Chapter 3

I last saw him a few months ago when I found out about his lifestyle Thula is in his mid 30s he lives off older lonely rich women he has women all over the country he has 1 or 2 overseas as well. Sometimes he gets greedy and goes after men as well. When you look at it our lifestyles are the same therefore I couldn't keep a hustler like me.

"Pammy Baby " he says

"Drive Thula"I say annoyed

"Still sexy I see how about one round for daddy " he says licking his lips

"Thula don't irritate me please " I say walking away he turns the volume in the car to full blast and speeds off. The car probably belongs to one of his women.

Phila finally comes out hopping as always he throws himself at me

"Hey big guy" I say kissing his head

"Sissy Charlotte says I'm a sissy because you always kiss my head. Please don't do it in front of the other kids" he says politely

"When did you grow up Phila" I say he looks at me and laughs

"I've been invited to a pyjama party on Saturday sissy please can I go " he asks

"We'll talk when we get home " I say and we get into the taxi home

Time really flies just yesterday I moved to Johannesburg with nothing but my resume which was half complete I remember how hopeful I was when I came here .I had very big dreams and aspirations of which I've had to put on hold to walk this journey of my life. Seeing Philasande so happy has become my full time job I didn't have a pleasant childhood I had to fight all my life and I'm still fighting .I loved my Mother dearly and I still do but she failed me she didn't serve my life any justice that's the reason I want to give Philla a childhood filled with happiness joy and mostly love.

The week went pretty fast it's been a hectic week it's almost end of term therefore we are busy with reports at school. I've fallen in love with my job I've found somethings about myself that I didn't know in my line of work working with children is beautiful. The only thing that makes me sad is that fact that most girls at school regard me as a role model I hate that because I know I'm nowhere close to being a role model.

It's Friday afternoon and I have to take Phila to the hospital for a check up I'm dreading going to the hospital Mehluli has been pestering me the whole weekI've told him where to get off but he keeps being a bee in my ear.

"Philasande please come we are going to be late " I shout for the hundredth time

"I'm coming " he shouts from his room if he's not finishing a game Chess he's talking to Charlotte on the phone

"Girl " Mike shouts outside the door I love my Friend but I hate how dramatic he is I don't understand why he is shouting because he's coming in anyway
"Some yummy guy is looking for you says he knows that you are home and won't go anywhere until he speaks to you " he says before I can say anything

"Who is he? " I ask annoyed

"Drives a red Ferrari "he says with a huge smile

"Please drag Phila out of his room I'll be back " I say

"What are you doing here "I ask when I get to the car

"You're not taking any of my calls "he says

"But there's no reason why I should " I say
"Pam I'd like us to talk "he says

"Listen I have to take my Brother to the hospital "I say

"I can take you "he says

"No thanks "I say attempting to walk away

"If this is about what happened at the hospital I can explain "he says

Just as I'm about to answer him one of Travis's car parks next to me Sibu walks out and storms to Mehluli she gives him a hot slap

"You're screwing her too " she screams I decide not to say anything

"Why not screw the whole of Johannesburg while you're at it "she screams again

"Si...."I say and she cuts me

"Shut up Nolwazi shut your ass up "she screams at me I turn around and walk away

"Screw the whole of South Africa while you at it Nolwazi open your skinny legs to everyone "she screams

I try so hard to walk away but I'm angry so I walk back to her my hands start sweating immediately

"Who the hell do you think you are " I say

"I'm the girl who made you remember ? I freaking made you Nolwazi " she screams while pointing at to my face

"You're not even worth it " I say

"You've taken all of them from me now I'm stuck with Travis who thinks I'm h is punching bag now you want to take Mehluli NEVER " she screams

"Come let's go " Mehluli says to me after a long silence he takes my hand and leads me to his car I'm completely confused on what's happening here Sibu grabs me by my hair I have a short Malaysian bob on Mehluli man handles her

"Get your filthy hands of me you rubbish " Sibu shouts again she's still holding my wig luckily I have short hair.

I leave them screaming at each other and walk back to my flat when I turn around Phila is standing at the gate looking at us. I wish the earth could just open up a whole and swallow me I slowly walk towards him I look at the time on my watch and it's 1pm already meaning we've missed the appointment.

"Come let's go " I say when I finally reach him he looks at me then at the two people fighting then me again

"Phila " I say

"Sissy" he answers in a low voice

"I'm sorry you had to see that " I say he doesn't answer me he picks up my handbag from the floor which he had dropped and he walks to the flat I don't understand him sometimes. I decide to sleep in for the rest of the day I skipped work any way because I needed to take Phila to the Doctor

I'm woken up by my phone ringing I check the caller ID it's Linda

*Hello *


*I'm sleeping *

*I'm about to board the plane now I should land in 2 hours should I send someone to pick you up *

*Pick me up?*

*I need to be with you tonight please*

*Send someone to pick me up after 10 *


I wouldn't call it fortune or being lucky because there's no such in this business but I can fairly say none of these men treat me like a prostitute because in all honesty what I do is glorified prostitution. Linda is a very sweet guy it's just a pity that I don't really care about that

he's new at this Game so at first he use to treat me like his girlfriend he'd send cute messages he'd want to cuddle after sex and have showers together. I fell for it I'd say we "dated " for a few months until I told him off the so called relationship would jeopardise my work.

