Part 1 Failed Revenge : Blame my heart S2

INNOCENT Lot have happened in 3 years. Mom and Dad came to rescue us that kidnapping day. Things weren't easy for everyone after thatespecially me. Daisy and I don't talk much as we used to The tension between us all is too heavy. Nathan that day told me he impregnated Christina it was lot of shit. Christina lied to her parents and said The guy that impregnated her skipped the country. Little Avery (Christina and Nathan's son) is 3 years now . The family doesn't know anything about Christina and Nathan beside my Mother. I'm still surprised she kept it to herself. It one of those Fridays I'm out with Nathan. I now own a club in HR Nathan own a Restaurant Lauren owns a Salon. Thanks to our parents money well Daisy is still at school. After she failed multiple times because of stress and depression. _ Just like old timeswe decide to hit the club. My club. Girls looking hot in their short dresses . In a thought that it been 3 years without sex makes me laugh. Nathan:"I saw you looking at that girl" I sighed. me:"I thought I was interested in her but- Nathan:"It Candice right??" I brushed my face frustrated. me:"I can't move on I've tried" Nathan:"Try harder" I stood up went up straight to the girl i've been looking at. "Hy beautiful"she blushed. her:"Hy" I bit my Lower lip I can do this. me:"It the first time seeing you here" She bit her lower lip. her:"Uh-huh" I stared at her She's really beautiful but not my type of girl. me:"Nice seeing you" I turned around I could see disappointment in Nathan's face but No i can't. "I'm going home"I said passing Nathan. Nathan:"But- me:"Not now please!"He nodded. Nathan:"Anyway I had to take Avery for visit" me:"Christina's parents suspect nothing??" He shook his head. Nathan:"I'm just a uncle caring for her cousins Baby according to them" I laughed. me:"Crazy shit!" _ "I don't think I can do this"I sat back. Mr Thwala my therapist sighed. We've been doing this for a year Nowevery Monday's in 2 weeks a month . me:"I can't move on why can't everyone get this??" He wrote something down than looked up. Thwala:"You have to let it go you not only hurting yourself but your family intruded. It been 3 years and a half now. I know letting it go is harder than moving on but try not for you but your family" I chuckled His not getting me. "You move on not because you want tobut because you have to. You can’t live every single day being miserabledwelling on what ifs and taking the blame for yourself. No break-up is ever easy." argh. me:"This is not a break-up!! This is more than shit you saying right now" He took off his eyeglasses. Thwala:"First you deal with a pain so strong it consumes you. Your chest feels like it’s on fire— ragged and burning around the edges; after which an emptiness that finds its way even into the smallest and darkest corners of yourself. Even with a multitude of friends surrounding you no one seems to know the right thing to say simply because there is NO right thing to say. “Move on” and “you’ll find someone better” are among the most annoying pieces of advice you have to listen to time and again. It’s a painful realization because you’re still in that vulnerable stage where in the only person you ever want is the one who just walked away." Everything he was saying was nothing but the truth but that not it. I love that girl I want her. me:"It not easy" he nodded Thwala:"I know I was once in the same position. My Therapist advised me to remove all traces that reminded me of her. So there throw the notes the small stuffs she gave me. But at the end of the day i found myself battling with something you can’t easily discard – your memories together. No matter how hard you try i found myself battling with something you can’t easily discard – your memories together. No matter how hard you try you can’t throw it away. And the more you try to forget the more those moments sharpen in clarity and become almost palpable. You long for things you neglected in the past- gestures you didn’t appreciate. You strain to hear words of love you used to find mushy and sappy. But it’s behind you. Stop torturing yourself with regrets. Past is the only time you have no control over." me:"We had plans marriagekidsLove"A tear escaped from my eyes. Thwala:"Yes you’ve built your plans around her and when she left everything started to fall apart. The future suddenly became bleak and blurry. Before you had a clear image of yourself in ten years; now all you aim for is surviving every minute of every day.You have woven your lives together and after you have to untangle each thread. The pain will wash you like waves. But then again “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I chuckled mom said the samething. Thwala:"So stop running away from the pain. I know you still wake up with a gaping hole around your chest. Sometimes it feels like you’re stoking the last embers of the flame. But it’s normal." me:"This shit ain't normal never have I heard it before. My sister killing my girlfriend's sister my girlfriend kidnapping us. It was all like a movie a fictional movie" I was pretty annoyed. Why are people saying this is Normal this shit is far from being normal. Thwala:"You want a harsh truth?" I just stared at him. "You’re alone. You’re in this by yourself. Yes you have family and friends. But no matter how eloquently you define what you’re going through it’s lost on them. Why? Because it’s your heart your mind your feelings. It’s difficult to pass on the pain to someone just so you can be relieved of the burden of having to deal with it. It hurts? That’s good. It means you did love her truly. But stop wallowing in self-pity and anguish. It’s over done the end." This old man is fucking with me The end?! this is far from ending. I want my girl. me:"This is far from ending" Thwala:"Don’t think for one second she’ll come lapping at your feet just because she knows you’re drowning yourself in misery. Yes You both shared a love that was beyond anything you’ve ever experienced. And now you’re feeling a pain such that you have never known". me:"You keep on saying Loved I love her!!" Thwala:"You can’t JUST stop loving her but you ought to start loving yourself. Keep in mind what Frank Herbert said “There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.” His fucking with me I know no Frank Herbert....


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