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Alondwe Ndunakazi....
I was in Johannesburg for registration of my 5th year. I was going back home the following day. I was going to spend the night with Thapelo at his apartment. I was supposed to go back home that day but he hijacked me.
Me: You know what you are doing is wrong right?
Thapelo: Well I just want to be with you. The last time I saw you was November. So please all I am asking for is just one night and tomorrow morning you're going back home.
Me: I have to lie to my parents now?
Thapelo: Alondwe please.
I sighed and took out my phone. I called my mom. I knew she was home. She was on home rest for three days. She answered the call.
Mom: Alondwe?
Me: Mama how are you?
Mom: I am alright what's wrong ain't you supposed to be on the plane back home?
Me: Yes but I have to enquire with my bursary holder tomorrow morning then I'll be able to register.
Mom: Really?
Me: Yes. Why are you saying it like that? You don't believe me.
Mom: No I didn't say that. What is the problem?
Me: They haven't cleared my fees for the previous year. So they said I must come back tomorrow morning.
Mom: Oh. Well tell Sphephile yourself. He's here.
Me: Hawu mama he didn't go to school?
Mom: Ah. You want me to stay alone here? Sorry I can't.
Me: Alupheli is there.
Mom: That one doesn't come out of that small classroom gallery of his unless he's on his break or if he wants to eat.
Me: My son will miss out now because of you mom.
Mom: Musa ukuphapha it's just today until you come back. Tomorrow he'll go to school.
Me: Okay. Can I speak to him?
Mom: Here Pepiye. Your mom wants to speak to you.
Everyone was calling him Pepiye because when he was 2 years old he couldn't pronounce his name. He'll say he's Pepiye. So that name went viral. But now he can add the S.
Sphephile: Mama wa Spepiye you're bringing the aeroplane today?
Me: What aeroplane baby?
Sphephile: Spepiye's aeroplane cracked he need another aeroplane. He told his mom and his mom said she'll buy it.
That's how he spoke. He wasn't saying it directly. But he did that when he was speaking to me. I don't know why.
Me: Okay. I will buy it. But mommy is not coming back tonight alright?
Sphephile: Why?
Me: Mom didn't finish doing what is required of her at school. So when you come back from school tomorrow. You'll find your mother home Okay?
Sphephile: Okay. Spepiye's dad is taking Spepiye for the weekend. He will go?
Me: No baby Sphephile won't go. Remember his mother is leaving soon so he must spend more time with her. Sphephile will see his father another weekend.
Sphephile: Sure mama wami. Spepiye thandas you.
Me: I thanda you too baby.
Sphephile: Mncwa.
Me: Mncwa.
Sphephile: Gogo.
My mom must have taken the phone. I spoke to her.
Mom: Please come back tomorrow. And don't tell me you'll need clearance for 1st year debt tomorrow.
Me: Hawu mama.
Mom: Hawu mama wani because you are lying. Your father won't buy this story.
I laughed and said: I love you mom. Dad will because it's true. bye.
Mom: Mxm. I wonder who is making you stay in Johannesburg.
Me: It's the bursary. Mom hawu.
Mom: Okay. Say hi to bursary for me.
I laughed. She hung up the call. I looked at Thapelo.
Me: You made me lie to Sphephile now.
Thapelo: He'll understand. We share you with him akere?
Me: Mxm. Let's go. I don't want to be here now.
He paid and we drove to his apartment. He had a car. He bought it himself.
We arrived at the apartment. I was tired so I just threw myself on the couch.
Me: Chocolate brownie please take off my shoes. I am really tired. I want to take a few minutes nap.
He sat next to my feet and he took off my shoes. He stood up.
Thapelo: You'll need a blanket?
Me: No. You're not done. My bra is too tight please take it off.
He bend over and unbuttoned my shirt. I looked at his face. It was just perfectly shaped smooth and spotless.
Me: Your beard is cute. Why did you start growing it?
Thapelo: So that I can charm you.
I smiled and held his face. He looked at me. We looked at each other for a very long time. My breath quickened. Thapelo and I loved practising the brain or the mind sex before we do the actual intercourse. But we did it Specially when it has been a long time since we saw each other. It helped us reconnect through the mind and our emotions before we can reconnect through our bodies. If one of us didn't crave the other through the mind sex process then you'll know that they are distracted so we'll talk about that first before we can even have sex or make love. I was getting no emotional response from Thapelo and his body was tense. I stopped seducing his mind.
