I didn't hate him no I could never. What was I expecting really ? All I want to do is go back home. Did my father benefit from me getting married to Dabula ? No he didn't gain anything but I gained a wonderful family more than mine. I look at the white ceiling and I sigh. My phone rings and I sit up from my bed. I take it out it's MaNdawonde Dabula's mother. I sigh before I answer the phone.
She breaths out and starts chanting the Ngwenya clan names praising them.
“Oh I was worried. When are you coming back ? ” she asks. I don't know.
“I don't know Mah” I didn't want to worry her. I want to go back KwaNongoma and stay there.
“I miss you my child ” she says. I wish she was my mother. I wish my mother was still alive.
“I miss you too” I say
“Let me not keep you then. I will call when I have airtime ” she says
“Ok thank you ” she hangs up.
A knock on the door came. I was staying at the outside room. Just R200 and I am gone back home I don't want to be held here and cause conflict in this house hold. I went to open and it's Afika.
“I want to go home ”
He looks at me.
“You should've told me at the taxi rank ” I say I wouldn't be disappointed.
“I am sorry. I thought it would be wonderful if you see each other ” it's not wonderful not wonderful at all.
“Its not ” I say softly . He fiddles in his pockets and takes out his wallet. He looks through it.
“Eish I don't have cash” he says.
“I will work for it fairly ”
“Work?” he seems confused.
His phone rings and he takes it out.
“Sho Bafo” he frowns again.
“Ngilinde Ngase Pavilion Ngiyeza ( wait for me by Pavilion Mall I am coming )” he hung up.
“I have to go I will be back” I nod and he rushes off. The Madam comes towards me dressed up.
It's a special day today from what I heard her saying yesterday repeatedly. It's the day she meets her in laws for the first time I presume. They are an ok family so she will be fine.
“Yeyi wena. Go and wash my clothes I need them ironed and after you go and cook traditional nonsense for my guests. They will arrive soon ” I nod
“Yes Madam” she turns and walks away. I went back inside the little cottage and wore my shoes. I put my phone away and made my way to the main house.
I check the coast and trying to avoid bumping into him it's clear. I walk up the stairs to the bedroom side. I hear them talking.
“Why don't you let her go ? we can find another one just not this one ” I hear his voice speak.
“No I want this maid. I want her and that's that Ntozakhona.” I hear him sigh.
“Please baby just this once listen to me ”
“Listen to me. Your family is coming I need that thing to prepare ”
“Don't call other people things "
I moved away from the passage and went in the next bathroom. I sat on the toilet I want to go home. I can't stand being here as well I hear a hard knock on the door. I flush the toilet while standing up and I go and wash my hands. I went to open the door and she shoved the basket in my hands.
“Go and wash ”
“Yes Mam” I walk off I went down the stairs to the laundry room.
I put the washing in the sink I can't work this rolling machine so I will wash with my hands. I see alot of her underwear. I feel disgusted and some have blood. No I can't wash that. I push it aside and keep on washing the rest. Underwear is washed everyday by the owner. I can't she will have to forgive me.
I went to hang her washing and look at the beautiful sun I would be sitting under the tree with Ciyela I miss her at the moment. I turn around and I walk inside.
“I don't know a useless maid like you. Instead of starting the pots cook this ” she throws her phone my way and I catch it. I look at the picture. It's steamed bread and tripe.
I nod and give her phone back she takes it.
“You... You will know me ” she says. That makes me want to go home more. I swallow as she walks away.
I walk inside and start with the cooking I added some samp as well to put more food on the plate. I wish by the time everyone arrives it's the time I am leaving.
I start humming a song. I stop with the cooking and I wipe my tears. If my father didn't have any debt with Induna then I wouldn't be here. Why did I seek him in the first place? If Dabula didn't die would I be here ? Maybe No I don't know .
“I am scared” I say softly. He snuck me in his room I thought I was ready. I am ready I am scared to give my all now but I didn't want another man having me first.
“Don't be. Calm down ” he kisses my neck. I liked those kisses they tickled me and created an unknown feeling inside of me .
The flowered dress droped to my feet and my hands went to my perky boobs. He placed his ontop of mine. Removing my hands slowly he turned me around and kissed me.
“I love you ” he whispered.
