Chapter 74

“Your life only gets better when you get better.”- Brian Tracy


I was so stressed about leaving Hazel in the car all alone but I just wanted to be there for her at the same time I didn't want to have bad blood between her mother and I. I wanted to marry her and I needed to lay out a good foundation. I wasn't intending on supporting them forever just long enough until they got on their own two feet. The moment I walked into the hospital I found Sis'Bee right in the foyer waiting for me. She was so drunk one could smell the alcohol on her breath from a mile away.

Binah: “Bethuel you finally made it. Yoh gape these people were giving me a hard time with the account.”

Beast: “Hi Sis'Bee. You could have asked them to transfer her to kalafong immediately after the birth couldn't you?”

Binah: “Hao (goodness) but I just explained to you over the phone. You could have told me if you didn't want to.”

Beast: “Sis'Bee let's get one thing straight here before we proceed here for a minute. Sis'Bee I'm about to be your son-in-law not your husband and most certainly not Bella's husband. I am willing to help out here and there so that you can give Hazel peace of mind. I don't want you bothering her. She has enough on her plate as is. I'm giving you three months three months to get back on your feet find a job and I will only help out with groceries. That goes for Bella as well. I am not here to sustain your lifestyles I am here to build a home and family with Hazel.”

She was shocked but I think she insulted me in a more subtle manner so that I could pay the bill.

Binah: (annoyed) “Bathong (goodness) Bethuel. You could have just said you don't want to help. Now you're making me feel like a charity case you know.”

Beast: “It is up to you.”

Binah: “Fine. I hear you. I'll do as you say.”

I went to reception and paid the account. Of course they charged Bella R35000 for the birth and an extra R15000 for the hospital stay. I couldn't let them charge her for yet another day. I didn't have money to waste like that.

Binah: “So tell me why was Hazel in the hospital?”

Beast: “It is not my place to tell at least not right now. Can you please go get Bella ready for discharge?”

Binah: (shocked) “What? She needs to rest. She can't go home already.”

Beast: “Sis'Bee I am here to pay for the procedure and one day only. Bella has given birth if the doctors deem her unfit to go home she can be transferred to Kalafong.”

Binah: “You know what that bitch will do to me if my daughter is taken there.”

Beast: “How is it my problem?”

Binah: (angrily) “You see? This is why I keep saying you're no good for my daughter. You are just no good. You act rich but you are just a broke gangster.”

Beast: “Sis'Bee this is the reason why Hazel had a miscarriage to begin with! You are too toxic to even realize that you are no good to her.”

I realized I slipped when she looked at me shocked.

Binah: (shocked) “O reng (What did you just say)? Do you see? You see how you are no good for her? If it were someone else she wouldn't have lost her baby!”

Beast: “Don't act like you care about her now. Please don't do that. You have been nothing but toxic towards her ever since she was born. You're really starting to frustrate me so here's the deal. I'm leaving. Hazel has been through a lot and needs to sleep. Here's money for an Uber. You can order an Uber for once instead of drinking. If you don't check out by tonight you will be charged for an extra stay of which I am not going to pay for.”

Binah: (shouting) “I should have known you are just another asshole! You'll never be good enough for my daughter Bethuel! Never!”

I was so over her. I was hurting and depressed and heartbroken. She really pressed the wrong buttons. I couldn't cope with anything negative from her anymore. I gave her a few hundred bucks and walked out while she was cussing me out. I couldn't stand any of it any more. She was lucky enough I paid the hospital bill. I rushed to the car to find Hazel patiently waiting for me.

Beast: “Sorry I took so long. Are you alright?”

Hazel: (nodding) “Yes where are they? Aren't they discharged?”

Beast: “I paid and she started insulting me so I gave her money for an Uber and left her there.”

Hazel: “Okay let's go home.”

I was so relieved that she still called my house “home”. She didn't want any food so we just got to the house and she went straight to bed. The mood felt so foreign I don't know. I just felt like I didn't want to bother her but I also wanted to be close to her. She landed right on the bed and got into the sheets.

Beast: “May I come lie next to you?”

