“Ohw you’re back” I jump up in fright
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you. What are you doing there” Mom says as her footsteps nears towards me. I actually don’t know what to say to her and I’m a stuttering mess
“Mira what are you reading there” I don’t think telling mom about this document is a good idea especially after I’ve just realized that she has no intention of leaving dad and besides this could be false.
“Poems!... Yes Gugu gave me some poems to read whenever I miss her” I manage to say I hope she buys it.
“Oh that’s so sweet let me see”
“No!” I shout my mom knows how to read Braille.
“I mean you can’t read mom not before I’ve read them”
“You are absolutely right. I will make your favourite sandwich white bread with butter and peanut butter”
“Thank you mommy you know you are the best mom in the whole world?” This woman has been through a lot she was disowned by her parents when she was very young and pregnant with me at the age of 23 years. She was on the streets alone and pregnant. Even in those difficult circumstances the thought of terminating the pregnancy never came to her mind not even the slightest. Through all of that pain and complications of her pregnancy I’m still the apple of her eyes. Her love for me is beyond imagination and I’m so grateful. It’s time I show my gratitude to her for being the best mother that she is and get her out of this marriage before it’s too late. I don’t know where to start but if this information is true I have to meet the rude guy again and find out his motives and the authenticity of this information.
“Ncooo my baby thank you so much” she plants a peck on my forehead I then stand.
“I will go put these in my bedroom I will read them later”
“Okay baby” I take muffin and make my way to the bedroom. I’m not sure where I can hide this document needs to be somewhre where mom won’t see it. It’s a bit of a mission since she’s the one cleaning my room. Think Mira! Think! Under the bed that’s it! I kneel on the floor and push it under the bed then get up. I hope she won’t find it. I walk back to the kitchen and sit on the chair.
“Here’s your sandwich and glass of juice in front of you” She’s says after placing my food in front of me
“Thanks Mommy dearest” I start eating
“So tell me mom what did you do to dad?”
“What I just want to know. How did you kick his ass? Musa ukungoqa ngama tips okulwa Mama hawu” (Stop being stingy with fighting tips) She laughs
“Oh my innocent miracle. I didn’t kick his ass” She mimics my voice and continues “Your father and I weren’t fighting last night we were making love”
“Mira when people are in relationship they make love or should I say they have sex? At school they taught you about sex right?”
“Of course mom but isn’t sex supposed to be pleasurable not make an old man groan like a wounded animal” she laughs once again.
“It is but you will understand when you are older and in love”
“That won’t happen mom so make me understand” I drink my juice and take a bite of my sandwich.
“Why won’t it happen?”
“Who will fall in love with me the bling girl? I’m too much work mom”
“Baby don’t ever say that again. You are not too much work my baby. No guy would not fall for a gem like you.” Maybe she’s right only future would tell.
“Tell me how did you and dad met”
“I was looking for a job…..” I cut her short
“I mean my biological father mom” I can sense the atmosphere changing. She doesn’t like to talk about dad and I don’t know why. I want to know more about my father and his family.
“I can’t remember”
“How is that possible mom did you ever love him though?”
“How did we get to this topic Mira?” The irritation in her voice is evident.
“You never talk about dad mom. I want to know what kind of man he was. I want to imagine how he looked like. What about his family? Do they even know about me?”
“Mira let the dead Rest in Peace please my child”
“Ay maan Mira!!!” I jump a bit with fright. I don’t understand why every time we talk about dad she becomes ballistic. The rest of the day she’s not talking to me so I let her be and listen to music on my phone while singing along. At 7pm we eat supper while listening to dad going on about how his day was at work. Boring if you ask me. After supper and helping mom with dishes we go to our separate rooms to sleep. I can’t sleep my mind can’t seem to stop thinking about the rude guy and the information he gave me. What are his motives and why me? What does he know about me? I’m disturbed by my ringing phone so I take it and answer it.
“Hey chomee” Gugu says on the other side of the line with a hoarse voice. Oh my poor friend she was crying.
“Hey are you okay” I’m not asking because I’m dumb I can hear that she’s not okay but I need confirmation.
“I will be fine my friend” she breathes out loudly and continues “I was just informing you that we arrived safely and I miss you so much”
“I miss you too chomee...I’m sorry once again about Ricky”
“Gosh I miss him Mira. I wish he can answer his phone” Her voice is breaking shame man I wish there was something I can do to make her feel better.
