I stop outside the hospital contemplating going inside. I can't do this without Sebe. I call her and she answers after a while.
"I need you"
I say as soon as she answers
She says sounding defeated
"You haven't left right? I'm on my way to fetch you"
I say not even allowing her to think twice. I've never admitted to needing someone or needing help but I can't do this without Sebe and Mbali's mom will deal. I drive back and there's a car parked in my spot. I walk inside and Sam is there with Sebe.
That's what Sebe calls him anyway
"Hi Gugu. Sebe told me I'm sorry"
"Thank you. Also thank you for bringing her here I'm sorry you had to drop whatever you were doing because of her"
She rolls her eyes at me and we both laugh at her
"She's my friend its no big deal"
He says and I just nod
"Can you leave her? I'll drive her back myself"
I say and he and Sebe exchange looks. I'm guessing he knows.
They say their good byes and we drive to the hospital.
"Gugu we didn't use a condom"
She says sounding worried
"I didn't cum inside you Cuddles but for safety we'll get you the morning after pill. You must be hungry"
I say brushing her hand she smiles. I park in front of the pharmacy and we both get off.
"You look like you're in pain"
I say worried because she's slow and she keeps wincing
"You not small"
She says and I chuckle pulling her to me kissing the side of her head
"I'm sorry Cuddles. It gets better with time"
She eyes me
"I'm never doing that again yuh!"
"Fine then just so you know. You'll be begging me to screw your brains out next time"
I say squeezing her ass and she shoves an elbow at my side
She scolds. We're in the line to the dispenser. We get the pill I buy water and we leave. She drinks it soon as we in.
"We'll get something to eat at the hospital Ok?"
"She and the baby will be fine"
She assures kissing my hand I offer a smile. I'm glad she's here with me.
As soon as we walk in Eric's face tells me how serious the matter is. I walk up to him
"Eric what happened?"
He shrugs his shoulders
"I don't know the doctor hasn't said anything yet. One minute she's sleeping peacefully and the next she's in massive pain. Preeclampsia doesn't make you bleed it shouldn't have made her bleed like that"
I look at him shook
"Mom didn't say anything about her bleeding Eric?"
Its more of a statement than it is a question really.
"I think its Placental Abruption. Its the only explanation there is Gugu"
I look at shocked how?
Sebe asks reminding me of her presence
"Its when the placenta detaches from the uterus. Its caused by pressure being too high or something"
I explain. I once read about it in some textbook at the library.
"But she was fine"
I say turning to Eric he shrugs
"Pregnancies are all different some are better than others"
He says and I just nod. I walk up to our parents Mbali's mom has her face buried in her hands. I can't imagine what she must be going through.
"How are you?"
Dad asks placing a hand on my shoulder. I shrug cause really I don't know. I'm just worried about them.
Dr Mashilo walks up to us after an hour or so.
"Mr and Mrs Cirha"
"Its Ok they family"
Mbali's father says giving her the go-ahead to continue.
"We've managed to stop the bleeding but it was never preeclampsia"
I look up at Eric
"What are you talking about doc?"
"You see the placenta is a structure that develops in the uterus during pregnancy. Placental abruption occurs when the placenta separates from the inner wall of the uterus before birth. Placental abruption can deprive the baby of oxygen and nutrients and cause heavy bleeding in the mother. Hence she started bleeding"
"You've stopped the bleeding so what now?"
Her mother asks
"We need permission to operate on her. Here are the papers you guys need to sign before we can proceed with anything"
She says handing her parents the papers
"What are the chances of this operation being a success?"
My father asks she shrugs
"I don't lie to you its not 100% safe for any of them but its our only choice. Mbali's body rejected the medication we gave and I'm afraid if we give her any her body will keep rejecting it"
Mbali's mom demands handing her the papers
"Save my baby doc"
Her father adds. The doc nods taking the papers and leaving. I look at Eric who nods I guess that means he trusts the operation to work. Sebe and I go at sit down at a back bench
She says rubbing my hand
"Thank you for being here with me Cuddles. I am sorry about earlier"
I say kissing the palm of her hand
I say after feeling her racing palm
"Mostly worried for you"
She says offering a fake smile.
"I want the truth Cuddles"
I demand in a low but stern voice
"We'll talk about it some other time. For now let's focus on Mbali and Bambino"
She says kissing my hand. I allow her to dismiss this one topic. I'm worried she thinks I don't feel the same about her anymore now that we've had sex and she's very wrong to think that because my love for her only grows
"I love you Ok? More than anything"
I say playing with her hand
"I love you too"
She says quietly.
"I should uhhm call Sam"
She says and I nod I don't know why she's calling him but I'm Ok with it. Eric sits next to me
"How are you?"
I ask and he shrugs his shoulders
"I'll be fine as soon as I know they both out of danger"
"I thought she was fine I thought she was happy"
He shakes his head
"Happy is not the word. Mbali knows how to hide her true feelings all to well. All this has been difficult on her. She had to deal with being pregnant when you were in hospital together with breaking up with you to save her child. I'm shocked she made it this far"
He says and let's out a sigh
"She loved you she still does and seeing you with your girlfriend almost everyday while carrying your child breaks her. She's only held on for so long for the sake of Bambino"
He says. I'm shocked by this information
"Did she tell you all of this?"
