I wake up in the morning wash my face brush my teeth and connect my phone to my Bluetooth speaker to play my morning jam from Spotify. I love music so almost every time when you come to my house you will find me listening to music. I make the bed open the curtains and windows while dancing to the music. I take out my outfit for the day from my walk in closet which is a floral umbrella skirt and red shirt with red hot lace-up pointed toe heels. I lay them nicely on my bed and go to the kitchen. I make my cup of coffee drink it and prepare for work.
After I am done with everything I head out the front door and I am met by my housekeeper Kgomotso. She usually sleeps out on Sundays. We exchange greetings and I head to the garage and drive out my silver grey Amarok double cab with a canopy to work. I am a big girl so I love big cars and I have lots of big cars. I arrive at work and park at my usual parking spot. I take my laptop bag handbag drawing storage tube which carries my sketches and get out of the car. I lock it and head inside the building. I am met by my forever smiling gay receptionist. His name is Lindani but he has convinced almost everyone to call him Lindsay.
Me: “morning Lindsay.” Ohh I also call him that.
Him: “morning Miss Jill Scott.” He always calls me that and he is forever smiling if he isn’t being dramatic.
Me: “how was your weekend?” he starts fanning himself oww boy here it comes.
Him: “girl it was lit. We were there with abo Somizi abo Stha girl I am telling you you missed out shame. Next time I am dragging you to the club. We can’t have you cooped up in that mansion of yours. You must get laid. Who knows maybe you have turned a virgin again.” I laugh so hard. There is never a dull moment with this one. But I think he is right about the virgin part. I don’t even remember the last time I got laid.
Me: “whatever bitch so where is Bobo?” Bobo if I am not mistaken is his boyfriend or fling I don’t know.
Him: “I dumped his broke ass for the weekend he was cock-blocking me Futhy and I couldn’t deal.”
Me: “you know what we will continue this chat some other time and maybe I will take you up on that club offer.” I walk to the elevator leaving him screaming my name. Lonwabo the CFO rushes to the elevator before it closes. He presses his floor and mine too. I do have my own private elevator which I only use when I am not in good mood angry sick or when there is an emergency.
Him: “how are you doing boss?”
Me: “life is good. How are you?”
Him: “I am over the moon. The Mrs. is pregnant.”
Me: “wow that’s awesome man. Congrats. Who knows maybe you might earn yourself a paternity leave if I am in good mood.” His face lights up.
Him: “really? You’d do that for me.”
Me: “I said I might now get to work.” I say as the elevator opens at his floor. He chuckles and steps out. It closes again and opens on my floor. Yeah you heard that I have my own floor. I don’t like noise when I am working I prefer my own space. Although I share it with my PA but it’s better than sharing with the employees. I enter my office and I find my breakfast and coffee on my desk. I love my PA so much. She gets me she understands me and she knows me in and out. I sit on my desk and start eating my breakfast. She gets in the door.
Zanele: “morning boss. How was your weekend?”
Me: “same old same old. How was yours?”
Me: “so what’s happening today?”
Her: “you are meeting Prince Kuhle Zulu.”
Me: “Thee Prince Kuhle Zulu? The future king of the Zulu Kingdom?”
Her: “yep that one.”
Me: “what does he want?”
Her: “for you to design his family home and a home he would stay at once he is crowned King. And for your team to put your vision into action.”
Me: “wow that’s great. It is such an honor. So when are we meeting him?”
Her: “in 30 minutes.”
Me: “okay. Set up the boardroom please. I don’t want his cologne intoxicating my office.” She laughs and then heads out.
I have never worked with royalty before so for me this is new and exciting. And the fact that I will be designing the future palace it is so awesome. My inner goddess is doing Thuso Phala. 30 minutes later Zah comes to my office saying he has arrived and he brought his wife along with a few guards. No offence but Princess Zulu is your typical trophy wife who looks like she has snobbish tendencies. I just hope she won’t have silly demands. I get to the boardroom with my tablet and sit down after exchanging greetings with them.
Me: “so Prince Zulu my PA tells me you want me to design 2 of your homes?”
Him: “yeah that’s basically it and please call me Kuhle.” He says with a smile. The wife rolls her eyes. Ohh how I wish Lindsay was also attending this meeting. He’d know how to deal with her. He sounds so polite for a future king I have no doubt the Zululand will be in good hands under his reign.
