it was less of a blessing

Am well known soulevery girl wishes to be mine.if I was that kind with player genes I would have slept with all of them because their game of throwing themselves at is quite strong.Am a son of a drug dealeryes my father is a drug dealer.but he has never set a foot in a jail cellI don't know how he does it but it's true.Our House is called "Kwa Steve emadrugzin" The police have been here more than 1000 timesI even grew up thinking they are family the way I saw them more often. This is a huge house very beautiful sadly my parents divorced when I was born so I grew up with my father I'd visit mom on weekends.Now am grown21 years.I get to go and see mommy whenever. My father doesn't think twice if he has to kill a person.if my little sister comes in crying he takes his gungrab her arm and walk to the carshe'll explain on the road what happened... .... Oh I've been bubbling even forgot to introduce myself.I am Yenziwe Nkosi 21years of age.Man am thee most boring person you could ever come acrossI love gadgets I think that is whyam always locked on my phone's screen or laptop there's no in between. My PhoneLaptopCo mputer and My Car are my everything I'd literally die without them.I am a DJhot dark DJ with hazel eyesbitches say. ........ "The house is on fire!!" says my little sis then closes the door sort of running away.I get off the bed quickly tootakes my laptop and my gym bag I run out with my phone in my hands. I get down.They just roll of laughter Dad: Princess you owe metold you even if you said there's earthquake his Laptop and gym bag would've made it to where we'd be escaping to Lizo: You'll never have a makoti here Me: Ah you guys suck Dad: You didn't even put pants Me: Pants are replaceable timer..I join them for breakfast ....... My dad my dad! We are one of the luckiest kids on earth.since he broke up with Lizo's mom I've never seen a woman hereshe was so good to me people couldn't believe I wasn't hers even now she's still mom.And from that day I got the audacity to be mad at my father and tell him how much of a jerk he is.He let a good woman walk out the door because he couldn't keep his zip closed and from there I was 14.I decided I wanted to be nothing like himI am far from being like him.I've only dated oncein high schoolshe got pregnant with another dude's kid so I had to stop this crap of datingit way too draining and not healthy for the loyal me.After we finish breakfast Dad's friends are already hereits Saturday plus so this house is going to be chaotic. I get ready to go I don't know where but I am not staying in this house with drunkards and drug addicts. Funny enough my dad doesn't perform any of thoto. Me: Am off Dad: Take your sister with you Me: No ways old man Lizo: Who are you to oppose dad? Wait for me...I just wish I could slap that smirk on her face away with a punch.She goes up and taking too long to come backshe's 16 by the way.Dad's friends keep on making noiseif I had a bateer way to explain how much I hate noise I would.finally after 15 minutes she comes down. With two bags packedmine and hers Me: And then? Lizo: You'll find me in the car Dad: I want y'all back on Monday Me: Who said anything about visiting? Dad: Me Me: And you didn't bother to ask me if I want to? Dad: I knew you'd say no Me: how cool.bye We fist bump and walk out.get in the car and I drive off.My Lil sis busy playing Ariana Grandetrust me when I say I don't listen to american music but I've even developed love for this Ariana lady because my sister plays her every time. ...... Mom: Wow I still can't believe you're herethis is a nice surprise Me: I know it was a surprise to me too....she hugs me one more timeI love my ladya lot. When I find someone to love I want her to be just like my Queen.I look at her smiling Mom: What ?...she smiles back Me: Am just realizing how honored I am to be your son Mom: Wowcome here...we hug..."You so tall hey" she proceeds Me: Its all dad...she clears her throatreminding me how much she's not pleased by that man being mentioned in her house Me: Am sorry...I actually have no idea what went down between the twowhatever it is it must be bigno one can hate you for 21 yearsI've asked dad so many times and all I get is "things were complicated back then" and I just surrender. Mom: I'll make us something to eat so long Me: No paste ok Mom: Its mutton dummy I don't do sandwiches at this time of the day Me: Thank you