"Some of it. She needs a break from all of this. Maybe time away from you and her. She's trying too hard to be ok with your relationship. 5 months isn't exactly enough time to get over your first love whom you pregnant by"
He says and I suddenly feel bad like its my fault she's here. I never really thought about how this whole thing would affect her and the baby.
"What can I do? I did what she asked me to?"
I ask defeated he shrugs
"Its not your fault but I know how it feels to need answers and not get them. To try and understand but still fail. I've been there. All you can do for her is give her time and the space she needs"
I shake my head
"That is my baby she is carrying"
"You think I don't know that? If you really care about any of them you will do her this one favour. She needs to heal from everything she's been through this year and that's not happening if you always up in her space"
He says gritting his teeth. He gets up and I notice Sebe coming our way
"She loves you. Don't mess it up"
He says patting my shoulder before walking away. Sebe sits next to me
"Yeah everything is fine"
I say with a fake smile but I know Sebe doesn't buy it at all. She just nods.
It hurts seeing mine hurt like this I wish I could take everything for him. Mbali is worse than I thought and it's so good to see that her man is here to support her means he really loves her. I was surprised though when Gugu came to fetch me though I am happy I can support him. I leave him to call Lesh not that I had to call him but the conversation was forcing me to.
"I'm starting to think you don't want to be there"
He says answering
"I was just giving Gugu some space"
"Did he say he wants space?"
I reply faintly
"Now tell me the truth"
I chuckle sometimes I wonder if I'm such an open book that he can read me like this
"What if things change?"
I say feeling my heart start beating out of pace
"What things? Cheeks be specific"
I look for a bench and sit cause I feel my legs are wobbly
"What if now that we've had sex he won't love me the same? What if he starts withdrawing since he's got every part of me now?"
I say trying to control my breathing
"Sebentile Phetsile Dlamini don't you dare think so negatively you hear me? The guy loves you I've seen it and it's genuine the only thing that will change is him loving you more. Now stop stressing and be there for the guy neh?"
"Promise me cheeks"
I clear my throat
"That's what I want you'll get the pills I'll send someone to being them to you"
He says and I smile
"That's sweet skat but Gugu has bought them already I couldn't keep it to myself I was panicking"
I say and he laughs
"She's so innocent okay I want you to be strong and be there for Gugu"
"Okay I'll do that thanks"
"I love you"
He says and I feel my heart melting
"I more than you"
I say before hanging up. I take a huge breath then go back to Gugu I see Eric walk away when I approach and I wonder what they were talking about. I ask him if everything is fine and I'm not convinced with his answer whatever him and Eric where talking about is huge and I want to know what it is. I lay my head in his shoulder as we wait for an update on Mbali and Bambino I say a small prayer in my heart that they both make it since the doctor said it's risky for either of them. I pray to God to grant Bambino a chance to have parents a mother even I don't want her to feel what I felt growing up without a mother I'm not saying Twana did a bad job no that woman was amazing if I were to chose I'd chose her over and over again but what I mean is that I somehomes wondered how it would be if my mom was there so I don't wish she grows up with that.
Gugu says shaking me I blink my eyes open looks like I fell asleep
"Are you hungry?"
I shake my head no but the stupid something figures it's the perfect time to growl Gugu looks at me with a smirk
"Okay maybe a little"
I say and Gugu chuckles shaking his head
"Let's go to the cafeteria"
He holds my hand and we walk to the cafeteria we walked past Mbali's parents I thought Gugu would let go of my hand but he didn't the inner woman was doing a thuso phala glad to know we aren't being hidden anymore
"What will you have?"
Gugu asks since we looking at the menu
"I don't know anything will be fine"
I say cause I really don't know what I want
He says and I shrug
"I don't have an appetite"
"That's unlike you what's stressing you?"
He says pulling me closer
"Nothing I'm okay just hospitals creep me out"
I say with a smile he looks at me sternly
He says looking away and ordering food his hand still in mine. I know we hold hands almost everytime we together but there's something about how he's holding them today it's like he's telling me I'm here and I won't let go trust me. Our food comes it's spaghetti and mince didn't know hospitals have these. Gugu opens it and starts feeding me
"Do you think they going to make it?"
He asks and I look at him is he having doubts?
"I know they will Mine you can't lose hope now I won't allow you to. Remember God has your back and He wants what good for you everytime"
"How is us sitting in hopstial stressing our heads off good for us?"
He says and he's fuming
"Don't do this don't start questioning God now I won't allow you to. We've come too far for you to start doubting God now babe"
I say and he looks at me shakes hid head then feeds me. After we done we walk back to the others
He says looking at his mom who just shakes her head it's amazing how they all here for their kids.
"We haven't heard anything baby"
His mom says and Gugu nods. She turns to me with a smile
"Sebe are you good?"
"I am ma"
She smiles again she has beautiful teeth
"Come sit next to me"
She says and I look at Gugu who nods
"You didn't have to ask for permission"
She says rolling her eyes and I laugh. She pulls my head to her lap and starts singing to me she has such an angelic voice. On other occasions I would have minded being like this but because I feel she needsit's okay.