Days have passed 5 days to be exact since I discovered that I might be pregnant. My sister was really disappointed in me and I don't blame her. After the conversation we had she went to buy a pregnant test for me that day 11 October but she didn't return home as she gave birth to a preemie baby son. I couldn't imagine what she and her fiancé were going through. My heart aches for them especially for my sister. I love her I have always loved her even before we find out we are siblings. She is kind loving caring good hearted and friendly. Well I was crushing on her fiancé but that doesn't mean I don't love her. It was just a silly crush and she reprimanded me I realized my mistake and moved on. It really good to have a sister like her. Ever since she made peace with Mama the bond between us is growing and its amazing. After the incident I have been dreading to do the test. I was scared of the results I needed her to be with me but she is going through a very difficult situation right now. I heard that she is going crazy she must be very traumatized shame umtaka mah. I didn't even know what to do to make her feel better. I had to be brave and do the test without her presence. So I was in my bedroom pacing up and down as I waited for the results. After few minutes I checked the three pregnant tests that were lying on my bed and all off them showed two red lies. Oh Jesus what have I done we only did it twice and I hadn't even enjoyed it kusasebehlungu. I punched the mirror frustratedly and It cracked. I looked at my hand that bled immediately. I have always been scared of pain and blood since I was born. I groaned. Mom and Ma Khoza barge in my bedroom looking all worried

Mom:"Kwenzenjani Thembelihle" (What is going on Thembelihle) I couldn't respond my hand was too painful "You hurt yourself"

Me:"Its nothing Ma" 

Ma Khoza:"You are bleeding"

I winced in pain

Mom:"I will...Thembelihle Ngcobo what is this?" she took the pregnant test on the bed. I looked down I couldn't respond. "Are you pregnant?"

Me:"Uh..emm uhh" I stuttered

Mom:"Uh..emm..uhh you can't talk now? "

Me:"Mama I'm sssory"

Ma Khoza gasped

Mom:"Usangene yini ekhanda Thembelihle!? Who gave you the permission to open your legs!!"

Me:"No one Ma Im really sorry " I started crying 

Mom:"Nyory nyory is that all you gonna say?!! You are 16 for John's sake how are you going to raise a baby!!" she roared in anger

Me:"Ma Im..." I didn't even finish a clap laid on my face as I was still surprised by that another clap followed one after the other. I wailed like a baby. 

Mom:"At your age you are having sex? What kind of a child are you? You such a disgrace!!"

Ma Khoza:"You have hit her enough now Thandaza" she pulled her away from me

Me:"Out of all people you are the last one to judge me! You also slept with your sister's boyfriend!"

She chuckled in disbelief and grabbed my arm but Ma Khoza held her.

Mom:"I have no words for you leave my house!" 

Me:"Where do you expect me to go?"

Mom:"Whoever that boy that made you think having sex give you a right to talk to me as if I'm your friend!!" She walked out. This is my father's house I'm not going anywhere. 



After spending time with our son we went to Mcds and had our supper there. 

Me:"How are you feeling baby?"

She drank her coke and looked at me

Ndoni:"Happy sad

sad exhausted cranky I don't know baby but I feel like Im trapped in someone's body. This is not me and I can't find the reason for that "

Me:"Don't worry sthandwa sami Gcinile is going to help you get back yourself. You have been through a lot"

Ndoni:"Who is Gcinile now?"

Me:"She is a psychologist"

Ndoni:"Isn't that a person who treat people with mental disorders?" she looked perplexed

Me:"Yes that is true"

Ndoni:"So does that mean I have mental disorder?" 

Me:"Uhm.. not eally baby" 

Ndoni:"You are lying to me Nhlonipho. Am I crazy?"

Me:"No baby you are not crazy I think you have post traumatic stress disorder" 


She doesn't believe me

"I want to sleep now"

Me:"Okay let's go then" 

We stood up and made our way out. I opened the door for her she got in then I closed the door. I went to my side and got in then drove off. "How did if felt to hold our son" I squeezed her hand

Ndoni:"It felt mmh.. I have no words to describe that feeling. I want him to be out of hospital already. I want to hold him every second" 

Me:"He will be out soon sthandwa sami we just have to keep visiting him and spend more time with him." 

Ndoni:"You love him do you?" 

Me:"He is my everything"

Ndoni:"Eh its look like he replaced me nje" she chuckled and I giggled

Me:"Never you are irreplaceable as much as he is irreplaceable" 

Ndoni:"Its doesn't make sense Nipho. If we mean this much to you its impossible that yo...ay forgot I said that"

Me:"You can talk to me baby please"

Ndoni:"I feel like...ay I don't know I'm so confused right now I don't even know what day is it today and I..." her voice neared tears

Me:"Share your feelings with me tell me what are you confused about? Today its Wednesday" 

Ndoni:"Hold me please" I parked the car aside and lowered the seat then I made her lie on top of me her legs on my side as I laid with my back on the seat. She wept silently I kept brushing her back. 

Me:"It going to be okay my love. All of this will be over. Im here with you yezwa" she nodded "and I love you so much" 

A while later I heard her breath relaxing which means she fall asleep. I got up with her and opened the door then stepped out with her and open the back seat door. I laid her on the back seat then I closed the door and went to the driver seat driving swiftly to our house. When I arrived home I went straight to our bedroom and laid my fiancée on the bed. I undressed her then slipped her under blankets. I looked at her beautiful face and kissed her lips. If I didn't get in time she would have jumped into the river. She would have been dead now that thought crushed my soul. I kissed her one more time and walked downstairs. Ma was talking to the phone in the lounge. 

Mom:"I love my son...of course...no no he deserve better...everybody deserve a second chance...That girl is disrespectful and rude...she trapped my son with a baby...I can see through her she is a gold digger..I will make him realize the mistake he is making by marrying that girl... I know but I wish this baby could die once and for all..." 

To say I was shocked that will be an understament. I cleared my throat. She jumped up and drop the phone.

Me:"Wow mother of the year!"

Mom:"Uhm erh ndodana its not what you think it is"

Me:"I just heard you say you want my son to die and you tell me its not what I think it is? Wow I'm so hurt right now you want my only son to die. What kind of a mother are you? Why do you hate my fiancée this much that you will wish your own grandson to die? You should be happy for me that I have son now. Do you know how hurt I was when I found out Ntokozo is not my son? I was beyond shattered. Now that I have finally have a son with a woman I love you want to destroy all that. You should be comforting me and giving me hope. Have you ever think how do I feel right now about everything that is going on. I don't remember words of comfort coming out from your mouth or at least a hug but you call yourself my mother. Ndoniyamanzi was right you came here with your dirty spirit and it's not good at all for me my fiancée and my son. Pack your bags and leave mother"

She was is in tears and sniffing but I was too hurt to care about her tears. I couldn't fathom out how can a mother want his grandson to die her first grandchild. It hurt so much when your own parent doesn't care about your happiness. I love her so much but this time it over board and I want nothing to do with her ever again. As much as it hurt I had to do it cut her out of our life for good. 


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Mbuyi 2019-07-03 11:12:39

This woman is evil. How can she wish for a baby to die. Good riddance. She doesn't deserve Nipho's love