Chapter one


"Weeh Sakhile !! "Nosi was shouting over the fence. 


Some people were looking at us like we are crazy. The police behind us I didn't have the courage and still think we should turn away but Nosi is determined. I have brought up Owami fine these past 3 years though it was a struggle but I did and still think I could without Sakhile's help. The remote gate opened and a car drove out Nosi slipped in and the police followed. I do as well. 

" Nosibusiso asambe ( Nosibusiso let's go )" she was up the stairs now going straight to his flat.  

" Sakhile !! " She shouted gun blazing as she was marching infront.

  She reached his flat number and banged the door like there was no tomorrow. The little amount that Sakhile sent in was enough Nosi says it's not. He should be maintaining his daughter every month what does he think she eats? The door opens and he is in boxers and a woman is behind him wearing close to nothing.  

" skebereshe hambo gqhoka !?( Whore go and get dressed )" Nosi says like she caught her boyfriend with another woman. The whole building is surely hearing her shouting. It can't be missed . 

" Ufunani lah ?( What do you want here ? )" Sakhile looks at Nosi then me he is not pleased to see us.  

" You are under arrest sir ...." 

" What !? " They hand cuff him.  

" Ubuthi ngiyadlala. Angiyena uSlindokuhle mina. Ngizokubophisa uthi u-Owami udlani? ( you thought I was playing I am not Slindokuhle I will get you arrested . What do you think Owami is eating ? )" Nosi shouts as they handcuff him and push him out to the stairs in his boxers. She is still talking.  

" Fokof wena ! " Sakhile says to Nosi. She kicks him on his nuts and he crouches. The police hold her.


" Mam we could get you arrested. " She tries to get of the officer’s grip.  

" Ah fuck ! " 

Sakhile is on his knees crying. " Ngizokushaya mina ( I will hit you )" Nosi says and they drag the both of them down the stairs as I follow . The gate is opened by the security guy and we got out. They throw him inside the van and we are taken to the other police car and we get inside. Nosi clicks her tongue.  

" He ...."she puts her hand up stopping me from talking.  

" You are struggling Slindo. They own taxi's and he changes cars like nothing. Buys thousand of Rands worth of Alcohol bottles ko Cubana and Vogue every weekend but what is his daughter eating ? If he didn't want a child he should've cut of his dick with his balls. Nx I should've done that " I kept quiet. 

She is right. I see it on his Facebook page when he posts buckets and buckets of alcohol yet he doesn't support his daughter I didn't ask to be a mother as well. We were both not ready but this is very unfair the government didn't impregnant me. I struggled more when Owami was still an infant. Nosi would bring some baby stuff by using the money her boyfriend gave to her. It wasn't her duty. It was mine and Sakhile's but she always helped me. Owami knows her father because My family found out that Sakhile is the father. My mother told his father and his father told him to take responsibilities of which he is not doing at the moment.  

The van drives off to Alexandra Police station which is nearby and the police are driving us back home to Sweetwater. Nosi is still breathing fire Her breathing is loud enough for me to hear. I look out of the window I don't regret having my daughter I love her so much. She is my world she brings so much joy in my heart . It's the father that I regret It's what I get for being in a relationship with someone who was 6 years older than me.   

Nosi' s phone rang and she answered. She has a new boyfriend this time. It's the one driving this police car. Yes he is a police man and spoils her and gives her money whenever she wants too. I like him for her He seems serious about her as well. Anything she says it's done He lays his world down just for her but I fear police men. They have a record of killing their women from time to time. So I have heard but he seems genuine.  

" Mngoh ( friend ) " I saw his face relax when she said that and I giggled. He chuckled as well . He looked at me through the review mirror.  

" Angikubingelelanga namhlanje Sisi omncane ( I didn't greet you today little sis )" 

" Sibe matasa. Ninjani ? ( We got busy. How are you ? )" I ask him. 

" Sirite ( we are good )" I nod and his partner next to him talks. 

" Awusho Umam uGym uKarat yini ? ( Is Nosi practicing Karate ? )" I laughed. Nosi hung up and frowned as we laughed 

" Ingane yasekhaya leh. Akudlalelwa kuyo ( This is my little sister. No one messes with her )" she says and I smile at her.

  Her boyfriend passes by Caltex garage and buys some chips with cool drinks and sweets for us. Some for Owami as well and we thank him before he drives us back home. I felt relieved when we reached home and Owami was running outside naked while Gogo was washing in the basin. She looked wet as well I smiled. I love seeing her so happy. The car came to a halt and we both got out. Owami stopped and looked at me for a while she looks just like Sakhile Took his skin colour complexion which is chocolate smooth she smiles and I do the same. Nosi gives her boyfriend a quick perk he raised his hand to me as a sign of good bye. I did the same 

" Ngizobuya sengiletha inkomo ( I will come back when I bring lobola )" I giggled. 

