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{Un-Edited}

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Kamvalam Perspective




 My life wasn't all dull like Advocate's life... Yes I had dreams but Advocate had bigger dreams. She wanted to travel the worldshe wanted to be different she wanted to go bigger. We were so closed. So closed that you could tell we're Twinsthat's how close we were. I used to tell her all my secrets. I used to laugh with her until.... Our Marriege. I had to share the love of my life with my sister. I had to share a dick with my sister! I had to share a man with my sister I mean who does that..?  


 I Didn't want to fill with hatred. I didn't want my relationship with my sister to be destroyed. But who am I to predict the future.  It happened.... Yes it happened.My sister became my enemy... My sister became the first wife. A fist wife to my fiancée.... She became my sister wife


All the dreams I used to have and all the dreams I used to share with her faded just because of 'Isithembu'. I was that kind of a girl... Who wanted to live in her own world. Ungenzile uMa.... Yes I blame My mother. If she didn't agree with all that nonsense called 'isithembu'. If she let Advocate to decide on her own

I wouldn't be involved in 'isithembu'. That was my man... Yes only mine to have but all that changed.


I filled with angerI filled with hatredI filled with range all in the name of 'isithembu'. I had a future planedyes that's my name.... Kamvalam Blessings Ngcobo



                  ****




I'm that girl who's always been quite. Especially around people but not with Advocate. When there's Advocate there's another side of me I'm completely different. She's been the best thing I've ever wished for in life.


Ma:"Where did you give your pride" she said in that scary tone


Me:"Ma...I....I... " I was scaredscared of the unknown.


Ma:"Aw'sakwaz ukukhuluma Kamvalam..?"

(Don't you know how to talk)


Me:"Mama I'm sorry I...I... Mom I'm sorry"I was literally crying.


Ma:"For what..? Who is going to marry you huh..?"


Me:"Mom there's someone who's going to marry me" I shouted with tears streaming down my cheeks


Ma:"Who huh..? Who...?"she asked


Me:"It's Zweli... Zweli Ndamase" I was in tears. I don't like being shouted at


Ma:"Who is that Kamva..?"


Me: (looking down) " He'll come to pay the bride price you will see him mother"


Ma:"Suka la phamb'kwam ngingaze ngiksakaze ngempama"


I ran outside going straight to the river and cried. I'm not crying for what mother said or did. I cried because I became so stupid that I gave away my virginity. I cried because I was blind. I cried because Advocate was telling the thuth.


"Aww yintoni kengok Kamvalam..?"that must be him... The one and only. Ubambolwam


Me:"It's nothing Zweli" I said Sniffing


Zweli:"Then what is it..? Why are you crying"


Me:"Mom was shouting at me about my virginity"


Zweli:"I don't like it when you cry Thembalam"


Me: (Sniffs) "It hurts Zweli it hurts"


Zweli:"I'm sorry baby" he said that pulling me in his armswhere I felt safe... Where I felt Protected


Zweli: (Sighed) "Thembalam there's something I need to tell you"


Me: (Turned to look at him) "What is it Zweli..?"


Zweli:"Well I....Uhm... I...." He was Stuttering and that made me Scaredwhat if he wants to break up with me...? I want to have a future with this man.


Me:"What is it...? Your scaring me Zweli"


Zweli: (Sighed) "I'm a Prince..."


Me:"Ini..? Yewena Zweli uthi Ingani ungang'tjhelanga..?"

(Why didn't you tell me?)


Zweli:"I was scaredI'm sorry but I.... My family wants a Sealed girl"


Me: (Teary) "W...What..? But Zweli you Promised that you won't leave me"


Zweli: "i love you Kamvalam kakade I wouldn't leave you"


Me:"But you know I'm not a virgin they won't approve"


Zweli:"I don't care... I will marry you Kamvalam"


Me:"I love you Zweli"


Zweli:"I love you too Thembalam and I will marry you"

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Ma:"When are they sending amaLobolo..?"


