Chapter 2

Sibu and I met about 3 years ago when all of this started I had just moved to JHB from home in KwaSanti Pinetown after my Boyfriend's parents got killed in front of him Lungelo suffered Clinical depression which lead to Dementia because of what he witnessed.

His Father was stinking rich but made enemies along the way including family members these enemies later on killed him and his wife In front of Lungelo their only child.

Lungelo and I met in high school grade 11 to be exact he went to Westville boys high school whilst I went to KwaSanti Secondary it was interschools spelling B competition I was representing my school and he was representing his. The spelling B competition went on until there were 5 of us left he was part of the 5 . I can't really remember what exactly happened but what I remember is the instant connection we had I was drawn to his calm soul men are never regarded as Beautiful but Lungelo was and still is beautiful.

After we finished Matric he got a bursary with Sasol to study engineering it's true what they say money attracts money . I didn't have a plan I wanted to find a job so I could help my grandmother with the finances at home but Lungelo pushed me to apply to study so we filled in our CAO forms together .I registered for BEd at UKZN whilst he registered for engineering also at UKZN . I didn't get NSFAS during my first year so Lungelo covered everything from my registration to textbooks everything. He'd pick me up in the morning drop me off on campus and fetch me in the afternoon.

Later in my first year I got a Job at a call centre things became easier with the finances at home but harder with balance because now I had to work and study.

Each year when I applied for NSFAS there was always something missing in my application or I submitted late so Lungelo helped out with everything until we got to third year and his parents got shot in front of him. Lungelo got sick and was admitted at ReLive Health institute for him to get medical treatment.

That's when I decided to quit school and work full time with an aim of later completing my degree. One day I decided that I'm going to Johannesburg to look for better work there my neighbor Thobeka lived in Johannesburg so I stayed with her for a few months until I got the Job at Edenvale Primary School as a grade RRR teacher I earned R4500 when I started. Thobeka later moved back home after losing her job. I did promotions during the weekends which supplemented my salary that's when I met Sibu we did promotions and modeling. I lost so much weight when I came to Johannesburg I went from a size 36 to a 30/32. Sibu and I grew closer together we were introduced to this life by the lady who headed the promotions.

Booty Shaking is a business transactions in Layman's terms we give sex they have money we don't date these men the rule is NEVER fall in love . Lungelo was the first person I've ever slept with I broke my virginity in first year the first time we had sex I fell pregnant but I miscarried in the first trimester. I didn't mourn the loss of my child partially because didn't have a connection with him partially because I was too busy trying to be someone in life.

The money comes in very handy at times especially when my grandmother was still alive God bless her beautiful soul oh what a lovely woman I'd send money home for her and Phila. Phila came to live with me 2 years ago when my grandmother passed on. She died in Philasande's arms.

I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to her she'd been calling for me the whole weekend but I had just met Linda a 45 year old stinking rich politician who paid nothing less R5000 for one round of sex. I still hate Myself so much for that Phila had to suffer the trauma of having his grandmother die in his arms While I was busy entertaining men.

"I'll get you coffee " Sibu says disturbing me from my thoughts and walks out

My phone rings I look at the caller ID and it's Jackson

*Hey Beautiful*

*Hi *

* You're okay? You sound out of it don't tell me you drank too much last night *

*I'm at the Hospital Phila is not well *

*Can I come through?*

*But Jackson we've spoken about this Phila is out of bound*

*I need you tonight*

*Where *

*Raddison Blue I'll send my driver to pick you up*

*Great got to go *

Mehluli walks in with two cups of coffee

"Coffee?" He says handing me the cup

"Needed this thanks how is my baby "I ask

"Strong young man Hay fever hit him hard he's awake now you can go see him " he says smiling

Its good to see you too Ntombi " Mehluli says Sibu laughs out loud who's Ntombi??

"I can't believe you Mehluli I just can't " she says She's now shouting on top of her voice everyone is looking at us now and I'm standing looking at them confused I let out a big sigh

"What's going on " I ask I'm naturally a soft and calm person you'd never hear me shouting or cursing

"This dog keeps me away from my Daughter him and his wife play happy families with My daughter MINE did you hear that Mehluli she's mine it's not my fault your fake wife can't have children " she screams Mehluli is looking at her and shaking his head

"Speedy recovery to the big guy got to go "he says to me and walks off

"Thanks" I say

"Yes run like the coward that you are you prick " Sibu Shouts

"Sibu what's going on " I ask again

"You know what I need alcohol and a lot of sex " she says and walks away

I have so much to deal with I don't have the energy for Sibu and her Drama. In the 3 years I've known her she's never mentioned a daughter.

