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Ndoniyamanzi

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I spent almost my whole day trying to study but I couldnt focus. My mind was reeling with thoughts. Although mom and I have never been close but she have never illtreated me. What changed? Is it the death of daddy? Its not my fault he died njena. Why is she taking her fustrations on me. The  noise in the house disturbed me. I got up from my bed and went to check. It was my little sister.

Lee:"Inmate Ndoni" she giggled

Me:"You think this is funny huh?"

Lee:"How was your day immate Ndoni" I said nothing and gave her my look of annoyance "The warder is talking to you Inmate Ndoni" She giggled as she made her way to her bedroom

Me:"Where did mom hid food" I said following behind her

Lee:"I dont know inmate Ndoni" She threw her school bag on the bed and started undressing. 

Me:"Come on Lee I know you know Im starving" 

Lee:"I really dont know inmate Ndoni"  I know she knows "Where were you coming from?"

Me:"Bengidukiswe isipoko" She looked at me as If Im crazy then she cackled 

Lee:"Hahaha I know that Sanele is ugly but to call him a spook uyadelela inmate Ndoni" she said laughing. 

Me:"Mxm believe what you wanna believe!"

Lee:"I saw you guys together the day before yesterday." She wore her jean and t-shirt

Me:"Listen here little sister just because you think life revolves around boys it doesnt mean all of us think like that. Are you gonna tell me where is the food or not?" 

Lee:"You owe me you do remember that?"

Me:"I dont owe you anything"

Lee:"Haibo have you forgotten that you should have been worse than this!" 

Me:"I didnt ask you to tell mom to stop beating me" 

Lee:"Hah you are  ungrateful!" 

Me:"Ungrateful? Do you even know what is the meaning of that? Mom is treating you like a fragile cargo she hugs and kisses you and tell you that she love you. She bought you new clothes and new phone but what do you do to thank her you shout at her and  sleeping around with all these boys like nobody's busness. If I were to get a chance to be treated the way mom treat you bengaliphathisa okwezikhali zamantungwa" I left her before she say  something beacause that girl doesnt stop talking. She always want to be the last when there's an arugment. I went to my bedroom and changed my school uniform. I wore a jean and black and white long sleeve t-shirt. I put on my red faded all star then I walked out  to see my friend Azanda. My stomach was  grumbling and I could smell bad odour from my mouth. 

"Hey Ndoni wait up" said a familiar voice behind me. I turned it was Mama Maduna. We go to the same church together. 

Me:"Hello Mama" 

Her:"Hi...abo what happend to your face?"

Me:"Nothing Mama" We started walking together 

Her:"Was it your mom?" I said nothing and looked down "I heard  that she is not treating you well is that the reason you are no longer coming to church?"

Me:"No I have been busy with my school work" I lied mom said I must stop going to church because one of the woman confronted her about the way she have been treating me. 

Her:"You can talk to me Ndoni so that I can help you"

Me:"Im fine Mama serious" 

Her:"Have you eaten?"  Im sure she can smell  odour from my mouth I was so embarrassed. 

Me:"Yes" I lied

Her:"Where are you going?" 

Me:"Im going to see my friend Azanda" 

Her:"Azanda Ngema?" 

Me:"Eh Mama"

Her:"Wuuu that child will bad influence you. She love boys too much! You such a good girl dont let her change you"

Me:"Eh" 

Her:"Here buy some sweet" she gave me a R10 note

Me:"Thank you Mama" I took the money and smiled

Her:"Its my pleasure my child...bye" 

Me:"Bye" We went seperate ways. Luckily Azanda was outside hanging her school shirt on the line. I didnt want her mom to see me because she wont stop asking  what happend  until I tell her. "Mzala" 

Zanda:"Hey mzala..Jesus what happened to your face!" She eyeballed me

Me:"Its a long story mzala. Lets go to the shop"

Zanda:"Sure" We made our way out of the gate and headed to the shop "Why were you absent?"