I'll be in my room ....... She calls me down a minutes later.Both my parents are got money mom's house is not so huge but stylish enoughat the burbs.She owns a construction company.She hates my dad so much that when I come to visitLizo drops me off cause she doesn't want the car that was bought with "illegal money" I have a car she bought me and I am not allowed to take it to my dad's house because her hard work can not go to an "illegal yard" its really complicated isn't... Yeah I know. ..... We eat then minutes later we are done and I wash the dishes. Me: Can I go outside and observe the place? Mom: Did you see a girl..? Me: Whoa hold your horsesI don't go around scanning for girls Mom: You know you can talk to me about everythingright? Me: I don't know where's this going Mom: I mean if you're.. Uhm not interested in gir- Me: No no no! Am definitely not gay momgeez! How could you even think of that. Jesus bye I plug my earpieaces and walk down the road.its a bloody quiet environment.I've been walking for 10 minutes straight but I ain't come across a single soul.I am skyping with Lizo telling her bout this place she's at her mom's place too. Me: Its creepy bra am even thinking of going back Lizo: *Laughing* since when do you just wander aroundis there a girl? Me: What's wrong with you people? I saw no girl and you know how I feel about girls Lizo: They bitches I know Me: Yes thank you..I am disturbed a group of ladies standing before me Me: uhm looklet's talk later Lizo: Wait I...I disconnect ...... Ok as much as I swore to my life to never ever look at a female the way I looked at Palesa but this woman coming right up...I think she's coming here to the group..oh yeah my guess is right.she's lightnot so short not so tallmid.She's chubby. "Helo?!!" Says the tall light skinned girl standing before me wearing a short.I snap out if my fantasy where am already kissing this girl on the backshe's busy on her phone.Probably texting her boyfriend . Me: Hey hey Her: Am bibo....As in the kid's drink ? Me: Yenziwe Bibo: You new here aren't you? Me: Yes Bibo: and you shy? Me: Yes Bibo: And you find this creepy? Me: Yes Bibo: And you sizzling hot..I choke on my Girl at the back my newly found crush: leave the poor guy alonelet's go Bibo: But we still wan.. I just walk past them my head spinning.trying to get the girl out of my mindI stop and slowly turn to look at them.she's wearing a legging and these military jacketsher hair tied up in a bun I'm the center of her head Ok wait why am I even talking about her she's a stranger and I will never see her again.I decide to turn back home.I find mom on the phone I pour juice and wait for her to finish up so I can tell her about the girl.she takes more than 30 minutes so I just decide to go take a nap for few minutes...I wake up only to find out I took a nap for few hoursits even dark outside.Was I dead or something? I worry as I fail dad. Dad: Prince Me: I saw a girl Dad: You see girls every fuckin day Me: This one is exceptional Dad: You hit on her? Me: Not yet Dad: Are you serious? Me: As a heart attackthis how it happened... I tell him bout her friends stopping me.and he laughs out hard Dad: They thought you were gay Me: Just stop okayI think am in love with her Dad: You don't even know her name Me: But I know that I love her..first love at first sight dad Dad: Okaykeep me updated Me: Bye ....... I walk down to find mom sipping on s huge glass of wine. Me: You need to have a man Mom: I have a man Me: Great! When am I meeting him? Mom: Look there.....pointing at the mirriorI stand up and look for for whatever I am looking for Mom: Directly to the mirror...I do Me: Me? Mom: Yes...I just laughhow much we love each other though. Me: I love you..but you deserve some happiness Mom: My happiness is standing right in front of me right now Me: No mom I mean- Mom: NoI want no grown ass man disturbing my quality time with my sonwanting to take me out on dates...well when she feels like eating out she calls me to come overat functions am always her dateI've always been since she got on this corporate world ...... It's been two weeks and I've gone to pops house for 2 days and came back to mom's. I pray day and night to cross paths with the girl but no luck. I never told mom since her phone call took years to end. I am sitting alone on the pool side its getting darkmom's car drove in followed by some carfinally she decides to bring her boyfriend home.I