“Zee WAKE UP WAKE UP” someone shouts while shaking me I slowly open my eyes it doesn’t bother me anymore when I hear panic in someone’s voice while shaking me to wake up

“Was it the dream again “She asks I slowly nod with tears streaming down my face? .After 10 years I still cry as if it happened yesterday.

It’s been 10 years but it feels new every time I dream about. It is 2 episodes in my life that happened one happened ten years ago and one happened 3 years ago. I have been dreaming about them since the day they happened.

“Zee “she says and looks at me with so much worry in her eyes

“Palesa I know” I respond because I know very well what she is about to say

‘You need to see someone a shrink or psychologist someone I don’t know ‘she always says.For the past 5 years she has been saying that. I tried it once and hated every minute of it

not that I told her much I just hated the questions.

‘So how did that make you feel? ‘

‘What went through your mind when it happened?’

I hated every single minute of it how I managed to listen to her for a whole hour is still a mystery.

I slowly get off the bed grab the gown on the couch and walk to the balcony. I feel Palesa’s eyes on me.

“I will give it another try I promise” I say

“You have been giving it a try for the past 5 years now. The time you went once doesn’t count Zee and know it “she says handing me my phone which is ringing

“It’s Tshepo “she says I cringe  

“Answer it otherwise it will be guns blazing in this entire lodge. I still don’t know why you are marrying this monster Ziphezinhle” she says irritated.

After listening to Tshepo threatening me I grab an open bottle of champagne that I find on the table and down it I have a banging headache from last night. It is supposedly my bridal shower weekend therefore Palesa and I are in Sun City she insisted we do something even though she hates Tshepo as much as I do as well as the idea of marrying him.


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