I quickly put the magazine in the box and closed the closet. I sat on the bed wondering what to do. He came in. My facial expression showed panic
MJ- Are you okay?
Tlhogi- Yeah definitely. Why wouldn't I be?
MJ- You look like you've just seen a ghost
Tlhogi- A ghost? (laughs) That's funny
MJ- Okay maybe I'm overreacting
Tlhogi- For sure
MJ- Aren't you gonna watch TV with us?
Tlhogi- I've been studying for long I'm exhausted
MJ- Okay I won't disturb you. Good night
I faked a smile and he left the room. I deeply sighed. I put away my books and got under the covers. I couldn't sleep. An hour later while I was tossing and turning on sleeplessly on the bed he came in. He switched on the light and I pretended to be asleep. I didn't want him to know that I was awake coz I didn't wanna talk to him. I didn't wanna make him suspect anything. I didn't want him to know that I eavesdropped. The light went off and he got on the bed. I eventually fell asleep coz I woke up the next day at five. I made Fifi's bottle and bathed her. I decided to be the one making breakfast before they all woke up.
I set the table and Ma woke up first.
Ma- Hao Tlhogi you decided to be an early bed today
Tlhogi- Good morning Ma. Breakfast will be ready soon
Ma- I'm impressed
Tlhogi- You deserve a break. Besides I couldn't sleep so I had to
Ma- You're a true Makoti
Ma- Did I say something wrong?
Tlhogi- Umm no
Ma- You're a good girl. MJ shouldn't let you slip his fingers. He should just put a ring on that finger
Tlhogi- As in marry me?
Ma- Why not? Someone will take you if he's slow
Tlhogi- No one will take me Ma
Ma- I was just saying. Is that Fifi crying?
Tlhogi- I think so
Ma- Let me go check
So their mission is already in motion? What am I gonna do? I'm not even 20 yet. I can't commit myself to marriage at a young age. He'll have night expectations for me. He'll want me to do things that I can't do. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and I'm just not ready. I was swallowed by my imagination I didn't realise that I was burning the eggs. MJ came rushing in and pulled me back. He removed the pan and switched off the stove. The pan was literally burning
MJ- Tlhogi are you crazy? You wanna set this house alight?
Tlhogi- I'm sorry. I...I'll wash the pan
MJ- Forget about the pan. What's wrong with you?
Tlhogi- I don't know
MJ- Talk you be
Tlhogi- I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll clean up
MJ- I think you should sit down. I'll dish up
Tlhogi- Forgive me
MJ- It's okay
Ma- Where's the smoke coming from? What's happening?
MJ- Tlhogi burnt the eggs
Ma- But you were right there. How come?
Tlhogi- Forgive me
Ma. I'll scrub the pan
Ma- Are you okay?
Ma- If something is bothering you please tell us. That's what we're here for
Tlhogi- I know Ma
Ma- Take Fifi I'll dish up
I took Fifi and sat on the couch. I noticed that MJ was staring at me the whole time. I felt uncomfortable
Kagiso woke up and we had breakfast. His transport came and he went to school. MJ wasn't working today. I tried to avoid him all day by telling him that I was studying. I sat alone in the bedroom while holding a book pretending to be reading
MJ- Are you busy?
MJ- Are you okay?
Tlhogi- Yeah. I'm studying
MJ- I think you're just avoiding me coz that book is actually upside down
MJ- What's going on?
MJ- And don't even try to lie to me
Tlhogi- I'm scared
MJ- Scared of what?
Tlhogi- I don't know what the future holds
MJ- I'll tell you what the future holds. You gonna be a qualified Pathologist and...
Tlhogi- MJ right now I don't need prophecy. I need reality
MJ- You're worrying too much
Tlhogi- What if things don't go as I hope?
MJ- You don't have to worry. God has all the right plans
Tlhogi- I guess
MJ- Then you don't have to avoid me
Tlhogi- I'm sorry. It's just that I've been thinking about what has happened. I've been wondering who my parents are. If if have siblings or not. Stuff like that. It's really painful
MJ- I know
Tlhogi- You don't know how I feel You have a mother and a brother and your grandparents. You have your relatives. I only have Fifi
MJ- You have me
Tlhogi- You're not my blood
MJ- Can I get you a drink?
MJ- I'll give you some space. You should rest a bit
He kissed my cheek and left. I cried a little. Maybe I being a little bit overemotional. I calmed down. Ma came in my room. She sat next to me
Ma- Are you busy?
Tlhogi- Not at all
Ma- I can see that there's something bothering you. What is it?
Ma- You can tell me anything. I won't judge you
Tlhogi- I wasn't eavesdropping. I just happened to overhear your conversation with MJ.
Ma- Oh! Which one?
Tlhogi- The one he said that he wants to propose
Ma- Why is it bothering you?
Tlhogi- Ma I don't wanna seem ungrateful or anything. I love MJ with all my heart. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but I'm not sure if I'm ready for marriage. It has too many responsibilities
Ma- Don't you think you should talk to him about that?
Tlhogi- I don't want him to think that I'm ungrateful for what he's done for me
Ma- You know that communication is the factor to a successful relationship
Tlhogi- I know that
Ma- Then open up to him
Tlhogi- I'll try Ma. I'm just a bit scared
Ma- MJ isn't a lion. Don't be scared. Just talk to him. He'll understand if he really loves you
Tlhogi- Thanks for understanding
Ma- I'm here for you
Tlhogi- I appreciate that.
Ma- Now go to him. He's outside
I went to him outside. He was sitting on the chair under the tree
MJ- It's a beautiful day
MJ- Come sit on my lap
Tlhogi- I'll stand
I sat on his lap and his arms were around my waist
MJ- I hope you're not doing anything tonight coz I'm taking you out for dinner
MJ- There's a new restaurant that opened last week. I want us to check it out
Tlhogi- I'll be studying
MJ- When last did we go out and have some "fun" time
Tlhogi- It's been a while but...
MJ- That's why I'm not taking no for an answer
Tlhogi- Baby I can't
MJ- Of course you can
Tlhogi- I can't leave Fifi alone
MJ- I've spoken to my mom and she has agreed to babysit
MJ- I have a surprise for you
Tlhogi- Surprise? What is it?
MJ- It won't be a surprise if I told you
MJ- I love you and I want you to know that
Tlhogi- I love you too.
MJ- Tonight is gonna be an amazing night. I promise
I stood up from his lap. Was he gonna propose tonight?
Oh my Gosh this can't be happening