Client: You have helped me a lot waze walivala uhlazo lwami (You were able to hide off my shame)

Me: It's a beautiful wig ngiyenze izolo (It's a beautiful wig I put it together yesterday)

Client: And it was very affordable.. R350

Me: Ende iyak'fanela (It suits you)

Client: Thank you Musa yaz' ungincedile (Thank you.. You have helped me)

Me: Ungeza ngapha sizobhadala (You can come this way so that you can pay)

We went to the counter so that she could pay.. I checked my phone again and I had another missed call from my Mother I didn't even bother calling her back. Sandy keeps me updated every now and then ever since I left my Mother's health took a toll on her. It was so bad that she was even let go at work after the Dr certified her medically unfit to keep on working because of her constant seizures. I have always considered my Mother to be a very strong woman hearing that my leaving home depressed her like that it really tore deep inside..

Even if I wanted us to have a relationship her husband would never allow that. When I left home he told me that no matter how difficult life gets out there I should never think of coming back. He said I'm dead and buried to them...

Client: Ngiyabonga sisi (Thank you my sister)

Me: Kubonga Mina Dali (I'm thankful too)

She walked out. My bubbly personality is the reason behind me having clients I always make sure that I create temporary friendships with them so that they can keep on coming back..

Aminah made her way in..

Her: Why is it so quiet today?

I pointed at her..

Me: But you.. I waited for you yesterday what happened?

Her: Yesterday I was very busy

Me: You not doing me right Aminah

Her: Sorry but I'm here now

Me: Do you have it?

Her: Yes

Me: Let's see

She took the soap and the massage cream out..

Her: Here

I looked at them..

Me: Are you sure that these things are going to work?

Her: I would never bring you things that don't work. Look in the morning when you bath wet the soap and massage it on your bum and hips. When you done bathing massage the cream to your bum and hips. If you do everyday I'm telling you my friend soon you will have a big bum

Her English accent is not so impressive..

Me: Hai Aminah ngathi uyang'shaya shaya (It seems like you playing with me)

Her: You know me.. When last did I play you? Huh? I always bring you good things from my husband

Aminah is originally from Pakistan. Her husband operates around the area he is those Doctors who help you to get rich bring back a lost lover and etc. I saw on the pamphlet that he also sells creams and soaps that can make a woman's butt slightly bigger and also give you that curvy shape. My body is not a total nightmare I just need to make my butt a bit big and my hips wide..

Aminah: But even you my friend

She shook her head..

Aminah: It's going to take a while for the soap and cream to make you wider.. You must eat more Pap to gain more and more

Me: If Pap can make me big then ngithengelani lo dodi wakho (Why am I buying your nonsense)

Her: if you want to gain fast Abdul can give you butt injection

Me: No I don't trust your husband

I looked at the soap and the cream..

Me: These will do for now

Her: It's R150 both

I looked at her shocked..

Me: Haibo!!

Her: They work my friend.. The cream is mixed with special herbs

Me: I will kick your ass all the way to Pakistan if this shit don't work.. I will moer you!

Her: It will work.. Calm down

I opened my small petty cash box and took out the R150 to give it to her..

Me: They better work!!

If I have any hopes of Ms Rich even giving me the slightest attention my body has to catch her eye..



M. Masango: Xolani this looks bad maybe we should go to the clinic

Xolani: No Mamzo ngizoba grand (I'll be fine)

Mam'Masango had massaged his arm with some herbal ointment and bandaged it. She also gave him pain killers for the pain..

This woman is going through a lot already when Nomusa left it really affected her. Troubling her this much with my problems makes me feel like I'm putting more pressure on her already struggling health...

Xolani: Ithi nginishiye (let me get going)

M.Masango: You didn't finish your food

Xolani: No ngi ngrand nou Ta Mamzo (I'm good now.. Thank you)

He took the pain killers with and left..

M.Masango: I'll make us some tea

Me: I can do it

Her: It's okay sthandwa sam' I'll do it

If my Grandmother could find out that I'm here she's definitely going to kill me she hates the Masango family..

