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Nobuhle Mthembu Pillay
There was nothing we could do for Claudine. We weren't going to leave our daughter behind just because she has this love we don't understand for her. We didn't go back to the house with Heather. She was going to spend the week with Claudine. After that week ended I was going to see my parents. I had to tell them that I am leaving. I couldn't go with my husband because he had reports to write. So I was going to leave with the boys. Heather was coming back the following day.
Me: Baby please help me. I can't buckle them both at the same time.
Rajiv: Alright.
He stood up and we went to their room. They were on their cots sleeping. They usually sleep everytime after bathing.
Rajiv: They love sleeping. These two.
Me: Tell me about it. I don't even know who they take after.
Rajiv: I bet they take after Heather.
We laughed and we went to buckle them on their seats in my car. Rajiv went back inside the house to take their bags and my bag. I went to take the groceries that I bought for my parents. It wasn't too many things just a few things that they love the most. I bought them in the morning because I didn't want to stop at the malls with the kids. We packed everything in the car.
Rajiv: Don't stay too long. Come back before five.
Me: Really? It's not winter. I can even come back at eight.
Rajiv: Don't even think about it. You'll leave me alone here. How can you say that.
Me: Okay I will come back before five.
Rajiv: That's more like it. I love you Precious. You mean everything to me.
Me: I love you too baby and I will always love you.
He kissed me deeply. I held on to him. We broke the kiss and he kissed my forehead. He opened the door for me. I stepped inside and he closed it.
Rajiv: Drive safe with our babies.
Me: You know I am always keeping it safe.
I started the engine. He waved his hand. I drove off and hooted.
I made it to my parents house safe. Sakhile and Sizwe were home so they assisted me. My kids were still sleeping so we put them in my sister's kids beds. I went to make something for my parents and brothers then I went to the lounge.
Dad: What happened?
Me: What do you mean dad?
Dad: Hope is the only person who visits us. You come here when there is trouble.
Me: That's not true.
Sizwe: Dad is telling the truth.
We all laughed.
Mom: So tell us what happened?
Me: Okay. My husband and I are moving to Cape Town.
Dad: Why?
Me: He got a promotion. He will earn more so that means he'll finally take me to school.
My mom allulated and my brothers blew whistles. They knew how important it was for me to go to school so they were happy for me and I was also happy.
Dad: That means you'll be close to your sister.
Me: Yes I am happy.
Mom: We are happy for you baby.
Sakhile: This calls for celebration. Eyadini or what?
Sizwe: Yeah let's go.
Me: Okay. Let's go.
Dad: Bring back the meat for us.
Us: We will.
Sakhile drove my car and he drove us straight to Eyadini. That place was always vibing. It had the ekasi spirit that I liked. I was having a great time with my brothers. We took some videos and sent them to Philisiwe. I even lost track of time. The time was 17:30 when we headed back home. My husband must have been going crazy by then. And my phone's battery was dead. We arrived at home and mom was shouting at me.
Mom: This was the last time I let you go to that place because everytime you go to that place you just loose control and you forget that you're a wife.
Me: Mom I am sorry. It won't happen again. But we came back with the meat.
Mom: Aysuka man.
My brothers assisted me buckle the kids. They were awake but they were crying.
Me: How will I drive while my kids are crying like this?
Dad: Sakhile drive your sister. You'll come back using a taxi or come back tomorrow.
Me: No this one has been drinking. Sizwe please drive us please. I will be with them and you'll drive.
Sizwe: Alright Sisi.
I said my good-byes to my parents and we left. My kids couldn't stop crying. I just didn't know what to do. They were making me cry too. They cried until they fell asleep.
Sizwe: What was wrong with them?
Me: I don't know. They usually cry like this when their father and I are fighting.
Sizwe: Maybe you will fight. That means I won't sleep in your house.
Me: Come on don't be silly.
He laughed and we continued to have a neutral conversation.
We made it to my house safe. Brandon woke up and started crying all over again.
Me: Please take this one before he wakes up too.
Sizwe: Alright.
He took him. The lights inside the house were off. Maybe my husband was not home. I took Brandon and their bag. I locked my car and followed my brother. He went inside. I turned on the lights after him. My husband was on the couch sleeping. He must have fell asleep while he was watching TV. Because there were biscuits in front of him and a cup of coffee. Brandon was still crying.
Me: Baby we're back.
I put the bag on the couch and I sat on the couch with Brandon. Sizwe came back.
Sizwe: Do you need anything else before I leave?
Me: Yes my bag is in the car and the other baby bag
Sizwe: Alright. Ayi ulala kabi umuntu wakho. Ulala ekhamisile.
Me: Musa ukuphapha.
He laughed and went out. I put Brandon down. I went to Rajiv. I tried to wake him up.
Me: Baby wake up and help me with Brandon. He can't stop crying. I don't know what to do.
He didn't wake up. I shook him but he didn't wake up. He was awfully cold. I called Sizwe. He came inside the house.
Me: He doesn't wake up I don't know what is wrong with him.
Brandon couldn't stop crying. I took my son. Sizwe shook him. I started to get worried. What was wrong with my husband. I took my phone.
Sizwe: Sisi? Nobuhle!
Me: What? I am calling the hospital maybe something is seriously wrong with him.
Sizwe: Your husband is no longer breathing.
Me: What do you mean he's not breathing?
I went closer to him and I tried to touch his pulse. Brandon was crying. He was still in my arms.
Me: No

but he didn't wake up. He was awfully cold. I called Sizwe. He came inside the house.
Me: He doesn't wake up I don't know what is wrong with him.
Brandon couldn't stop crying. I took my son. Sizwe shook him. I started to get worried. What was wrong with my husband. I took my phone.
Sizwe: Sisi? Nobuhle!
Me: What? I am calling the hospital maybe something is seriously wrong with him.
Sizwe: Your husband is no longer breathing.
Me: What do you mean he's not breathing?
I went closer to him and I tried to touch his pulse. Brandon was crying. He was still in my arms.
Me: No we're taking him to the hospital.
Sizwe: Nobuhle he's dead.
Me: NO! MY HUSBAND IS NOT DEAD. HE'S NOT DEAD. RAJIV IS NOT DEAD. He is supposed to stay with us forever right? That what is supposed to happen. How can he die? He can't die. My husband can't be dead.
I cried. I didn't know what to do. My son was crying. My husband was just like a statue. My brother held me tight. I held my son tight. I cried. How was I supposed to live without Rajiv? Why did this happen to me? What have I done to deserve this? Is he really dead or I am having a bad dream.

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