Ndabuko wants to be visited. I tried to reason with him and told him that I have guests in my house but when he gets needy there's no talking to him. It would be rude of me to drive straight from work to his house and I still have to talk to Bab'Maqhawe.
I spot him by the pool as I drive in. He has a slingshot in his hand and he keeps picking something from the ground. Gosh I hope he's not killing birds white people will call the police on us.
I park in front of the house and run towards the pool.
“Baba what are you doing?” I ask.
“Just looking for sparrows” he says.
“And shooting them?” I ask.
“Baba!” I'm defeated.
He pushes the slingshot inside his pocket and releases a deep sigh.
“In the morning you left without saying goodbye.” His eyes search in mine for anger. He's the last person I'd be angry at.
“All this is too much to process in one day. I'm still shocked” I say.
“I understand. I should've fought for you but I guess as they say I didn't have enough qualities to become a father. I could've done something and fought for my role. I shouldn't have just let them take you away from me.”
I lift my eyes up to him. It's still hard to believe that he is my father the real one whose blood runs through my veins.
“If I didn't come home were you going to let me live my whole life not knowing the truth?” I ask.
For a moment he's quiet and rubbing his elbow.
“Maybe” he says.
My heart breaks at his confession.
“Why?” I ask in almost whisper.
“Considering how Qondani turned out I wasn't sure of my skills as a father. I guess words like a seed they grow into fruition. I didn't want to ruin your life.”
I can feel the pain and insecurities buried in his voice.
“He speaks highly of you” I tell him hoping that it will erase the insecurities. I don't know much about him as a father but what I grasped from Qondani's description of his parents is that they're both good people. A little bit too over romantic. But still good to be around to.
“I wish you both got the chance to bond as siblings” he says.
“He's a bully!” We both break into laughter. I can't believe I share a parent with that idiot.
Another elephant in the room needs to be discussed. Nomagugu. I want to know the whole story.
“How long were you with my mother?” I ask.
“I courted her for a year. She was very difficult but I was patient because I loved her. Two years after she agreed to be with me she fell pregnant. Your grandmother found out when she was approaching the eighth week and arranged for her to be married in church with another man. Not just any man but my brother. They had wanted them to marry for a while not knowing that she was already dating outside church. The families talked I tried to stand up for myself but I was a well-known havoc-maker. Dumisani won she cared more about her family's image so they got married. I was happy that at least I was going to watch you grow I got to name you and hold you in my arms. But as you grew your mother grown to hate me she suffered a miscarriage and I was suspected of witchcraft because I slaughter and wear these.” He lifts up his arm to show me the goat-skin bangles with a smirk on his face.
“So they left home and never came back. I could've fought harder but I didn't. I'm sorry ntombi yami.”
“I love you”- words slip out of my lips and stun him. I didn't plan to say this but there are no lies in it.
“There's someone I want you and Mam'Jabu to meet. I think you'll like him” I say.
He creases his forehead and I know who graced his mind.
“Not the one who made me pregnant” I say and his face relaxes.
“He'll show you around Durban and you both believe in similar things. He's been like an uncle that I've never had.” I know that him and Bab'Mbambo will get along very well. I want him to leave this place in a good mood and I know that a trip to men's hostel to eat inhloko will put him in one.
Mam'Jabu is helping Hloni clean. Correction she's teaching her how to clean and I don't see this ending well.
“You're back? Why didn't you tell me you have such a beautiful girl in your house?” she asks.
“Ma Hloni doesn't want to be a stepmother to three kids” I say.
Hloni's eyes are bulging out. I know that Qondani is searching for a vulnerable woman to play a hero to but my employees are off the market.
“You should be speaking for your brother” she says with a chuckle.
“No I still want Hloni to be here. If she falls pregnant that would mean I have to employ someone else” I say.
“You won't have any sister-in-law anytime soon” she says in defeat.
Hloni is still stunned. I leave them to their cleaning for a quick shower. My phone has started beeping nonstop he knows that I'm no longer in the office and in his mind I should've flown straight to his house.
Just as I step out of the shower Andiswa is in my room with a smug look on her face.
“Guess who is here?” she asks.
I open the closet and search for something to wear. She knows that I don't like her guessing games.
“Must I tell you or you want to see for yourself?”
Gosh this child!
“Who is here Andiswa?”
She smiles and leans over my shoulders. I nearly fall on my back when she tells me.
“What is he doing here? Did Bab'omdala see him?” I'm panicking. How can he be such an idiot? I told him that I was coming to his house.
“He is with him in the lounge and asking him questions.”
