There's no me without you 3

Author : Ouma Betty Ntsukunyane

Description: Chapter 1One year later…Nkosinathi I clock out from my eighteen hour shift and I am shit tired, it's days like today that make me feel like quitting. The fatigue is not quite worth it and the money, let's not even go there. I call Jacques, the manager at my restaurant and tell him that I am not coming by tonight. It’s been a long day, I had two patients that died today on my watch. That's the worst thing to ever witness especially the part where you have to tell the family members that their child is gone and they're never returning. It's already 9:45 pm when I park my car in the garage and I just miss living with my parents. As the youngest of four siblings, I received the best treatment. Mom would welcome me with a hot cup of hot chocolate with roasted marshmallows, a warm home cooked meal and a clean bedroom with fresh sheets and towels. It's so sad how we always can’t wait to grow up until we actually do and realise it's a trick.I throw myself on the couch and remove the stethoscope around my neck and throw it on the table. “I am probably the only millionaire in the world that works this hard" I think to myself. Honestly, I have been trying to convince myself to let go and focus on my restaurants but its not easy. It feels like I am now addicted to the immense pressure situations I find myself in. I was born with a silver spoon but I still chose to pursue medicine mostly because I love it and partly because the money I stand to inherit is not clean. My phone vibrates and I lazily search for it in my pockets. It's  a video call from the love of my life.Her: Aah! nana you look horrible.Me: Thank you punkie that's exactly what I needed to hear.Her: Stop sulking you're the one who chose to do this.Me: It's not me it's…Her: It's a calling! So I've heard.She says with a smile. That smile ladies and gentlemen is the reason why I wake up everyday. My whole existence is built around seeing that, it adds a few heartbeats to my aging heart. It does the things that make the heart surrender all.Me: I miss you so much baby.Her: I know we also miss you.Me: How are my boys?Her: They slept really late waiting for your call.Me: I am sorry I was in the ER for 18 hours straight after that I just came home in fact I've  just arrived now.Her: It's okay I know you could've called if you could.Me: Did daddy one at least call? Her: He did more than that he was here to tuck them in.Me: There in your house with you around?Her: Don't do that! He was here for the kids and that's it.I feel my body tense up and temperature slightly rise. Lynn and I decided to give us a chance four months ago. We've been spending so much time together I guess it was bound to happen but when she kissed me and told me she loved me it was the best day of my life. Things have been great ever since but my insecurities or should I say fear has heightened. I am always waiting for her to go back to him even though she consistently assures me they're genuinely over.Me: I love you so much Lynn.Her: And I love you…Me: Just the thought of losing you it makes me feel..Her: You'll never lose me. You make me happy nana and I don't plan on letting go of my happiness.Me: Smart ass.Her: That's why you couldn't stay away, so don't hate.Me: Still coming over this weekend.Her: I wouldn't miss it for the world.Me: The things I am going to do to you.She bites her lips and my erection keeps growing.Her: Nkosi…Nkanyezi is sleeping next to me.Me: I am serious punkie I am planning to be buried so deep into you that we will feel like one flesh. Fuck! Just thinking about the things I will be doing to you gets me hard.I briefly close my eyes and take a huge breath in and out. I have been waiting for this weekend ever since the day I met Lynn. She's been taunting me with her sexy appeal and everyday I would have to masturbate but not anymore, I am finally getting the cookie.Her: I swear if you keep doing that I am bailing out!Me: No! no! Punkie you wouldn't dare.Her: No! like seriously I feel that you're going to devour me and leave me paralysed.Me: Is that a bad thing?I laugh as her expression changes. Her face is the kind that carries the truth, it's not hard to tell when she's sad, hurt, happy, shy or angry. She wears her emotions on her sleeves. Her: You need to stop thinking about this and rest, you have to report at 4 am.Me: Sometimes I forget that you're my employer.Her: Well I will always be here to remind you.Me: Not in my house you won't, you leave the boss at work and in this relationship you don't call the shots.Her: Yebo baba!Me: I am serious Lynn!Her: I know Zulu man and I love you just like you are my king.I don't if she knows how much her calling me her king melts my heart. It's not just words for me but it's confirmation of her respect towards me even though she's five years older than me.Me: I love you my queen. I will come fetch you after my shift on Friday.Her: I really can't wait to spend the night with you and for you to do things to me.She's sucking on her two fingers.Me: Sleep you silly girl before I drive down there and take you.She giggles, then blows me a kiss and hangs up. Well, my spirits are uplifted as I pick myself up and go to bed. One more day and it's Friday, can't wait to sleep next to my baby.Sfiso Me: Did you know that sex can extend your life expectancy for up to five years?Her: Is that the reason why you've locked me up in this apartment for the past two days because you want me to live longer Dr Lephoto.Me: I wouldn't want you to die not when my heart has grown so fond of you.She shakes her head and smiles.Her: Such a charmer.She moves from above and helps remove the condom wrap and throws it beside the bed.Me: Come here.I lie face up and she rests