Chapter 5

I finally gain enough courage and I knock

"Good day Mah my name is Pamela I'm looking for Mike" I say she looks at me from head to toe I look at myself and I realize that I didn't change as Mike had said I'm wearing black high waist shorts a crop top an oversized jean jacket and sneakers.

"Yes Hello you are looking for?" She asks still looking at me with so much disgust

"That's for me "Mike says behind her Thank the heavens

"Thank you for saving my ass " I say the minute we walk out the gate

"Shorts?? Really? " he says

"I forgot man come let's get that Kota you always rave about " I say

I spend the rest of the afternoon in Tembisa eating too much junk food and laughing as always.

"Sooo where's Jackson" Mike says

I don't trust any of them " I say

"I have to get going now I want to nap before Phila comes back you know how he is sometimes " I say Phila demands too much attention sometimes

I get to my place and I decide to take a shower I find it much easier to sleep after bathing. Honestly speaking it hurts me that I haven't spoken to Sibu in over a week now our friendship has never been the typical lovey dovey kind of friendship but we deeply care about each other especially in this life you really need someone who has your back no matter what.

I undress while standing in front of the mirror when I'm stressed it quickly shows my thighs look Skinner than they were a week ago. I quickly shower then I snuggle my self on the couch . It's 7pm now so Phila should be here soon an hour is enough for a quick nap.

I'm woken up by my phone ringing it's ReLive Health centre

*Nolwazi speaking hello*

*Nolwazi Hello how are you I'm calling about Lungelo*

*is everything okay? *

*I'm afraid not he's been admitted into hospital his body started heating up and his eyes are yellow*

*Are You still there Nolwazi*

*Yes I am do you know what's causing it ?*

*It's the side effects of the new pills he should be okay soon we thought we should let you *

*Thank you I will come down next weekend *

My phone rings again it's the complex security

*Someone by the name of Linda is here*

*I'm coming *

Phila runs to me the minute he sees me

"Hello big guy" I say hugging him

"Thanks for bringing him " I say and attempt to walk away

"Can we talk " he says I think about being rude but I remember the call I just received

"Baby go inside I'll be there now " I say

"Bye Mr Hlompe" Phila says to Linda

"In the car please " he says we walk to his car

"What do you want" I say when we get to the car

"A good time" he says with a smug smile

I unbuckle his pants in less than 15 minutes he lets go he hands me wipes I wipe my mouth.

"Thank you " he says while buckling his pants he then hands me a few R200 hundred notes it's R3000.

"I'm going home next weekend can you get two tickets for me "I say

"That's great I'm also in Durban next weekend we can spend the weekend together" he says with a big smile

"I'm going home Linda that's why I'm going to Durban " I say he thinks he's my boyfriend now

"I'll ask my assistant to send them before the end of the week "he says

I regret telling Phila about the cricket match tickets Jason gave me I could've cancelled going to watch it because it requires me to spend money that I don't have .We're on our way to wanderers stadium we arrive just in time for the match to begin.

I'm looking around and I spot Travis with a group of guys my heart sinks because seeing him makes think of what Sibu said about him being a woman beater. I'm not paying any attention to the game I'm busy drafting my budget for the coming month when someone taps my shoulder

I turn around to see a petite white lady.

"Hi" I say

"You must be Pamela" she says

"Depends on who's asking " I say

"My Name is Kimberly but you can call me Kim I'm from La Bella modeling agency I've seen you in a number of clubs promoting I love your work " she says she blinks rapidly

"Thank you " I say

"I don't normally do this but I'd like you to join the agency we do clothes and lingerie modeling" she says

"Thank you for the offer but I don't do promotions or modeling anymore" I say I'm over that now Pearl exploited me enough when I did promotions

"I understand but please take my card if you change your mind please call me" she says

Travis keeps stealing glances at me I can't shake the feeling that something is not going right with Sibu I ignore the feeling and continue watching the match Phila is having a good time he's the assistant couch here next to me he's shouting instructions it's funny.

At exactly 5pm Phila and I get on the uber and head home on my way I try calling Sibu but her phone rings till it gets to voice mail I keep trying until it's answered


*whatsapp *

*who's this*

*It's Travis whatsapp babe*

*where is Sibu*

*I have no idea*

*But You have her phone*

*Listen I have to go*

Something is not right with Sibu but I just don't know how I'll get to the bottom of this. I'll talk to Mike about it I'm sure he has connections at greenstone hill estate to let me in.

