It's Saturday morning Luhle and I are on the way to Pietermaritzburg when I woke up in the morning my heart was heavy and I've been crying since I woke up I'm happy excited and scared. Luhle has tried everything to get me to stop crying he keeps telling me that I have to be strong and not break down in front of them I haven't seen them in almost 2 years and it's only now that I'm feeling the pain of missing them.
I must have fallen asleep because I'm woken up by Luhle shaking me.
"MaMlilo wake up we are here " he says holding my hands "You need to be strong my love I'll be there with you every step of the way okay? You know I love you and I hate seeing you cry " he says hugging me for the hundredth time
"Thank you baby let's do this “I say getting off the car.
My tears just fall hysterically when I see them walking towards me I can't help it I'm crying loudly and Luhle is hugging me tightly. Okwami has grown up so much her front teeth are missing Amandla looks older than me she's gained so much weight and she even has breasts now. They start running to me as soon as they spot me we hug tightly for what seems like a lifetime. Amandla is crying hysterically and holding onto me for dear life Okwami has forgotten about me already because she's playing with Luhle on the swings.
"Don't cry sis I'm here now don’t cry baby please " I say hushing her down while wiping my tears which keep falling.
"I've missed you so much sis I thought I'd never see you again are you here to take us home?" She says in between her tears
"Not as much as I've missed you. Not yet baby but I'll take you guys soon very soon. I am still trying to get a better Job so I can take care of you guys" I say
We spend the whole morning with them talking and catching up. Amandla says they are not being treated badly but there are too many of them so at times it gets difficult. She still loves school one of the care givers told me she got a scholarship to study in one of the English schools in Durban because of her high marks. Okwami Is too young to understand anything my poor niece is just a happy child. We are told that visiting times are over so we say our goodbyes to the kids and we leave.
I am in a better mood than I was when we were coming here I'm laughing and singing along to the radio as we drive to Durban Carol has already called and gave us her address. In an hour's time we are driving through a beautiful gate and enter a beautiful yard with a double story house in the middle. We park the car and walk towards the door we knock once and Carol opens.
"Hello please come in" she says making way for us to walk past
"Hello Carol this is my friend Luhle I hope you don't mind that I came with him "I say
"No no not at all welcome to my home this is where I grew up Many many years ago "she says walking us to the living room. She introduces us to her parents children and husband.
"It's a pleasure to meet all of you " I say after I finish shaking everyone's hand.
Carols twins are so good looking it is hard to believe that they are 12 years old they are very tall. I can't help notice the weird looks her Mother is giving me at that moment she starts crying hysterically. Luhle and I look at each other confused actually everyone in this room is as confused as us.
I am starting to get uncomfortable especially because I don't know why
this woman is crying. She stands up and walks towards me and she
squeezes me. She finally let’s go of me and walks back to her seat.
“This is the lovely girl I was telling you about “Carol says
“It’s good to finally see you “her husband says I smile shyly. Carols mother asks to be excused and she stands up and walks up the stairs. Luhle and I keep looking at each other I feel so out of place. Two ladies walk in and start setting the table while we are all just having small conversations Carol calls us to the table to the Table and we all start eating.
‘’Can I please use the ladies “I say.
“Up the stairs second door to your right” Carol says
As I walk towards the toilet I hear people talking one of them is crying
“You can’t ask her now; you will scare her away “the man says
“She deserves to know “the woman says
“I know sweetheart I know but we are not sure about it and Carol has no idea does she “the man again
“She was too young back then it’s been almost 20 years “the woman says
Someone touches my shoulder I jump of fear I turn around and its Luhle “are you okay I was getting worried “he says
“I am not okay we need to leave “I say he gives me a questioning look I nod then we follow each other down the stairs
“I am afraid something just came up we have to leave “Luhle says
“It’s not a problem thank you again for coming I will call you “Carol says I smile then Luhle and I walk out. I can’t shake the feeling that the conversation I overheard has got something to do with me I don’t know how but I feel like that. The way her mother cried when she saw me tells me something.
“What’s wrong why did you want us to leave so suddenly did something happen when you went to the toilet “Luhle says
“Can you please wake me up when we get to my place I will tell you later please don’t force me to talk “I say
I wake up when I feel the car stopping I look around and we are in the parking lot at Luhles flat I don’t say anything I get out of the car and head straight to the bedroom I don’t even take off my clothes I get under the covers. Luhle gets in to bed a few minutes later and holds me tightly everything doesn’t make sense for now but I am hoping it will soon I do not need any more problems in my life.
I am the first one to get up actually I was woken up by my phone ringing I don’t recognize the caller ID
*Hi Yesintu my parents and I are in Port Shepstone we will like to see you urgently *
*Please give me an hour *
I drop the call I look at the time and it is just after 9 I wake Luhle up “Please wake up we have visitors “I say he jumps up the bed
“Visitors “he says rubbing his eyes I tell him about yesterday first
“So now they are here and want to see me “I say
“Hear them out babe maybe you just reminded them about something that happened in the family “he says
After an hour Carol his parents and husband walk in. “Come in and have a seat “ I say
“We are sorry to come unannounced like this you must have noticed my wife’s behavior yesterday there is something we believe you have to know but first can we ask you a view questions? “Carols Father says carol and her mom are quiet they are not even looking at me they are facing down.
“Yes you can ask me “I say
“Are your parents still alive?” I respond
“No Sir both my parents passed away “I say her mom starts crying again
“I believe your Mother is still alive “he says
"I'm sorry for crying like that and I'm sorry to ask you this but I have to do you mind taking out your jacket for me " Carols mom says