Me: “so Kuhle can you give me a clear view of what you want and where exactly will you be building these homes?” I ask with a friendly smile on my face.
Him: “well the first one will be at eMandlanzini just outside Richards Bay and the second one will be at Kwa Nongoma Enyokeni.”
Me: “so your vision on the first one? You want a dramatic Umhlanga mansion or your homely mansion?”
Him: “well I have live in the city for too long so I am to retire to eMandlanzini and have peace nje. I don’t want a dramatic triple story house. I want a hybrid house. A mansion but with a touch of the Zulu culture. You know those Ndebele homes with colorful designs outside?” I nod. “Yeah something like that but the Zulu culture. It must also have a rondavel but not your old fashioned rondavel a modern one.” The wife clears her throat.
Her: “can we discuss the rondavel issue honey? I am not disputing it but can we put on hold the maybe we can build it years later?”
Him: “who is paying for these houses?” Nya. Awkward. “Thought so. So MaCele do you see my vision?”
Me: “yes and I already have a picture of your house in mind.”
Him: “it must have about 10 bathrooms and a garage that can accommodate 8 cars.” Ohh wow so many cars. “yah I have many cars and I know they won’t fit in this garage so others will be transported to Nongoma.” He smirks and I nod and jot down a few notes. He is very charming I wouldn’t mind being his 2nd wife just kidding. “I need it to be a double story. I also want a basement man cave like but we will discuss all its features once the house has been built.”
Me: “and the second one?”
Him: “yes I want it to have a huge main house also with a touch of our culture. It must have about 20 bedrooms. 1 ancestors’ rondavel in the backyard and another one just for control. Also isibaya for the cows and also the goats. A fence that covers everything. I actually want an African castle after all I am to be King.” So many bedrooms this is a hotel not a house. I have never designed a castle before so this is a great challenge for me.
Wife: “what’s with you and rondavels honey? What happened to old fashioned flats or maybe 2 bedroom flats? Why are you loosing yourself babe?”
Him: “I have a meeting across town in an hour. I don’t have time for your whining. You said you wanted to be present to this meeting not to make your presence to be heard so please don’t waste my time and her time.” He says pointing at me. “So when can I get the sketches Nkosazana?”
Me: “next week Tuesday. Set up a lunch meeting with Zah.”
Him: “will do.”
Me: “What’s your budget?”
Him: “no budget.” Mmm abo 8 figures madoda.
Me: “okay I guess that concludes our meeting. If you feel like you have left out some details on your explaining feel free to contact me during the week to add also feel free to come and check on the progress. Please do send me the measurements of the sites where we would be building.”
Him: “will do.” I stand up and they also stand up.
Me: “I will be waiting for them.”
Kuhle: “I am trusting you ngekhaya lami. Your work speaks for itself. I hope after you’ve done with my houses then we can maybe in the near future work together.”
Me: “that would be awesome Kuhle. Nihambe kahle.” We shake hands and they leave. Zah and I head back to my office.
Zah: “damn Mr. K is tense. He puts his wife in her place. Phela that woman has no manners and has no respect for anyone. I am actually surprised that she is this obedient to his husband.”
Me: “how do you know her?”
Zah: “my sister works as their maid. She says all the Mrs. Does is just sit and drink champagne with her friends go to clubs. She does whatever she lives. She lives a life of a single woman and she is a terrible boss.”
Me: “well I am glad I won’t be working with her.”
Zah: “me and you both boss.” We both laugh.
She heads to her office and I start with today’s work. Noma my best-friend texts me telling me about lunch. I continue working and when lunch time approaches I take my handbag phone wallet and head out to meet her at McDonalds. I find her already there and I take a seat after exchanging greetings and hugs. She ordered before I arrived because she knows what I like. The waiter brings our food to the table. I wonder how much she paid to be served. She is a very punctual person. We met at varsity we did the same course but she also did LLB so she is an advocate Advocate Nomalanga Biyela.
Noma: “yoh Booty you will never believe what happened this weekend?” Did I mention that she is also a party freak? She also calls me ‘Booty’ because I have a big butt. She is very dramatic there are a very few moments where she doesn’t act like a gay on steroids.
