My childhood wasn't a total nightmare. I grew up with loving Parents and I grew up in a good home. Though my Father was good to me he wasn't entirely good to my Mother. He was emotionally and physically abusive to her that my Mother had no other choice but to file for a divorce. That happened before they could even have a second child. I am the only child born to my Mother and my Father has a family of his own now. I think I have 2 or 3 siblings from his side. My Father was a police officer I think that's why it was so easy for him to abuse my Mother. I was there and I witnessed every bit of the abuse I still don't know how she made it through. She is one of the strongest women that I have ever known. Parts of my father's fault became the reason why I started being rebellious. It got worse when they divorced cause that's when I started to see less of him. He wasn't there for me as much as I wanted him to be. I was young back then and he wasn't there anymore when I needed him the most..

At some point I had to clean up my act for my Mother I didn't wanna be another male in her life that was going to disappoint her. She was hurting a lot and if I didn't change to be a better person she wasn't going to make it. She wasn't going to survive being in an abusive marriage and also having a child that's rebellious...

She passed me my plate..

Her: Is everything okay?

Although she went to school but she never worked while still married to my Dad. He wanted her to be a housewife she only started working after their divorce. She couldn't get the job that she studied for so she had to make ends meet with being a domestic worker. She only stopped working when I started the eatery..

Me: Ya ngi grand (I'm alright)

She sat across me..I kept on looking at her..

Me: Momo

She looked at me..

Me: How would you feel if I could make someone my wife?

She laughed..

Her: first you need to be in a relationship for you to make someone your wife Momo

I kept quiet..

Her: Don't tell me that it's one of those girls who don't have sense.. Uzoza la azongisogolisa (She will come here and trouble me)

Me: No it's not Momo.. This one is a different girl

Her: Different how?

My Mother is what I consider a spoiled brat. She is from a very educated family her father was a principal and I don't know how my Father got her. I don't know how he got to her

Her: Ukhuluma ngobani ke? (Who are you talking about )

Me: I'm talking about u Sandy

She squinted her eyes...

Her: uSandy which one?

Me: Sandy Nkosi

Her: Wait what??? Umzukulu ka MaNkosi? (MaNkosi's grandchild)

Me: Yes..

Her: Uyahlanya Menzi? (Are you crazy)

Me: Why ubuza? (Why do you ask)

Her: Angeke udlale Umzukulu kaMaNkosi ufuna loya Mama eze la azosihlanyela? (You won't be playing her Grandchild you want that woman to come and go crazy on us)

Me: Angimthathi uSandy just to play with her I want something serious with her

Her: kodwa Menzi can't you just play with the same girls that you always play with? this one is different and I don't want any problems. Loya Mama uzoza la azorasa (That woman is going to come here and make noise)

Me: I really want a serious thing with her. She's a good girl and I know that she's going to respect you more than the girls that I've brought here previously. She's well behaved and she could make a good wife

Her: That's new.. Since when have you been serious about anything?

Me: There comes a time in a man's life when he has to be serious

Her: I'm surprised but are you really sure about Sandy?

Me: I am sure been checking her for a while now

Her: Hai asazi Momo ned ang'funi izinkinga (I don't know but I don't want problems)



Modrid: May I talk to you?

I put the files down on the table and looked at him he made his way in..

Me: What's wrong Modrid?

He sat opposite me..

Him: You no longer going out to dinner?

Me: No I am not

Him: Reason being?

Me: I don't have anyone who is going to have my back even though he's our alliance but he can strike

Him: That's bad

Me: Did you wanna talk about something Modrid?

Him: Yes

Me: What is it?

Him: I want you to stay away from Rebecca

Me: Are you asking or are you commanding me?

Him: You don't understand how difficult it is to be in love with her while I witness you making hurting her like that almost everyday. It angers me a lot deep down and I don't want us to be enemies because of that

Me: I don't abuse her

Him: In so many ways you do

Me: Why are you soo in love with this girl?

Him: You wouldn't understand

Me: You right.. I wouldn't.. Is she going to get rid of what she's carrying?