I knew I loved him as well when I gave myself to him.
I remember everything like it was yesterday.
I discard those thoughts. He is someone fiance. Dabula and I have never had kids He was not fertile that is why we don't have any kids together. I start with the pots on the stove and I sit by the kitchen cleaning where I can get my hands on. I don't want to be shouted at and I am still desperate for money to go back home. Tears fall from my cheeks. I still love him but my love for him won't do anything. I am not about to disrupt another woman's life in that manner. I wipe my tears and carry on.
The pots are doing their thing as I race around the kitchen trying to do my best. I am done ! Good it has been long. I put everything well I look at the clock in the kitchen and it's 12h00. I need to go back to the cottage. It's good that I haven't seen Ntozakhona as yet. I went back to my cottage I took our picture and looked at it before I teared it apart and laid on the bed crying.
I hold onto the sink as I am done washing the dishes my tears have dried up. I wipe my face and I keep on cleaning the sink. I hear the foot steps and feel his presence smell his cologne. I swallow the lump on my throat as I slowly wipe the little drops just distracting myself a bit I don't want to talk because my voice will fail me and I will break down any time soon.
“Maid ! ” It's the madam. I turn around and he is looking at me
“Maid ! ” It's the madam. I turn around and he is looking at me I look away and she walks in. I bow my head.
“Madam” I say. I get a glimpse of him and he has his jaws pressed and tightening them.
“My Underwear you didn't wash it ! I said ...” he holds her hand stopping her from throwing the glass that's in her hand.
“That's enough ! You will not talk to her like that Nelisiwe !”
She bawls her eyes out and she looks at him.
“N..” she tries to talk but he interrupts her
“Go upstairs and do your own laundry ! ” she is angry but walks away clicking her heals. We hear her little scoffs.
I turn around and I take the dishes and he places his hand on my waist and I jump a bit.
“I am sorry” he says.
“Its ok I have work” I walk away from him and went to stack the dishes away.
His presence is still felt. The door bell rings and I leave the dishes
“That must be Nazo ” he says.
Nazo it has been years since I last saw him. I know that he is married and also a minister that I read from the news papers Dabula always came back with from work old and sometimes new as well. His wife is very beautiful yet all the beautiful ladies always have something dark planted in them. I went to open the door and I looked at these people in front of me.
I move out of the way.
“Wow it has been long. What are you doing here ? You guys got back together? Oh this is the love of my life ” he says rather to fast but his eyes glitters when he mentions the lady next to him He hasn't even greeted me but looks like his father more now .
I bow my head.
“Great to meet you ” I say
“Nice to meet you too” She smiles and the lady of the house walks down the stairs.
“Where is my fiance ?” she asks
“Hello to you too” Nazo says.
“Excuse me ” I move away from them and fix my doek and uniform properly.
I open the fridge and take out some beverages. I close the fridge and she is standing next to me. Her eyes red and seems to be ready to attack me.
“He once told me before about you ” she looks at me up and down.
“The only reason I hired you is because I want to make you suffer. ”
“He is not the same man you met at the rurals got it ? I am the one getting married to him ” I nod.
“Go and wash the curtains.” I just washed them yesterday .
She walks away flicking her hair and her heals drilling the floor and making so much sound. I hold onto the counter and tears stream down my cheeks. I held on the love I had for him for 10 years I was married but still love him so much and after my husband's death I came to seek him. What was I expecting ? Him waiting for me and holding on the words he preached to me when I left. “I love you Mphefumulo wami”. I remember him giving me my first ever kiss and touch the man who made me a woman in just one night. The man who I saw a future with but faded away as I sacrificed myself for my family sacrificed my happiness to please them.
I sob softly and I hold onto my chest. I wish I let go of the love I have for him it wouldn't hurt. I wish I could not see him love another woman the way he promised to love me. I wish that I wasn't here. I hear laughter and I wipe my tears. I went to take a peak and there is laughter. He is smiling he kisses her forehead and she leans on his chest. My heart cringes and I run outside the kitchen. I take out my phone as I am sobbing. It rings a few times before she answers.
“I want to come home. I...i”
“Sisi ...” I sob why do matters concerning the heart hurt this much ?