Me: Okay. What's wrong Thapelo? Is there something I should know?
Thapelo: No I am just distracted.
Me: Distracted by what exactly? Your mind isn't reconnecting with mine. I see no emotions beside the fact that you're tense. What is wrong?
Thapelo: Nothing is wrong Alondwe.
I stood up. He tried to hold my hand. I yanked my hand out of his.
Me: When you're ready to tell me what is wrong. You'll talk to me then.
Thapelo: Alondwe?
Me: No! Tsk!
I went to his bedroom. I took off my clothes and I threw myself on the bed. After giving birth I didn't go back to my slim curvy body. I started gaining weight. I was becoming thick like my mom. I didn't like that body the ass and curves? I just didn't feel them. I tried to gym but I wasn't loosing the ass and curves. So I stopped. I didn't like it I just wanted to be slim. But hey life. I have made peace with that though. After all I was Thandeka's daughter. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. It was still early. I went to take a shower. I had clothes in his apartment so I wore my pyjamas and I went to the lounge. He wasn't around. I looked for my phone. I called him and it rang inside the house. I clicked my tongue. I just didn't know what was the meaning of all this. He stopped me from leaving then he doesn't spend time with me? I was really angry. I waited for him but there was no sign of him. The time was 22:00 and he wasn't back. I felt like crying. I went to bed because wherever he was he was having a good time.
In the morning I was woken up by Thapelo. I didn't even hear him come back the previous night. I rubbed my eyes and sat up straight. I was still angry at him.
Me: You think a tray of breakfast will make me forget what happened yesterday and what happened last night.
Thapelo: Well this tray of breakfast is the reason I was destructed.
I laughed sarcastically and said: Really? This is not the first time you made breakfast for me.
Thapelo: Well this one is different. Please.
I sighed and took the tray. It was English breakfast. I took the cup of coffee. Thapelo was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at me. I let him be. I took a teaspoon and I added sugar on my coffee. On the last teaspoon I saw a ring. The ring was on the sugar. I took it and looked at Thapelo. It was a white diamond ring. Thapelo was on his knees.
Thapelo: Ever since I knew that I need to make you my wife. I have been distracted. I didn't know how to ask you. Yesterday I became more nervous. We've been together for Six years now. We've been through a lot and through it all you've shown me nothing but love. I want to love you till Jesus Christ comes back. So Alondwe Samkeliswa Owami Ndunakazi will you marry me?
I looked at him. I was just shocked. Marriage? I am not ready for marriage. How do I tell him without pushing him away?
Thapelo: Please say something.
Me: No.
Those were the quickest words that came out of my mouth. I could see disappointment in his eyes.
Me: Thapelo I -
Thapelo: I get it okay. You said no.
Me: No let me explain. I love you okay I would love to marry you some day but not now. I am still studying and it's too soon.
Thapelo: You're not ready? You're not ready? What will it take for you to be ready?
Me: I am still studying Thapelo.
Thapelo: Oh. So what are you trying to say? I must wait for three years so that you can complete your studies? Three years Alondwe.
Me: It's all I am asking for.
Thapelo: I think you should get ready to leave. At least you'll be ready for that. Yeah leave.
Me: So I should leave now? Are you breaking up with me Thapelo.
Thapelo: I don't know Okay! I am trying to understand why you don't want to marry me. Don't bring up school. Because you were cool with marriage. Nobody can ever be ready for such a change but we were going to do it together. Or is it because I cheated on you that year in varsity.
Me: Thapelo. It's not like that.
Thapelo: It's like what then huh? It's like what? You know what please get ready to leave. Your plane ticket is on that drawer. Travel safe.
Me: Thapelo don't leave like this.
He took his car keys and left. I sighed and cried. Why didn't he understand. It's not that I don't want to marry him. I am just not ready. I ate my breakfast with my tears. I finished up and washed the dishes. I made the bed and cleaned his room. I took a shower and I dressed up. I took my plane ticket. The box of the ring was also there. I took it and put the ring inside the box and I put it in my bag. I then left...

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