Ora: “mommy mommy tsoga tsoga” that’s the sound of my little princess waking me up
Me: “ooooh Ora 5 more minutes please” I plead with her refusing to open my eyes.
Ora: “But mommy you promised me pancakes” she whines as she is jumping up and down on my bed. There goes my beauty sleep I open my eyes and smile at this beautiful girl who is bossing me around. I have to apologize to my mother for all the times I bossed her around this must be karma.
Me: “Happy birthday princess Ora mommy loves you very much and you are my little sunshine you brighten up my life” I say as I pull her for a warm hug and kissing her allover her face. She giggles and my heart jumps for joy. “Come let’s wash your face and brush your teeth before pancakes”. She runs to the bathroom with me behind her. We do our business and go to the kitchen to make pancakes. My phone rings and by just looking at the caller ID I know the call is not meant for me but the princess I hand her the phone and her face lights up when she sees the caller ID. She chooses to laugh and not answer the phone I look at her amused and wonder why she doesn’t want to talk to Thuso.
Me: “why are you ignoring the phone Ora don’t you want to talk to TS” I ask.
Ora: “No mommy he must wait on the lady because a lady is not always available you know” she says with some attitude I look at her amused. The phone rings again and this time she answer
Ora: “hello TS”.
Thuso: “Happy birthday my lady how are you today”? he asks.
Ora: “I am fine but it can be better you know” she says.
TS: “oooh really what can I do to make it better” he says.
Ora: “well you can tell me you are attending my birthday party later on today I miss you TS”.
I walk out leaving her on the phone to go bath. Ora and Thuso have the most beautiful relationship ever they are very close and when she was born Thuso named her Melena (meaning love grace and warmth) apparently it originates from Czech. Thuso is my big brother and has always played a father role to my daughter. He has a doctorate in Linguistic hence the love for foreign names. He lives in Johannesburg because of his work at Wits. I also wonder if he will be coming for Ora’s party but I wouldn’t blame him if he can’t. Gauteng is too far to drive just to attend a child’s 6th birthday party. We are having a little celebration at Mike’s Kitchen outside Mall of the North. We invited about 20 children Ora’s friends and cousins of her age group. I walk back to the kitchen only to find she is still on the phone with Thuso.
Me: “Ora you need to say bye now so that we can go get your hair done Ausi Keneilwe is waiting for you”. She hands me the phone and rushes to the bedroom.
Me: “So uncle T are you coming”? I ask my brother.
TS: “of cause I am coming I wouldn’t miss my princess’s birthday” he says.
Me: “You will make such a great father watseba mara Thuso”.
TS: He laughs “I don’t want kids Rori Melena is enough for me”.
Hai you will never win with this one. My mother has been begging him to bring home a makoti but he says not anytime soon. Sometimes I think these academics just sucks in love coz they spend most of their times with their books. Ora and I leave the house to Keneilwe’s house 3 streets away to get her hair done. I drop her off and call my dad to drive me to collect the cake at Madiba Park.
Few hours later we are off to town and the princess is sulking because TS is not here yet and his phone is on voicemail. My father drops us off and reminds me to call him an hour before so that he can pick us up. We walk into the venue and my Ora jumps up and down with happiness when she sees the decoration with the Doc Mcstuffins theme and Cake. My daughter bathong she wants to be a Doctor when she grows up not just any doctor “a doctor who heals animals” as she always says. Children starts arriving at the venue and the party begins. I am sitting with my friend Mpho at the back supervising the kids. We asked the parents to drop off the kids and pick them up at 16:30. An hour into the party Thuso walks in with a biggest present in his hands Ora spots her uncle and runs to him. I shed a tear because I am grateful for my brother for always being there for my little princess. She has never felt that she doesn’t have a father.
My mind wonders off to 9 years ago when I meet Ora’s father. He was what we would consider a beautiful black man he was well built as he was into soccer and gym and dark in complexion not too dark but acceptable dark. I used to call him my black coffee. We were soo in love and I was sure he was my forever. I meet Thapelo Kgalema when I was doing my first year at the University of Johannesburg. It was the 3rd day of orientation and he was an usher. He introduced himself at lunch time and asked why I was sitting alone.