“Forget about him chomee he’s not worth it. You will find someone there” she chuckles
“It doesn’t work like that Mira you can’t tell your heart to forget and stop loving someone” oh well what do I know about that kind of love.
“It’s okay I understand...usale kanjani?”
“I met the rude boy again and he was rude once again”
“Bastard what did he say? You should have whip his ass with muffin wena my friend” I laugh
“Next time I should do just that”
“Yes don’t let him walk all over you nx! He’s such a waste yaz.” We continue and chat until she runs out of airtime.
The next day I wake up feeling morose for no reason what am I saying of course there’s a reason why I’m feeling down. In fact there’s more than one reason. My stepdad is abusing my mom and she doesn’t want to leave him. She’s enduring all this pain for us to have a better life. My one and only friend just relocated and I’m here alone now with no one to hang out with. My peers are busy with registration in universities and colleges but here I am consumed with fear of starting college and having to meet new people. Mom doesn’t want to talk about my father or at least show me his family. I feel like she’s hiding something from me. Then there’s the mysterious rude guy who gave me documents that carry heavy information of which I’m not sure it’s authentic or false. All these things are sucking out the life in me. I feel like I’m slowly but surely drowning.
I drag myself out of bed and take muffin before heading to the bathroom. I don’t even have strength to sing today. I’m emotionally drained once I’m done with my hygiene process I get dressed in a yellow summer short dress and sandals. I make my way to the kitchen and it’s seems as if there’s no one. Just then her heavenly scent fills my nostrils.
“Morning baby” she says cheerfully okay she’s no longer mad at me.
“Morning Mom” I say
“You sound down what’s wrong” I shrug my shoulders how can she ask me that everything is wrong.
“Well your father is taking us out for breakfast and some shopping. I hope that will cheer you up”
“I hope so too”
“Are my favourite girls ready?”
“Yes we are right baby” mom says
With that said we make our way to the car and minutes later the car is moving. We start at Mug and Bean first. Doing shopping is always therapeutic I’m now smiling and having fun with my mom as we change one outfit after the other in the fitting rooms and dad is complaining as always. Oh how wish I can see how beautiful we are I’m enjoying nonetheless. We spend almost the whole day at the mall and by the time we finish I’m so exhausted. We arrive at home and chill in the lounge just chatting.
“Still you haven’t decided what are you going to study Princess” my stepdad ask
“You need to make up your mind Mira time is not waiting for you”
“I’m taking a gap year”
“Gap year for what you don’t need that” He says
“Gosh Dad stop pressuring me okay!”
“You are raising your voice now Mira!” Mom shouts I get up “Where are you going your father is still talking to you”
“This conversation is suffocating me I’m going to get some fresh air” I head out and take a walk as I’m walking I can hear a car coming behind me until it parks next to me.
“Doll face get in the car” my ears recognizes his voice and my heart skips two beats.
“Greeting would have been better” I’m amazed at how I manage to speak without stuttering
“Get in the car” I ignore him and continue with my walk.
“Don’t make me carry you inside this car Doll face” what does this guy want from me.
“Stubborn huh I’m coming” I hear the car door opening and closing then his scent fills my nostrils as his footsteps nears me. My heart is galloping and my knees are so weak. What is happening to me? Why does he makes me feel like this? With a move that surprises me he picks me up bridal style I wiggle myself and scream
“Shut the fuck up!” He roars in my ear sending chills down my spine.
“Behave!” I feel his hand buckling me up and seconds late he get on the driver seat.
“Please don’t kill me I’m begging you” I say with a teary voice
“Relax I’m not a murderer “The car starts moving
“Where are you taking me to” He doesn’t say anything. I pray within myself for my safety trembling in fear.
“We are here” I feel the car stopping then the door opens.
“Come” I fiddle for muffin but he stops me
“You won’t need that come” He takes my hand and help me out of the car. I thought he will let go of my hand but he doesn’t.
“Where are we?” I try to focus and listen to my surroundings. There are people and trees around I can tell by their silent sound they are making.
“There are trees in this place right” I say allowing my senses to observe this place.
“Yes how do you know” He sounds surprised
“Everything make a sound you just got to listen attentively”
“Mmm...We are in the park.” The last time I was in a park was 2 years ago When dad was this sweet daddy not the abusive dad. He use to take me here a lot and we would have fun.
