I love being pregnant. It seems the pregnancy gods have been quite generous. I am halfway through my second trimester and all seems to be going good. Except maybe my craving for chilli things. Everything has to have chilli sauce even something as simple as a sandwich. I know disgusting but what baby wants baby gets.

And thanks to this baby my libido has shot up to its ultimate high. And right now I just put Theo to bed and I am laying on the bed with my clit throbbing but my stupid husband is not home to quench the fire burning between my thighs. I call him and he picks up just before the call goes to voicemail.

Philani: "Hey baby."
Me: "Where are you and when are you coming home?" He laughs.
Philani: "Let me guess theres a fire that needs quenching."
Me: "Please come home." I say pretending to sob.
Philani: "You know I am beginning to feel used. These days I am like your obedient side dish that has to be readily available for sex."
Me: "Would you rather I have a side dish to help you?" He laughs.
Philani: "Stop trying to threaten me it won't work."
Me: "Why?"
Philani: "Because you are way too stubborn for your own good no sane man can put up with your crazy ass." The bedroom door opens and he walks in looking all types of delicious. "Besides that he wouldn't live long enough to get your panties off." I get up from the bed and throw myself at him.
Me: "I am so happy to see you."
He carries me to the bed and lays me down while planting kisses all over me.
Philani: "I have something to tell you." He says between kisses.
Me: "What?"
Philani: "Your family representative he said he was a Gozolo (head negotiator) went to Mandawe to deliver a stick stating how many cows your father wants for you so next week we are going to your home to deliver the cows." I stop moving my hands all over him.
Me: "But what about negotiating. Isnt that supposed to happen first?"
Philani: "I dont know I dont care all I know is that next week we are delivering cows to your father and apparently we need to get there Friday before midnight." He gets up and takes off his suit. I sit up on the bed and watch him. Once he is fully naked he walks to the bathroom and has a shower. I decide to call my dad.

Dad: "Hey princess." I laugh that has become my nickname that my dad uses no matter how many times I tell him I am grown now.
Me: "You do know grown people like me aren't called princess anymore."
Dad: "Well I never got to call you princess when you were little so I am making up for lost time." I smile and just shake my head.
Me: "Okay then so Philani tells me they are coming home next weekend."
Dad: "Yes they are which is why you need to be home atleast by Wednesday cause I know you have to work."
Me: "You know he is Zulu right. I am not sure how things will be done."
Dad: "That will be discussed next weekend when both families are here in terms of what needs to be done going forward." I nod my head as if he can see me.
After discussing everything he let me talk to my grandmother. I miss them but i will see them next week so it's good.

I hang up and wait for Philani to finish with his shower. He comes out with a towel around his waist and throws himself on the bed.

Me: "Are you hungry? I can make you something."
Philani: "No I am good I had something at my dads." He takes a deep breath. "I found out something."
Me: "What?"
Philani: "Rafael and Raul are missing?"
Me: "What?"
Philani: "Yeah. Apparently they have been missing for a while."
Me: "Do you think they are coming to get Theo?"
Philani: "I wouldn't put it past Rafael but Raul swore he wanted to keep him safe too so he might not come here."
Me: "Philani........"
Philani: "Relax I already have guards waiting for you. I am not going to let anything happen to you or Theo. I promise!" He lifts himself up and plants a very passionate kiss on my lips. "Now let's quench that thirst you had." I smile as I allow him to distract me. Scared as I am about the Rodriguez brothers suddenly going MIA I have faith and trust that my husband will protect our son.



I woke up early in the morning careful not to wake Lando up. I took a quick shower and wore some brown chinos and a black golf tshirt and some sneakers. I drove to the Lounge where I was meeting the squad. I got there and Sbu was already waiting inside so we waited for the others. Eventually they showed up.

