I'm not a religious person but I do believe that there's a greater force up there in the sky at least that's what I used to believe until I lost the love of my life while he let it all happen. He orchestrated everything and now she's all gone. Let me tell you a little story about how things went south...
'A little fresh air ain't never hurt nobody'
I think to myself as I make my way out of the house taking a scroll around our quiet neighborhood.
Hillcrest extension is a chilled place I can't imagine living anywhere but here. Just as I'm halfway to the Spar complex my phone rings. Its Philasande So girlfriend. She's 3 months pregnant and we haven't told our parents yet. I roll my eyes answering her call
I say trying hard not to sound as annoyed as I am. She's forever whining and nagging lately. Emotional too. It's too much. She wants us to get rid of it because next year we going to different universities her parents will kill her and also because yena she's not ready. We in Matric that time preparing for trials.
She starts crying. I start to panic I can't handle her tears I don't need the water works
"Baby thetha nam" (baby talk to me)
I plead but its like I've opened a tap cause she wails even harder than before.
"Sthandwa Sam please just tell me what's wrong?"
I ask now rushing to her home which is just opposite the complex I was going too. I get to her home and knock ending the call on her. Her friend opens. Its a Saturday and her parents normally go to the rural areas on weekends as they have farms there and stuff
She says stepping aside. I rush towards Phila's screams. I get to her room and her phone is on the floor with a trail of blood leading to her bathroom. I find her in the shower with blood sitting on the floor under the water crying. I stop in my tracks
Is all I manage to utter
"She did a backdoor abortion and now she won't stop bleeding"
Explains Thuthula her bestfriend that opened the door for me. I'm shook and unable to say anything. I love Phila but this? This is hard to take in.
I'm not a rich kid my family can at least afford and because I like to have my own things I work at Spar after school. I know what you thinking I'm in Matric and its a critical time and all but I manage and my boss is understanding.
"Uthi wenzeni?"(she did what?)
I ask turning to Thuthula. She looks down playing with her hands.
"Call an ambulance!"
I say going in the shower closing the tap. She's crying and it breaks my heart but not more than her aborting our child! She's shivering but this person was sitting under hot water.
"Call a fucking ambulance!"
I yell but her friend shakes her head and so does Phila.
I almost drop her the way I'm so shook!
"If we call an ambulance then they going to want to contact her parents and it will be a big mess. Phila needs to drink some pain meds and sleep"
Says her friend. I chuckle and head to Phila's room and put her on the bed. I'm pissed to the core I'm even breathing fire. I grab her friend by the throat.
"If she dies"
That's all I say to her she's pleading and begging for me to let go. I walk out to the lounge and call a friend of mine who lives in Ncambedlana he goes to WSU and has a polo was a 21st birthday present. I tell him what's going on and he tells me he's on his way. Meantime I dress Phila up just as I finish there's a hooter outside its Khuselo. I pick her up and take her to the car instructing her friend to call her parents and bring Phila's wallet and phone. We drive to st Mary's hospital and tell them what's going on. I give them Phila's medical aid and ID while they attend her. They ask for her parents numbers and we give it to them. I go sit down and bury my face in my hands and cry.
I feel someone brush my back
"Xolo bruh" (sorry dude)
"Ndamcenga bruh. Besthethile ngalewei" (I begged her dude. We spoke about this)
I feel like my problems started on this day. I'm not a perfect guy I grew up avoiding trouble at all costs but the thing with life is that the harder you try avoiding something the easier that something is able to get to you.
I loved Phila but I could never get past what she did and today I blame her for turning me into this person. I'm Gugulezwe Ncenjane and my story begins the day Phila fucked me up. I'm 18 and let's take a ride.
About what I said about a God and not believing? Life humbles you so much that you find yourself turning over a new leaf. And women? Good God those creatures can mess a nigga up.
I actually started being exposed to the cruelty of this world after Gog'Twana's death but I'm glad she prepared me for it. My name is Sebentile Phetsile Dlamini I just turned 17 and I'm not ready for the world kodvwa do I have a choice?