Him: Yes she will.. I'll make sure of that

Me: Good


Me: See Modrid I can never be like you I can never allow myself to be governed by an emotion known as "Love". It has destroyed a lot of Men and it will destroy you too

Him: That's because you programmed yourself and closed your heart from ever loving someone you make love your enemy

Me: I loved my Daughter more than anything in this world. She's gone now there's no reason to love again

Him: You have too much feelings of hate and Anger Dear Brother. They destroying you

Me: No they make me feel alive

He stood up..

Him: I'll see you tomorrow morning incase you have retired to bed when I get back

Me: Have a safe night

Him: Have a peaceful night

He walked out..



Me: How do I look?

Rato: You look good.. The dress hugs your body perfectly

Me: You think?

I looked at myself in the mirror again..

Me: Is it enough to make Mbali say 2 or 3 words about me to Ms Rich?

Her: Probably

She came up to me..

Her: This is a big night for us I want you to work your magic. We are not going to leave the rising sun club without getting a target for tonight

Me: We on girl.. Let's work out magic

Her: Let's do this



We were sitting outside just Me My Brother and Fezi. We were sitting around the fire as I watched the wood burning up. Fezi and my Brother were busy talking my mind was far away very far away. I don't believe in suicide I have had suicidal thoughts before but never acted on them. I don't know how death is I don't know how life after death is therefore it's risky for me to commit suicide..

The thoughts started torturing me right now I was confused and very hurt to even have any hope of things getting better ever again.

I feel like God is not hearing me maybe he is busy with others that mean more to him than I do...

Xolani: Sandy

I looked at him..

Xolani: Ngiyezwa bathi indaba uyenzile earlier on (I hear that you caused problems earlier on)

I stood up and took my phone...

Me: It was nothing

Fezi: Manje uyaphi? (so now where are you going)

Me: I'll be right back

I felt tears nearing and I didn't wanna cry in front of them so I went to the back of the house. The more that tears streamed down my cheeks the more my heart bled. My conscience doesn't want me to end my life but my being is tired I'm tired of going through this. This life is taking a piece of my sanity slowly but surely..

Me: God Please make a way I'm at the edge of a cliff. I feel like falling off.. I'm done I'm done with everything

I wiped my tears. If I kill myself my Grandmother is going to be happy. My Aunt is going to be happy. My death will only affect my Brother Fezi Mam'Masango and Nomusa. They will all recover my Brother has drugs to help him recover..

As I was debating with myself my phone started to ring I checked the caller ID and it was an unsaved number. I answered..

Me: Hello

The person didn't say anything..

Me: Hello?

Voice: Hello

Me: Hi.. Who is this?

Voice: It's Menzi

My phone almost slipped from my hand..

Him: Umzala wakho ung'nike ama number wakho (Your cousing gave me your numbers)

Me: Ohw

Him: uSharp? (Are you okay)

Me: Ngi sharp (I'm okay)

Him: Can I see you?

Me: I don't think so.. It won't be possible

Him: Why?

Me: I don't know but it won't be possible

Him: Angisho wuwe ongafuni ukuthi ibe possible lento (You the one who doesn't want it to be possible)

I exhaled..

Him: Ngiyak'cela tuu (Please)

Me: Okay when?

Him: Ksasa? (Tomorrow)

Me: Okay

He imitated my voice..

Him: "Okay"

I chuckled..

Me: Ahh

Him: Ngizok'bona ksasa ke (I'll see you tomorrow)

Me: Ok

Him: Sharp

Me: Bye

I hung up while smiling like a retard.. I don't know what it is about the phone call but it really sent a warning feeling on my chest..


Write your opinion

Ruthy 2019-07-16 12:16:01

im already loving this story, i must say hats off to you, your stories are always interesting but problem is we wait too long for other chapters...please add more...pretty please

Jane 2019-07-16 04:19:32

And then what happened to chapter 8?

Tsholofelo 2019-07-16 00:02:17

Poor Sandy... But atleast Menzi made u smile.