Ciyela talks to me and I feel a bit better after a conversation with her. I hang up and I walk inside. I hear voices and seems more than the ones that were there before. Definitely. Nazo's walks in holding a child in her arms. The child definitely looks like Nazo.
“Hi Where can I find some milk. I need to warm it for this one ” she says. I take the milk out and pot.
“I will warm it ” I say
“Oh Uhm thank you ” she smiles. She is really beautiful.
“You are beautiful” she chuckled lightly.
“I thought my husband was exaggerating. Thank you You are wonderful as well” I smile lightly
“Something wrong ? ” she asks.
“I don't have money to go back home ” I say and she frowns.
“Oh I am coming back” she goes away and I pour the milk in the pot and put it on the stove. I let it heat up.
She comes back and places her son on the counter. He fists his hand and puts it in his mouth.
“No Baby don't do that” she reprimids him.
“Here is some money. Go home I am sure your family needs you” she says while handing some money to me.
“Is it far ?is the money enough” I shake my head and hand it back to her.
“I can't take your money ” I say it's alot.
“No take it. ” she shoves it in my hands.
“You can go against my final word ” she adds.
It's R700 this is too much
“I just needed R200 ” I hand the rest back
“Buy snacks with the rest. ” I nod and go on my knees and now my head.
“Thank you ” she pulls me up.
“Please don't bow and pleasure. Come Baby” she takes her child and I pour the milk for her. She thanks me and walks off. I look at the money. May she be blessed. I washed the pit and put it away.
I went out of the kitchen way and I went to the cottage. I opened the door and got inside. I undressed and got dressed in my black clothes. I did my head wrap properly and put a shoal over my shoulders. I packed my things and I closed my bags. I am done with Durban Nongoma is calling for me now.
I have been standing here for some time. I left the house an hour ago and still no taxi has arrived I look at my phone and it states that I have been standing here for too long. I look left then right before I take my bag and I keep on walking just so I can meet a taxi. I don't know this place but one thing I know is that I want to leave. A car comes to a halt next to me and the window rolls come. I stop walking.
“Hey you seem lost” I am lost.
“Yes where can I find Taxi's here ? ”
“Oh I am not sure. They don't usually come this side. Rarely ” he says. I am defeated.
He takes off his glasses and puts them aside.
“How about I give you lift to town ?” he says.
“You are going to Town ?”. He nods.
“Come hop in ”
I look around and I went around to the passager side. I got inside and closed the door.
“God bless you” I say and he smiles touching my thigh and my dress goes up a bit. I remove his hand from it.
“He has blessed me ”
He starts the car and adjusts his review mirror. I look outside and I see someone running towards the car. He whistles telling it to stop. He arrives at the car and opens the driver's door.
“Cholo get out ” Why is he telling me to do that ?
“She wants to leave so let her ” the guy says
“Yes Afika I want to leave ”
“Voetsek leaving with a stranger who might rape and kill you. Get out Cholo ungangicasuli ! ( Don't piss me off )” he is angry.
“Don't speak to her like ..” he punches the poor guy.
“Afika ! Ok I will get out. ” he spits on the floor and I open the door. I get out and he comes by my side and drags me off. I am holding onto my bags really tightly.
“I want to go home ” I try my luck into him letting me go.
“I am not letting you go after that careless move ”
“I am sorry ” he drags me inside the yard and Ntozakhona is standing by the door.
“I found her in another man's car” I kept quiet. He let go of me and took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it up. Ntozakhona is silent but looking at me I put my suitcase down and I focus on Afika.
“How did you know I left ? ” I ask
“I went to check on you ” Afika says while pulling the smoke he is still angry I can see.
“Who gave you money ?” he asks.
“Nazo's wife "I say.
Afika leaves and we are both standing there. I don't make any eye contact with him he is silent and so am I. After a while he heaves a sigh and I smell his cologne up my nose. It's strong manly and also attracting. His arms wrap around me and I wrap mine around his body. He kisses my forehead.I smile while hugging him a bit more but remove my hands when I remember that he is another woman's man.
“You left me ” he says
“I am sorry” I say. I had no control over it it was either me or my father.
I stand on my toes and I perk his lips softly. He places his hands around my waist.
“She deserves you” I remove myself from his hold and I walk off.