Oh Father God! I didn't want them to meet yet. I don't know but I feel like it's unfair for him to be interrogated maybe if he had Mr Ngidi to speak on his behalf it would've been better.
Andiswa is laughing behind me. Maybe this is how she felt when I brought that tall boy of hers to the stand and attacked him with questions. Oh I also threw a glass of water on his face.
“Is that how your father raised you?” It's Bab'omdala asking Ndabuko.
He answers in a low voice that I can't hear from a distance. He's sitting on the couch with his palms on his knees and Bab'omdala is standing opposite him with a slingshot in his hand. Is he planning to shoot him?
A hand grabs me just as I'm about to step inside the lounge.
“Come and show me your maize meal. I can't find it.” She's pulling me all the way to the kitchen.
“Ma Ndabuko is here with Bab'omdala” I say.
“So what? He's a man enough to get you pregnant let him man-up for his shit. Where is the maize meal? I want to leave you with amahewu you can't starve the baby.” She's opening the cupboards and mumbling complaints about the kind of food she's seeing.
“Ndabuko doesn't deserve…” She turns around swiftly and lifts up her brows. I know that I should zip it.
“Mntanami I beg don't ever interfere while your man is talking with another man. If it's a woman he's arguing with then you can interfere and defend him. But with other men don't make him look weak. As I said he's a man enough to get you pregnant he will handle his shit.”
I sink down on the chair in defeat. I just hope Bab'omdala will let him go soon. I hope he won't mention his parents or brother because I know that Ndabuko will lose it.
I watch as Mam'Jabu happily mixes the porridge on the stove while humming a song. Andiswa is somewhere in the house- eavesdropping.
His cologne fills my nostrils and I turn my head around. He's not hurt anywhere thank God.
“Ma can I take Ndondo somewhere? She'll be back in the morning.”
Oh can I take Ndondo somewhere? She'll be back in the morning.”
Oh now we ask for permission?
Mam'Jabu gives him a long stare that causes him to scratch his head and casts his eyes to the floor.
“In the morning it must be” she says and turns back to her porridge.
I thought they liked him. They even preached that I must never get stubborn with him.
I take my bag and follow him out. Once we are safe in his car he bursts into laughter.
“Why didn't you warn me?” he asks.
“You didn't tell me you were coming” I say.
“How was I supposed to tell you when you didn't even respond to my messages?”
“That's because you were annoying Ndabuko.”
“I'm sorry I annoyed you. I guess I have missed you way too much.”
Looking at his eyes I know that I've rubbed him the wrong way.
“I missed you too babe but I was gone for us” I say.
His face melts as I bring it on to mine for a kiss. He’s my big baby.
I lift up his chin with my finger and stare into his eyes.
“Did you take care of my di€k?” I pose the question he always asks me back to him.
“What?!” His ribs are going to crack. These men don't think we have it in us. They think they're the only ones who can ask us these questions and get us blushing over nonsense.
“I hope you didn't give it to anyone” I say and sit back on my seat.
“Who polluted your mind? I don't want you to go to the village again. But to answer your question Mngomezulu was well looked after even though he's been hungry for days.”
“He shall be fed” I say.
He narrows his eye. I give him a wink. He cracks into laughter again.
He has prepared a light dinner and I think right now is the right time to fill him in about everything that happened. It's awkward but at least I'm still a Sibisi. That's one thing I'm grateful for; my life didn't completely change.
“Have you spoken to your father?” He's referring to the one that raised me up.
“Not yet. I need a few days to process everything” I say.
“Babe please don't cut them off. I understand that you're angry but he still raised you to this intelligent beautiful woman. His teachings and advices got you to this stage he may be different in his own way and beliefs but he still wants what he thinks is best for you. You're lucky to have two fathers that love you.”
“I guess you're right but I still need time” I say.
He grabs a glass of juice and gulps it down. His hand wraps around it on the table and squeezes it. I hope it doesn't break his grip is too tight.
“My parents went to the grave they chose to follow Nhlanzeko without even saying “congratulation
Okay he's finally letting me in. The timing is wrong but I'm happy he's confiding in me at last.
“Do you hate them? Do you hate your family?” I ask.
“I don't know. I'm here still doing everything to make sure that they're okay in the other world. I still came home pointed where their graves were to be allocated and slaughtered cows to send them off. I still burn impepho and talk to them. Nhlanzeko has came in my dreams with his demands as usual but at least he remembers me. My parents never looked back. They don't check on me not even in my dreams.”
Why am I crying? He walks around the table and hugs me.
“I'm sorry babe. I shouldn't have made today about myself.” He wipes my tears with his thumbs and brushes my quivering lips.
“There's something I need to tell you” I say.