Me:"Its a long story mzala" 

Zanda:"Haibo Ndoni it always a long story what is going on with you we were writing an exam for christsake" 

Me:"Eish Azanda life have changed ever since daddy died"

Zanda:"I have noticed that I was waiting for you to tell me but you always tell me its a long story. Let me tell you Im getting irked now with this line of yours Im your friend talk to me" 

I told her what happened today crying and sniffing.  "Oh mzala Im sorry" She wrapped her arm around my waist 

Me:"I dont know why she is so mean to me mzala. I try my best to make her happy but she doesnt see it the only person she care about is Lee" I sobbed 

Zanda:"Tjooo Im really sorry mnganami" We got to the shop I wiped my tears then I took the 10 note that I was given by Mama Maduna  "Please give me 4 fatcakes" I said to the guy giving him the money. He took it and went ro get my fatcakes and my change

Him:"Here " I took my fatcakes and my change. 

Me:"You gave me R2 change"

Him:"Yes its R2 each"

Me:"Hah since when?" I widened my eyes

Him:"Last week"

Me:"Aw ay cela ungibuyisele imali mfwethu ngizowathenga ka Phumuza liyishumi lilodwa" (Aw ay give me back my money bra I will buy them at Phumuza store  R1 each) He looked at me with annoyance and took his expensive fatcakes then gave me back my money."Thank you" Azanda giggled as we walked out 

Zanda:"Aw kodwa mzala"

Me:"Ay mzala what is special about his fatcakes do they have  a degree or masters" 

Zanda:"You are crazy...so what are you going to do with your history exam?"

Me:"I will ask Mr Ziqubu to let me write it. I wonder if he will agree na. God that man is so uptight"

Zanda:"Let hope he will" a smile appeared on her face. I looked at the direction of her gaze. Lord she was looking at her boyfriend  that always take her whenever we are together.

Me:"Dont smile because you are not going with him. Im sick and tired of him hijacking our time."

Zanda:"Come on mzala we will be quick"

Me:"Haisuka go to him  while I go inside" 

Zanda:"Thank you mzala" she kissed my cheek and went to her boyfriend while I went inside the store. I bought the fatcakes than I walked out. Azanda and her boyfriend Sizwe  were freely touchy ngaloyomzuzu adults are passing. 

Me:"Come on guys where is respect!" 

Sizwe:"Hello Ndoni" I rolled my eyes

Me:"Hi...lets go Zanda" 

Zanda:"I will call you" she said nearing her lips towards Sizwe's lips I grabbed her arm and walked with her "You such a bore yaz I think its time we find you a boyfriend. Sizwe's brother..." 

Me:"Woah ibambe lapho mzala" (stop it right there) I ate my fatcake

Zanda:"But..."

Me:"Here eat the fatcake coz you dont know what you want to say now" I gave her two fatcakes 

Zanda:"Tomorrow you will come to school right" 

Me:"Ye..." the giggling behind us disturbed me. I turned and look at the girls that were behind us. At first I thought they were laughing at us than I heard one of them saying "Buka lomama akasemdala nje nesisu" (look at this woman she is so old to be pregnant) I turned and looked at the woman that was coming towards.  

Me:"Nx" I clicked my tounge automatically. Zanda looked at me confused 

Zanda:"Yini" (what)

Me:"Did you hear what these girls said behind us" 

Zanda:Yes so?"

Me:"Dont tell me you dont see something wrong about what they said" She gave me that "durh" look "Zanda sex is for adults not for teenagers. That woman have every right to be pregnant. It have  become a norm that teenagers are opening their legs left right and center but that doesnt mean its a way it should be. Look at this girl with a green dress behind us she cant even wipe mucus from her nose how will she take care  of the baby that she is carring" 

Zanda:"Haw mzala you are being judgmental right now"

Me:"No Im not Im just stating the fact but ke usually when a person tells the truth they say he/she is judgme...oh shit!" I stopped walking and looked at my mom stepping out of the taxi. Run! run! a voice inside of me said. Without a waste of time I started running. "Ndoni!" That was Azanda trying to catch up with me "Ndoni wait!" 