M.Masango: What happened?

She sat opposite me after switching on the kettle.. It took time for me to respond to her..

Her: Sandy??

Me: I'm losing my soul I'm losing my heart and I'm losing my sanity. Life is becoming impossible for me to live now. I don't have any strength or any will to go on anymore. Living has become an unbearable pain for me. Whilst others pray at night for satefy I pray for death. If I make it through the night and wake up the next morning it becomes a huge disappointment to me

I wiped my tears..

Me: The only reason why I haven't committed suicide is because I'm scared. Not that it hasn't crossed my mind but I'm scared to take my own life. Quite frankly those who have taken their own lives I don't know how they did it. It's not that easy

Her: You haven't killed yourself because no matter how cruel life is to you deep down a part of you believes that life might just get better along the way. There's a bit of hope that you holding on too

I shook my head..

Me: Life is not going to get better. Either God doesn't like me or God is evil himself. These People call themselves true Christians but their hearts are full of evil. How can God allow them to hurt us like that knowing very well that we have no one?

Her: Ohh Sandy

Me: I'm dying inside.. I don't even know where I'm going to sleep tonight

Mam'Masango would gladly shelter me but since Xolani has resorted to doing drugs. Her Husband doesn't trust us anymore and he doesn't want us here. He is very adamant that Xolani will either steal something around here or hook up his drug buddies so they can come and break in. We only come when he is not around...

Me: I don't know what to do anymore I can't even pray... There's no use nothing gets better

She extended her hand to mine..

Me: I don't know what I did to deserve this. I'm 25 years old now nothing has changed. I'm slipping away my soul is fighting for a way out. It wants to break free from all these chains of pain and misery depression is taking away a piece of my sanity everyday. I'm losing myself

I could see her heart breaking..

Her: Everything is going to be okay

Me: Nothing is going to be okay I wish I was never born. Out of all the things that my Mom did she couldn't even think of abortion?

She closed her eyes and cleared her throat..

Her: You know what.. Maybe go and buy us some biscuits go get some fresh air just to clear your head.. What do you say?

Me: I guess so

Well I don't know how getting fresh air will help in this situation I'm too much of an emotional wreck to be going out in public..



I have a boyfriend. He is in his early 30s his name is Nolo and he has a stable job. I am not a huge fan of "Love" I don't even date for "Love". I would never in my whole life date a guy that's broke

his name is Nolo and he has a stable job. I am not a huge fan of "Love" I don't even date for "Love". I would never in my whole life date a guy that's broke that's just not me and it's not my life. I'm trying to financially uplift myself and a dead beat broke boyfriend won't do me any good he's just going to be an unnecessary burden to me. Nolo is very much in love with me but this relationship on my side is just a transaction. He gives me a girlfriend allowance of R3000- R4000 a month. It's not much for me but hey at least it's something. Better than the love he gives me..

My phone rang it was a call from Sandy. I let it ring until it stopped so that I can call her back she struggles a lot with airtime..

I called her..

Her: Kazi

Me: Kazi

I heard her sniffing..

Me: uRight?

Her: Not exactly

Me: Ekini futhi? (Your family is still at it)

Her: It's getting too much now

Me: Sandy you know that I love you I love you a lot my friend but.. This has to stop. Angeke wa busy uphila ngezinyembezi (You can't live on tears all the time)

She didn't say anything..

Me: umuhle my friend and you can get yourself a good guy who can provide well for you

Her: Don't start Musa

Me: I'm telling you the truth.. At least get a guy who is going to help you better yourself. Iskolo izinto zakho I know get a guy who is going to take you to school bese uyaphuma lapha kini.. That's the only way my friend no miracle is going to come

Her: Your Mom..

Me: My mom is going to take you to church and keep on telling you to pray for something to happen God is not going to come down from heaven and help you. You have been living like this for years now and where is he? He is sitting comfortably up there in heaven minding those who matter the most to him. Vuka emaqandeni Sandy kuse mhlabeni la!!

Her: Bye Musa

Me: This church girl act needs to stop or else you will end up committing suicide be-

She hung up. I shook my head and put my phone back under the counter..



