Death be not proud. People say that all the time when someone's life is cut short. Truth is I will never be able to understand that because death didnt kill those people sicknesses did or accidents or even other people and death just became their final destination. So in this case I would say Rafael be not proud.

I stood next to the small tent meant for family and watched as my sisters coffin made it's way down to the ground. This was it the last level. Like in any good game there is a level where you have to defeat the big boss or monster or whatever. Some people defeat the monster and get a second chance and even move to a whole new level and others lose and that annoying sound that signals game over comes on and its annoying and defeating. Right now that is the sound I keep on hearing except it's not my life that's ended but my sister's. I should have helped her defeat the monster I should have helped her fight that monster but I failed and now it's over. All her dreams and plans are now buried six feet under inside her coffin. I failed her.

I dont know when everyone left but when I looked around it was just my friends and I. We sat down under the tent with our eyes fixed on the mound of dirt that covered my sister. It felt like it was just a dream. I wiped the tears that kept falling. I know they say man dont cry but at this moment none of us cared. Qhawekazi had become a little sister to each and everyone sitting in this tent we vowed to protect each other and all that concerns us our families had become one big family we loved each other and we promised to always look out for each other and right this moment we had just buried a member of our family. The anger in all of us could not be missed the sense of failure we felt at that moment could not be erased but the guilt was even worse.

After a while we got up and got into our cars and drove to the Biyela family home in Mandawe. It was buzzing with people who had come to mourn with us. As crazy as Kazi was she was loved the speeches people made were heartfelt and sincere or maybe it was one of those cases where people proclaimed you as a saint soon as your soul left your body either way none of those speeches could bring her back or make the sound of her laughter fill the room.

I walked over to my dad's house and went straight to my room to take a shower. I got dressed and went into the lounge I found aunt Kholiwe with a plate of food on a tray and a sleeping Theo on her back. I kissed him and sat down on the couch. She sat down next to me. I felt more tears fall and she brought me in for a hug and for the first time since Nate told me my sister was dead I let it all out. I sobbed on her shoulder.

I dont know when I fell asleep but I woke up on the couch with a throw to warm me up and my grandmother sitting on the single couch.

Gogo: "Hi baby."
Me: "Hi gogo."
Gogo: "How are you feeling?"
Me: "Like I have been hit by a runaway train."
Gogo: "I know."
Me: "I failed her gogo. Theres no beating about it I failed her."
Gogo: "You did the best that you could do baby you gave it your all and sometimes no matter how hard we try the end result is not always what we had hoped for it doesn't mean you have failed."
Me: "Then what does it mean?"
Gogo: "It means you tried. That's all we can do try."
Me: "I need to go back to Joburg Lando needs me."
Gogo: "Still no sign of her mother?"
Me: "I gave up on that woman a long time ago."

I took the plate of food that aunt Kholiwe left on the table and warmed it up. I made tea for my grandmother and I found some scones and handed them to her. I sat down and we ate our food.



I drove out of Mandawe as soon as the funeral was over. I didnt even wait for my friends. I dont know how I made it to Joburg without an accident cause I was crying the whole way. Just when I had found my own little piece of heaven it was taken away from me I would like to blame God for it but the truth is God didnt fracture Kazi's vein and let it bleed into her brain. It's crazy how our bodies can endure a lot but open one crucial vein in your body and you might bleed to death if help doesn't come fast.

That's what happened to Kazi she bled to death all from an open vein because Rafael thought it would be cool to bash a woman with a gun on her head. When Philani handed her lifeless body to me her face was covered in blood at first I thought it was just a head wound. I could hear her faint heartbeat I hoped and prayed the whole way to the hospital we handed her to the doctors and nurses and they wheeled her off to theater. They immediately started working on her raptured vein and by the time Philani and the guys came in with Lando she too was immediately taken to another theater. After about two hours a doctor came out with bloody scrubs he seemed scared to even come to us so Nate went to him instead I guess it's a doctor thing. They spoke while we waited in anticipation.

I knew it was over the moment Nate turned around. I didnt know which one of them we would have to bury but I knew someone had died. I swear I could hear my heart break into a million pieces when Nate told us. I was in so much shock I couldn't even cry. It felt like a bad dream I so badly wanted to wake up from. But no matter how many times I pinched myself I couldn't wake up.

I drove to the safehouse where Rafael had been kept for the past couple of weeks and found Razor sleeping on the couch I guess it's a doctor thing. They spoke while we waited in anticipation.

I knew it was over the moment Nate turned around. I didnt know which one of them we would have to bury but I knew someone had died. I swear I could hear my heart break into a million pieces when Nate told us. I was in so much shock I couldn't even cry. It felt like a bad dream I so badly wanted to wake up from. But no matter how many times I pinched myself I couldn't wake up.

I drove to the safehouse where Rafael had been kept for the past couple of weeks and found Razor sleeping on the couch good cause what I need to do doesn't need an audience. I walk down to the basement and switch the light on Rafael closes his eyes to avoid the glare of the light. I walk over to him and today he is kneeling on his wounded knees. I guess Razor had time to play because this guy looks like he could do with some help. I pull up the chains which makes him slowly stand up. He winces with every pull.