" kubenjalo ( I hope so )" Nosi rolled her eyes.  

" Bye " he says looking down on Nosi and she looks at him. I decided to leave them and Owami ran to me and i crouched catching her in my arms. 

" Sthandwa Sam ( my love ) " I kiss her cheek .

" Mama Ungishiyile ( you left me ) " she played with the straps of my bag. 

" Ngiyaxolisa umama ukuphathele something. Umalume ukuthengelile ( I am sorry Mommy has something . Uncle bought it for you )" I put her down as we reach my grandmother. She stops washing and looks at me. 

" How did it go ? " She asks 

 " He is arrested " she nodded and carried on washing " what does he think Owami eats ? " I shrug. 

" Owami hambo gqoka !!( Owami go and get dressed )" she shouts after running Owami.  

" Come I will dress you " she comes to me and holds my hand.

 We walk inside the house and I go to the bedroom and i put the bag down. I go to the black plastic and rummage inside. I find the clothes These used to be mine when I was young. I smiled and dressed her up and she looked at me God took his time in making my daughter.   

" Mama sompona nini baba ? ( Mommy when will we see daddy ?)" A question I never want to answer. She saw Sakhile twice and now she wants to see him. 

" Akekho nana ( he is not available )" I make her stand on the bed so she can be dressed in shorts. She holds my shoulders 

" Oh Sobuya ampone ? ( He will see me next time ? )" She looked at me. I nodded and got her dressed and kissed her lips. 

“Sobuya ambone u-Owami ubaba (He will see Owami later)" she nodded and she jumped down the bed and ran out. I looked at the direction she ran off and I sighed. I laid on the bed Nosi walked in and put her bag down. 

"Dumisani will fetch us tomorrow He will be in court" I looked at her. I nodded and she sat next to me. 


"Yindaba ? (What's wrong?)" She asks me.   

" uSakhile uzomlimaza uOwami. Umbhekile ( Sakhile will disappoint Owami. She is looking up to him )" I said and she looked at me and touched my thigh.  

"Let him hurt her so she will grow up resenting him for his actions and not what you say or stopping her from knowing her father. Let her know him and let her see his true colours you will always be there for her "I sighed. I nodded she stood up.  

"I am going to make some food" I nodded and she walked out. 

 I laid there It hurts how we are now. I never imagined Sakhile and I taking each other to court because of maintenance I never imagined us not seeing eye to eye. I thought we would still be together now and happy as well. I still love him I never stopped and I try to as much as I can but it’s a feeling that won’t just go away no matter how much I have tried . I sighed and changed my clothes before going to the kitchen to make food with Nosi. She looked at me as I moved to the fridge and opened it . I took out the jam and she took out the bread before she swiftly moved to the kettle and turned it on . She leans against the cupboard and looks at me .

“You Know Slie…“I looked at her and gave her my full attention .

“Yebo “I reply

“Dumi was telling me about his sister she is a manager at Spar in Parklane he said he could talk to her for you.” I smile at her. I feel blessed with Nosi by my side 

“Ngempela?(really ?)”She nodded and I held my breath.

“Just give me your C.V and I will drop it at his office tomorrow “I feel overwhelmed.

“Thank you “she smiles “Ungumzala he said he could talk to her for you.” I smile at her. I feel blessed with Nosi by my side 

“Ngempela?(really ?)”She nodded and I held my breath.

“Just give me your C.V and I will drop it at his office tomorrow “I feel overwhelmed.

“Thank you “she smiles “Ungumzala kumele ngikubhekelele( you are my cousin I need to have your back ).” She has my back way too much the kettle clicks and she turns to it . I start spreading the jam on the bread and I closed the container once I am done she makes the tea and she looks at me .

“Tea or coffee?” She asks 

“Tea please “She nods and Owami walks inside the kitchen and her clothes are off .

“What’s wrong?”I ask her while crouching to her level. She is sniffing indicating that she is crying.

“Uwile odakeni!”My grandmother shouts and I embrace her in my arms 

“Sorry “I rubbed her back. ”Come let’s get you dressed”. 

“She must bath so she won’t play anymore “Nosi says and I nod.”Go and sit with granny “she walks off to the lounge and I watch her sit on the floor . I turned and went to take the kettle then went to refill it with the water in the drum before I went to put it on and waited. 

“Shame nana “Nosi said and I giggled a bit because of the way she said it . “ I will be in the lounge with her “she took the plate with the sandwiches and her tea and walked off. I prepared the water for Owami before calling her to bath once it was ready and warm. I closed the bedroom door once we were inside and I undressed her and took the sunlight bar soap and her towel. 

“Woza Owami (Come Owami )”she came to me and I got her on her knees  

I first washed her face and rinsed it before getting her inside the bathing basin. I washed her thoroughly all through her body . 

