside Uncle K for what I know is that I'll get back to my feet and fight this ruthless life.

Today I was going for will reading at the Ndlovu firm I was the only one included in that will I don't know why do I have to travel there I called my friend Phila to accompany me so that after I can move out of this house if I don't I'll lose my mind 

Phila called 

Phila:Hey babes where are you I've been waiting for you it's been damn 2hours girl I have an appointment with my man so please

I laughed and yes his gay one of the most important people in my life or actually the only person I'm left with we've been friends since childhood even if they had a fall out with dad now and then but they were so close that I sometimes get jealous.

Me:Just fixing my shoes I'll be driving out soon

Phila:Hurry Nana I'm hungry and it's on you

Me:Haiboh Phila you know very well that I've got a lot of things in my shoulders right now I don't have money tuu am also not hungry

Phila:Stop it Yaya I'm not taking a no for a answer we going out you've lost so much weight you need to suck it up and accept that Tata is no more and get yourself together fight and find a job now that his no more no one will take care of you like he didyour family don't give a damn about you only their selfish selffor god damn sake you so qualified you've got degrees and went to culinary school use the money Tata left for you and start your law firm or culinary school or somethingbe fast you'll find me outside my house.he hung up 

I was now on tears Phila is like this he just speaks his mindhe never care if what he says will break you or build he just don't hold it in and now that he said it I'll have to get myself together and start being serious.i looked myself in the mirror one last time and left

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