We get to the complex to find Mehluli parked outside the gate I'm starting to get tired of this now

"Hey " he says

"I'm really starting to get tired of this now" I say

"Are you good I came to check if you're okay and warn you not to call Kimberly "he says how does he know about that

"Go inside I'll be there now" I say to Phila

"How do you know about that Mehluli are you following me?" I ask

"Kimberly is one of Pearls good friends and business associate" he says

"I asked if you're following me" I say

"Pearl was hoping you would take Kimberlys offer so they could use you again " he says he is completely ignoring my question

"I wasn't going to take that offer anyway please stop following me around " I say attempting to walk away

"That's why I love you you're smart " he says with a slight smile I've come to conclude that this guy is a Psycho

"Mehluli I really don't know what you want from me but whatever it is I don't have it I have nothing to offer I don't love you actually I don't even think I like you so please leave me alone " I say politely

"I can take care of you Phila and Lungelo" he says in a soft voice I ignore him and I walk to the flat.

I have enough problems to deal with I don't need added stress of people like Mehluli. I'm glad the second term is almost over I can get to rest alittle I'm happy Phila and I have our holidays a round the same thing so we get to spend a lot of time together.

Phila and I are cuddling on the couch when my phone rings it's Jackson


*Hello Pam are you good? *

*I'm fine*

*what's up tonight ? I have a poker night to attend and you're coming with me I'll send the driver to pick you up at 9*

I really wonder what these men tell their wives when they don't come back home or get home late I understand why they never take their wives to such things this is the life they live outside of their real life or the life that everyone knows. In this life being seen with a young girl is an achievement because they believe young girls give the best sex and a satisfied man is a happy man. The good thing for me in this whole thing is that I make really good money if I attend such things. I quickly dial Mike's number

*Hey Friend *

*I'm not babysitting tonight

I'm going to a poker night with Tumelo*

*who is Tumelo*

*I met him last week yummy rich business guru from the Free state where are you going ?*

*Poker night with Jackson*

I move my phone from my ear because he's screaming

The Poker night went better than I expected I didn't do much but I came back home with R8000. Jackson was too drunk at the end of the night to do the deed his driver dropped me off first then took him home my lucky stars we really with me since I had to be at work today.

Jason and I are seating in the computer room talking about our weekends over coffee and cupcakes

"So you say your girl made these " I say taking another big bite

"She's a cake boss " he says smiling

"Just marry her already" I say teasing him
"My parents are not down for paying Lobola they say the whole thing is complicated" he says

"I didn't know white people pay Lobola" I say

"She's not white her name is Arabella Lerato Molefe" he says

"Look at you and your spot on pronunciations " I say laughing

"I'm attending Sotho classes can you imagine" he says

We spend the rest of the break catching up and eating too many cupcakes. I make a mental note to call Linda later and ask about the tickets before he starts acting up.

The week went by very fast it's Friday and schools have closed for the second term I'm flying to Durban tomorrow morning and flying back in the afternoon since Mike is too busy with his new guy to babysit.

"Sissy " he says when I walk in

"Hey when did you get home " I ask he uses a Scholar taxi

"At 11" he says

"Okay report please " I say we set targets for the term and if he meets them he gets a day out to Anywhere he wants we went to the bounce park in fourways last term.

He hands me the report I scan through it seems like I'm spending money again this term 3 level 7's and 1 level 3 target has been met.

"Well done kid" I say and hug him

"Can I get a cricket kit this term please " he says I've been putting it off for too long now they are very expensive out of all the sports he had to choose cricket.

I love Durban weather it's 7:30 and I've just landed in Durban I'm on my way to the center now I'm dreading it actually I don't like seeing Lungelo on a hospital bed.

"Hey " I say to him

"Hello" he says seems like he's really out of it today .

Lungelo can't remember short term memory so he won't remember what happened yesterday or what happened a few hours ago. His brain only remembers long term memory that's why he is taking so long to recover because in his mind his parents just died. I'm part of the Long term memory but he won't remember the last time I visited him I'm glad though because I don't have to introduce myself everytime unless if he is really out of it like today.