I decide to get up from the bed and cook a light meal Phila food before I leave I always try to go after he falls asleep he doesn't wake up during the night so he hardly notices that I'm gone on occasions that I leave when he's still awake I tell him that I'm working at panarottis he's a child he believes me. It's even better when Mike is working nightshift he spends his shift watching my TV and eating my food.

I have a tendency of programming my mind to shut out some thoughts like what happened this afternoon i don't want to think about it Sibu had no right to talk to me like that but that's the thing with life we can't control what others say and do to us.

I've never told her about Lungelo so that's one thing I don't have to worry about imagine her swearing me and saying I'm paying for my sick boyfriend's medication a boyfriend that I "cheat on " with older men I know that's what I do but I don't want to hear it.

I'm in the kitchen making Chicken Ala King rice and roast veg I'm listening to music on Channel 0 singing along and dancing when my phone rings it's almost 8pm so I'm guessing it's Jackson or TK they are the people who call me a round this time on a Friday I don't recognize the number

*Pam Hello*

* Hi please don't hang up *

*Mehluli What do you want *

*I just wanted to find out if you're okay *

*I'm fine now bye *

*Nolwazi Please I love you *


*Please I just want us to talk cancel your appointment with that scumbag Linda *

*How do you know about that *

*Cancel it and I'll tell you*

*You don't get to tell me what to do How about you go back to your wife and leave me the hell alone*

People like Mehluli irritate my last nerve who does he think he is lately people just want to irritate me. I carry on cooking then my phone vibrates indicating a message

* I don't think Lungelo would handle the news of what you do very well. Meet me at Michelangelo Hotel in an hour .Ps Mehluli*

I drop everything I'm doing and slide down the wall until I'm sitting on the floor my body is shaking my head is spinning How did Mehluli find out about Lungelo nobody here knows about Lungelo not even Sibu and Mike.
This means Mehluli knows far more than I anticipated but how I only met him a few weeks ago and I'm certain that I've never seen him before.

"Sissy can I please have some food" says Phila running into the kitchen he rushes and sits on the floor next to me when he sees I'm sitting on the floor

"I'm almost done cooking " I say

"Is it girl sickness again ?" He asks this is how I like to sit when I'm on my periods it eases the pain a little

"Not really I just wanted to sit here I'm going to work tonight " I say I quickly send Linda an sms telling him I can't make it he immediately calls but I reject his call I know he'll put me in the dog box for a few weeks because of this meaning I have to buy my own flight tickets for next weekend.

"Is Bhut'Mike coming to stay with me ?" He asks

"Yes he is he'll be here before I leave " I say we stand up and I finish up my cooking then I dish up for him

"Finish up so I can tuck you in "I say

"You don't have to read me a story sissy " he says

I picked up this whole parenting thing at work in the stuff room my colleagues always share tips with each other about parenting therefore I also picked up a few things. I use to read him stories when he was younger whenever I was at home that time he still lived with my grandmother. I hardly ever do it now he's grown up for bedtime stories but now and again he asks me to read them for him.

"Did Charlotte tell you that bed time stories are for sissys" I ask he covers himself with his duvet and giggles

"I love you I'll see you in the morning " I say

I'm really not up for this I request an uber then I get dressed while waiting for it I wear Blue ripped jeans a white tank top and red platform heels.

*Come up to the penthouse floor 12 *

"You made it " he says

"I didn't have a choice " I answer he lends me to the in door pool and hands me a glass of champagne

"I've been longing for this moment for years now " he says I pour the champagne into the pool then I place the glass next to me and I look at him

"Should I get you something else I thought you liked champagne" he says with such panick

"Mehluli why am I here " I ask with raised eyebrows he keeps pacing up and down with whiskey in his hand. I quickly send Mike an sms

*If I'm not back in an hour come and get me *

This guy is really starting to freak me out he takes of his top then he jumps into the pool people with lots of money can be really weird

"I'll leave you to your swim then " I say standing up he jumps out immediately

"I'm just nervous please don't leave yet I swear I won't hurt you I just want us to talk " he says

"Talk " I say I'm putting on a brave face meanwhile I'm scared as hell now he walks away from me and gets his phone on the table

"Is Mike that gay friend of yours " he says looking at his phone

"He's my friend "I say

"I won't hurt you Nolwazi " he says I don't respond

"You're different Nolwazi I knew this the first day I saw you 3 years ago


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