Me: mhmmm smells amazing.

Ms Moisa: (smiles) and its all your heard work.

Me: oh please it was your instructions that helped me. I was only doing what you were telling me.

Ms Moisa: still I am proud of you I actually thought you were worse then this.

Me: now I seriously wish I listened to my mom when he told me used to make me cook. now look at me.

Ms Moisa: that's why my grand mom always told me to never get married unless I know how to cook.

we laughed.

"well its not like knew I would get married" I said to myself as I smiled at her.

Me: Ms Moisa can I leave the last minutes to you? I have to go and prepare myself for dinner.

Ms Moisa: of cause.

Me: thank you.

I ran to my bedroom. 

actually I never shower in the morning its a tiring thing. like imagine waking up everyday around 06:00 to shower just to make breakfast then do chores and get dirty again then around dinner time you have to "prepare" for dinner.

who "prepares" for dinner? what I know is at 19:00 someone has to go and dish up and we eat why prepare?

anyway I use that opportunity to come shower and wear my pyjamas already.

so when I wake up I just wash my face underarms coochy and feet.

Today he sent some people to my house to get my suitcase so that I can also have stuff to wear. so now I have clothing to wear no need to wear his clothing but his tracksuit is still in my laundry.

anyway I went to take a shower wore my pyjamas and wore my gown. actually it reminds me of my mom since I took it from her.

after that I headed downstairs.

I went to the kitchen and found Ms Moisa already taking out plates.

Ms Moisa: I was about to come get you.

Me: no worries Ms Moisa I knew I had to be here before 19:00 I learned my lesson from yesterday.

she laughed.

yesterday was definitely my lesson day not only did I mess up breakfast but I messed up dinner too. I didn't  mess up lunch because his doctor bought us something to have I think he asked him to bring it knowing I would mess it up.

well story short I burned the pap and it wasn't even ready to eat. how is that possible? how can something burn yet still not be ready to eat? hai! this cooking is starting to be more like maths.

so yah the pap burned but at least the meat turned out well well almost well. I wont even go into it.

so today Ms Moisa was with me in the kitchen guiding me every step and also doing something something.

its almost like Ms Moisa was cooking and I was here to to assist.

I dished up for us. all of us including helpers we had 3 helpers in the house. they stay here but weekend they go home if they want.

we started dishing out.

Ms Moisa told me yesterday that they used to have dinner together but since we need some time together they will let us have dinner together. I told her its ok if they joined she insisted that its best they give us space. so they will be having dinner in the kitchen instead of the dining room.

if you are wondering Ms Moisa is the head of all helpers here.

after dishing up I took a tray and put Mr Khoza's food on the tray took a glass of juice and a spoon.

I held it steady and walked to the dining room.

as I put the tray on the dining table Mr Khoza was brought in with his wheel chair.

Me: ohhh

you are already here.

he didn't  say anything. he was just wheeled to the table.

I put the food in front of him on the table and took the tray.

I then walked out getting my food.

I came carrying my food casually. I had my food in a big bowl no spoon and a glass of juice as well.

I walked in and put it on the table. I then sat down.

Mr Khoza: you are going to finish that?

I looked at him and looked at my food.

Me: small water. I can more then this.

Mr Khoza: why does it seem like you might eat us living in this house?

Me: I will if you don't  divorce me.

he chuckled and shook his head.

I pulled my sleeves up and dug my fingers in my food.

Mr Khoza: hai why not use a spoon?

Me: faster this way.

I said as I grabbed some food with my fingers and put them in my mouth. 

Me: mhmmmm.

I said then gave him a thumbs up.

he was just looking at me as if I am crazy.

Mr Khoza: now I see why you look like that.

I looked at him.

Me: (mouthful) and what does that mean?

Mr Khoza: hai! table manners. 

Me: (mouthful) huh? table have manners?

Mr Khoza: (sigh and shakes head) 

Me: (mouthful) what?

he put his spoon down put his hands together leaned his hands on his hands and looked at me.

Mr Khoza: are you a pig?

I chocked on my food and held my mouth so that I wouldn't  spit the food in my mouth.

after a while I swallowed and drank my juice to calm down my eyes were teary.

Me: Mr Khoza is that how you speak to woman?

Mr Khoza: well pardon me I didn't  think you were human when I saw how much you eat and how you eat it resembled more of a pig.

Me: didn't  it come to you that I could be a female pig?

he didn't  say anything but just looked at me.

Me: you know you starting to remind me of someone I once knew.

Mr Khoza: its nice to know.

Me: he was a bully. he always used to bully.

Mr Khoza: really? 

Me: mhm just like you he used to call me a pig.

I said as I put some food in my mouth.

Mr Khoza: you must have had a bad high school experience. 

Me: (mouthful) not really someone told me when I get bullied laugh instead of crying it drives the bully away.

Mr Khoza: who said that? 

Me: some stranger. 

Mr Khoza: some kids are told not to talk to strangers you even take advices?

Me: I didn't  talk to him he talked to me and gave me advice without me asking so why can't  I use it. anyway it worked. I started laughing at his jokes and even reminding him to bully me sometimes the bullying became less and less as I was just going along with everything he said. my high school became better. so I learned that if you ignore the negative your life will be better.

Mr Khoza looked at me as if he was thinking of something.

Me: I hope you are not having dirty thoughts.

he looked at his food and shook his head.

I continued eating.

Me: (mouthful) anyway can I ask you something?

Mr Khoza: learn some table manners first.

I just pouted as I continued eating.

with me acting like this some may say I have forgotten about Jamal and I am trying to adjust to my marriage life. well its done its done. instead of me hurting myself with memories and all that its better to just try to adjust to this life because its my life now. I may not love him but at least try to live with him and take everyday as it comes thinking about yesterday hurts thinking about tomorrow is stressful so I rather live the moment.

as we were eating his personal helper walked in already apologizing as he says its important he shows Mr Khoza and Mr Khoza nods.

he then walks out again.

Mr Khoza looks at me as I chewed the bones of my finished meet.

Mr Khoza: you are seriously dangerous.

I give him a smile as some bones still remain in my mouth.

Mr Khoza: anyway we have to go out tomorrow.

I spat out the bones in my mouth.

Me: out?

Mr Khoza: yes its my treat. 

Me: ohh so that's what the message is about? to remind us to showcase this relationship.

Mr Khoza: already burdened?

Me: someone recently called me a gold digger now that I think of it it doesn't sound like a bad idea. lets spend some money.

he chuckled and shook his head.

Mr Khoza: you need help.


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