her head on my chest. We've been doing this for three months now. It all started when I went to fetch Siyabonga at her place, he wasn't back yet from his trip so I had to wait. She offered me coffee and one thing lead to another, a week later she was spending weekends at my apartment. After Nkanyezi was born I tried to mend things between Lynn and I but she was too fragile, too scared to try again, we had the talk and she asked that I  stop trying and I did. I haven't given up on her but I am allowing her room to make decisions for herself, to be happy and live for herself. The apartment wasn't big enough for her and the boys so we switched. She's now permanently residing in our old place and I leased her old apartment. Her: Jason is coming back tonight so I can't sleep here.Me: That's a bummer! How am I suppose to stay away from this.I shove my finger inside her and she opens wider for me. Sex with Puleng is way different than sex with Lynn. With Lynn I was always so careful not to hurt her, too emotionally attached, scared to try my dark fantasises on her but with Puleng it's limitless. I didn't even know that I could do the things that I have been doing with this woman, out of this world I tell you.My phone disturbs our very hot session.Her: No! No! No! Don't answer that!Me: Aah Shit!She keeps moving her butt back and forth and it's so hard to think straight when she's doing this. I enjoy the ride until the phone starts ringing again, I take a peek and Lynn's name flashes on the screen. I don't even think twice, I pull out and push her aside. I answer as I walk to the balcony. She's video calling me like always, I swear it feels like she's spying on me.Me: My beautiful baby mama.Her: You're sticking with the name vele.Me: It's either that or baby.Her: Don't start with me. Are you from gym?Me: What  makes you say that?Her: You're sweating!Me: Oh! I was jogging.She gives me a suspicious look but quickly dismisses the thought of asking further questions.Her: Are you still coming to take the boys this weekend?Me: Yes will be there Saturday morning.Her: No Sfiso we agreed on Friday afternoon.Me: Don't bite my head off! I will come Friday didn't think it was much of a big deal. Do you have plans with him?Her: Yes!Me: So he doesn't want to hang around my kids anymore?Her: It's not like that and we're not discussing my relationship. Wena just be here on Friday. Have a nice day!She drops the call and I can never get used to this fierce Lindiwe, who stands her ground and doesn’t tolerate my bullshit. I smile to myself because it's really attractive to see her stand up for herself like that reminds me of when we were still young and in love. I walk back in the room to find Puleng packing. She's made up the bed and she's in her jeans and my T-shirt.Me: Woah! What's happening here? Where are you going?Her: I am leaving Sfiso! I don't even know why I am here. You have no room for me in your life let alone your heart. It's her you want and I know that's what I signed up for but I can't do it anymore.It's really sad to watch. I am breaking another person's heart in the quest of mending my own. I've always been clear to Puleng about my intentions, I told her from the beginning that Lynn will always come first in my life and she agreed but I guess the amount of time we've been spending together has convinced her otherwise.Me: Puleng don't do this. You know I care about you.Her: But you can't love me, I know but I don't think I can handle it anymore.I step closer to her and she signals with her hand that I should stay away.Her: I am buying into this dream you're selling me. I fantasise about us raising our boys together, you loving me fully but I know that it will never happen as long as she's there. Her voice is breaking and she can't look me in the eyes.Me: Come here.I engulf her in my arms and she fits right in. I also have to admit that what we have is more than sex. She's special to me, she's loving, caring, funny, domestic and very good with Siya. I feel something more than the physical but my heart is occupied.Me: You mean more to me than you can imagine but I need you to be patient with me. I'll get there I promise but I just need time.Her: I am falling in love with you Sfiso. It's so bad and I don't think I want to hold back anymore.Me: I know and you should trust me. I won't hurt you Puleng, not intentionally. I care about you and I hate to see you this hurt.I kiss her through her tears and hold her in my arms until she stops crying, we spend a good few minutes just standing like that in silence. Puleng is a good woman, she was in an abusive marriage until she decided that she couldn't take it anymore. She's very strong willed but emotionally weak and that's why I always have to be gentle with her. Me: Let me feed you monkey bear!Her: You know that name is not romantic akere.Me: You know you love it! Come take a ride.I slightly bent down and she rides on my back. We commence to the kitchen and I watch her make some pancakes. I could really get used this if only my heart would let me.LindiweNkanyezi is such a joyful child, he's never sick and gets along with everyone. Siyabonga is so fond of him and too protective of his brother. We moved to the old house weeks after Star was born, it was the sensible thing to do because of the space  and it's more homely. Seeing him walk for the first time was amazing and he's never stopped since, he doesn't even allow me to hold him longer than five minutes. He's another carbon copy of his father, stubborn and handsome.Me: Do you have everything?Sfiso: Will you please chill, I've done this before.Sfiso surprised me, he stepped up and has been trying very hard to build a relationship with his sons. We co-parent and it's working out, we occasionally take out