(After my son left I ran to my room and I locked my door. I took out Mehluko's pictures and I cried uncontrollably. Nkos'inami was busy knocking on my door)
Nkos'inami : maZulu open this door
Moy'omuhle : Go away Nkosi
(There was silence and a few minutes later the door opened. I don't know where he got the spare key from. He locked the door and sat down on the floor next to my bed.)
Nkos'inami : You need to go downstairs. maSkhosane needs help.
Nkos'inami : Do you blame me for this whole thing?
Moy'omuhle : Ndosi why can't you defend my son during these quarrels? You want him to accept you but you are the one who is pushing him away.
Nkos'inami : How am I pushing him away? maZulu you want me to watch that boy disrespecting me in front of everyone and do nothing? Didn't you tell me that you don't want him to know how his father died?
Moy'omuhle : I did but indlela owenza ngayo angithandi.
(He stood and he looked at me. I saw anger)
Nkos'inami : What the fuck do you want me to do? I'm trying to support you here but you are blaming me for everything!
Moy'omuhle : I'm not blaming you. All I'm asking is for you to support Celwenkosini too. He needs a father figure someone who will defend him. Someone who will take his side no matter what. How you and Muz'okhulile spoke to my son yelling at him like that over a jacket is not on.
Nkos'inami : Is that Mehluko's picture?
Moy'omuhle : Yes
Nkos'inami : Why are you doing this to me Moy'omuhle? Do you even consider my feelings every time you do all these things?
Moy'omuhle : What things Nkos'inami? You know what please leave before you and I start fighting.
Nkos'inami : Give me that picture?
(I know what he wants to do with it. Over my dead body)
Moy'omuhle : No!! This is Celwe's gift from Luyanda
Nkos'inami : Stop lying to me!! This is your gift! When will you ever stop behaving like a widow? Moy'omuhle I'm your husband. What about me? Will you ever love me like you did with Mehluko?
Moy'omuhle : You will never be Mehluko. Never!!!!
(A slap across my face. I felt dizzy)
Moy'omuhle : Nkos'inami what have you done?
Nkos'inami : I'm tired of your nonsense Moy'omuhle!... Fuck! look what you made me do. Dammit I love you Moy'omuhle. Why can't you see that?
Moy'omuhle : Get out Nkosi
Nkos'inami : No. I'm not going anywhere! Tell me that you don't love me anymore. Tell me and I will go
(I want to tell him I don't but I can't. I love Nkos'inami but not as much as I loved Mehluko and I don't want to lose him right now. I drove him to this behavior and I understand his frustrations)
Moy'omuhle : I can't
Nkos'inami : Say it Moy'omuhle! Say you don't love me anymore!
(He pressed his hand on my cheeks and the pain was unbearable. Why did nobody come to knock on the door)
Moy'omuhle : I love you (I said tears running down my face)
Nkos'inami : You do?
Moy'omuhle : Yes (I whispered)
Nkos'inami : Show me how much you love me sthandwa sami. Show me Mageba
(He kissed me. His hands were all over my body. He craved for me. It's been a while since we traveled this road but the timing was wrong. I was supposed to feel my husband but tears were running out the corners of my eyes. He rested his forehead on mine and he kissed me)
Nkos'inami : I love you
(I faked a smile)
Moy'omuhle : I love you too
(Olwethu's daughter Itumeleng was knocking)
Itumeleng : Koko open the door
(She called me Koko. Yes I was that old to those kids)
Moy'omuhle : I'm coming baby
Nkos'inami : These kids need to stop calling you Koko. You are not a grandmother
Moy'omuhle : I am Ndosi and you are their grandfather
(He smiled and looked into my eyes)
Nkos'inami : I'm sorry sthandwa sami
Moy'omuhle : When are you going to stop? Nkosi I told you how I grew up with my step father hitting my mother and you want me to go through the same thing. Mehluko never laid his hand on me Nkos'inami
(He got out of bed and wore his clothes. He walked out. Maybe I shouldn't have said the last part. I got out of bed and took a shower. I did that a lot after we made love. I joined the family and Nkos'inami looked at me under his cap he was holding Lethokuhle)
Mabaso : Makoti is everything ok?
Moy'omuhle : Yebo Mntungwa
Mabaso : Don't worry about Nkosini. He was just angry but he will come back home soon
(Muzi was very silent and he kept clenching his jaws.)
Lindeka : Muzi maybe you need to follow him
Luyanda : Muzi!!!
Muzi : What? Nithini?.... Ey Nkosi I need to talk to you now.
Lindeka : I'm still talking to you baba ka Mabutho
Muzi : I can't talk now. Nkosi let's go
(Nkos'inami gave Lethokuhle to Luyanda and they walked out. Mabaso laughed out loud )
Mabaso : Asha amadamu anamanzi. Kuyozwakala
Mabutho : What are you talking about mkhulu?
