We are back at it again sitting on the benches inside this hospital. Waiting to be called and figure out what is really wrong with my daughter. I didn’t explain much to my grandmother so I wouldn’t stress her as much. I am also not trying to stress her as well. It’s been a Month of me going to hospitals in and out yet no one could answer what’s wrong with my daughter. I didn’t get the job I couldn’t because my daughter needed someone who would take her to the hospital every time she got called my grandmother couldn’t do it on her own. They would just confuse her and ending in us getting the wrong information I watch as the nurse pushes a very sick patient on a wheel chair. He looks frail and pale as well I wonder what Sickness has him down like that. He looks old as well.
“Yeyi wena Hamba uye emnyango angina ukhala ngelanga !(Hey go outside you were asking for the sun !)”The Nurse scolds the patient who is leaning against the wall being tired from walking she gets to him.
“Angikufakanga lah hamba !( I didn’t bring you here go )”She shushes him into going outside she is impatient with him and surely chose the wrong profession for such behavior . I swallow as I look and feel sorry for the patient.
“OWAMI BHENGU!” I stand up holding Owami’s hand as she does the same. We follow after the Doctor and she closes the door. We sit down and she goes around her desk.
“Yah Owami (Hey Owami)”The Doctor smiles and I do the same as well.
“Niyaphila?(Are you fine ?)”
“Yes we are ok.” Just this up and down matter .She grabs Owami’s file.
“Well sitholile ukuthi yini leh emphethe uNana (Well we have found what is wrong with Nana)”she looked at me.
“After conducting some tests as well we…. We have pinned and stopped at the matter that she has Glioblastoma Multiforme “
“What is that?”
“It’s an aggressive type of Cancer” I am shook I swallow while looking at Owami then back at the Doctor.
“She is young for that “My voice breaks I clear my throat. She shakes her head and takes her Brain scan and looks at it.
“She is it would have been better if it was just a brain tumor or something lighter in Cancer this type of cancer is not good I am afraid.”
I looked at her I want to cry. I looked at Owami.
“Ca...Can you explain further what Glib...”
“Glioblastom as I have said it’s an aggressive type of cancer that starts in the cells called Astrocytes which is there to support your nerve cells. It can form in your brain or Spinal cord which is where your nerves cells are found “
She takes her notepad and pen and starts to write down.
“She has some symptoms Next month she must go Greys Hospital. They deal with Cancer cases. They will help.” I nod
“Thank you “I stand up and she smiles.
“You are welcome.” I walk out while holding Owami’s hand my mind is not here anymore .It’s on the matter that the doctor displayed for me . I am not feeling ok I feel like I am loosing my mind. She pulls my hand and I look down to her as she shyly folds her lips playing with them.
“Wawa”She looks down.
“Cela ships (Can I have chips)”I nod and sighed.
I carry her once we reach the outside I go and buy her some chips and she thanks me I smile at her as I wait from my change from the selling lady. I get my change and I turn around stopping myself from moving an inch from where I am. He is looking at us while leaning against his car with hands buried deep in his pockets I swallow before he moves towards us and his nicotine scent invades my nostrils mixed with his perfume. He stretches his hands to Owami who happily falls into his arms before he looks down on me.
“Slindokuhle” I breathe out.”Sakhile”
“Let’s go” He turns and walks towards his car he opens the door for Owami and get her inside. He closes the door and he turns back to me waiting for me.
I put the money in my bag before walking towards him and he opens the door for me I get inside and he goes around the car to the driver’s side and gets inside. He starts the car and drives off. Silence consumes the whole car I don’t know what to say. I have been telling him about Owami’s Hospital visits and also informed him that I might get what’s going on with her today. I smile Non-of the less because this means he is coming around with being a father to Owami he plays some music and looks at Owami through the review mirror before turning to me and I look away from his eyes.
“You are still beautiful” I blushed off.
“Thank you” He smiled a bit.
“Batheni?” He asks.
I heave a heavy sigh.
“They said she has Cancer” He ran his fingers on his face I am waiting for his response.
“Cancer?” I nod.