Hazel: (sigh) “I don't know if that's a good idea. I'd like to be alone for a while if that's okay with you.”

My heart broke but I just accepted it.

Beast: (teary) “Okay. I'll be in the lounge if you need me.”

She didn't even respond. My heart was aching beyond any comparable emotion. I had no idea what to do or say so I called Malume Sfiso.

Malume: “Bethuel kunjani mfana wami (how are you my boy)?”

Beast: (crying) “I could be better Malume.”

Malume: “Bethuel you need to be strong.”

Beast: “How Malume? She has lost our child and now she is pushing me away.”

Malume: “Work on getting her cleansed. Her maternal family needs to do it for her as soon as possible.”

Beast: “What about the lobola negotiations? How soon can we do it?”

Malume: “I don't know if she would agree but we already received a response from the Makwetla family. They want us to proceed on 8 September.”

Beast: “That's my birthday but it feels too far Malume. Can't you ask for a nearer date?”

Malume: “I can but we can't rush them you know. I'll ask and get back to you.”

Beast: “Thank you.”

Malume: “Bethuel don't forget to pray.”

Little did I know his words would mean something a whole lot deeper. I sat in the lounge and watched tv to keep my mind busy. I even resorted to staring at pictures Hazel and I had taken over the months. I rejoiced at how happy we were. She was my world and I needed her to remain that. I couldn't bear her facing that pain alone – without me by her side. I needed to trust in the Lord but as Malume said something big was coming my way and I needed to be prepared. So I needed to prepare for it and the only way for me to have done that was through Prayer.  

Four weeks later...


It had been a rather sombre few weeks. I had spent most of my time crying myself to sleep and pushing Beast away. I had no idea why I did that but I guess it was because the guilt was consuming me so much I didn't want him near me. Whenever he tried to touch me I refused. We hadn't slept in the same bed ever since I had come back from the miscarriage. I was too broken and by the time I felt ready to mend things it was rather too late. Beast had gotten himself so swamped with work that I hardly saw him. I was still on Holiday and had one more week left before returning to Stellenbosch. Beast had organized me someone from the Traffic department to get me a learner's licence and I had been busy with driving lessons daily ever since then. It was a little difficult at first but after a week I had gotten the hang of it. Nonetheless Beast and I still texted often just not as much as much as we used to. My mother had been calling and texting me but I had been ignoring her. Beast arranged a cleansing for me with my mother's family back in Polokwane and even so I expected it to be a little easier but it just wasn't that easy. I still relied on James my Uber driver for everything whenever Mathilda wasn't around. I finally moved in next door to Mathilda and we had been having the best time. I was spending a lot of time with her that either she would be sleeping over or it would be the other way around. School was seriously murdering us with new modules and a new Semester we really had to try and balance life. I hardly had the time to socialize I mean I basically had no one to socialize with when Kg and Otlile just decided to be angry at me for moving out. I had to do it and it turned out to be the best thing that had ever happened to me. Ever since my miscarriage I'd been having weird dreams – dreams that didn't even make sense yet Beast was nowhere to be found in the dreams. I'd been feeling so depressed so numb that I had slowly forgotten how to pray. I would pray whenever I tried but I hardly woke up in the middle of the night like Beast taught me to pray. It was so bad that spiritually I felt a bit disconnected from God – from everything and everyone. To make matters worse I had hardly been dreaming of Malachi despite the fact that Beverly gave birth to a beautiful baby boy Malachi's spitting image and named him Malachi Junior but we all called him MJ. She promised to make time to come to South Africa so that a ceremony would be done for the baby. Things seemed to be going well but there was such a big hollow part left in my heart. One Friday morning in July I didn't have classes. I was just relaxing in bed going through my Instagram and checking out the latest news when I received an unexpected call from Beast. The last time I had checked he was in Cape Town for some business I wasn't expecting him to finish so early.

Hazel: “Hey.”

Beast: (excitedly) “Mkami (my love). Are you awake?”

Hazel: “Not really I'm just lying in bed. What's up?”

Beast: (eagerly) “Can you come out please?”