Nate: "Gentlemen we are gathered here today to officially handover the running of our enterprise to the one and only Razor Blade Mogale and Sbusiso Matrix Mashaba." Razor and Sbu mock bowed and we laughed.
Lindani: "I cant believe the ride is coming to an end."
Razor: "Not technically." We laugh again.
Me: "Seriously though what are we going to do with all this free time?"
Nate: "Well you have a wife and kid and another on the way. You have a wedding to plan so you are good. Lindani has finally handed in his player card even though he is yet to get laid." We laugh but Lindani doesn't.
Lindani: "Please leave me and my blue balls alone."
Nate: "Sizwe has a girlfriend which I still dont understand how she agreed to be yours is still a mystery to everyone."
Sbu: "The answer to that is simple Mhlab'uyalingana." We all burst out laughing.
Sizwe: "Really Trevor Noah wheres your girlfriend?"
Me: "And then theres you mlungu Omnyama when are you officially wifing Buli."
Nate: "Ah ah dont rush me. Let's focus on you for now. So what's happening with the Rodriguez brothers?" We all turned to look at Sbu since he has been trying to trace them since we found out they were missing.
Sbu: "Well my guy in Miami hasn't found anything. Its honestly like they just evaporated. None of their credit cards have been used in three days their passports have not been stamped."
Me: "What if they are using false passports and cash instead of cards?"
Sbu: "They could be but we have hacked into many of the street cameras all over the States but nothing has popped up yet."
Me: "You will let us know when something comes up right?"
Sbu: "Will do."
Me: "Gentlemen I have to go to work. We will talk later." We fist bumped and I left.

I decided to go past chicken licken to get wings for Lando. I then went to KFC and got more wings since she sometimes cant decide what she wants. I got home and found her in the kitchen feeding Theo.

Me: "Hi baby." I kissed her on the cheek.
Lando: "What did you bring me?"
Me: "Wow. No hello hubby how are you today?" She smiles grabs my face and kisses me all over. She let's go after perking my lips.
Lando: "Now what did you bring me?" I give up. I hand her the chicken licken and she looks like she is about to cry.
Me: "Baby what's wrong? You dont want them?"
Lando: "No they are fine thanks I just wanted dunked wings." I see a tear fall from her eye. I take a deep breath and just remind myself that I have 4 more months to go and I am home free. I give her the KFC packet and her face lights up.
Lando: "You are the best husband ever." She kisses me before taking a dunked wing and throwing it in her mouth. She closes her eyes as she savors the wing like it's got some magic in it. Women are so dramatic.



My girls are coming over to my place well Nate's place but you know. Anyways we are having a mini celebration my sister wrote her final examination yesterday soon she will be getting her LLB degree and her path to independence becomes brighter and shinier.

I decided to get a caterer who provided all her favorites and I even bought a whole lot of champagne even non-alcoholic one since Lando is pregnant. All my friends have babies and I have decided I will be the cool aunt who spoils their kids. Motherhood is not in my cards. Having had a mother like mine can put anyone off of having kids.

I hear the doorbell ring and I literally run to open the door. I see my sister and we just scream and run into each others arms. We hug for a while and somehow the tears flow happy tears though. We pull apart and look at each other and smile and then hug again before I pull her into the house.

Me: "I am so proud of you." She laughs.
Nqobile: "Calm down it's too early to celebrate." I just roll my eyes.
Me: "If you weren't as smart as you are then I would believe that. But this is you we are talking about I know you will ace that exam and then you will be a step closer to being free."

The doorbell rings and before I can even answer it Lando and Faith walk in. Lando has a gavel in her hand and Faith has a Judges robe on. I wonder where they got that. Even before anyone can say anything Faith drapes the robe around Nqobile and Lando hands her the gavel. She laughs and looks at me but I just shrug.