Mabaso : Nothing...Noooothing
(Mabaso was starting with his drama and I wasn't interested)
Moy'omuhle : Mabutho where are the chickens?
Mabutho : Chickens? Damn! they were at Nkosini's car uhambe nazo
Mabaso : Mehluko doesn't want this whole thing
Moy'omuhle : What do you mean Mntungwa? Those chickens had nothing to do with baba ka Celwe
Mabaso : If you say so. Let me go to my house
Moy'omuhle : Asikakadli nje Mntungwa
Mabaso : Rebecca knows how to cook. Nisale kahle
Luyanda : Baba please don't go
(Mabaso walked out and I sighed)
Mabutho : Ay othi ngishayele u beer
Olwethu : Please bring my six pack
Lindeka : Who wants to cook?
Luyanda : I'll order.
Moy'omuhle : Mabutho please bring my wine
(All eyes on me. I don't give a damn)
Luyanda : Please eat first dadewethu
Moy'omuhle : I don't want food right now Luh.
Lindeka : Uzobuya u Nkosini
Moy'omuhle : I'm losing my son Lee. I'm losing Celwe
Lindeka : No Moya. Don't say that
(Mabutho came back with alcohol and we started drinking except for Luyanda)
Mabutho : Baphi obaba?
Lindeka : Somewhere planning to kill people
Lindeka : And your father will be sweating all night having nightmares. (She laughed) Igazi lomuntu liyakhuluma
Luyanda : Usudakwe kahle ke manje mam'Lee
(We all laughed)
Moy'omuhle : Don't you guys wish that Mehluko was still here? My man was so funny. He made me laugh
Luyanda : You know him more than any of us here
Moy'omuhle : Yazi sometimes I just want to have a meeting with God and just look at him and ask him why exactly he did this to me.
(Luyanda moved from her couch and she sat next to me. She held me tight)
Luyanda : It's going to be ok mntakababa
Moy'omuhle : When Luh? You don't know what I'm going through. Maybe Mehluko is punishing me ngokushada no mzala wakhe
Lindeka : They are guilty
(Lindeka laughed and finished her glass of wine)
Moy'omuhle : Who is guilty?
Mabutho : Ay ay senidakiwe nina. Let me go
Lindeka : Take your kids to your father's house.
Mabutho : Uzonqaba ubaba nemoto
Lindeka : Are you drunk?
Mabutho : No
Lindeka : Take the keys and go home
Olwethu : Mabutho if you value your life don't do it. Uyamazi ubaba so don't listen to Mah
Lindeka : He is going to kill him. Muzi kills everyone but yabo ngalokhu akwenza uyazisola. Akakwazi nokulala
(Lindeka wants to tell us something but no one is paying attention to her because almost everyone is drunk here)
Olwethu : I want to dance now
Mabutho : Where is the remote oledi?
Moy'omuhle : There it is…Please play X Ambassadors
Olwethu : Don't do it Mabutho. She wants to cry
Luyanda : Mholi is outside good people.. It's time for me to love you and leave you
Moy'omuhle : Tell him to come in
Luyanda : Hha! Uyasaba
Olwethu : Scared of what? Obaba abekho mos. Tell him to come in
Mabutho : He wasn't scared of impregnating you and now he is scared of coming in?
Luyanda : Mabutho I'm old njalo… I'll tell him to come in
(She laughed and stood up)
Moy'omuhle : Lee are you sleeping?
Lindeka : Ubani? Angidakwa ngilale mina
Mabutho : She is lying ulele
Olwethu : Ah kodwa u Nkosini uhambeleni nje? Yazi I missed him so much
Mabutho : We need to visit him
Moy'omuhle : I hate indlela ahambe ngayo
(Luyanda walked in)
Luyanda : Ay u Holi refused to come in. He is scared of Nkosini's dog
Lindeka : Ulindeleni enganeni ka mfundisi
(We laughed. Mholi's father was a pastor. He was very shy and sometimes I wondered how he handled Luyanda's attitude)
Olwethu : Are you going to leave your car?
Luyanda : No. He came with Uber. Sohamba ngayo
Moy'omuhle : Ok. When am I going to see you again?
Luyanda : Soon sisi. Ngiya kwi leave nje kungekdala
Moy'omuhle : Ok. Take care of yourself
Luyanda : Will d….Hold on a sec what happened to your face?
(Damn! I touched my face and faked a smile)
Moy'omuhle : What?
Luyanda : You look…
Moy'omuhle : Nothing. Please go Holi is waiting for you.
Luyanda : sisi are you sure that everything is ok?
Moy'omuhle : Yes. You know how sensitive my skin is so maybe it's something I used
Luyanda : I see. Bye everyone
Bye (We all said)
(She walked out and I took a deep breath. I couldn't handle anymore drama. I had enough for one day)
On the edge of my seat