Me:"I have to get home before mom does!" We took small breaks in between and kept running until we arrived at Zanda's place 

Zanda:"I will see... you...tommorrow" she said breathing heavily

Me:"Oka..y" 

 Thank God I got there before her. I found Lindelwa watching tv in the lounge and eating bread russian and eggs. 

Me:"You said you dont know where the food is" 

Lee:"Ey awphume kimi wena!" (Leave me alone!) I I looked at her taking a bite of a russian. I snatched it from her hand "Hey give me my russian!" 

Me:"Angifuni" (I dont want to) She stood up I took few steps backward 

Lee:"Haibo Ndoni ngifuna irussian lami!" (Haibo Ndoni I want my russian!)  I shoved it in my mouth greedily. "Fuck you!!" I chew the russian and swallowed than burst into laughter 

Me:"Nawe kanjalo"(same goes to you) I said laughing. Mom walked in I stopped laughing immidiately. 

Mom:"Hello princess" I knew that was not directed to me so I kept quite. 

Lee:"Hey Mama" 

Mom:"Hello bitch" That was directed to me 

Me:"Hi" 

Mom:"Hi nja?"

Me:"Hi Mama" 

Mom:"Have you cooked?"

Me:"No there is no food njena" 

Mama:"Since when go and cook right now!" I skipped to the kitchen and washed my hands. I opened the  fridge it was now full and the cupboard too. I sighed heavily as I gathered everything that I was going to need. I was preparing rice and mince meat. Around 7pm as I was about dish up mom appeared. 

Mom:"Why did you put 3 plates" 

Me:"Siba 3 mos or are we having a visitor?"

Her:"Take that 3rd plate and put it back."

Me:"You not hungry?" 

Mom:"You are the one who will not eat fool!" 

Me:"Mama please Im also hungry I didnt eat the whole day" 

Mom:"Do I look like I care?"  I huffed and took my plate back to the cupboard then I dished up. She was standing right by my side making sure that I dont dish up for myself. When I finished  she took the plates and walked to the lounge while I made my way to my bedroom. I took off my red all star and climbed on the bed. I curled up on my bed and sobbed softly until I fall asleep.  Midnight I was woken up by grumbling of my stomach.  I was starving and my stomach was painful. I got up from the bed russian and eggs. 

Me:"You said you dont know where the food is" 

Lee:"Ey awphume kimi wena!" (Leave me alone!) I I looked at her taking a bite of a russian. I snatched it from her hand "Hey give me my russian!" 

Me:"Angifuni" (I dont want to) She stood up I took few steps backward 

Lee:"Haibo Ndoni ngifuna irussian lami!" (Haibo Ndoni I want my russian!)  I shoved it in my mouth greedily. "Fuck you!!" I chew the russian and swallowed than burst into laughter 

Me:"Nawe kanjalo"(same goes to you) I said laughing. Mom walked in I stopped laughing immidiately. 

Mom:"Hello princess" I knew that was not directed to me so I kept quite. 

Lee:"Hey Mama" 

Mom:"Hello bitch" That was directed to me 

Me:"Hi" 

Mom:"Hi nja?"

Me:"Hi Mama" 

Mom:"Have you cooked?"

Me:"No there is no food njena" 

Mama:"Since when go and cook right now!" I skipped to the kitchen and washed my hands. I opened the  fridge it was now full and the cupboard too. I sighed heavily as I gathered everything that I was going to need. I was preparing rice and mince meat. Around 7pm as I was about dish up mom appeared. 

Mom:"Why did you put 3 plates" 

Me:"Siba 3 mos or are we having a visitor?"

Her:"Take that 3rd plate and put it back."

Me:"You not hungry?" 

Mom:"You are the one who will not eat fool!" 

