(We buried my father and Baba u Manqoba forced me to drop out of school and look after my grandmother who was sick because Aunt Lulekiwe made it clear that she won't be able to take care of my grandmother. Her excuse was "My job requires a lot of time". So I dropped out but 4 months later my grandmother passed away. Everyone that I love left me at the age of 16. Year 2000 taught me to be a man at a very young age just as my mother predicted before she burned to death)
(I'm in pieces it's tearing me up but I am man and men don't back downthey keep going just as my father said.Now I only have Zinzi.My Sunflower She wears rose-colored glasses when it comes to life. She is an amazing young woman and sometimes I wish I can see the world as she does.)
(I continued to look after my grandmother's house after her death. I had nothing but at least Baba u Mthunzi sent me R300 every month)
Zinzi : When are you coming back home?
Kwalunga : I can't sthandwa sami you know the story.
Zinzi : Lunga Life is based on how you look at it it is really not that bad.
(She said moving her hands through the air as she always does.)
Kwalunga : I know but I will come back some other time. LookSunflower. I want a life with you not with those people.
Zinzi : Those people (She emphasized) are your family Lunga.
Kwalunga : Then I guess I don't have a family
Zinzi : Don't say that Lunga please
Kwalunga : I'm sorry but it's true. Zinzi you have no idea what those people did to me
(She is silent)
Kwalunga : I have an interview tomorrow
Zinzi : That's nice where?
Kwalunga : e Pinetown. It's a new company for Italians
(Her eyes are wide open)
Zinzi : No Lunga how much do you know about that company?
Kwalunga : I don't need to know anything about them I just need a job Zinzi and it's not like I have matric so I'll just take any job that comes my way.
Zinzi : What is the name of the company?
Kwalunga : True Red Investigators
Zinzi : Investigators? (She is shocked)
Kwalunga : Yes
Zinzi : So what are you going to do there?
Kwalunga : I'll do the cleaning
Zinzi : Ok I understand.
Kwalunga : I promise you my Sunflower one day I will get a better job and I will take you to university.
(Zinzi was a bright kid at school but in matric she felt sick and she was in and out of hospitals. She did pass her matric but not enough to get a bursary as she wished)
(I was so scared and I thought I was going to lose her)
Zinzi : I know you will my love (She smiled)
Kwalunga : Good my love (She smiled)
Kwalunga : Good now let's go to bed. I have an interview tomorrow. (I laughed)
Zinzi : Tomorrow I am going back home.
Kwalunga : So soon?
Zinzi : Lunga I have already spent 3 days with you and if I stay one more day then I swear my mom will kill me.
(I kissed her from her lips down to her neck.It's been six years and it was time I entered my territory. I ran my hand to her breast and she pushed it away)
Zinzi : No.
Kwalunga : Why not? Zinziit's been six years. I need you Sunflower
Zinzi : I'm not ready to have sex.
(I clenched my teeth and sighed. Zinzi is being ridiculous right now.)
Kwalunga : Zinzi come on we are both adults here. Will you ever be ready?
Zinzi : Not anytime soon. Please respect that.
Kwalunga : Ok.
(I said and walked straight to my room)
Zinzi : I was raped by my father.
(I was shocked. I slowly turned my face and Zinzi was leaning on a door frame tears streaming down her face.)
Zinzi : I told him to stop I told him to stop but he forced his dick inside me. I can still smell his breath. The smell of nicotine. I told him countless times to stop but he kept coming back and back.
(There is anger in her tone and I don't know how to react.)
Kwalunga : I'm sorry Zinzi I really am sorry.
Zinzi : You have to believe me Lunga. Please believe me.
Kwalunga : Of course I believe you Sunflower come here.
Zinzi : Nobody believed me. Even after that bastard committed suicide and left a note with all the things he did to me still nobody believed me instead they accused me of killing him.My mother believed that I was the one who wrote that note.
(I hugged her. I wanted to take her pain and make it mine. I wanted to extricate her from the anger and fear.)
Zinzi : Have sex with me. Come and sleep with me Lunga.
(She said undressing herself. Tears running down her face.)
Kwalunga : Stop Zinzi just stop.
Zinzi : What? You don't want me now? Do I disgust you because I just told you that I was raped? Is th…
Kwalunga : No. Zinzi I love you so much. We will have sex when the time is right. You need to heal and I will give you all the time in the world to do soI'm not going anywhere.
Kwalunga : Come let's go to bed and get some sleep.
(How do I take her pain and make it mine? How do I change her past and make her feel better?)
Great story looking forward to more inserts.