I can’t believe how adorable he looks. I take a deep breath before letting it all out. I can’t help but smile. This child sure stole my heart and nothing in the world matters right now but him.
Mom: “Mtho is something else yazi mara” she whispers as she takes a seat next to the bed where Mtho and I are sleeping before handing me a bowl of soup.
Me: “I can’t believe he keeps me up all night and sleeps peacefully during the day” I say smiling faintly.
The truth is I am very tired. I hardly sleep at night because Mtho is usually restless and burning up at night keeping me on my feet the whole night.
Mom: “Maybe there is something wrong with him”
Me: “MaTha checked him out when she was here and she said the same thing that the pediatrician said. So I honestly don’t know”
Mom: “Yes there is nothing medically wrong with him but maybe we should start enquiring about other things like traditional stuff” she says the last part at a very low tone.
I look at her shocked. My mother has never believed in traditional stuff and for her to even consider it is even shocking.
Me: “I thought you don’t believe in any of that. Did your husband talk you into this?”
Mom: “I don’t believe in them but now I have ran out of ideas. It breaks my heart to hear him cry the way he cries at night and I think you could also use some rest. I see how tired you are and the fact that you are failing to sleep during the day is not even helping”
Me: “Where do we even begin Mom?” I say trying to sound more hopeful than I actually am.
The truth is I don’t believe in any of the traditional stuff maybe it’s the way I was raised at home. We never practiced anything traditional but right now I am willing to do anything so that my son can also get some peaceful sleep at night. It’s really bad because he just doesn’t stay up he also let out a heart piercing cry that can even break a cold heart.
Mom: “But she should be here with you. Why is she acting like she is the only one who lost a child?”
Me: “She probably needs more time to deal with what happened Mma. I say let’s give her all the time she needs”
Mom: “A woman’s side is by her husband. Not at her father’s house. We did not even get to bury his bones and gampha she is acting like she is a single woman. Put your foot down nyana and get your house in order or trust me when I say you will not even see this chieftaincy” she says before getting up and walking away.
I absolutely have no energy to deal with Unathi. I haven’t even been able to talk to her since the whole incident. She is ignoring my calls and all my attempt to communicate with her so why should I bother. My parents should stop pestering me about the Unathi issue already because they are the ones who chose her for me and not any other way around. To be honest I am also tired of her attitude and slowly running out of excuses for her because she has been gone too long now. I understand that she is grieving and losing a child has affected her in a bad way but 3 weeks is a long time.
Dad: “Ndi xakekile ke ngoku sana. Andazi ukuba ndithini (I am out of my wit her son I don’t even know what to say)”He says walking in and bringing me back from my thoughts.
I was so deep in my thoughts I don’t even notice him walking in.
Me: “I tried my best Kumkani (King) she is not even answering my calls. Maybe we should let her be she will come back when she is ready”
Dad: “Andikho apho mna (I am not talking about that)” he says shaking his head.
I look at him confused because I am lost.
Dad: “Be kufike u Mandla apha akuseni (Mandla was here in the morning). What he said left me confused”
Me: “Haike Andina mdla (I am not interested). That man was removed from his position in this family a long time ago. What I don’t understand is why you are still giving him the time of the day when you know he can’t be trusted”
Dad: “Still what he said has been bothering for the whole day and I couldn’t even concentrate at the council meeting”
Me: Deep sigh “What did he say” I say trying to sound more interested than I was.
Dad: “Mandla says your son needs to be brought home because his mark is burning up and keeping him awake at night. Apparently your son bears Zwelixolile’s mark of authority” he says shaking his head slowly like he doesn’t believe what he is saying either.
Me: Laughter “Forgive me Kumkani. I am not laughing at you but we both know the world has not seen Zwelixolile’s mark for the past 3 generations. Plus my son passed away we have a death certificate to prove that. Stop entertaining Mandla there is a reason why he has fallen from grace”
The truth is Mandla cannot be trusted and has been removed from his position as a chief priest after he was caught misusing his powers and position to rob people. He was stripped of his powers and no chief priest has been appointed in the family because I fear of how people misuse their power.
I can’t believe my parents are this heartless. I understand who my father is and why he is like this but I expected better from my mother. She of all people must understand where I come from. What kind of mother do they think I am? Expecting me to dump my child just like that and walk away? How do they expect me to live life like nothing happened?