the boys together so that they can see that we're still a family. He thought that us having Nkanyezi would mean that we stand a chance but I couldn't forgive him no matter how much I tried so I dismissed the possibility. Me: I have never been away from them for so long, I am freaking out, I think I should just cancel.Sfiso: You're not cancelling anything it's only two nights and besides Puleng will be there.He freezes after saying those words and an awkward silence fills the room.Me: So Puleng huh?Sfiso: I am sorry I didn't want you to find out like this.Me: I was wondering when you were going to tell me.Sfiso: So you knew?Me: I have her on WhatsApp, she updates her status a lot.Him: She loves taking pictures.Me: She's a good woman and very fond of Siya so I trust her.Him: We're not there yet.Me: Don't close your heart from love Sfiso just because we couldn't work out doesn't mean true love doesn't exist.He closes the gap between us and brushes my hair with his fingers. Him: We're really over huh?Me: Some other people are just not meant to be although they still love each other.Him: Does that mean you still love me?Me: You know I'll always love you.Him: I'll always love you too, I guess that's why I can't move on because it's you my heart wants.I don't have a come back so I keep quiet. We hold a stare for the longest time and my Sfiso is still in there but I am tired of fighting and that's the most vivid memory of what our love amounted to.Siya: Dad we're ready!He comes in holding Nkanyezi, I take him and we head outside. My heart is heavy for some reason I don't feel ready to let go.Me: Take care of my babies.He pulls me into his arms  with one hand and kisses my forehead.Him: You're an incredible mother and you deserve this weekend off so please stop stressing and enjoy yourself and be safe.I smile back at him and watch him strap them in the car and they leave. I stand at the gate with a broken heart until my phone vibrates and it's a message from my king. **Hope you're ready for tonight! I'll be there in 20 minutes.**I jump up in joy and run into the house to finish packing. I am not sure what to pack but I know we will be mostly in doors so I go for comfort clothes and plenty of lingerie. Nkosinathi has been so patient with me and I haven't had some dick in more than a year. Haa! I am sure I am virgin now so I can't wait for this weekend.He calls me after waiting for him for an hour but I know it's Friday and traffic is bad. Him: Punkie I am outside.Me: You're not coming in?Him: No! It will take too long and I want to get you home. Me: In that case I am on my way.I quickly set the alarm and make sure I lock and close all windows and the door. I smile like a retard when I come into full view of what God has blessed me with. He's leaning against his Mercedes-Benz AMG and still in his maroon scrubs. Nkosinathi is on another level fam, he's beyond handsome, attractive and strong. I run into his arms and I fit right in. He turns me around and we kiss. The kiss is unlike the ones we've had before it's, hungry and rushed. He's pressing me against the car and holding my bum so firmly, my hands are all over him and I can feel his growing bulge. We've been kissing a lot in this relationship but that's just it, he wouldn't allow us to go further “not in  Sfiso's house” he always said.Him: Come let's get out of here, I need you naked.He whispers in my ear and spanks my butt. I can feel chills down my spine because of the way he says it. His voice is compelling, deep but not hard. He opens the door for me and I get in and he goes off to his side. He looks at me one more time before we drive off, his eyes don't look like the ones I've come to know, they look dangerous, hungry and full of lust. I look back at my house, maybe this was a bad idea.Him: You're not getting out of this one Punkie you're all mine this weekend.He pats my thigh and takes my hand into his as he turns the volume up and it's Barry White's: Practice what you preach and I know I am fucked, literally.Girls there's something wrong with meEvery time I'm alone with youYou keep talking about you loving meHey babe, your foreplay just blows my mindSo why don't we stop all the talking girlWhy don't we stop wasting time?'Cause you keep telling me this and telling me thatYou say once I'm with you, I'll never go backYou say there's a lesson that you want to teachWell here I am baby, practice what you preachGirl it's just you and me, so many things I could do to you and so many ways I can pleaseHey, hey, hey it's your move girlWhy don't you start turning down the lightsAnd show me what you can do?'Cause you keep telling me this and telling me thatYou say once I'm with you, I'll never go backYou say there's a lesson that you want to teachWell here I am baby, practice what you preach❤❤❤

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Chapter Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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Chapter Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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Chapter Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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Chapter Chapter 5

Chapter 5

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Chapter Chapter 6

Chapter 6

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Chapter Chapter 7

Chapter 7

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Chapter Chapter 8

Chapter 8

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Chapter Chapter 9

Chapter 9

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Chapter Chapter 9

Chapter 9

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Chapter Chapter 10

Chapter 10

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