Hazel: “Are you here already? Beast it's like 9am in the morning and you know how the weather is this side during winter.”

Beast: “Please.”

Hazel: “Have you lost your key?”

Beast: “I promise you you won't regret it. Please

come out.”

I sighed and I was a bit irritated. I mean he had his own key to my apartment - yet he chose to make me come out in a cold winter morning.

Hazel: “Alright.”

He sounded so eager to see me. Somehow the spark had slowly faded away and my heart didn't spark up whenever he spoke to me any more. It was concerning to me. I felt a bit lost in terms of our relationship. As I walked out I didn't find him outside my flat so I walked down the stairs and found him standing right outside a beautiful red Renault Sandero with a big red bow on it. He looked so happy to see me as if he wasn't feeling cold.

Hazel: (frowning) “Beast what's all this?”

He took out a pair of keys and waved them at me keenly.

Beast: “This is your car baby. Here are your keys.”

I was a bit shocked I mean he had done so much for me but to buy me a car that was a bit extreme.

Hazel: (shocked) “Beast no. I mean it must have cost you a fortune.”

Beast: “Well you wouldn't have taken a Mercedes from me so I had to opt for this. Come on get inside. Perhaps you might get a little bit more excited when you see the inside of it.”

I was a little bit excited – despite feeling so cold. I got into the driver's seat as instructed and immediately fell in love with the car. It smelled so beautiful so brand new. The gorgeous red and black leather seats made it feel so comfortable and the rest of the interior made me love it even more. I was so happy that for once he opted to be different than most men – well as he always did. He bought me something completely different to a VW as most people bought for their first cars.

Beast: “So do you like it?”

Hazel: “Like? Beast I think I think I'm about to fall in love with it.”

Beast: (chuckling) “As long as you don't love it more than me. Come on now let's take it for a spin.”

Hazel: (excitedly) “Okay. But what about the bow?”

Beast: “It will go off on its own. Come on my lady the car is dying to meet its new owner.”

I was actually so excited. I was even checking the kilometres and noticed that it had only been driven for less than 1000km which means he bought it and drove it to my place straight from the shop. While driving he was so happy that he played our song Ubuhle Bako by Ami Faku immediately I knew that those things took time. We would eventually fall back into each other's arms again.

Beast: “You're getting better at this driving thing. The next time we go back home you're driving.”

Hazel: “Yoh (oh)! I could never drive so long.”

Beast: “What do you take me for? I'd never let my wife drive for so long. You're too gorgeous to even lift a finger.”

We both laughed. It had been so long since we laughed like that. I thought we were going to take a short drive and drive back to my flat but of course Beast had other plans.

Beast: “Come take a turn here to the Beach.”

Hazel: (frowning) “In this weather Beast? There's no way I'm getting out.”

Beast: “I told you you really think I don't take you seriously. I love you way too much to make you suffer like that.”

He let me park right in the parking facing the Beach and asked me to leave the car idling. He quickly got out of the car and went to take a bunch of red roses with a picnic basket out of the boot. We adjusted our seats as he opened the basket for us.

Hazel: (smiling) “Beast you really didn't have to. I honestly don't know what to say.”

Beast: “Just say I love you too Beast.”

Hazel: (smiling) “Thank you baby. Really this is honestly the biggest gift I've ever received from anyone.”

Beast: “I did it because I love you Hazel. I know the past few weeks haven't been that great at all but I am willing to make things right if you let me.”

Hazel: (sigh) “I know but the truth is you're not to blame - “

Beast: “Please let me finish. I have blamed myself for the miscarriage so much that I just couldn't face you afterwards. I have been so ashamed to even face myself in the mirror Hazel but now I can see that the only thing that did was to drive you further away from me. All I want is for us to get back to the way we used to be. We are planning a future together and we should really try to fix whatever has been bothering us. I'd rather die than lose you Hazel.”

He was so teary-eyed which caused me to cry as well.

Hazel: “I'm so sorry Beast. I should have done better.”

Beast: (shaking head) “No you did nothing wrong. I promise you I'll never let what happened to you – to us happen again.”

