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Ndoniyamanzi

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"Breath baby breath" As if it was easy to do that. I was in excruciating pain and worried at the same time. He can't be coming its way too early. He called my mom as he was driving like a maniac to the hospital. Zwide was on duty but Nipho offered to be the one to deliver the baby. 

Nipho:"Baby please relax and focus on our son " 

Mom was stroking my hair and kissing my sweaty forehead every now and then while Ma Khoza was squeezing my hand. 

Me:"No Nipho stop him please" I cried

Nipho:"Its already late baby just allow him to come please my love open your legs"

Me:"Nooo!" I screamed in agony

Ma Khoza:"Sthandwa sami listen to your fianc√© please baby" 

Nipho:"Please my love I'm begging you"

I opened my legs "Now push my love"

I pushed squeezing Ma Khoza's hand "You are doing good push again" I pushed again even though my strength was failing me

Me:" I can't do it" 

Nipho:"One more push baby just one more

Me:"My strength is failing me" I cried

Mom:"Breath in and out and give one last push baby" She kissed my forehead for the 100th time I breathed in and out and gave my last power push and he was finally out. 

Me:"Why is he not crying Nipho? " 

He ignored me and walked out with him

"Nhlonipho!" I screamed after him "He is not crying Ma why?" I started crying

Ma Khoza:"Sshh don't cry baby let's wait for Nhlonipho" 

Me:"No he can't die on me nooo" I wailed

Mom:"He won't die sis please don't cry" She pressed me close to her chest. I cried so much until it was all blank. 

I felt warm lips placing a kiss on my forehead and opened my eyes. He smiled weakly he looked groggy

Nipho:"Hey you are awake"

Me:"Please tell me he is not dead please" tears warmed up in my eyes

Nipho:"Come let's me take you to him" I got up from the bed he held my waist as he led me to his room. My knees wobbled as we got closer to him. He was lying there in an incubator his sight was traumatic tears automatically streamed down on my face. There were too many pipes and tubes connected to him. He looked so tiny he had no eyelashes and his skin was kinda reddish and thin I could see blood vessels underneath. 

Me:"Is he going to be okay?" He pressed his eyes closed and whispered

Nipho:"Yes he will be okay"

Me:"So many pipes and tubes" I wiped my tears that couldn't stop flowing down on my face

Nipho:"He is a premature baby his lungs do not have slippery lubricant called surfactant that allows the lungs tiny air sacs called alveoli to open and close smoothly. He is struggling to transfer oxygen and carbon dioxide he needed breathing assistance. He is going to be fed through the fine tube that is placed in his mouth" 

Me:"How did you let this happened?"

He looked at me confused 

"You are my doctor Nipho surely you must have seen something wrong with me "

Nipho:"The was nothing wrong with you baby"

Me:"Then how come he is lying here in this incubator while he is suppose to be inside of me"

Nipho:"I don't know your pregnancy was smooth and healthy "

Me:"I need answers Nhlonipho not that crap!"

Nipho:" Ndoniyamanzi I'm still confused by this. Early birth is usually caused by poor nutrition

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he had no eyelashes and his skin was kinda reddish and thin I could see blood vessels underneath. 

Me:"Is he going to be okay?" He pressed his eyes closed and whispered

Nipho:"Yes he will be okay"

Me:"So many pipes and tubes" I wiped my tears that couldn't stop flowing down on my face

Nipho:"He is a premature baby his lungs do not have slippery lubricant called surfactant that allows the lungs tiny air sacs called alveoli to open and close smoothly. He is struggling to transfer oxygen and carbon dioxide he needed breathing assistance. He is going to be fed through the fine tube that is placed in his mouth" 

Me:"How did you let this happened?"

He looked at me confused 

"You are my doctor Nipho surely you must have seen something wrong with me "

Nipho:"The was nothing wrong with you baby"

Me:"Then how come he is lying here in this incubator while he is suppose to be inside of me"

Nipho:"I don't know your pregnancy was smooth and healthy "

Me:"I need answers Nhlonipho not that crap!"

Nipho:" Ndoniyamanzi I'm still confused by this. Early birth is usually caused by poor nutrition smoking alcohol abuse drugs abuse poor prenatal and physical abnormalities"

Me:"But I followed everything you said. I ate healthy and I didn't drink alcohol"

Nipho:"Exactly so I really don't know"

Me:"You studied almost 10 years to tell me you don't know!?"

Nipho:"What do you want me to say Ndoniyamanzi?"

Me:"Anything that will make me understand all of this!!" 

Nipho:"Stop yelling at me!"

Me:"Is that what you worried about right now my son's life is at risk and I demand answers from you!"

Nipho:"If there was some sort of danger I would have told you and do something about it Ndoniyamanzi. He was perfectly fine and you were fine too. He is my son too!"

Me:"We are not sure about that!"

Nipho:"Oh so that is why you say I did this on purpose just because he could be not mine?"

Me:"Don't put words in my mouth Nhlonipho all I want from you is clear understanding of this! I have a right to demand answers you are my doctor!!" 

Nipho:"I don't have answers Ndoniyamanzi .I'm devastated as much as you please just give me a break"

Me:"My son is..." he interjected

Nipho:"Our son! Look at him and tell me what do you see?"

I did as he said all I could see was a mini Nipho lying so helpless. I was suppose to be happy my wish became true but the situation didn't allow me. I cried so much he pulled me into his arms and embraced me "We are facing a difficult time right now we need to be strong for the sake of our son. Blaming each other won't help. All we gotta do now is pray to God and ask him to save our son" 

Me:"What have we done to who to deserve this?"

Nipho:"We are being tested baby we need to be strong" I wish it was that easy this one was hard on me. I didn't have faith I don't know maybe it was his sight that betrayed my faith. He pulled me back and wiped my tears "We will get through this baby I promise you " He kissed the space between my eyes. "I love you Mama ka Mawakhelomuzi" I managed to smile through my glassy eyes 

Me:"Mawakhelomuzi I love it baby"

Nipho:"I knew you will love it" He smiled

Me:"Mawakhelomuzi Seluleko Sithole" 

He beamed at me and kissed my forehead. 


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