Chapter 9


John: “I will be waiting for the report then” he says shaking my hand.

Me: “I will make sure its sent to you as soon as were are done with it”

He nods and let go of my hand. Another successful meeting with the hospital’s financial team. My company was busy with their financial audit and we just finished auditing their books. All that is left is for my team to analyze the results and prepare a report for them.  I get up and take my laptop bag and walk out with John accompanying me.

Me: “Be glad I am out of your hair John because I know how frustrated you were with my team every time we demanded a file or statement and receipts from you” I says laughing.

John: “Ooooh you can say that again for the first time this week I am sure I am going to get a peaceful sleep. The past week was hell trying to locate files and receipts that were incorrectly filed. It was so bad because my wife experienced my frustrations man. I hate taking work home but I just did not have any choice”

Me: “You better make it up to her then …………….” I pause as I watch Dr Zungu passing us with tears streaming down her cheeks.

John: Chuckling “Doctors they think they have it hard. She is probably crying because she lost a patient who came here already dead” he says shaking his head.

Me: “Thanks John I will keep in touch I need to go”

I say before following Dr Zungu to her office. The sight before me is breaking my heart she is crying her eyes out and her cry is piercing through my heart. I couldn’t help it I just had to pull her into my embrace and let her cry while I rubbed her back.

Thandiwe: “Please forgive me I am just a mess and now I messed up your shirt” she says pulling out of the hug and wiping her tears with the back of her hand while sniffing.

Me: “It’s okay baby. Do you want to talk about it?”

Thandiwe: “I lost a patient today AJ a patient carrying a child. I did everything in my power but in the end we lost them both” she says crying

I wipe her tears with my thumbs and place a kiss on each eye before pulling her back in for a warm hug. We stay like that until she calms down and her breathing is back to normal before we settle down on the sofa in her office.

Me: “I am sure you did you best”

Thandiwe: “My best was not good enough AJ or else that baby and the mother would still be alive”

Me: “Before you beat yourself up do you mind telling me what happened to the mother that lead her here?”

Thandiwe: “There was a shooting at the mall a robbery gone wrong. 15 people were caught in the cross fire. The pregnant woman was one of them and she was hit twice once on the belly and another bullet on her head” she says shaking her head

Me: “Well it sounds to me like her fate was long decided before she even got here. Such things happen because we don’t have any control over life and death. You did your best unfortunately her time was up. Working in the trauma unit must be a very difficult task because the patients that come in there are only holding on by the thread but thanks to your dedication and hard work most make it out alive. Always think about the lives you save whenever you encounter such situations okay”

She nods and let out a deep sigh before breaking into a lazy smile

Me: “That’s more like it smile more my good doctor because tears exposes your ugliness” I say jokingly.

Thandiwe: "Says a man who hardly smiles" she says softly punching me on my shoulders.

Me: "Let me make you a deal then I don't catch you crying ever again for whatever reason and I will make it a point to smile in your presence. How about that" I say smiling.

Thandiwe: "I like that plus you have a cute smile I am sure the world would like to see more if it"

Me: "Don't get it twisted doc the smile is for you not the world"

I say causing her to laugh out laud

Thandiwe: "Well no one can say I did not try because I did. Thanks for the talk AJ I am feeling all better now so I should go and see who else needs saving in this hospital" she says getting up from the sofa with me.

Me: "That's the spirit dear and please stop beating yourself up you are doing great. I know this because you saved my life by pulling a bullet out of my guts with nothing but your two fingers while i was conscious" I say standing up and fixing my suit.

I smile as she walk in my embrace catching me by surprise.

Thandiwe: "Thank you AJ i really needed the pap talk" she says soft as she rest her head on my chest

I wrap my hands around her and take in this moment before we are disturbed by someone clearing their throats causing us to break a hug. Suddenly my mood change as Mr. Perfect stands there disturbing a beautiful moment.

Thandiwe: "Hi Oupa"

Oupa: " Hi sorry to disturb. I just brought you lunch" he says showing a brown paper bag with food inside.

Me: "Well I better get going at least I will leave knowing you are now fine"

Thandiwe: "Thanks again AJ"

Me: "Pleaser is all mine

good doctor" I say heading to the door.

I greet Mr. Soccer star on my way out and drive home thinking about my good doctor. How do I just turn off my feelings just like that when fate keeps making our path cross like this?



Me: “You should stop forcing your way into my office Bulelani Mpangele because next time the security team will have clear instructions to arrest at the gate. This is a place of business not your father’s kingdom” I say with a straight face.

I am not chuffed with him right now in fact I am very hurt and disappointed. He has been living with his wife to be for a week now and I am supposed to be okay with it. I understand that he has a responsibility towards his family and people. In fact I need him to honor his birth rights and responsibilities and leave me piece something he is been failing to do. He can’t live both lives and he and I both know that he will never walk away from his responsibilities so he should just let me be.

