All my life I’ve spent it trying to make sure that Yvette doesn’t go through the pain I went through. Be it bullying in school or the abuse we endured by our parent’s hands. Our parents were the best you could ever ask for when Yvette was born it was like the heavens were rejoicing because it was a beautiful sunny day. My sister was 6 and I was 10 she was the best thing to ever happen to me because then I had a friend in her and she had a friend in me. our family was happy and we never had any problems. A few months into the year my dad got a promotion at work he made partner. We were happy and everything was going as it should until one day about a month later from his promotion dad came back in distress after having lost his job because it was found out that he had committed fraud and cost the company millions. We were living off of mom’s salary as a nurse in the local hospital and things were fine but not many men take kindly to being dependent on their wife for everything even toiletries and that’s when things went south. Dad started drinking and he became abusive towards mom at first it was the little things like a slap on the face and then it went from a slap to punches and kicks and from that he started belting her to a point where she would miss work for a whole week. Many would ask why she didn’t leave him the minute he laid a hand on her? I know cause I asked myself the same question but it’s not that easy. Dad was out drinking at the local tavern and mom had packed up all of our clothes and we were ready to hit the road as soon as my sister and I came back from school. My sister was a daddy’s little girl and she didn’t know about the abuse mom and I made sure of it. We had just gotten out of school and we were waiting for mom to come fetch us like she normally did but instead daddy showed up. He looked cleaner than normal.

Him: hello girls

Ivy: daddy

Yvette jumped into daddy’s arms and he welcomed her into a bone crushing hug.

Him: Yola

I just stood there looking at him waiting for me to jump into his arms but I stood my ground

Me: Where’s mummy?

Him: mummy is a little caught up so I thought I should fetch you today

I nodded and he took my hand into his and we headed home while Ivy told him about her day at school. The minute we walked in mom was passed out on the kitchen floor with blood all over her body you could barely recognise her beautiful face. I went to kneel beside and brought my head closer to her nose and she was still breathing.

Me: mummy please wake up

She didn’t respond. I shook her but she still didn’t respond even though she was breathing.

Me: daddy mummy is not waking up. We have to help her

Him: mummy should be more careful next time

I don’t care what age you are but that sounded ridiculous to me because I knew that he was responsible for the state my mother was in. he was still carrying Ivy in his arms but he had buried her face in his neck so as to prevent her from seeing. He took her to the room and then came back to find me still kneeling beside her crying

Me: mummy please don’t leave us.

Him: here. Call the ambulance. I’m going out for a drink

That’s all he said after handing me his phone and walking out on me on that kitchen floor. I couldn’t believe this. This man didn’t care about his wife

the woman he married without a gun to his head the foothold of this family. He just did not care. A week passed and mom was still in hospital and in that week dad would come home with different woman and sometimes he would come home with his drinking friends and they would spend the night in our family home. It was a Sunday and Ivy and I had just gotten back from church dad wasn’t around instead his bestie was in our home drinking our father’s beer. We greeted and Ivy ran to the room to put our things because I knew dad would come home expecting me to have cooked. Yes that is what it had gotten to. I had to learn how to cook or else we would go to bed on an empty stomach.

“you have really beautiful legs”

A voice said from behind me. Fear crept in and my heart started racing. I’ve always been afraid of this particular friend because of the way he would look at me. I don’t know when he got to me but the next thing I remember was him sweating on top of me telling me how tight I was and that I should keep myself that way. when he was done he put a R100 note in my dress pocket and told me that it would be our little secret and to promise to not tell anyone or else he would go after my little sister and kill both my parents. Like any big sister I had to keep Ivy safe and so I washed and kept my mouth shut. The pain between my legs was unbearable but I didn’t want to have my parents killed. Yes maybe my father was a nonsense of a parent but I was only 10 I wasn’t ready to lose my parents just yet. So I kept it to myself. Dad came back from wherever and I had just finished cooking.

Him: why are you walking like that?

Me: I sprained my ankle at church playing skipping with the other kids

He bought it without asking any further questions… because he really didn’t care. I handed him his food and took our plates to our room and Ivy and I ate in silence. After having finished all my chores for the day I went to bed and just let it all out in floods of tears. I cried until I fell asleep.