"Lungelo it's Nolwazi" I say my voice is breaking as if I'm about to cry but I never do

"Nolwazi "he says

"Yes it's me " I say holding onto his hand for dear life

He looks close to dead his eyes are a colour which I can't make out his skin is close to grey and he is still hot. Sometimes I'm tempted to make contact with his family this burden is becoming too much for me I always think what I'd do if he were to die he's had so many close calls. Honestly I didn't think depression would be deadly.

I walk out of the hospital room because I need air I feel my face heating up I'm heavily sweating and I'm running out of breathe I'm trying to gulp for air but I'm struggling my knees are wobbly I swear I feel like I'm dying

"Are you okay man" a nurse asks

I shake my head I try talking but I can't I don't know whether it's sweat or it's tears but my face is wet. She takes my hand and we start walking the opposite direction to where I was going I shake my head trying to signal that I need air my eyes are slowly closing she lays me on the bed I blink a few times till I close them.

I slowly open my eyes I feel weird I look around the room I have an oxygen mask on then I remember what happened earlier.

"You're awake" a nurse says taking off the oxygen mask

"What happened" I ask

"You my darling had a panic attack " she says I don't respond I'm shocked

"Dont worry you just need to take it easy take your medication and you should be fine " she says

"What's the time " I ask

"3pm" she says

" I have to get going my flight is at 4:15pm" I say

"We are keeping you overnight " she says

"Noooooo I have to fly back to Johannesburg my little brother is alone " I say

"Doctors orders my darling " she says

"You don't understand I have to go " I say getting off the bed

"But " she says

"I have to go I need to go " I say she rushes out of the room she comes back a few minutes later with a packet she hands it to me

"Please take your meds and you'll be okay you have to be strong for him " she says I walk away

That's the thing I have to be strong for Lungelo and Phila but who's strong for me I'm not one for complaining or feeling sorry for my self but I think it's getting to that point it's all getting too much.

I find Phila sleeping on my couch and the TV on he was watching cars 3 but I guess it ended up watching him. I sit next to him then I pick him up to sit on my lap I cuddle him in that position till I also fall asleep. Sleeping is what I plan to do for the rest of the holidays.

It's been a week of school holidays I'm enjoying them so far since I don't do anything my phone has been off half of the time since I'm avoiding Jackson and the crew especially Mehluli I swear he sends a hundred messages a day. It's been close to 3 weeks since I last heard from Sibu it's so unlike her sure we've never really had a fight but this is not like her. I dial Mike's number

*Babe I need your help*

*I'm In Mpumalanga though on a weekend away with my new yummy*

*I need you really bad *

*I'll be back tomorrow keep your panties on*

I hear him giggling then he drops the call now that Mike is not an option I'm alone in this. I request an uber while I get dressed Phila is in the play area with his friends from the complex I call him but his phone rings next to me.

"Please tell Phila I'll be back " I say to the security as I walk out to get into the uber

Honestly I have no plan what so ever but what I know is I have to find Sibu she's also saved me a lot of times. I'm standing outside the gate at her complex and I don't know what to do I think of one person who can help me I dial his number and he answers on the first ring

"Nolwazi" he says it's like he's been staring at the phone waiting for my call

"I need your help " I say he's breathing very fast like he's been running

"Anything " he say in the middle of trying to catch his breathe

"Sibu is missing " I say

"Don't worry about her she's probably on a boat with some man " he says

"I wouldn't call you if I didn't need your help Mehluli please you're the only person who can help me " I say with a pleading voice he's really my only hope

" I'm coming" he says and drops the call

In 10 minutes a range rover parks next to me and Mehluli comes out I think to myself how he knew that I'm here because I didn't tell him

"Mehluli I said stop having people follow me " I say the minute he stands in front of me

"I'm sorry" he says he doesn't even deny it so he does have people following me. The Matter at hand is Sibu and I have to focus on that for now otherwise this guy will drive me up the wall.

"I last saw Sibu at the hospital 3 weeks ago when you guys were going off at each other " I say

"Why are you here? " he asks I wonder how their co-parenting works since he doesn't even know that Sibu lives here

"Sibu lives here " I say

"Listen Mehluli I can't confront Travis alone that's why I called you here so if you could tell him that you are her baby daddy maybe he'd co-operate " I say he's staring deep into my eyes I doubt he can even hear what I'm saying

"Who's Travis" he asks

"MEHLULI FOCUS YHO" I shout he doesn't show any emotion he continues looking at me

"Lets go in " I say he nods but he doesn't move


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