I walk in Phila's room and I find him sleeping peacefully I sit on the bed next to him and cuddle

"I'm so glad you're okay Philasande you are my life I don't know what I would have done if you didn't make it "I say

"Sissy " he says in a low voice

"Hello big guy " I say

"Gogo says she misses us " he says

"Really ? How is she doing " I ask

"She's happy in heaven she was crying that I'm sick but I told her that I'm a big guy" he says I kiss his head and bring him closer to me

Phila has these moments of saying he spoke to our Grandmother I was so worried about him at one point I took him to a psychologist she said she highly believes Phila dreams of my grandmother and this is his way of grieving.

I cuddle Phila until we both fall asleep I'm woken up by my phone ringing


*The driver is on his way to pick you up wear that sexy black and red lace Lingerie*

*I'm leaving the hospital now I'll be at my place in 15 minutes*

I kiss Phila on the lips I grab my bag and walk to the entrance to catch the uber. I get to my place and freshen up I wear the Back and red lace lingerie as per Jackson's request I wear a red coat and my red bottoms.

"Jackson??" Mike says when he sees me walk out

"Yeah " I say

"That Jackson is making you lose your spark " he says since I met Jackson a few month ago I haven't been with too many people it's just him TK and Linda sometimes. Besides the fact that Jackson pays well I've reach a point where I want out of this life.

I've had to smuggle drugs for heaven's sake because of this life being at the wrong place at the wrong time is what happened basically oh and a greedy Raymond Mhlongo .Raymond was shot like a dog in front of Sibu and I a few months ago I got a slight wake up call after that incident I thought to myself struggling and fighting for survival is enough than this life I survived staying in Alex with Thobeka I could survive without the dirty money I get.

Jackson is a 46 year old business man he does everything from construction to drugs to property he's also a politician. He owns a mansion in Sandton a penthouse at the Radisson Blue Hotel here in JHB and property all over the country. I met him a few months ago at some golf event I went to with Thula I was at the bar getting something to drink while waiting for Thula to finish fighting with his ratchet wife in the car. He came up to me and asked if he could join me.

"A lady like you shouldn't sit alone can I join you?" he said

"I'm actually waiting for someone " I answered

"Who makes a lady like you wait can I join you?" he said

"I'm actually waiting for someone " I answered

"Who makes a lady like you wait Jackson Lerumo " he said reaching out for a handshake I returned the handshake

"Pamela " I said I never tell anyone my surname

"I'd like to see you again Pamela " he said

"Really what for ?" I asked he stood up and came near me he whispered in my ear

"I want to do more than just undress you with my eyes " he said he took out his business card and a few R200 notes and put it in between my boobs and with that he left. I sat there wondering if it's that obvious that I prostitute.

Within 15 minutes we drive into the hotel I take the lift and go up to his Penthouse I find him walking around the kitchen butt naked he's got a great body he goes to the Gym 3 times a week at least that's one thing I don't have to worry about. Vusi had a huge belly I hated every minute especially when I had to give him head he didn't even pay that well he was a lousy stingy old man.

With Jackson I'm usually done within an hour but today it takes 2 and a half hours he finally gets off me I walk to the bathroom to clean myself then I get dressed. In this business there are 3 rules NEVER fall inlove NEVER cuddle YOUR personal life stays personal.

I find him already dressed when I walk into the bedroom

"That was good Thank you "he says

"Tell your driver I'm ready "I say

"I thought you're staying for Dinner "he says I look at him with a raised eyebrow

"Okay I'll tell him you're ready " he says he hands me my R8000 in an envelope. Rent for this month is sorted my salary will have to cover Phila's hospital bill I find medical aid too expensive especially since Phila and I hardly get sick.

I get to my place and get into the shower I scrub myself until my skin turns red. I've been doing this for close to 2 years now but I always come back and scrub myself until my skin turns red I decide to soak my self in the bath tub I think about what happened at the hospital earlier between Sibu and Mehluli I still can't believe Sibu has a child.

