It was early June and the exams were around the corner things between Sihle and I were great he was the best boyfriend ever yes we were officially dating he will drive to kwaHlabisa just to see me. another thing Zama did finally came around she would help me with the house chores sometimes we would study together and aunt on the other side was still the same annoying as ever and never stop ordering me around..As for my uncle he was hardly at home and that made aunt grumpy more I once caught her going through uncle's phone and I pretended like I saw nothing.. As they say "Your mind is a powerful thing when you fill it with positive thoughts your life will start to change" Ever since I prayed to God to carry my burdens for me I felt alive again never worry yourself about what people think of you People will always have their opinion on you despite who you are and what your capable of. Before I moved to KwaHlabisaI was admitted to the hospital after trying to commit suicide I used worry about people's opinions about me Nikita once said" People who hate you because of a mere jealousy over your success hurt themselves in disguise. This is because you carry an image of who they wish they had become. Don’t hate them back because they may also become like you one day and it will mean hurting that image you carry" In our days most of teenagers end up getting pregnant before finishing school others never do well at school and ended up quiting.. Be who you want to be and not care about what others think.. it was Wednesday and we were attending extra lessons the time was around 6pm and it was already dark I was walking with Zama her friends(Fatty and Mandy) and two guys that were our neighbour. Fatty:"Guys it's getting dark..mina ngiyasaba lana(I'm scared of this place )" Me:"Does this place have thieves? It's always quite here" Zama was just quite. Mandy:"There's quite about this place everything happens in the dark.." just when I was about reply a black car parked right in front of ustwo guys got out carrying guns I almost peed on myself..Zama held my hand tightly fatty was already crying. Guy1:"Well what do we have here? Lethani ama phone( give me your phones)" Guy2:"It my first time seeing this chick *referring to me* I wouldn't mind getting some" Me:"Lord please protect us" I said a short prayer.. Guy1:"This is no time for prayers" He pointed the gun at our guy "wena look that side " Guy2 came towards me and yanked my hand from Zama. Zama:"No no please take me at least.." Guy2:"Thula sfebe (shut up bitch ) " he slapped her across the face and Zama fell down I tried getting away from the guy's grip but he dragged me to the car I was kicking and screaming! Guy 1 was pointing the gun at others Guy2 pushed me inside the car and went in Guy1 ran towards the car and hopped in next to me and the driver speed off I could hear Zama screaming and begging but her screams faded away as the car drive faster than before. Me:"Please don't hurt me" I was crying hysterically and my cries seems to fell on deaf ears..the car entered the bush that when reality kicked in. Me:"No no please somebody help me!" I then felt a cold object on my stomach I closed my mouth as tears streamed down my cheeks the car stopped and they dragged me outside..another car was parked at the dark they pushed me inside that car and it speed off again with me inside and the guy that was pointing a gun at me.. "Don't be scared" a familiar voice said Oh No this can't be happening my uncle was the one driving the car We arrived at what seemed to be an abbandoned block of flats and the more I seemed to think about it... Murder and rape screamed out loudly Uncle: "get out the car and don't say a word got it?" I nodded dryly too overwhelmed by what was about to happen or what I thought was about to happen Uncle:"three strikes and your out kid that's the only rule" Uncle musa muttered as he dragged me roughly leaving an imprint off his wrist upon mine I remained silent only trembling. Uncle:"firstly you act like an idiot when you see very well that I love you" he shouted Uncle:"I want you to be a slut for me..." he whispered into my ear lingering seductively as if he was trying to get me to make the first move I was about to get raped and he wanted me to make the first move? I kicked him hard in the crotch and struggled to my feet. I ran at the fastest speed I could muster but it clearly wasnt enough as he soon caught up Uncle: "YOU WHORE!" he screamed slapping me forcefully across the cheek and dragged me back in locking the door. Uncle:"now were where we?" he smirked venomously pulling me towards him the scent of alcohol hit me like a ton of bricks Me:"P-please uncle don't" I squirmed underneath him Uncle:"I'm not your uncle dammit!you've been a bad girl a VERY bad girl" he whispered pulling at my shirt gliding his finger across my chest towards my back and towards my bra strap I struggled against his weight in a last attempt to free myself but I soon realised my attempt was futile. I screamed loudly earning a slap along the way that in uncle's opinion was clearly deserved. Soon enough Musa lay on top of me naked fumbling with my skirt zip whilst I lay in complete paralysation waiting as tears seemed to slide down my face like a waterfall. He kissed me sloppily in the mean time leaving trails of pure ale from my mouth to my bellybutton I felt the need to be sick as the man I despised entered me slowely waiting for the slightest slip-up in expressions as if I was suddenly going to like the feeling. He thrust into me harshly I sobbed silently as the person I thought was trusted entered the forbidden fruit he took my everything my heart was ripped out of me. He thrust at full speed making the old floors below grunt "uh-huh!" he shouted suddenly loving the feeling of me being around him Uncle:" enjoy it sweetie" he snarled seductively "or else..." he whispered frowning tracing a straight line across my throat - otherwise meaning 'or your dead' I knew what evil could come from him so I moaned falsely Uncle:"that's it baby girl!" he shouted in delight "your so sexy" he winked earning another fake moan in hope that he would finish sooner. He began to suckle at my breasts like a piglet I stayed rigid in my place surrounded by a mix of sweat tears and lust i muttered under bated breath as he pulled himself out of me leaving an ebbing torturous pain in it's place. Me:"y-you r-raped me" I whispered shaking violentely "I-m so... Sorry" he cryed pulling up his knees to his head and tryed to stroke my head comfortingly but I pulled away put my clothes back on and lay in the corner scared speachless death was better than to live.