Me:"Mom it's still early"


Ma:"There's nothing early here you have to get married vele"


Me:"But mom-"


Ma:"Nywa Nywa Nywa Mnx"


Me:"Mom what is wrong with you..? Why do you hate us so much" 


Ma:"I don't hate you I hate your father... It would be better if he ran away with you"


Me: (Gasped) "Are you even my mother..?"


I felt my cheek burn and I knew she just slapped me


Ma:"Sowungeza intanga yakho manje nx tell your man to marry you so you can leave " (Your now making me your Friend)


She said that walking away




      ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••






"Kheman Kheman 

Kheman Wentombi

Kheman Kheman

Kheman Wentombi


BengisaQela losisi lo

Nalosisi Lo

Qum'Nyawo Phezulu

Njenge Bhanoyi...-"



I was so much happy. I was happy that I'm actually going to see my sister... Oh how I miss her. I wished she was here with meall by my side but not everything happen how you Wich for it to happen right..?


Thuth be toldit wasn't easy eMhlangeni but I'm glad I'm back and I'm glad I'm a Virgin... I can't wait to go fetch my statement. I hope and pray that I pass. That finally I'm going to work ahead of my dream. That finally I'm building something I love. We arrived 'ebukhosini' all Mother's were there but not mine... She doesn't care why would she come anyway...? I'm just a useless rubbish in her eyes. All Mother's are Smiling so thankful and Proud


 Unlike my mother sometimes I wonder why God bought me to this world... To suffer..? I always look around my village Children are always smiling with their parents but where's are mine..? Don't tell me about the one who's always drunk... Don't tell me about that one who left me for iGoli at the age of Two months. Please don't tell me about that. (Sighed) I always admire the love between parents and all the families. Love that I don't receivelove that I have never knew. 


"Syabonga sibaSekhosini kulezintombi ezibuye ngempumelelo Mabaziphathe Kahle. Ngiyaqela ukuthi beze ngoMGqibelo sizokhetha ingoduso yeNkosana yasemaXhoseni" 

(We are thankful as Royalties in these girls who have made it may they take care of themselves. Please let them come here on Surturday Xhosa Prince is going to choose a wife)


The Ceremony started as everyone was enjoying and people were eating. I was happy but I couldn't see Kamva. Well we were dancing and singing for the boys

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"Advocate" shouted Kamva. I ran to her as I pulled her for a hug. Gosh I missed this soul.


I pulled out. Me:"Oh Kamvalam how are you..?"I said that Smiling.


She looked up to me. Kamva:"I'm fine but Mama is not fine" she said


Me:"What do you mean Mama is not fine...? What's wrong..?" I asked Panicking... As much as I don't like my momI don't wish death upon her she's still my mom


Kamva:"She has been sick but now she's ohk I told her to Stop drinking but AdvocateI don't wish death upon her she's still my mom


Kamva:"She has been sick but now she's ohk I told her to Stop drinking but Advocateshe doesn't want to and I'm scared" 


As much as Kamvalam is older than me... I feel like I'm the older one. She's too soft and she can't really cope with trouble yes she's too different.


Me:"Let's get homethe ceremony is almost finish. They won't mind"


I said that Pulling her home... When we get there Mom was not there


Me: (Sighed) "Where is she..?"


Kamva:"I told you Advocateshe went drinking... That's all she does nowadays "


Me:"She didn't even attend my ceremonywhat kind of a mother is she..?"


Kamva:"Forget about her Advocate Next month we're going to get your statement and I hope you did well"


Me:"I'm nervous what if i-"


Kamva: "Don't Even think about it you'll make it Ohk..?"


Me:"Thank you Kamvayour the best sister"


Kamva: (Smiling) "I'm the only Sister remember"


Me:"Yeah"


Kamva:"How was it..?"


Me:(Narrowing my eyes on her) "What..?"


Kamva:"eMhlangeni Advocate"


Me: (Sighed) "It was fine"


Kamva:"Just fine...?"