“I see” There is silence. ”I am confused”
I am the confused one at the moment.
“Do you know what stage it is?”
“They will tell me when I visit Greys hospital they will give me full feedback as they deal with Cancer”
“I don’t know how to feel about this”
“Me too” He looks at me then back on the road.
His phone rang and he took it out of his pocket and looks at it before switching it off and put it back in his pocket.
“Mama” I look at Owami and she hands the chips over to me and I open them for her before handing it back to her.
“Sobantu?” He asks.
“No Sweetwater” He nods his head his phone rings again and he answers it.
“I am driving sokhuluma(We will talk)” He puts his phone away.
I looked out of the window as he drove we reached Sweetwater soon after. He helped us with a lift today going back home I don’t think my mind would have been in a right state to take a taxi after what I heard. He parks the car in front of the gate and I unbuckle my seat belt.
“Thank you” I say and open the car door.
“Slie” I turned to him. “Can we talk?”
What does he wants us to talk about? I think we have covered everything that concerns Owami.
“Close the door” I did as I am told and look at him in a questioning manner.
He shifts on his seat so he could look at me properly; Owami is asleep leaning on the seat belt for support onto her head. I look back at him and his eyes are still on me he holds my hands into his and I feel fuzzy from that gesture.
“Sakhile” I say he lets out a sigh.
“I am sorry”
“For?” I squint my eyes; I have never expected that from him.
“For everything Owami and us. “
Silence consumes the whole car; I don’t know what to say after his apology.
“It’s ok Sakhile” I smile and he returns the gesture.
“You are wonderful you know” I blushed shying away.
He shifts still locking my hands in his and he looks at them and then lays a kiss on them.
“I love you Nana” He looks at me.”Sakhile” I say softly.
“I love you I never stopped it’s just things got complicated between us
He loves me still I thought he detested me after I birthed Owami after I chose her over him us. He looks genuine I love him too so much and I have never stopped. After 3 years he still did things to me no man can do just by being in his presence. He holds my cheek and leans forward licking his lips while looking at me his face is close to mine and our lips are almost touching. He kisses them and it takes me back to how soft his have always been a dish that you craved even though you are indulging in it. He breaks it off and runs his thumb on my upper lip while smirking a bit.
“I love you too and I am sorry” His eyes are glossy as well a tear drops from it and I wipe it from his face.
“I want you back Slie” His voice is breaking; I sigh and look at Owami.
“She needs both parents”
He is right she needs them both.
“Do you love me?” He asks.
“I do” I have never stopped.
“Ok then” He looks at me.
“I have to go” He nods and perks my lips before I open the door and I get out I go to the back and take Owami.
“Ngizokubona Sthandwa Sam (I will see you my love)”
“Ok”I nod and close the door I feel like smiling a bit but I contain myself. This day is full of surprises I always loved and still love he the first man to touch me in many ways possible that make my body weak. I love him now still; he saw his mistake and is trying to rectify it. I walk inside the yard and I open the door. The reality of my daughter’s sickness sinks in.
“We are back”
“How did it go?” Nosi asks as she sits up from the couch Gogo stops folding the washing and looks at me I sigh and sit down. Gogo takes Owami from my hands and I just burst into tears.
Nosi comes towards me and engulfs me into a hug I cry on her shoulder as the pain my daughter would go through from all of this.
“Sh...She has cancer” I say
“Awu Nkosi!” My grandmother exclaims. I break free from Nosi’s hold.
“She will be fine” I shake my head.
“I don’t know” I say
“She will be “She says.
I looked at her as we shared a hug once more. I need one at this moment.
A few days passed Owami went to crèche as Normal and we all still haven’t registered her diagnosed with Cancer I explained it to them and my grandmother believed she will be fine through God I hope so as well. Sakhile and I? Well we have talked our differences out and sorted everything out. We are officially back together I don’t see myself without him and he is proving himself in the process he said he will come by and see us when he gets off from the taxi rank; this is the kind of relationship I have been longing for. My grandmother walked in the kitchen while I was cooking Super for later on I have to go and fetch Owami Nosi went away to her boyfriend’s place for some time and I am a bit glad because Sakhile is coming and I don’t want the Squabbling .