I put my hand on my Bible with tears in my eyes I started to pray...

Me: "Heavenly Father. I come before you at this moment in the name of your only begotten son the name of Jesus christ. I'm a mere mortal being and I'll never understand your ways I'll never understand your plans but I know that you want nothing for us but Good. Ngiza kuwe Nkosi (I come before you) on behalf of Sandy. I made a promise to that child that one day things will get better I made that promise because I believe in you. I believe that you can turn her life around. She has a good heart and that good that's left in her is being taken away from her by the same people that are meant to love and care for her. I ask you to intervene I ask you to see her pain and finally come through for her. I might have failed with my Daughter but let me not fail this girl. I trust and believe in you. This is beyond me now I ask that you intervene.. Amen"

Sandy is a good child. She's humble she's very respectful and she has a good heart. I am scared that what's happening to her might turn her into something that she's not. Too much pain and confusion can turn out bad for someone everyday I pray that may she not lose herself into this cruel world while trying to save her soul from her toxic family..



Halfway through walking to the shop I spotted Menzi's car at the car wash. He drives a GTI it's an old model. He bought it back in 2014 now he just pimps it out every now and then..I stopped and immediately thought of turning back... Menzi is one of those charming bad boys from the hood you know that type that's bad news. Those guys your Mama would warn you about Menzi was exactly that type. He turned this other 4 room house at the corner into an eatery and a mini car wash. It's a very busy place especially on weekends people gather there to eat drink and have fun. Yes his business might be making him money but I'm sure that on the side he is also pushing something illegal..

I don't like him because he troubles me a lot each time when he sees me passing there. I don't even know what he wants from me because I'm not the type of girl that guys like him would go for. I am boring I am dull there's just nothing interesting about me.. I looked at the R50 that Mam'Masango gave me and I turned back busy debating with myself if I should go back and lie to her or just continue with my journey. But then what if I go back and lie that there's no biscuits and she sees right through me I'm not a very good lie..

I took a deep breath and continued with my journey praying that I get to the shop without being bothered.. My prayers weren't answered when I saw him standing at the gate he seemed to be on a phone call at least he's busy with something he probably won't bother me. I started walking a bit fast and they were playing music really loud

Even if he calls me I'll act as if like I didn't hear him..

I didn't even look at him I passed him as if like he didn't exist. His ever irritating self whistled at him I ignored and kept on walking.. He whistled again and I ignored then some two guys who were sitting at the side of the road got up and stopped me.. I turned back and I saw him approaching I turned and looked at the two guys..

Me: serious vele?

Guy 1: Nawe bayak'biza ushaya omunye umntwana nge bomb (He is calling you and you ignoring him)

We waited until Menzi got to us I didn't turn back to look at him. I just felt his arm around my shoulders..

Menzi: Ta Gents (Thank you Gents)

Guy1: Sure bra Menzi

They walked away. He removed his hand from my shoulders and came to stand in front of me. He buried both his hands deep in his pockets I noticed he had stitches on his left cheek bone..

Him: San San

He squeezed my cheek..

Me: What do you want Menzi?

He sighed..

Him: Kanti vele why ung'chomela? (Why you always playing hard to get)

He slightly bit his lower lip and I ran my eyes around I was too nervous to look at him in the eye..

Me: Angik'chomeli (I'm not playing hard to get)

Him: "Angik'chomeli" mara bheka aw'kwazi nokung'bheka emehlweni (I'm not playing hard to get but you can't even look me in the eye)

I heard someone calling him..

Him: Ya Ngiyazwakala!!! (I'm coming)

He looked at me one last time..

Him: Ku grand Bunju sizoy'qeda ngelinye ilanga (It's alright we will finish this conversation some other time)

He walked away and I was able to breath again I turned back after maybe 3 seconds and he was walking backwards while still looking at me. I quickly turned back and continued with my journey to the shop..

I kept on breathing in and out to calm myself...I was very nervous..


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Lungie 2019-08-01 15:49:26

O no this Menzi angakudlwenguli Nkosi yam