“Let’s go play swing”
“Mira awungisindi mina you want me to carry you in front of these people” somehow I just know he would do that without hesitation so we walk wherever the swing is
“But I’m really scared what if I fall” I ask panicking
”I got you” He lifts me up and I wrap my legs on his waist then he sits down. He sits on which I assume is a swing and I straddles him
“Hold me you won’t fall” He starts to swing I’m so scared but the more he swings the more I relax and enjoy myself until he stops
“How was it?”
“Amazing and I enjoyed myself”
“I knew you would swing has always been my favourite” He gets up with me and put me down then proceeds to take my hand and we head to the benches where we sit down.
“Who are you and why did you give me that information”
“For you to know what kind of a monster are you and your mom dealing with”
“But why and how do you know me? Is everything there true?”
“I don’t understand who are you and what do you want from us?”
“I want to help you and your mom Mira”
“How do you know my dad does he have something on you? Why would you have such information about him?”
“Who doesn’t know Mr Khumalo Doll face? He’s well known”
“But still I don’t buy your story” I am not convinced about all of this.
“I’m not selling and whether you wipe your ass with those documents or blow your nose I don’t care”
“Do you have to be so rude?”
“I’m not rude!” He say
“You are rude!”
“Nx you know what bitch whatever! I’m leaving!”
“You can’t leave me here you brought me here!”
“Do you think I care?”
“Tell me which park this is I will find my way!”
“Bye! I don’t have time to babysit a blind insolent bitch!” Tears welled up in my eyes as I break into millions pieces. He groans I’m not sure in frustrations or pain
“I’m sorry...gosh I’m so sorry” He wipes my tears
“I didn’t mean to hurt you I’m a jerk please forgive me” I can’t tell if he’s faking it or not
“Please tell me which park is this” I whisper
“Ngiyaxolisa Mira I will you take home” I shake my head no as tears fall down my face
“Please let me take you home. I’m very sorry” I feel his arms enveloping my body. His arms are so welcoming and for some odd reason I don’t want him to let me go. I hold him for dear life around his waist and that’s when I get to feel the structure of his body.
“Ngiyaxolisa Mashwabada” (I’m sorry) He knows even my clan but I know nothing about him not even his name.
“I’m going to take you home okay” I nod as I sniff hard taking all his intoxicating divine scent. He pulls me back and scoops me up in his arms. I must say for a skinny guy he has energy. He put me in his car I assume and buckle me up then go to his side I presume. We fall into comfortable silence until the car stops moving.
“We are here now...I’m sorry” I nod and fiddle for the door holder
“Wait I will open it for you” I hear his door opening and closing then he opens mine. He help me out.
“Thank you you are not going to tell me your name”
“What’s the use we not going to see each other again”
“Oh” I don’t know why I’m hurt by this. I mean I don’t know this guy and he just said heart-breaking stuff to me minutes ago.
“Yes I don’t think you want to see me again I’m an total ass” yes you are but I’d could do with your company
“Okay you owe me your name at least”
“Beautiful name for an arrogant rude ass like you” he chuckles
“I’m sorry Doll face”
“Bye Lwenkosi” I make my way inside the house.
“Good you are back! Where did you get this information I found under your bed Mira!!” Oh No
“You were going through my stuff now”
“Going through your stuff my foot! I clean that room of course I will touch everything. Mira when would you stop this huh! Are you planning to send your father to jail?!” She’s fuming with anger
“Yes….” she cuts me off
“The nerve you have to say that what happened to the things he has done for us huh! Who is going to take care of us if he goes to jail?”
“We will sell this house and buy a small house that will be enough for both of us mom. Maybe you can start a small fast food business!!”
“You are so naive you little child! It’s not as easy as you say! This house is his in name and what he would do is kill you if he found out you digging his dirt yini ungenwe yini huh!”
“What about his ex-wife? He lied to us Mama he said she died out of cancer Kanti he killed her and buried her! Is that what you want him to do to you huh!!?” I feel a hot stinging sensation on my face and tear escape my eye. I can’t believe she just slapped me.
“Baby…” She tries to hold my hand but I yanks it away and make my way to my bedroom then lock the door
“Mira I’m sorry my child” She says on the other side of the room. I walk to my bed and crawl on it then cry my lungs out. My phone rings I ignore it but whoever is calling is very persistent
“Hello” I say with my crying voice
“Doll face I’m sorry please don’t cry” I’m choking on my tears I can’t tell him that I’m not crying because of what he said I’m over it so I let him apologize and plead with me each word from his mouth is soothing my heart and I feel my anger dissipating.