stand up and get inside.I have cooked I don't know how bad it tastes but am sure they won't sleep with empty stomachs.she gets in followed by this beautiful woman her age I thinkshe's hot and she's followed by.....uhm..cle ars throat and my eyes run all over the tiny placeat least what I see this big kitchen has become. I never really thought God is real until todaythe man is real and true to us.She's pulling a big luggage. Mom: Yenziwe!!! Me: mhhhh? Mom: Where yourself at? Me: here am sorry I was thinking about dad... She gives me the look of fuck off that only her can give.I smile Mom: Slindi this is my sonyou last saw him in 1999right? Slindi: You kidding me friend...she shows some excitement the crush is just standing there rather annoyed I can't really read her face... Mom: Wish I was.Yeye this is my childhood best friend Slindi I've told you about her..she's told me about thousands of her best friends but I don't keep their names in mind so I nod with a smile and we shake hands. Slindi: We don't have much time friend we gotta get going...whoa !! She's leaving me here alone..ohh waitare they leaving me with this Angel? Me: I'll with y'all out I'll suffocate of boredom Crush: You haven't even spoken to me and you already saying am boringmom I told you this was a bad idea. I didn't mind at all to stay behind at home alone Slindi: Be a good girl Mom: We are running late...make yourself feel at home Crush: Thanks ma ...... Its been two hoursthe suitcase is still on the kitchen floorwe haven't said a word to each other since the "moms" walked out.I went to watch TV and she followed me.This is getting extremely awkward but I have nothing to say to hershould I ask her name? Well she's in my houalland its her duty to introduce herself.she's busy laughing at the TV.I switch the channel she screams I settle for Keeping up with the Kardishians.oh bitches love this show so I switch it again and watch Indians.She takes out her IPhone 7 plus and I get jealous cause I still roll with 6 plus... Crush: Friend your crush...guess what we watching... Zee world..who watches these kind of things...yes come please and save me... She's talking about me like am not heream her friend's crush? Some war will come up cause by the time the mothere come back she will be my girlfriend. I just go to the ktchenttakes her suitcase up to the guests room and I go to my I wish I had a friendmy best friend died of cancer 8 months back and I don't want no friend now.I call dad and tell him that the girl is here.he tells me the wins I should pull on her and he's so thrilled about this... ..... One thing about time 'it goes faster' Crush which has turned out to be bae is Kairo Lopez..yeah I know she's colored.Slindile is her step mother but you won't tell.Only Lizo knows about this and she's so happy about's been 3 months now dating she's stubborn as hellshe irritates me sometimes. Lizo: Here's your R50 can I go out with my friends? Me: Want your father to kill me? Lizo: Not everyone enjoys being bored like you big bro Me: Where ever you go am coming with you Lizo: Am going to see my boyfriend Me: am coming with youget my jacket ..... I drop her off at the park and drive to mall.....I buy babe goodies and drive to her street she comes out in like 5 minuteswe kiss briefly Me: I missed you Kairo: And I missed my periods....Oh wait.don't panick Yenziwe just stay calm And breath Me: You what? Kairo: I missed my periods Me: And that means you...?....its even hard to say it Kairo: Pregnant..I don't know yet.I just did the tests Me: What do they say... She takes out her phone and texts someone then sighs very heavly and am shakingmy knees weak.its not that I won't afford the baby but am scared. I cross my fingers hoping she's not Kairo: Cleo is coming with them....I see her coming 3 houses away.I reverse to her.she greets me and look at Kairo then back at me.she shakes her head and there I know she's pregnant. Kairo: We going to be parents and its not up for discussion don't even dare open your mouth and say I should do abortion Me: I would never say that BabeI love you okay we in this together but I won't lie to you am scaredreally scared Kairo: I should move out before my dad finds out Me: Is he that strict? Cleo: You don't wanna know...owwm shit!get down....we do just so without asking. A knock on my window. I get up and wind it down. The man standing there isn't pleased at all. Him: What crap is this? Did he