“You are always happy these days” Can’t I be happy?
I carry on with what I doing and I open the pots before closing them after I have checked on them.
“Are you dating?”
“Gogo!” I say
“I know these things Slindokuhle” She says
“I have been in love once upon a time”
I giggle and wipe my hands before giving her my full attention.
“Once upon a time”
“Tell me “She says
“I am seeing someone”
“Who is it?”
I clear my throat looking away from her eyes.
“I can’t hear you Slindokuhle”
“Which Sakhile Slie?”Her eyes are squinted and she has her hands on her hips.
“Ubaba ka Owami(Owami’s father)” She clapped her hands.
“Kubobonke abafana abakhona emhlabeni uthatha ulwabishi Slindokuhle!?(Out of all the boys in the world you take that rubbish Slindokuhle?)”
“I am sorry”
“Why? mmmh Why?”
“I love him Gogo so much and now that we are back together it makes me happy. I am happy”
She holds her head looking at me.
“He is coming to see us in the afternoon”
She clapped her hands and walked off” I don’t have any words” that’s all she said. I sighed after she left and went back to my pots. I finished up and then left to go and fetch Owami from the crèche nearby I got there and greeted the care takers.
“How are you?”
“We are well. Owami has been feeling a bit weak. Her speech is a bit slurped as well”
I looked at Owami who was laying on the mattress.
“I am sure she is just tired” I smiled and went to take Owami.
I took her from the mattress and went to take her bag I thank the care givers as I walked off. I looked at my daughter and she looks pale. I kiss her forehead.
“Everything will be ok”
I was telling myself that. I am trying to convince myself that everything will be ok with her. We got home and I walked to my grandmother’s bedroom and laid her there.
“Wawa are you ok?”
She pointed at her head. ”Let me get some water for you”
I walked off and went to the kitchen I got the water for her and my Grandmother walked in from outside.
“She is not feeling well”
“I think she should stop going to crèche till we have some medication to help her”
I nodded and turned
“Slindokuhle I don’t like that boy”
“I hear you”
I walked off to the bedroom I sat on the bed.
“Come and drink some water”
She sits up and comes to drink some water before she lies back on the bed. I look at her close her small eyes. I got off the bed and walked off to the kitchen. My phone rings and I look at it before I answer it.
“Gatseni” I say
“I am outside”
“It’s not the afternoon”
“I got time to come and see you come”
“Ok” I smile and hang up I rushed to the kitchen and placed the cup and walked out. He was standing by his car in tracksuits and a cap that makes him look handsome than ever. I get to him.
“Hey” he pulls me in close to him by my waist and lays a perk on my lips.
“My heart” he says and I smile.
“Umuhle yazi (You are beautiful you know)”I hid myself on his chest.
“Hey look at me”
I lifted my head to look at him.
“I love you”
“I love you too” I looked into his eyes. He turns me around and holds me from behind.
“My grandmother would kill us” I say
“Let’s get inside then” He says I nod in agreement and he opens the door for me. I get inside and he gets in his side.
“Owami is asleep she is not well”
“I will see her another day then”
I nodded. ”When will you visit me?”
“I would love that”
I smiled and we shared a kiss.
A month passed into the date we had to go back to the hospital Sakhile couldn’t come with us as he is going to be held up at the rank so he sent in someone to come and fetch us and he did his name is Zethule. Nice chilled guy you could get in a conversation with him quiet easily and he is more relaxed. We got to the hospital and he said he would wait for us to take us back. That’s saving us a lot on taxi fare.
We walked inside the hospital and we had to do admin before we could precede somewhere else. It was a long que and we had to wait and wait for our turn. I hope they find something on her that they will quickly terminate on my little girl. I brushed her hair as we waited for a few hours while sitting here. My phone rang and It is Sakhile. I answered.
“How’s everything?” He says
“It’s going slow but it’s going” I reply
“Ok I will call later”
“Ok” he hangs up and I get called; we stand up and walk off following the nurse to where ever she is taking us. This is draining honestly as I could say.