Nqobile: "Guys what's this?"
Faith: "For the future supreme court judge."
Nqobile: "You do know I want to be a lawyer not a judge right?"
Lando: "Every judge had to study law and become a lawyer before they became judges."
Nqobile: "Can we atleast try and aim for magistrate supreme court seems so far away."
Me: "Please not that theres anything wrong with being a magistrate but that will just be a step towards the top."
Nqobile: "Thank you guys for your faith in me. I really appreciate it." We group hug.
Lando: "Okay I am hungry what is eatable in this house?" She asks walking to the kitchen. She comes back with a plate full of food you would think she doesn't get fed at her own house the way she eats. We decide to also dish up as well. We eat our food and pop the champagne and dance around the lounge.

After sometime we throw ourselves on the couch and watch a movie. We hear the doorbell ring and Faith goes to open since she is close to the door. She comes back and sits down on the couch. I look behind her and see my mother walk into my house. I get up and look at her. What is she doing here?

Me: "Ma what are you doing here?" She walks over to me and slaps the shit out of me. Nqobile quickly gets up and stands between us and Lando and Faith do the same.
Ma: "Your brother is languishing in jail and you two are busy throwing parties. How selfish can you two be?"
Nqobile: "Hhaybo mama what do you expect us to do go babysit him in jail?"
Ma: "Dont try me Nqobile. Your sister could have done something but she chose not to."
Nqobile: "You mean the same way you chose not to do anything when utata sold her off to the highest bidder? Or when you said nothing when he sold me off?" She chuckles.
Ma: "You are full of shit Nqobile. You have a husband who provides you with everything you want. You drive a nice car live in a fancy home and you are going to act like what Nqoba is going through is a game. Really Nqobile? Really?" I pull myself out of the zombie state I have been in since that hot slap and look straight at my mother after moving the girls from standing between us.
Me: "You know you are the selfish one. Nqobile is right you dont care about us you promised when you married dad that you would love and protect both Nqobile and Nqoba like they are your own flesh and blood instead you let dad force her into marrying a man she didnt love and you babied Nqoba to such a point that he cant even think for himself a grown man like him still putting his hand out for daddy dearest to take care of him. Well newsflash mummy your husband is gone and Nqoba needs to grow some balls and face this like a man." She looks at me shocked as if she is digesting all that I have said. "Can i get him out of jail? Yes. Do I want to get him out of jail? Heck no. So if you are here to plead on his behalf I would suggest you go back home cause it won't happen."

She clears her throat like she is getting ready to say something but doesn't say it. And then I remember she didnt tell us why she was here her little rant only happened because we were having fun.

Nqobile: "Why are you here mama?"
Ma: "We need money for food and school fees for the kids." I laugh.
Me: "Of course that's all I am to you a cash cow. The only time you even think about calling or visiting me is when you need money. Really ma? Is that all I am to you?"

She says nothing and I can feel the tears threatening to fall. I rush upstairs to our bedroom. I open the safe and take out two stacks of cash amounting to fifty thousand rands. I close the safe and go back downstairs. I shove the money in her hands.

Me: "Consider this the last money you will ever receive from me. From this day forward dont ever ask me for shit. I am done paying for you to give a shit about me I didnt ask to be born you made that choice. Now please leave my house and never set foot here until you decide to actually be a real mother to us."

She takes the money and shoves it in her bag before walking out. The mood in the room has changed from happy to somber. We sit back down and sip on our drinks in silence like we just smoked a joint.

Lando: "Some say a mother's love is a divine blessing others have testified to it. So what did we do wrong to be given such shitty mothers?" She asks to no one in particular. Or maybe she is just thinking out loud. But she has a point though not many people talk about toxic mother's and their effect on their children and yet we live it every single day. Maybe someday God will reveal to us why he entrusted us to these women until then we live our best lives and be happy.

I get up and take the champagne and fill everyone's glass. They look at me like I have lost my mind.

Me: "What we won't do is allow that woman to ruin this day. Today is about you Nqobile and no one else." They smile and get up with their glasses raised. "To the most amazing woman I have ever had the privilege to know to the strides that await you and to your bright ass future I have my shades ready." They laugh. "But seriously though I love you." We toast and get into a group hug.

This right here is what I hope my own daughter gets to experience should I decide to have one. A love so strong that no one can break it.


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