“Mama hlungu (mommy it hurts)”fear kicks in a bit. ”Where?” I ask and she points at her elbow and I sigh from relief. She has a scratch there I wash with care as she squirms a bit.

“You will be ok “she nodded and I carried on bathing her. I got her out and wiped her whole body then took Vaseline and I applied it on her body. She looks at me.

“Sazodlala ?(am I going to play ?)” she asks and I shake my head No . She looks disappointed she always plays alone or speak to the neighbour’s child through the fence or she visits . She is not grown enough to go and play with others . I get her dressed and put her down she rushes off. I wipe the wet floor and wash her towel before taking the bathing Basin and go outside . I discard the water 

“Awu weh Slindokuhle !” I look at the direction of where my name is being called . It’s Mam’Zikhali carrying plastics on either side of her hands and a 10Kg of Flour on her head balancing it she stops by the side of the road . 

“Mama Unjani ?(how are you ?)”I politely say . she places the plastics on the ground .”Kuyaphileka yeyi angisakwazi! . usukhule kanje ngane yami (I am good its been so long you have grown )”. I shy smile .

“Yebo “I settle for that response .”kuphi lokhu okuncanyana? ngizwile ukuthi okwakho (where is the little one I heard she is yours )”she says .

“Oh ungaphakathi ( oh she is inside )”I want to go inside now before she says anything else. She can talk the whole day if she wants to .

“Kodwa ugogo wakho ezilungele kanje ngane yami yazi ngaphoxeka ngizwa lezindaba (you disappointed your grandmother when she is this good )”I knew she would say something along those lines .

“Things happen “I try defending myself . 

“Weh Makhi !”my grandmother shouts from behind.

 I turn and she is coming towards us MamZikhali raises her hand up to my grandmother saying “Makhelwane ayisazani !”

My grandmother reaches us .”uyaphila kodwa ?(are you good though ?)”she asks . 

“siyancega noma amadolo engasavumi nje bengisathe shwii ethawini ngiyohhola impesheni bese ngathenga ishebana lezi (we are trying even though our knees are failing us I just went down to town for my pension money and then I went to buy some grocery)”

“Kwaqolo lami alisavumi kuhambe kahle kodwa ?(even my back is not well anymore did it go well ?)”I looked between them .

”nihambe kahle Mah “I say to MamZikhali . 

“Iyobonana ke Slindokuhle “she says and I turn and walk off . I get inside the house and Nosi is feeding Owami . she looks up to me .

“MamZikhali loves news yoh “I say and she gives me a look .

“What did she say ? She always has something to say “she rolls her eyes and makes Owami open her mouth. “she talked about me falling pregnant “she clicks her tongue . 

“Othi ngiyodla ngiyeke oGogo babantu ( let me go and eat and leave people’s grannies)”.I walk to the kitchen and place the bathing Basin by the door and I take my food. I go to the lounge and put it on the coffee table . 

“Cela ungithathele iphone yam”Nosi pleas .


I walk off to our bedroom and I take her phone and mine rings . It’s an unknown number I decide to answer it .


“Slie yazi udlala ngomlilo “

“Sakhile “I say . His breathing is heavy .

“Didn’t I send you money 5 months ago ?”

I am quiet sweating as well his tone rises a bit to the question. He is angry from the sound of it . 

“Khuluma anginaso iskhathi Slie !(Talk I don't have time Slie)”

“Yebo yes you did “

“Manje ngifunani lah?(So what am I doing in here?)”

“ Owami is growing she needs stuff I didn’t make Owami on my own “

“ I did send money when I shouldn’t have done that . I told you I don’t want to be a father Damnit what do you want ?!”

“You are her father meet me half way every month Sakhile that’s what I want ! For you to have a relationship with Owami is what I want “ 

“Nx “ he hangs up after that I look at the phone I feel like crying . I sit on the bed and breathe in and out so I could calm down.

“Hey I heard shouting “ I look up to her . 

“It’s nothing “I get off the bed .

“Don’t let him get to you Nana he has to maintain his seed and water it till it grows “

“I don’t know Nosi I hate what is happening between us “I honestly say .

“It will be ok don’t worry”

I nod “ go eat while I hold my phone for a while “I give her her phone. I walk out after that .

I don’t know how I would handle all of this I look at Owami who is looking at the T.V and I just think of Sakhile I didn’t know me getting pregnant would result in us being here . All I want is for him to be supportive it’s not much even if he comes and sees her for a little bit with fliers only in his hand its fine. I just want my daughter to be loved by both parents . Something I didn’t have while growing up and that is love from both parents . 

“Come here “I place her on my lap and kiss her forehead after I have sat down . I don’t regret going against Sakhile’s wishes .Would I have this beautiful creature in front of me ? I doubt .






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