send you here ? Me: Who? Him: Wtf! Kay?Cleo? Kairo: We sorry dad...she said that opening the door and they get out of the car Him: Get lost...I start the engine scaredthis man isn't friendly at all.I drive off looking at the rear view mirrorI could see he's shouting at them. ..... I get home and explain to dad about the pregnant girlfriend he's not pleased Dad: I am not ready to be a grandpa you know..I want to meet her Me: I'll make it happen tomorrow. .... Kairo calls me crying I try to calm her down as possiblewhen she's cal. She starts speaking Kairo: Daddy doesn't want us to date Me: What?! Kairo: Yes Yenziwe.he's going to disown me if I go on with you Me: What are you saying exactly Kairo: I don't knowhe says I should get an abortion Me: Are you fuckin crazy? are Yoh really going to kill an innocent soul to satisfy your fatherif you do please don't ever call me Kairo: I won't...I need a place to stay for tonight ...... 00:34 am from fetching herI have told dad the whole story and he agreed.I find him waiting in the lounge for us.he looks at ushis expression changeshe calls me to the kitchen we go there Dad: What's her surname Me: Lopez...he hits the counter and he begins sweating I am puzzled Dad: How did I not see this coming Me: I don't follow Dad: you can't be with this girl Me: What?! Dad: You heard me! I want her out of my house right now! Me: dad you being ridiculous right nowshe's carrying my child for heaven's sake! Dad: I don't give a fuckit ain't a baby already she'll abort it and you will dump her. I can have the Lopez gene here in my houseyou hear me? Me: How could you be so cruel? I thought you'd support me through everything Dad: I willbut I will not support you on dating an enemy's daughter never my boy.when I get down I Wang her out of my house. ...... Its been 4 months nowwe live on our apartment not so big yet not so small she's 4 months pregnant now.As good as this love is but you could feel the guilt of being together against our parents permission. I've tried so hard to get dad to tell me what is going onwhat is it they hate each other for. Kairo: Babe am leaving the car behind today Me: Why? Kairo: My feet are swollen I'll catch a taxi right now and you'll fetch me later...she's studying at PU. Me: Ok fine with me Kairo: We love you okay..never forget that Me: I love you both a lot...we kiss and I kiss her Lil bump.Lizo comes to visit us is looking out for us tooshe's been angry that I got her best friend's kid pregnant and Slindi took a fall for it.her marriage is suffering because of it but now seems like she's softening up and am thrilled. ..... I walk around the mall buying baby clothes. Sabelo my neighbor calls me asking me to borrow him my car he's going to take this girl out so his car isn't her taste. I laugh and tell him he'll find me at the mall. He comes and takes itI look at the time.its 14:30 time to fetch babe.on my way there I get a call from Cleo. Me: Sister Cleo: Please rush to schoolsomeone explained as Kairo is in danger at school...I just speed theremy phone keeps on ringing unknown calls.I see a group of peoplepolice and an ambulance that arrives as I stop and runs to the crowd.. I see her bag on the floor I scan around the people hear I can't find herthere's a body covered in a blanket the shoe is showing and its hers "We can't reach the last number she called and she didn't make it the bullet went straight to her heart.. Yes sir she was pregnant" I eaves drop on a police who's standing not so far from the crowd.I went down on my knees and screamed the loudest I couldeveryone looked at me I wanted whoever did it to come and do the same to me.... ...... Hours later at the hospital not knowing what am I doing my heart I had it that she will wake up.though I have seen herI couldn't recognize her face who's this cruel.a text came in as mom rushed in with Slindi.."The owner of this phone has been shot dead please rush to the scene at..." From Sabelo's phonethat should've been me .mom and Slindi hugged me so tight as I let it all out ........ I arrived at my flat from where Sabelo was shot.the bullet holes on my car were terrifying.I mixed paraffin and petrol.took every Pill that we have on this house.I downed them all and ran a tab full of water.I got in and waited for the poison to kick in..the death of the love of my life and my unborn baby was just too much to take in

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