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BEFORE THE END


Insert 3 


Excuse any errors 

---Ntante Kgomo---


I was looking up at the magazine I've just finished reading...I tossed it aside and stood up  to sit on the couch in my office loosening up my tie a bit


My eyes didn't fool me..Sechaba has been listed as one of youngest millionaires in the Forbes magazine..it's started there that he has worked hard for his money..has the largest logistic company and properties all over the world


I've tried by all means to ignore the fact that we have not been talking for years..I've acted that all is cool...pretended to be ok but truth of the matter is that i wish me and him can make amends...out of all my son's..he's the first born..the strongest I wish to live my legacy to.


Kgosi argh I dont know what is wrong with him and I could tell that no matter how hard i push him to be the man I want him to be he will never...he's way too soft and his head all over the place..Thato is still young to understand the world of business..


I regret abusing my son..I wish I could get a chance to at least explain the reason why I  did what I did


I wish I  could turn back the clock and reverse time and do things better..but I guess its too late...


Now my best bet is that he makes it to Kgosi's wedding..maybe just maybe then we could  talk...I hope we fix things before I leave this world.


----Sechaba ---


It was one of the hectic day at work..my phone has been ringing non stop...Journalists requesting an interview about my riches


I hate this..I don't wanna attract unnecessary attention...I heard a knock and looked up...Thabi walked in


She has been gone for two weeks and I must say her gap is noticeable..besides her being my sex buddy..she does her job perfectly 


She smiled briefly before sitting down..she seems a bit off...


Thabi: hey


Me: hey..welcome back


Thabi: I guess that was the case...u good ?


Me: not really..I'm going crazy..please tell me that u  are coming back?


Thabi: uhmm askies..I am actually here to hand over my resignation letter..


Me: whoaah Thabi why?


Thabi: let's just  say..I've  fixed things with my Baby daddy and he want us to get married so yeah...


Me : slow down..u have a baby?


Thabi: yes..she's 5


Me: oh wow..and u never mentioned it..anyways its cool I guess..I will miss u


Thabi: I will miss u too Sechaba  and I wish u  nothing but the best in life..u derseve the best..good woman and love too...u just need to take it easy ok?


I shook my head smiling and stood up  to hug her..I never thought I will be emotional to loose her..I've always thought she was going to be around...


Me: take care of yourself and don't hesitate to contact me with anything..I mean with anything should u need help ok?


Thabi: I will keep that in mind...let me go pack then...


Me: alright...


Thabi:I did love u Sechaba...and somehow I thought u and me were gonna have a relationship but I realised that in wasting my time..u are not there..and probably not going to be there anytime soon and I'm not getting any younger..I hope by the time u meet the woman u love..u will be ready..and u will open up to her about what's been bothering u


She kissed my lips really deep and left the office...I  went to the window to get some fresh air...wow I  didn't know how to feel about all of this


I called HR and informed them to get me a new P.A. asap


---KGOSI---


I was laying on the couch smoking like crazy..this is what I do when stressed out..I smoke a lot


The house was filled  up with a smoke...then I heard a door being opened...I quickly sat up blowing away the smoke...Sechaba will kick my balls if he found me smoking in his house..


Luckily it was Thabi...she smiled 


Thabi:u still around?


Kgosi : yep..and u are back?


She sat down putting her bag down


Thabi: to get my things..I'm moving out


Me:ouch why? 


Thabi: well because Me and your brother ain't working out..I mean all over the years I spent with him I thought I could  make him understand and see me as the woman of his Dreams but it has always about sex..at first I was cool with it. .but as time goes by I wanted more...


Me: wow..I'm so sorry to hear this..u know I was really hoping that Sechaba has finally found a chance to be in love..I mean u guys did look happy 


Thabi: siyafanelana neh? I know just that hes not there...and I'm done forcing things...


Me: I wish I had so much courage as you. ..


Thabi: why what is wrong?


Me: promise u won't judge me?


Thabi :never...


Me:  ok I am in love with someone else...and on the other hand I'm bethrode to someone else...


Thabi: interesting...


Me: its not..really it is not...


Thabi: I don't see what is 4th problem here..tell your dad u have someone u love and move on...


Kgosi: I wish I could...but truth is..that someone I love is...eix. ..it's a he...


I said looking down..I expected her to go mad or scream at me..but she looked  calm


Thabi: I suspected u know..just that i shoved the thought away.. I mean from how u dressed..the earrings..neatness...u are too cute to be straight 


I hit her on the arm she giggled standing up


Thabi : honey..tell the poor girl..don't drag her to a love less marriage..tell her and deal with the consequences later 


Let me go pack...