Me: “let me guess you met your match?” she always go clubbing meet a guy fuck for a max of 4 days and she passes on. If the dick is good she can stay for 2 weeks. She hates commitment.
Noma: “how did you know?” we both laugh. “Anyways this one is the one. I can feel it in my bones.” I laugh because it is always the same thing with her.
Me: “how is his dick game?” she starts fanning herself and spreads her legs to fan her cookie. You see dramatic tendencies.
Noma: “11/10 Booty. Damn that guy broke my virginity all over again. It was like it’s the first time I am having sex. His machine yoh. The fact that his dick is so long so thick it fills me completes me and the fact that he knows how to use it. The ways he moves his waist Oh God I just had an orgasm just thinking about him. He ripped my nana apart bruh.” I laugh and she giggles. Damn she has really met her match. “Booty I am telling you he doesn’t even have that body that drives me crazy the muscles the abs. No he is just skinny but not too skinny. Eish I don’t know how to describe him anymore it would be best if you see him for yourself.” I choke in my shake.
Me: “say what now?!” she has never introduced her flings to me. Mainly because sometimes she doesn’t even remember their names and she knows it is not that serious. I am like a parent to her. To her my approval means a lot.
Noma: “anyways the thing is he is a waiter.”
Me: “so? Do you want a serious relationship with suitor number 147?” we both laugh of course she hasn’t slept with more than a hundred men but nje.
Noma: “I don’t know what a serious relationship is. I don’t know if I wanna end my stress-free life a guy I just met. Gosh I have never been conflicted like this before Booty what should I do?” why is she asking for a relationship advice from a single person?
Me: “you are asking the wrong person nana. Let’s go to Lindelwa she will know what to do.” Lindelwa is our friend who happens to be a therapist. We always ask for advice from her when we at crossroads.
Noma: “sounds like a plan.”
We get to our cars and head to her office. Luckily we find that her lunch hour will be over in 10 minutes so we will use this time to our advantage. We barge in her office and find her stuffing herself with pizza.
Noma: “uphangelani? Akekho ozokucela yoh. Speed kills Lee.” She wipes her mouth drinks her juice and sit back in her chair. We sit in the visitors’ chairs and stare at her.
Lee: “let me guess this ain’t a social visit?”
Me: “you don’t do those so why should we?”
Lee: “gees you won’t even comfort me with lies at least. Bribe me with 6-pack nyana ya Flying Fish. The kind of friends we keep.” We all laugh. We don’t do social visits at work because we are very busy people. We only barge in each other’s offices when we have emergencies.
Noma: “it’s a Monday bitch we might be drunkards but Mondays belong to God right?” what?
Lee: “dude Sundays belong to God. I don’t go to church but I do know that.”
Noma: “I must get my facts straight. I have just embarrassed myself. I am an embarrassment to the Jargon world.” We laugh at her.
Lee: “so what’s on?”
Me: “she thinks she is in love.” I say pointing at Noma with my eyes.
Lee: “same old same old.” She says rolling her eyes.
Noma: “no this time it’s different. I am serious it’s different. He is so good in bed and has a genuine heart. I even remember his name. He is Khanya Mlambo. But he is a waiter Tase.”
Lee: “what’s wrong about him being a waiter?” here it comes. Noma shrugs. “We are in the 21st century Tase where there are independent women everywhere. Although the norm is the man is ‘supposed’ to earn more than a woman in order to be respected but that is not it. Respect is not based on monetary things or iphakethe lomuntu. You choose to respect a person. Don’t suffer from the ‘abantu bazothini syndrome’ Tase. Ufundile wena for that bullshit (you’re educated). Other people’s useless opinions shouldn’t matter. Date your waiter be happy. I for one approve your relationship and I am happy that you finally found love. Love is a beautiful thing and it can be found in the rarest places. For example a pastor can find love in a drunkard. People may judge and talk all bullshit about them but if it is true love the pastor will stand up for their love. Nawe if you think it’s true love then screw everybody. It is about you and your happiness Tase.”
Me: “you see? I wasn’t gonna say half the shit she just mentioned.” We all laugh.
Noma: “I guess I know what to do now. I mean who cares if I have 7 figures on my personal account. I must go get my man.” We hype her. “I really have a good feeling about this. So help me God.” After chatting about other things we go back to our jobs.