I stare at him as he stands he stands there looking all hot with his one hand in his pocket looking at me angrily. At this moment in time I feel like I can just jump in his arms and let him have his way with me but then I remember he is promised to another. A woman who according to culture is more worthy to be with him than I will ever be.

Bule: “Is your phone broken Mbalenhle or you just not taking my calls” he says after what seems like years.

Me: “What do you think?” I say leaning back on my chair and folding my arms.

Bule: “So you blocked my number just like that?”

Me: “It wasn’t just like that you wouldn’t stop blowing my phone with call. Even when I asked you nicely to stop calling me”

Bule: “Yeka ukuphula intliziyo yam Enhle ndiyakudinga ebomini bam (Stop breaking my heart Enhle I need you in my life). The past week has been hell for me with you avoiding to see me or answer my call. Do you know how many times I came to your place?”

Me: “Stop doing that just stop it. I don’t want you to come to my place and I don’t want you calling me either”

Bule: “You don’t mean that my love. How do you suppose I will survive my whole life without you?” he says coming to my side of the table and kneeling in front of me after turning my chair to face him.

Me: “Set me free Bulelani you are making this harder for me. You know I want to be with you but I am just not qualified to be your wife. The sooner you let me go the better because I can start mending my heart” I say with a breaking voice.

I am just keeping my tears at bay I will not allow myself to cry in front of him because he will want to hug and comfort me and I don’t need his touches right now.

Bule: “kodwa ndi thanda wena nje (But it’s you I love)” He says softly poking my chest

Me: “But love is not enough especially where you come from. I was just not born in the right family to be worthy enough to be your wife”

Bule: “Yintoni ofuna ukuba ndiyenze ngoku? (What do you want me to do now?). It’s not like I can change who I am or which family I was born in just like I can’t turn off my feelings for you” he says with tears streaming down his face.

This must be breaking him as much as it’s breaking me. Bulelani is a proud man and proud man like him don’t break down and cry. I let him rest his head on my thigs as he lets it all out. I have no doubt that he loves me but I can’t be his royal mistress or anyone’s mistress for that matter. Me being with him while he is getting married to someone else is going to kill me more than me setting him free.

Me: “Jonga (Look) you are not one to kneel in front of anyone not even me. U zoba u kumkani kalokhu (You are a future king) and kings don’t kneel for anyone. I need you to pick yourself up and embrace who you are. Marry your promised princess and show her nothing but love. Give her your all like you have been giving yourself to me. Let her experience the wonderful man that you are. Don’t worry about me I am sure God has other plans for me and I need to trust his plans. I will always love you and you were the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t regret the time I spend loving and neither should you. Now please Mpangele omuhle Zwelixolile set me free” I say with tear streaming down.

You guessed it it’s very difficult to hold them in when you are forced to say goodbye to the love of your life. He nods and look wipe of my tears with his warm hands a touch I know I will forever yearn for. I gaze deep in his eyes and I see nothing but sadness and heart break. My fun loving man is not there and I can only pray to God that he resurfaces and live his life to the fullest. He gently places a soft kiss on my lips before standing up.

Bule: “I guess this is goodbye. I think its best I moved back home because it will break my heart to see you regularly and not even be able to talk to you or hold you”

I nod rapidly in a very slow motion but that’s not what I want. I don’t want him to moves miles away from me I still want to see him and argue against him court. But I guess this really is for the best because it would break my heart even more to see him with her. I watch as he walks to the door and out without even looking back. I need to go home I am broken and I need my mother’s hug. Dineo would know exactly what to say to make me feel better. I send my cousin an SMS that I will be going home and won’t make it to our date night tomorrow before calling my PA to re-assign all my urgent cases.



Me: “Well it seems I will make it after all. My cousin just sent me an SMS saying she is flying home so our date night is cancelled”

Oupa: “Wow now that works for me. I will send you the designer and you can meet with her tomorrow morning to pick a dress”

Oupa just asked me to accompany him to some sports award tomorrow and since I am free I might as well go. This is me trying to get out of my comfort zone. I have been spending a lot of time with Oupa and he is such a great guy. I might even be falling for him because I found myself allowing him to kiss me a few times and not to brag or anything the brother is a great kisser.

Me: “I just hope the celebration party will be lit?”

Oupa: “What celebration party MaZungu?”

Me: “Celebration party for all those awards you are going to scoop tomorrow” I say causing him to laugh.

Oupa: “Well you are welcome to start planning one because I have not even thought that far?”

Me: “Come on Oupa where is your faith man. At least tell me you have prepared more than one thank you speeches”

He nods slowly causing me to laugh yazi this one is so modest he doesn’t even know how good he is on the soccer field. I get up and grab a book and a pen and settle back on the sofa next to him. We are doing all this in my office he is lucky trauma unit is not as hectic as it was in the morning when we had 15 gunshot victims.

Oupa: “And what is that for”

Me: “You are nominated in 5 categories Mr Mbuks and we are going to write down 5 thank you speeches. You are going to give a different speech every time you collect an award”

Oupa: “Okay mam start writing and I will follow your lead”


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