She blew me kisses and went upstairs..she's right...I took my car keys and went to see Thando..its high Time I end this nonsense...


---THANDO---


It was around 6pm when my phone rang and it was Kgosi...at first i hesitated to answer it because I don't know what is wrong with him...he's been very distant with me..and he's been on my mind the whole time..I can't get him off my mind...I don't know if I'm falling for him or what...his cute self drives me crazy


We are done with exams and Nazo has gone back home..I'm still around..dragging my feet to go home...I'm not ready for this arranged thing


He calls again and I decide to answer


Me:Kgosi 


Kgosi: can I see u?


Me: where are u?


Kgosi: outside your school gate...


Me:come up I'm all alone


Kgosi : ok


He hangs up and I quickly get up and fix myself..Im wearing my black  short dress with no panty and bra...I love doing this especially since I'm still pure


I was ready in two minutes when I heard a knock on the door I knew it was him


I opened up..he looks so damn hot and yummy..like he sends shivers to my spine..he drives me crazy... 


Me: hi


Kgosi: hey


We hugged a bit..he smells devine 


Me: can I offer u anything to drink?


Kgosi: no..I'm just here to talk..sit down


Ok sounds serious..I sit down..he looks down a bit...then raise his head to look at me .tears form in his eyes


Kgosi : Thando I'm sorry...


Me: what is wrong Kgosi?


Kgosi: I can't..I mean I cannot continue with this marriage thing...


My heat beated faster..Kgosi can't do Me like that...I'm starting to fall for him..


Me : but why?


Kgosi: its just won't be right...


Me: Kgosi..I'm sure u can  do better than that...


Kgosi: truth of the matter Thando is that I've never been attracted to u...at least not in that way...


I stood up pacing up and down scratching my head..no Kgosi can't do me like this..I love him..Me and him can work..we will learn to love one another...


Me:so I'm not attractive or fit enough to be your wife? Is that what u are saying? 


I was half shouting and breathing high..I don't know was I was this nervous ..he stood up and held my hand a bit rough...


Kgosi: why are u shouting? 


Me: sorry..I'm just trying to understand why  u don't want me..


Kgosi: because I'm  gay dammit! Yes I've said it! I'm gay! I love other men..Me and you will never be happy Thando 


I gasped at that...I felt a sharp pain In my heart...tears betrayed me..to say I was shocked will be an understatement...I expected him to tell me hes rejecting me for another woman..but now he's saying for another man


Me: (scratchy voice) u are lying..I don't believe u


He pulled me closer to him..our faces were so close together. .I was feeling his breath 


Kgosi : don't fight this Thando..just let it go..please..it is for the best


With that i kissed him..I don't know what came over me but I deepened the kiss and he responded 


Within few minutes our clothes were flying around the house and he was on top of me...


Him being big down there didn't help the fact that it Is my first time doing this..but he was gentle...he broke my virginity..lot of emotions were involved when we both climaxed


After the intense hot round we both lay naked feeling hot down there and trying to process what he said...he cant be gay...what we just did now proves he's not...


Me: Kgosi were u joking right?


He looked at me deep in the eyes and kissed  my forehead 


Kgosi: I was serious..I'm sorry I allowed emotions to take over but  THANDO I'm serious...I can't be with u


I felt something piercing me through my heart


Me:get out 


I said softly sniffing 


Kgosi: Thando look..


I picked up a pillow and hit him


Me: get out Kgosi..get the hell out...


I was now crying... he jumped up and held me by my hands to cool me down..I was fighting kicking and stuff but he pressed me down till I gave  in


I don't know how I fell asleep but I woke up he was not around...only a note telling me how sorry he was


I checked the time it was after midnight..I got off from the bed and saw a little bit of blood from the sheets..I knelt down and prayed..I didn't even had enough words to utter...this was not how I planned to loose my virginity 


I dragged myself to the bathroom and cried a whole three hours in water...


I got out with a pounding headache and called Nazo..it was now 3 am in the morning 


Nazo being my only friend and sister..she listened to me venting and contorted and told me to go home..that way i will forget about Kgosi 


I didn't sleep..I packed everything of mine here hoping never to come back...


By 6 am I left to park station for a bus home..I switched off my phone because Kgosi was texting me as if I'm crazy...


---KGOSI---


I couldn't sleep the whole night. .I was busy tossing and cursing...why did I allowed myself to be this weak..? Why did I sleep with her? Poor child was a virgin now this!! 