We kissed briefly and hugged. We then dug into our food and slowly but surely we started speaking to one another like the usual couple again. Little did I know that our problems had only begun. Beast's past was about to haunt him – big time.

Beast: “I was even thinking that perhaps we should move the lobola negotiations to a nearer date. What do you think?”

Hazel: “I don't know as long as your family won't mind though. Which date did you have in mind?”

Beast: “I was thinking maybe mid-August?”

Hazel: “Okay that is not so far away. I can do with that. You can't wait to marry me can you?”

Beast: “Baby if I had it my way I'd elope with you and show you off to the world. That is how much I just cannot wait.”

Hazel: (smiling) “Well then we have two more weeks then we'll officially be Mr. and Mrs. Sibiya.”

Beast: “Hazel Hannah Sibiya I love the sound of that.”

The following day Beast drove us to my mother's house in Polokwane. He wanted me to get the blessings I needed for my car and just to ensure that the negotiations would go really well. We had a rather long drive but he didn't mind driving at all. Once we managed to stop by the mall he went into the nearest bottle store to get some drinks for my uncles and Aunt Hunadi while I went to the Mall toilet. I was a little pressed and I promised to meet him at the bottle store once I was done. He didn't like letting me go to the public restrooms alone as he said they were dangerous and that anything could happen to me but I didn't want him to hover over me like a crazy person. Once I was done I walked out and was stunned to have bumped into a man I had never seen before. He looked really young much younger than Beast. I guess I wasn't looking where I was going and we bumped into one another. My bag fell and a few things fell out in the process.

Hazel: “Oh I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going.”

Man: (smiling) “It's really okay I don't mind bumping into such a beautiful lady.”

I blushed a little and I managed to get a good look at him. He was young probably in his early 20's he was much darker than Beast tall as well but not very meaty. He was a bit thin but he had sex appeal needless to say and he smelled really nice. He looked neat and was dressed properly and draped in Versace.

Hazel: “Really I'm sorry.”

He extended his hand as I was about to leave him.

Man: (smiling) “I'm Brandon but they call me - “

Before he could finish his sentence Beast was right behind him.

Beast: (firmly) “Ghadaffi if you know what's good for you – you'd let go of my woman.”

I hadn't even realized that he had my hand in his. I quickly let go of his hand and looked down in shame. I felt so embarrassed.

Hazel: “Beast baby I... I accidentally bumped into him - “

Ghadaffi: (interrupting) “Oh so this must be Hazel? The Hazel everyone is raving about in Pheli? My goodness you're a lot more beautiful than they described you.”

Beast didn't seem to like him one bit and it seemed as if they knew one another on a more personal level.

Beast: (angrily) “I'm warning you Ghadaffi. This is my territory you know very well that Norah is your wife. Stop running after other people's women. You of all people should know what I do to little boys like you.”

Ghadaffi: “Hey man chill. I was just admiring. From what I know you're still a boyfriend. If I were him honey I'd have wifed you up a long time ago. You're too cute to be walking around with a ring that has no meaning. See you around Beast. My father says hi by the way.”

He took one more look at me angering Beast and he walked away. I hardly saw Beast getting really agitated by people but that Ghadaffi boy really seemed to get on his nerves. He wasn't the same after they met.

Hazel: “Who was that?”

Beast: “No one.”

Hazel: “Are you sure? You really look irritated.”

Beast: (snapping) “He's no one okay?!”

Hazel: “Okay.”

Beast: “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. He's just – someone I never want you to cross paths with ever again. He is the son of a man that I just don't want to do business with ever again.”

I just nodded as we walked back to the car. I didn't want to irritate him any more than he was. He noticed how quiet I was right after he snapped at me and he tried his best to get my mood back to normal. I truly didn't want to talk about him much but something was really off about that guy. I was yet to find out what he and Beast had in mind that ticked Beast off so much. The past has a very funny way of creeping up on people in most cases they say that your ways will follow you – even when you feel that you have repented at times. Most of the time you have to do time for the crime.

Isaiah 43:18 - ““Remember not the former things nor consider the things of old.”


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