I really hope Phila recovers by the end of this week I need to go to Durban this coming weekend to see Lungelo whenever I'm in Durban to visit Lungelo I book at a hotel my long uncle came home after my grandmother died and claimed the house to himself and his witch of a wife.

It's Friday afternoon Phila and I are getting ready to go to the airport Phila was discharged on Wednesday he has fully recovered now but he's such a baby he didn't want to stay behind unlike all the other times I go to Durban kids are emotionally draining. I love Philasande with all my being but at times I get really angry at my Mother for not fighting hard enough for making me a parent at just 15 years. In everything I do Phila comes first then Lungelo then myself.

We are standing outside the complex waiting for the airport shuttle while taking selfies Phila's idea he forgets that he's pretending to be sick.

Linda is some big shot at SAA so my flight ticket are always taken care off he even sends the shuttle to pick me up. Linda is always in and out of the country which is very great for me and my sanity because I hardly see him when he's around he spends most of his time with his family that's one thing I don't understand about him he's a very family oriented man so I don't know why he spends his money on girls like me.

We land in Durban at 8pm we request an uber to the hotel we had something to eat before we left the airport so we fall asleep immediately .I have a long day tomorrow visiting Lungelo is emotionally and mentally draining some days he doesn't even remember me on some days he's okay.

I drop Phila off at Gateway for a movie then I head to the centre. The money Lungelo parents left for him is slowly depleting so it doesn't cover all the costs for the centre that's why I have to cover some of it I pay anything between R1500-R3000 a month. At some point I feel like I'm doing this because I pity him and I feel like I owe him but deep down my heart I know that I love him he makes living worth it.

He looks fine today he hasn't shaved in a while though

"You haven't shaved " I say when I get to him we share a long hug

"Lwazi what's wrong you are losing weight " he says after the long heartfelt hug

"I've joined the Gym and I'm eating healthy " I say I don't want to bombard him with more problems then he already has .He doesn't know about me paying some of the fees the centre talks to me about everything since I'm the only person he has

"You still look beautiful though " he says I blush man I love this man I just wish he would recover already and come back to me

"Thank you Ndabezitha" I say

We spend 3 hours talking hugging kissing and laughing. Visiting hours are over so it's time to go now.

"I'm going to come back to you Nolwazi you'll gain all the weight back I'll take care of you like I promised " he says

"I love you Lungelo please fight for me fight for us I know you can do it you'll be okay right ? " I say

"I'll be okay pass my greeting to Phila Tell him to look after you till I get back " he says I laugh we hug for the hundredth time

I love being in Durban even if it's only for one day I love the escape from my life. It's Monday morning and we are on our way to the bus stopI'm accompanying Phila to school today he missed a week of school last week so I just want to make sure everything is okay. When we landed last night I switched my phone off I'm not ready to face my reality yet my reality of sleeping with men old enough to be my Father.

"If you don't feel fine Tell the Teacher to call me okay " I say

"I'm going to chess practice after school will you please fetch me " He says he doesn't pay attention to what I just said he loves school so much.

"Okay I'll be here at 3:30pm sharp I love you bye" I say he runs off before I can give him a hug

Monday's are always a drag at least it's the last period and fortunately for me I'm done for the day I'm just waiting for 2:30pm so I can knock off. I work as a Teacher's assistant at Bedford Gardens Preparatory Academy. I'm sitting in the staff room listening to music and marking Jason walks in and sits next to me

"This is where you are" he says Jason started working here a few months ago as a computer teacher

"Yeah whatsup" I say closing the books in front of me

"I have tickets for the cricket match this weekend at wanderers I've heard you say your child loves cricket " he says most people know that Phila is my child I'd rather people judge me for having a child at 15 than pity for being an orphan who's raising her brother I hate people who pity me.

"Really ?? " I say with a big smile

"Yeah you can have them it's parents anniversary dinner this weekend so I wasn't going to go any way " he says

"You are the sweetest Jay Thanks man " I say fist pumping him Jason is 21 he just finished varsity. He had this cute crush on me when he started here it was so funny I enjoyed it while it lasted but he was starting to catch feeling so I told him off in a polite way so now we are good friends.

At 3:30 Jason drops me off at Phila's school as I'm waiting for him a red Ford mustang parks next to me the person inside rolls down the window and it's Thula.

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