Damn u Kgosi...I looked over at my phone its 5 am already..I can't sleep...let me go take  a swim maybe I will cool down


I swimmed  and indeed the water cooled me down..it was now 7 am..I got out of the water and wrapped the towel going back to the house...


Sechaba  is home today...he doesn't do weekends..he spends them home sleeping or gyming..I walked to the kitchen and found him making a sandwich..I miss Thabi already 


Sechaba : are u trying to catch flue? Why would u swear so early in the morning 


Me: come Sechaba..it's summer and 7 in the morning 


Sechaba : u are acting weird...what is exactly bothering u?


I may as well tell him because he will find out eventually..I told him..he didn't look surprised


Me: u not going to shout at Me on how much I'm a curse?


Sechaba : why would I? I mean growing up I've always noticed that u are strange...always with your mother either cooking or baking


Remember the other day u were 15 I found  u painting your nails with moms nail polish


We laughed at  that..the lie I told...


Sechaba: so is this the reason why dad is pushing u to get married?


Me: yes..he caught me red handed with Katlego in bed at my house...dude he flipped and beated the shit out of us


Sechaba laughed his lungs out..he nearly chocked on his sandwich


Me: mxm u are laughing?  Dude katlego was flip mad..


Sechaba : sorry broe for laughing just that this whole shit is fun..I can imagine y'all running around naked with him whopping your asses 


He laughed again..i clicked my tongue leaving him to cool down coz right now he's not stable 


I got to my room and found a message from Katlego it read " since u are not able to make up your mind  about  what u want

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Thabi: well because Me and your brother ain't working out..I mean all over the years I spent with him I thought I could  make him understand and see me as the woman of his Dreams but it has always about sex..at first I was cool with it. .but as time goes by I wanted more...


Me: wow..I'm so sorry to hear this..u know I was really hoping that Sechaba has finally found a chance to be in love..I mean u guys did look happy 


Thabi: siyafanelana neh? I know just that hes not there...and I'm done forcing things...


Me: I wish I had so much courage as you. ..


Thabi: why what is wrong?


Me: promise u won't judge me?


Thabi :never...


Me:  ok I am in love with someone else...and on the other hand I'm bethrode to someone else...


Thabi: interesting...


Me: its not..really it is not...


Thabi: I don't see what is 4th problem here..tell your dad u have someone u love and move on...


Kgosi: I wish I could...but truth is..that someone I love is...eix. ..it's a he...


I said looking down..I expected her to go mad or scream at me..but she looked  calm


Thabi: I suspected u know..just that i shoved the thought away.. I mean from how u dressed..the earrings..neatness...u are too cute to be straight 


I hit her on the arm she giggled standing up


Thabi : honey..tell the poor girl..don't drag her to a love less marriage..tell her and deal with the consequences later 


Let me go pack...


She blew me kisses and went upstairs..she's right...I took my car keys and went to see Thando..its high Time I end this nonsense...


---THANDO---


It was around 6pm when my phone rang and it was Kgosi...at first i hesitated to answer it because I don't know what is wrong with him...he's been very distant with me..and he's been on my mind the whole time..I can't get him off my mind...I don't know if I'm falling for him or what...his cute self drives me crazy


We are done with exams and Nazo has gone back home..I'm still around..dragging my feet to go home...I'm not ready for this arranged thing


He calls again and I decide to answer


Me:Kgosi 


Kgosi: can I see u?


Me: where are u?


Kgosi: outside your school gate...


Me:come up I'm all alone


Kgosi : ok


He hangs up and I quickly get up and fix myself..Im wearing my black  short dress with no panty and bra...I love doing this especially since I'm still pure


I was ready in two minutes when I heard a knock on the door I knew it was him


I opened up..he looks so damn hot and yummy..like he sends shivers to my spine..he drives me crazy... 


Me: hi


Kgosi: hey


We hugged a bit..he smells devine 


Me: can I offer u anything to drink?


Kgosi: no..I'm just here to talk..sit down


Ok sounds serious..I sit down..he looks down a bit...then raise his head to look at me .tears form in his eyes


Kgosi : Thando I'm sorry...


Me: what is wrong Kgosi?


Kgosi: I can't..I mean I cannot continue with this marriage thing...


My heat beated faster..Kgosi can't do Me like that...I'm starting to fall for him..


Me : but why?


Kgosi: its just won't be right...


Me: Kgosi..I'm sure u can  do better than that...


Kgosi: truth of the matter Thando is that I've never been attracted to u...at least not in that way...


I stood up pacing up and down scratching my head..no Kgosi can't do me like this..I love him..Me and him can work..we will learn to love one another...


Me:so I'm not attractive or fit enough to be your wife? Is that what u are saying? 