His hands are still around me but he’s stopped moving. He wants me to talk.
“Please sit” I say.
“What is it? You're scaring me.” He rushes to his chair and looks at me with a frown.
“Our first baby this one should be given to Nhlanzeko.”
He doesn't react. I take a deep breath.
“If he has someone carrying his name he'll rest in peace. We just have to present him or her to the ancestors as Nhlanzeko's.”
He pushes off his plate and throws the juice down his throat.
He wipes his hands with a serviette and gets off the chair.
“You'll find me in the bedroom” he says and turns around to leave.
“Ndabuko we are still talking!” I yell.
“I'm not giving my child to Nhlanzeko. That's the last thing. The last! I didn't ask him to die.” He disappears.
That went exactly how I expected. He's angry and offended.
I finish my food and clean his plate then take the dishes back to the kitchen. Yoh! I have to wipe the table and sweep?
He's on the bed with a laptop on his lap. This is going to be a long night!
I start in the bathroom to brush my teeth and release myself. My baby bump is now visible I have felt some movements at the sides. It's really happening I'm going to be a mom. I'm secretly hoping for a little me. A baby girl.
“Are you going to stay on your laptop the whole night?” I ask.
“I was waiting for you to come.” He switches it off and puts it away. The way he's staring at me is unsettling.
“I didn't make it up” I say.
He pulls me to his chest and lifts my leg over his waist.
“I don't want to talk about it. Not now not ever. You'll never mention it again Ndondo do you understand me?”
“What about the consequences of…” He shuts me with a sloppy kiss and I instantly lose my senses.
He loses the gentleness along the way. He's taking out all his frustration on me. His fingers are digging into my thighs the intensity of his strokes has me arching my back and screaming out in pain and pleasure.
My mind shuts down as the third wave builds up I feel my body violently shaking and minutes later my legs are floating in the air.
He has his dick pressed deeply inside me and his hands holding my bottom. He's not still he's moving around.
He throws me back on what feels like a bed and wraps my legs around his neck. I open my eyes and notice that we are in a different room.
“Babeee!” I scream as he slams inside me mercilessly. He should be slowing down by now; we've been at it for a while.
He pulls out and pushes his finger inside my mouth. I feel like a slut as I hungrily suck on it.
“Who is your man?” he asks.
“You” I scream.
He slams in deeper and harder. Then he pulls out leaving my legs shaking.
“What's my name?” he asks.
“Ndabuko” I scream again.
He has his knees on either side of my chest and he's groaning like a bull getting slaughtered. I open my eyes slowly and look at him. WTF! Since when he spreads his sperms on my breasts?
“What are you doing?” I ask in shock.
Instead of answering me he drops his forehead on mine and his sweat runs down on me.
“You're the mother of MY child. I love you more than anything in this world” he says.
Something is just different. This room we are in it feels heavy and dark as if there's an invisible third company.
“Ndabuko!” I push him off and sit up. My joints are weak he punished my body accordingly. I scan my eyes around and they land on Nhlanzeko's picture staring at us. I let out a scream in shock.
He scoops me in his arms and walks out with me. He goes back to his bedroom and throws me on the bed.
“Why did you do that?” I ask swallowing back the lump forming in my throat.
“Did what?” He's lighting his cigarette and puffing it right here inside the room.
“I'm pregnant smoke outside the balcony” I say angrily.
He doesn't argue. He wraps a towel around his waist and walks out to the balcony.
I curse to myself as I drag my body to the bathroom. My whole body smells of his semen.
I open cold water and stand under the shower. I was hoping that taking a cold shower would make me less drowsy but still all I want is to throw myself on the bed.
I dry myself and walk back to the bedroom naked. He's done smoking and focused on his laptop. I throw myself next to him and shut my eyes.
“Do you want me to lotion you?” he asks.
I don't respond. The mattress bounces as he slides off. A few minutes later his hands are massaging my back with lotion.
“Hlase vuka!” I hear his voice from a distance. It becomes persistent and I'm forced to open my eyes.
“Did I hurt you?” He looks frightened.
“No” I mumble and attempt to close my eyes again.
“What's going on? Where's this blood coming from? Baby vuka!”
Hearing the word “blood” awakens every sense in me. Sweat is running down his forehead.
I roll off the bed and notice the blood trails on bed. I check my bottom; I'm leaking.
He runs to the closet picks a shirt and puts it on. The contents of my bag scatter on the floor as he searches for a clean underwear.
I only put the underwear and a gown I can walk by myself but he insists on carrying me all the way to the garage.
I've never seen him so scared. His hands are trembling and now I'm praying that he doesn't lose the grip on the wheel before we reach the hospital.