Me:"Mama please Im also hungry I didnt eat the whole day" 

Mom:"Do I look like I care?"  I huffed and took my plate back to the cupboard then I dished up. She was standing right by my side making sure that I dont dish up for myself. When I finished  she took the plates and walked to the lounge while I made my way to my bedroom. I took off my red all star and climbed on the bed. I curled up on my bed and sobbed softly until I fall asleep.  Midnight I was woken up by grumbling of my stomach.  I was starving and my stomach was painful. I got up from the bed  turned the light on that I didnt even know who switched it off coz I remember I left it on. I tip toed to the kitchen through the darkness

"Wanyonyoba" (why are you tip toeing) 

Jesus this woman does she ever sleep. What is she doing in the darkness at this time of the night  

Me:"Uhm...I.. want water" she turned the light on

Mom:"You think you are smart I know you want food"

Me:"Mama please Im starving" 

Mom:"Go back to sleep!" I went to my bedroom tears clouding my vision. I took my scarf in my closet and wrapped it around my stomach tightly then I slid into my blankets fully dressed. They say you dont know life if you have never slept with an empty stomach so what about sleeping on an empty stomach while there's food and you even cooked it. I couldnt fall asleep  I kept turning and tossing until the morning. Around 5:30  I woke up and went to the kitchen. I found mom there sipping on coffee.

Me:"Morning" I said pouring water into the kettle

Mom:"What are you doing?"

Me:"I want to get to school early"

Mom:"You are not going to school until that rubbish on your face is no more" 

Me:"Mama I need to write my exam" 

Mom:"Klazam yokunuka! Leave my sight you make me want to vomit!" I went back to my bedroom. After they  left I went to the kichen hoping maybe the door was not locked but it turned out it was locked. I opened the fridge and found it empty again. I didnt even bother to look in the cupboards. How I wished I had a phone I would have called Azanda. I poured water into the kettle and plugged it. I went to fetch the basin while water was boiling and came back with it. I poured the boiled water into the basin and mixed it with cold water until it became warm then I carried the basin and walked to my bedroom to have a bath. In the middle of my bath I heard some noise in the house. 

Me:"Lee is that you?" I screamed but there was no response. I carried on bathing probaly my ears were playing tricks with me.  Suddenly my door swung open entered an unfamiliar man in his late thirties then he locked the door.

Me:"Who are you?" I jumped out of the water and wrapped my body with a towel

Him:"Hello"

Me:"I said who are you and how did you get the key" I asked with a tremelous voice. The was something creepy about this stranger. 

Him:"Im your mom's friend" 

Me:"Mom is not here"

Him:"She is the one that sent me to you my dear. Im here to take care of you" He said walking towards me l walked  backwards until I couldnt anymore because of the wall that blocked me. I was so terrified my heart was beating fast. "You and I are going to have fun" He sucked her bottom lip his eyes roaming all over me making me feel uncomfortable. He neared me and pressed me against the wall and touched my private part. 

Me:"Please dont hurt me" Tears formed in my eyes. My lower lip was shivering.  He lifted me up like I weigh 0.0kg and threw me on my bed 

Me:"Help!!" I screamed loudly

Him:"Shut up!" He yelled

Me:"Please I'm begging you dont hurt me" I sobbed. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his huge manhood "Im sorry for screaming please dont..." He pressed his hand against my mouth and went on top of me going between my thighs. He shoved his magic stick inside my fanny. I cried that was the excruciating pain that I have experienced in my life. He moved back and and forth roughly on top of me. His breathing  escalating as he was going deeper. I felt the walls of my vagina cracking. I pushed him but he was too heavy and strong. I couldnt protect myself  it was already late he was already  inside  pounding me so hard like I don't feel any pain. My tears could stop rolling down my face. Why? What have I done to her? Why does she hate me so much? Isnt she suppose to protect me? I couldnt fathom out how can my own mother do that to me.


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Write your opinion

Judith Musariri 2019-03-08 21:43:15

Girl this woman is not ur mother