I never thought my life would reach this kind of turning point. Never have I thought I would reach this stage in my entire life.Being molested and a punching bag all in the name of love. Was I that desperate? He always says he made me who I am and if I dare to walk away now I will be signing my rich ass back to poverty. He always threatened that if I leave I leave with what I came with. I loved him and that's not something I could remove within my heart. I was lost in my trail of thoughts as tears were gushing down my pretty face. If only mom was here.
This was my life being a house wife and drinking my miserable life out during the day. If Kagiso found out
he would lose it. To think that with my father he is holy than thou and at home he is the devil himself. I won't begin with the emotional blackmails. Sometimes he blames me for the problems he has at work. You think I'm stupid right? But this lifestyle I live is one of the best things with this. He does love me but he doesn't want to show it. Who am I kidding he doesn't even care.
"Mama why are you crying and drinking during the day?"
My thoughts were interrupted by my beautiful daughter. Tshiamo is way too intelligent for a 10 year old.
"Nana uhm...I'm not crying" I said wiping my tears with my hands. "Mama is happy that she has you in her life and she is very greatful that you love her."
"Mama please don't lie it doesn't suit you. What's wrong?"
"I told you that I'm okay Tshiamo!" I snapped.
Gosh what have I done. This bitter relationship has me shouting at my child. She looked startled. ". Momo I'm sorry. Its just I have a lot on my mind and being here at home drives me crazy. Go put your bag down in your room and come help me with dinner."
She went upstairs and I went straight to my private room to hide the alcohol. I know Tshiamo will bring this up when she tells her dad that I didn't pick her up from school and she found me drinking red wine and crying. I have to come with a very convincing lie that he will believe otherwise we will be hitting the shower with my blood all over there.