I was half shouting and breathing high..I don't know was I was this nervous ..he stood up and held my hand a bit rough...


Kgosi: why are u shouting? 


Me: sorry..I'm just trying to understand why  u don't want me..


Kgosi: because I'm  gay dammit! Yes I've said it! I'm gay! I love other men..Me and you will never be happy Thando 


I gasped at that...I felt a sharp pain In my heart...tears betrayed me..to say I was shocked will be an understatement...I expected him to tell me hes rejecting me for another woman..but now he's saying for another man


Me: (scratchy voice) u are lying..I don't believe u


He pulled me closer to him..our faces were so close together. .I was feeling his breath 


Kgosi : don't fight this Thando..just let it go..please..it is for the best


With that i kissed him..I don't know what came over me but I deepened the kiss and he responded 


Within few minutes our clothes were flying around the house and he was on top of me...


Him being big down there didn't help the fact that it Is my first time doing this..but he was gentle...he broke my virginity..lot of emotions were involved when we both climaxed


After the intense hot round we both lay naked feeling hot down there and trying to process what he said...he cant be gay...what we just did now proves he's not...


Me: Kgosi were u joking right?


He looked at me deep in the eyes and kissed  my forehead 


Kgosi: I was serious..I'm sorry I allowed emotions to take over but  THANDO I'm serious...I can't be with u


I felt something piercing me through my heart


Me:get out 


I said softly sniffing 


Kgosi: Thando look..


I picked up a pillow and hit him


Me: get out Kgosi..get the hell out...


I was now crying... he jumped up and held me by my hands to cool me down..I was fighting kicking and stuff but he pressed me down till I gave  in


I don't know how I fell asleep but I woke up he was not around...only a note telling me how sorry he was


I checked the time it was after midnight..I got off from the bed and saw a little bit of blood from the sheets..I knelt down and prayed..I didn't even had enough words to utter...this was not how I planned to loose my virginity 


I dragged myself to the bathroom and cried a whole three hours in water...


I got out with a pounding headache and called Nazo..it was now 3 am in the morning 


Nazo being my only friend and sister..she listened to me venting and contorted and told me to go home..that way i will forget about Kgosi 


I didn't sleep..I packed everything of mine here hoping never to come back...


By 6 am I left to park station for a bus home..I switched off my phone because Kgosi was texting me as if I'm crazy...


---KGOSI---


I couldn't sleep the whole night. .I was busy tossing and cursing...why did I allowed myself to be this weak..? Why did I sleep with her? Poor child was a virgin now this!! 


Damn u Kgosi...I looked over at my phone its 5 am already..I can't sleep...let me go take  a swim maybe I will cool down


I swimmed  and indeed the water cooled me down..it was now 7 am..I got out of the water and wrapped the towel going back to the house...


Sechaba  is home today...he doesn't do weekends..he spends them home sleeping or gyming..I walked to the kitchen and found him making a sandwich..I miss Thabi already 


Sechaba : are u trying to catch flue? Why would u swear so early in the morning 


Me: come Sechaba..it's summer and 7 in the morning 


Sechaba : u are acting weird...what is exactly bothering u?


I may as well tell him because he will find out eventually..I told him..he didn't look surprised


Me: u not going to shout at Me on how much I'm a curse?


Sechaba : why would I? I mean growing up I've always noticed that u are strange...always with your mother either cooking or baking


Remember the other day u were 15 I found  u painting your nails with moms nail polish


We laughed at  that..the lie I told...


Sechaba: so is this the reason why dad is pushing u to get married?


Me: yes..he caught me red handed with Katlego in bed at my house...dude he flipped and beated the shit out of us


Sechaba laughed his lungs out..he nearly chocked on his sandwich


Me: mxm u are laughing?  Dude katlego was flip mad..


Sechaba : sorry broe for laughing just that this whole shit is fun..I can imagine y'all running around naked with him whopping your asses 


He laughed again..i clicked my tongue leaving him to cool down coz right now he's not stable 


I got to my room and found a message from Katlego it read " since u are not able to make up your mind  about  what u want  I've decided to leave  the county...my flight leaves in an hour..goodbye Kgosi  I hope she makes u happy" 


Fuck! He sent the message like an 10 minutes ago..i rushed up to getting dressed and took out the car keys 


Sechaba : and then? Who's dying?


Me: I need to be in the airport...Katlego is leaving me..I can't have that..I need to stop him


Sechaba : whoaah ok let me Drive u there..u can't drive on your state...I don't want to read headlines of your accident...


Me: thanks let's go..we don't have much time...


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