Me: “well I am sort of a loner”
Thapelo: “oooh so am I how about we become loners together?” he said with a beautiful smile.
We sat together until lunch was done
and he offered to walk me to my room at the end of the day. After orientation
he asked me to wait at least 30 minutes for him as they only knocked off 30 min
after the programme was done. I waited and he accompanied me to my room I was
staying off campus and he was staying on campus. We became close friends and
later started to date. I was studying towards Business administration and he
was doing his second year in education. I really thought Thapelo was the one
he promised me heaven and earth but I guess I was a fool in love because I fell
for all his charm. For the next three years at varsity I lived my life for him
After few hours he arrived and I was done cooking we ate over a light conversation with me laughing at the stories he shared about his students and other staff members. This was my safe heaven eating and laughing with the love of my life. We made love in the most passionate way assuring each other how much we loved one another. As we were cuddling in bed I pulled the pregnancy test and handed it over to Thapelo.
Thapelo: “what is this?” he asked with a frown on his face.
Me: “it’s a pregnancy test love we now know why I have been sick this past few weeks”. I looked at him puzzled as he laughed and shook his head like I was just joking.
Thapelo: “are you trying to trap me because I am about to start working?”
What? Why would I want to trap him? I did not plan to fall pregnant and I am not sure what he means about me trapping him. He has always gave me the impression that we will be together forever why would I trap him?
Me: “I am not trying to trap you Thapelo” I said with tears running down my cheeks.
Thapelo: “fine then you will not have an issue terminating that pregnancy because I am not ready to be tied down. I still want to live a little and experience the world out there. I will take you to a Dr first thing in the morning” he said and kissed my forehead.
Me: “I am keeping the baby Thapelo I would not kill my child”.
Thapelo: “really now? Ohk fine be prepared to do this on your own. Like I said I am not ready to do this with you Rorisang” he said and turn to look the other way.
I cried myself to sleep that night praying that he would wake up with a change of heart. I woke up in the morning around 8 and Thapelo was not sleeping next me. I found an envelope on the table with R2000 and a note that said I should go terminate if I still wanted him in my life. I called him.
Thapelo: “hi Rori have you decided?”
That’s how he answered his phone. Wow I am Rori now not my love or baby like he always called me. I felt so cheap I felt like I haven’t known this person for the past 3 years.
Me: “I decided to keep the baby Thapelo I cannot subject by self to an abortion and I would never forgive myself” I said in between the sobbing.
Thapelo: “fine then please pack up my things I will take them on my way to home I am sorry we can’t make us work” with that said he hanged the phone.
What? Is this my Thapelo? What is really going on here?
He really left and took all his clothes just like that a 3 year relationship came to an end. I cried myself to sleep for the next 3 weeks with no word from Thapelo until I woke up at a hospital. Apparently my neighbor become worried after not seeing me for 2 days and asked my landlord to open up my room. I was found unconscious and I was rushed to the hospital. My parents we called and my dad was very disappointed in me. I had to drop my studies and move back home so that my mother can take care of me as I was depressed. I couldn’t finish my studies that year and chose to stay home the following year. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in July 2012 named Oratilwe Melena Mokoena. When Ora was 4 years old I decided to finish my outstanding subjects with Unisa thanks to Thuso who set me down and painted a scary picture of what my life would be without education. I went back and finished with my qualification. I was busy with my Internship last year and I am very happy with my life and my little angel.
Ora: “mommy look what TS got for me” she says tapping my shoulder bringing back from my thought.
Me: “wow Ora this is soo beautiful now you can start practicing your skills my young doctor”
Thuso got her a learning resources pretend play pet vet hospital set. I smile at her and then turn to my bother with a smile.
TS: okare okgole ka me nagano so (why does it seem like your mind is far) he says pulling me in for a hug.
Me: “I am just tired it’s been a long week planning this diva’s party”
TS: “well everything looks perfect and she is a very happy child she makes all of us happy” he says with a beautiful smile on his face. There is no way you can miss the love he has for this child in his eyes.
We sit and watch the kids enjoy the party until parent collect their kids one by one then we make our way home. It has been a long day really and we are all just tired. We get home bath the princess take a quick shower and off to bed.
My name is Rorisang Mokwena and I am 26 years old I have a 6 year old daughter 2 brothers and still lives with my parents.