I go to the cabinet and pull out Nates first aid kit or torture kit if you prefer that. I walk back to Rafael who is now fully awake.

Rafael: "Water." He whispers with a little difficulty. I guess his mouth is dry not drinking liquids for an entire week will fuck one up. I pull up a chair and sit next to his dangling body.

I open the first aid kit and put on some latex gloves. I pull out a scalpel and test it out on Rafael and its sharp. I get up from the chair and pull up another one I untie him and put him on the other chair and tie his legs and hands to it. I take a bottle of water and give it to him. He laps up the liquid like a hungry dog.

Me: "Are you good?"
Rafael: "When my people find out what you are doing to me you will regret it."
Me: "You mean the same people who arent even looking for you? They dont give a shit about you Rafael the same way you didnt give a shit when you bashed Kazi's skull in or when you shot a pregnant woman leaving her unconscious and laying on the ground."
Rafael: "I have friends."
Me: "In your head perhaps. Tell me have you ever watched Game of Thrones?" He looks at me and says nothing. "No? Okay. Let me tell you one of my favourite parts. Theres this crazy guy I dont remember his name but you know what his specialty was when it came to killing people skinning them alive. Its impressive to be quite honest. So now let's see if I can be just as impressive as he is."
Rafael: "You wouldn't dare. My family has a deal with the Biyela's."
Me: "Luckily for me I am not a Biyela. But most importantly you forgot that deal when you killed Kazi and shot Lando so trust me they will thank me."

I take the scalpel and start skinning through his dick skin while he screams. After peeling the skin of his dick I lift it up to his face.

Me: "Okay this is impressive even if I say so myself. I guess I will move on to the other parts now."



I drove into Joburg around midnight. I decided to leave Theo with my family because with all that's happening right now Joburg is no place for him. He needs to be around a stable environment and right about now I cant give him that.

I drive to the hospital I know visiting hours are over but since I co-own this hospital i can show up whenever i want and no one is going to stop me.

I get to Lando's ward and greet the guards waiting outside. I go in and in my head I am hoping for some sort of miracle but there is none. She is still the same as she was when I left two days ago. She is still strapped up to those machines that are supposed to help her breath. I sit down on the chair next to the bed and kiss her hand.

Me: "Hey baby I miss you. I know you are here but I miss talking to you and hearing you laugh. Please come back. We need you Theo needs you now more than ever. Please come back to us."

I wiped the tear that fell from my eye and laid my head next to her with her hand still in mine. I wanted to say a prayer but I figured maybe the guy upstairs doesn't hear me anymore. I mean I prayed for my sister to live but she didnt so maybe God is too occupied to even hear me.

I heard the door open and footsteps coming towards the bed. I looked up and saw Nate standing on the other side of the bed with his iPad in hand.

Nate: "I thought I'd find you here."
Me: "What are you doing here? Its almost morning you should be home."
Nate: "You should be home too. Anyways it's a good thing you are here. There are some complications." I get up and walk over to him. He fires up the iPad and shows me scans. To be quite honest I have no idea what's going on but I look anyway.

Nate: "The bullet wound on her shoulder is healing since the doctor in Limpopo was able to remove that bullet but the one in her chest is causing problems since it is only a couple of centimeters away from the heart trying to remove it would be risky especially in her condition. But the problem now is that since the bullet didnt hit a bone or even a muscle but it shattered into three pieces how that happened is a mystery to me too but that means the three particles are able to move around her bloodstream. Now the problem is if any of those particles make their way to her brain or even her heart she might die."
Me: "What do you suggest we do?"
Nate: "We perform an emergency C- section and then we can do the surgery to remove the bullet particles before they cause too much damage."
Me: "Do you think the baby will survive? She's only six and a half months pregnant."
Nate: "There is a fifty fifty chance both might make it but if we dont do the surgery soon we might lose both of them."

I took a deep breath and tried to think about what to do. I know what Lando would do probably keep the baby but she's not the one with a decision to make I am.

Me: "Do it."
Nate: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Yes. I can only hope that the baby falls on the positive fifty percent."
Nate: "Okay then. But in order to make this happen I need to call in another doctor."
Me: "Dude just do what you need to do all I want is my wife and kid to be safe."
Nate: "They might be if Dr Dlamini performs the surgery."
Me: "Dr Dlamini as in Ngcebo Dlamini?"
Nate: "Yep. He is the only doctor I know who studied both cardiology and neurology so he can make this happen."
Me: "For a man that smart he sure can be stupid sometimes." Nate chuckles.
Nate: "He is book smart not street smart."
Me: "Okay then I guess I am about to come face to face with the good doctor."
Nate: "Okay i will set up the surgery." He walks out.

I am not sure what to feel right now. I have just agreed to have my baby pulled out of her mother's womb before her time. She might live or she might die. If I keep her in there a little longer I risk losing both her and her mother and if I take her out Lando will survive but she might not. And if that happens I don't know if Lando will be able to forgive me. But I guess I will just have to take my chances. 


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