I woke up on an empty bed looks like Dikgetho didn't come to bed last night his side was still made. I walked out of our bedroom looking for him and there was no sign of himhis car keys were still on the table and the door was still locked.
I found him passed out on the floor for a second my heart stopped beating I ran to him and sat down on the floor shaking him his eyes were open but he was not responding I checked on his pulse and it was beating normally. I shook him couple of times and he blinked while coughing.
Me:Dikgetho are you alright?
Him:am fine what happened?
Me:I dont know I found you passed out here. You scared me.
Him:am really sorry my love.
I hugged him. I was releaved that he was up I thought he was dead I helped him up and cleaned his study room then went downstairs to prepare breakfast.
I stood in the middle of the shower as the water ran all over my naked body to tell the truth I dont know what happened last night and to find myself waking up on the cold floor scared me. I tried to search my mind so I can remember what happened but I was blank. I slowly sat down and cried this is not me this life of having monsters its not me. I never woke up one morning dreaming of becoming a woman beater no.
After showering I went downstairs to have breakfast with my wife and the cut lip reminded me of how I slapped her. I couldn't even look at her in the eyes I was ashamed of myself. I decided to leave and visit Thami.
The cut on my lip made it hard for me to eat since the food had salt in it. I looked at myself in the mirror again this cut is worse than last night it won't heal anytime soon. My phone rang and it was my mother .
Her: hello my baby how are you?
Me:am good and you
Her: very well. I am sorry for not coming to your wedding things were difficult on this side
Me:difficult that you couldn't even take just one day to see me?
Her:am sorry my baby but I will come and see you.
Me:I needed you there Dabs but..
Her: oh Vumile I said that am sorry what do you want me to say?
Me: where are you now?
Her:am in Midrand I came back last night. India was good guess what I have for you?
Me: Dabs last night Dikgetho hit me. He thought that I was flirting with some guy at the club .
Her:do you have blue eye?
Me: no just a cut lip.
Her:oh my baby dont worry it will be fine.he is just a man with a huge ego .
Me:Dabs what if he hurts me again?
Her: I have to go Vumile.
She hanged up on me.How could my own mother hang up on me ?I hate her for leaving me while I needed her love.
After speaking to my daughter my heart broke I have never wished that my child should be beaten up by a man. My mind dated back to when my ex lover used to abuse methat man was ruthless he didn't care about anything he would beat me up until I was black and blue.
I once asked him to stop beating me then he said to me"uzoyi thola kuphi indoda engeke ikushaye" those words would sting my heart
I once asked him to stop beating me then he said to me"uzoyi thola kuphi indoda engeke ikushaye" those words would sting my heartI reported him to the police and he will spend one night and come back the next day he would beat me even when I was pregnant with Vumile. One day he came back from work very livid he was going to take out his frustration on me he slapped me and I pretended to faint and he just let me lay on the floor I decide to use the cold drink bottle that was next to me then I hit his head with it and made a run for my dear life.
Few days later wondering in the streets I met Mvandaba he took me and I stayed with him until Vumile was old enough to take care of herself. Me and Mvandaba never married although the feelings were there but I couldn't love him I wanted him to raise Vumile for me. I left him with Vumile when she turned 10 years oldI work as flight hostess so most of the time am not at home all I could say is I missed out on her life and the mother and daughter relationship is not there.
My name is Debra Nkomo.