Me'"Yeah just fine" I said that taking out a drink from a small fridge


Kamva:"Ow Owk Uhm... Let me get going"


Me:"Uyaphi..?"


Kamva:"Somewhere haw"


Me:"Fine"



                 ****



Nombuso:"iNkosana yasemaXhoseni iyeza ksasa"

(Xhosa Prince is coming tomorrow)


Esihle:"Kodwa ksasa awuyiPhela Wena awulona itshitshi"

(But your not going there Tommorow your not a virgin)


We were at the river to fetch water


Nombuso:"I'm goingwho said I'm not a virgin..?"


Vumo:"Mnx We will talk about your virginity till infinity"


Esihle:"WeAdvocate... Are you attending the ceremony..?"


Me:"It's not like I have a choice right...?"


Esihle:"I think soAwuthi ngihambe mina"


She said that walking away as we follow behind.


Me:"Kamva ain't you going..?"


Kamva:"I'm not a virginwhy would I waste my time"


Me:"Kodwa uyobukela nje Nothing much"


Kamva: (Sighed) "Fine I'm going"

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Ma:"Today I didn't drink I want to attend the ceremony sober. I know that they will choose you Advocate"


Me:"Your attending the ceremony..?"


Ma:"Yes I'm attending it"


She said that walking away


Kamva:"I just pray she does not cause any trouble Phela Uma wakho unguTrouble"


Me: (Laughs) "I know right..?"


Kamva:"Yeah"


Me:"So... Tell me about I-O yakho"


Kamva: (Smiled) "He's been good... His name is Zweli Ndamase"


Me:"Nice name eyI hope he's handsome"


Kamva:"More than handsome"


Me:"Ow Good"


Kamva: (Sighed) "But he's a Prince"


Me:"Ini..?"


Kamva:"Yes he's a Prince"


Me:"So..?"


Kamva:"I'm Nolonger a virgin and they want a sealed Makoti"


Me:"That's big hey"


Kamva:"Yeah but he promised that he won't leave me"



Me:"Wow... You must be inlove with him Hey"


Kamva:"Oh Advocate I love that guy he makes me feel weird things you know"


Me: (Laughs) "I get you Sis get you"


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"Ebafana bakithi yeMa

Yekelanintsango

YeMa

Ngibi'zonigulisa

YeMa Yelelelele YeMa...-"


"Izintombi zakwaZulu

ZiphumakwaZulu aweMa

Izintombi zakwaZulu

ZiphumakwaZulu aweMa...-"


"Elihashi lam

Ebelihamba kanje

Elihashi lam

Ebelihamba kanje

Elihashi lam

Ebelihamba lenzenje

Ebelihamba kanje...-"


"Sanamukela Thina bakwaQwabe sithi nasibonge"

( We As Qwabe's we Welcome you we say thank you)

[Ululating]


"We welcome the Xhosa Tribe.... The Ndamase Kingdom"

[Ululating]


No...no it can't be. I thoug- maybe they are not choosing a bride for Kamva's fiancée


"Our King father of the Prince will chose a suitable bride for the Prince"

[Ululating]


"And the Prince will take her rightful place"

[Ululating]


We started singing and dancing welcoming the Kingdom until I saw 'Umkhonto' next to me

[Ululating]


"The King has chosen the bride Siyabonga"


We started dancing and singing again but my mind wasn't there.... I didn't want to get Marriege I wanted to live my own dream... I still have many plans ahead of me... They can't fade because of Marriege

*

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Me:"I'm not getting married Mama I'm don't want to get married"


Ma:"Uyashada Wena Ngane Don't make me mad"


Kamva: (Sniffs) "I.... Mom please let her be she can't marry him"


Ma:"Who will stop me from getting her Married huh...? Who..?"


Kamva: (Sobbing)"Ngiyakcela mah ungamuvumeli"

(don't let her)


Ma:"Thula Wena Advocate you better forget about going to that University of yours awuyi eGoli"


Me: (Sobbing) "Please mom please"



 

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