Mom: “Su tefa Unathi man (Unathi stop being a cry baby) we are doing all this for you” she says settling on the bed.
I don’t even want to look at her. Nothing about this is for me and they must just stop selling me that line because they are only saving their own skin. I feel her brushing my back in an attempt to calm me down which in turn makes me sob harder. I don’t need her comfort she knows exactly what I need and she is failing to give it to me. They are really selfish not to allow me to hold my child. I tried pleading begging screaming and using threats but all that was in vain. I have even given up hence I have been lying on this bed crying for the past hour or so.
Mom: “Kutheni u sendza ubantu ababi kangaka? (Why are you making us bad people?). We spoke about this 9 months ago and we all agreed it’s best for everyone involved”
Me: “None of this is best for me or my son. Stop lying to me because you and your heartless husband are the only ones who……”
Mom: “Suba xhwada Unathi (Stop being disrespectful)” she says cutting me off with one hot slap landing across my face.
I looked at her with my eyes popped while holding my burning cheek with one hand. Did she just do that to me? Slap me for telling the truth.
Mom: “Now wipe off those damn tears and start packing your bags. You have been here for too long now and I am sure your husband needs you home with him” she says before getting up and walking out.
I hate being born in this family because now my life has been dictated to me. What sort of life is this anyway forcing a new mother to abandon her own child and expect her to move on with life like the child never existed. I hate my parents and I will never forgive them for this ever.
I roll out of bed and make my way to the bathroom to take a shower. Clearly they will not allow me to see my child or to even hold him I might as well leave this place. I need to be as far away from this place as possible.
I smile when I see him sitting there busy on his
laptop. I wonder how long he has been here since I was in surgery the whole
day. I pick up my pace as I get closer to where he is sitting. The truth is I
missed him too
AJ: “Hi Lala” he says against my lips.
Me: “Hi” I say before kissing him again.
I think I am addicted to AJ’s kisses. His soft juicy lips always leave me yearning for more of his kisses. The fact that he is also a good kisser maybe even the best I have ever had is not doing me any favors. Unfortunately for me he soon break the kiss and place soft kisses on both my eyes. I don’t know why but he likes doing that kissing my left eye and then my right eye. He must be having something for my eyes not that I am complaining because I am enjoying the feeling.
AJ: “Are you ready for me to take you home?”
Me: “Yes please. Plus I don’t have my car today since I came here straight from the airport”
AJ: “I know baby that’s why I am here. No woman of mine will take a cab while I am around”
Me: “Aren’t you sweet Mr Konje” I say with a huge smile on my face.
AJ: “Don’t tell that to people Okay. They don’t get to meet this sweetness it’s only for you. Go get your bags so we can get out of here already” he says spanking my ass before winking at me.
As sore as it is I think I like it I mean the as spanking. I walk to my office to collect my bag before walking back. AJ being the gentleman that he is takes the overnight back from me and carry it all the way to the car with my hand in his.
AJ: “So how is baby Mthokozisi”
Me: “Ohh baby he is the most adorable baby I have ever seen. He is perfect and all”
AJ: “I thought I was the perfect baby” he says sarcastically while shaking his head.
Me: “Nah you are the most perfect after Mthokozisi”
AJ: “Wow I don’t like this Mtho already. He stealing my woman’s heart just like that” she says taking my hand and placing in on the gear so that he can keep his on top of mine as he changes the gear.
I laugh out loud and tell him all about my trip to Durban. We first drive to Mc Donald’s for takeaways and the straight home.
AJ: “We are here baby” he says waking me up.
I must have dozed off on the road from fatigue. The truth is I did not have a great night because Mtho doesn’t sleep at night keeping the whole house awake and I had a very long day at work today. I look around and try not to act shocked that we are packed at my apartment. I don’t know how he knows where I stay since I never told him before.
Me: “How come the securities at the gate let you drive in?” I say stepping out of the car.
AJ: “Because you were in the car with me Lala” he says placing a soft kiss on my lips.
Me: “Oooh Okay. I thought you were going to wake me up for directions”
AJ: “Let’s get you in. I know you tired and that perfect baby kept you up all night” he says walking to the back of the car to take out the bags and follows me inside.
I guess he is spending the night since he brought an overnight bag.