Author: Kuhle Manqele

Confusion of a woman

part 9 Confession of a woman

Bang! Bang! Bang! "Pamela!"...Bang! Bang! Bang! "Pam!". I furiously got off the bed and stormed to the doorunlocked and opened Me: What?! Phili: What truck hit you?oh my you look awful She said as she pushed me aside and getting in.she sat on the bed and I rolled my eyes then closed the door.I went to stand in front of her folding my arms Me: What do you want? Phili: A favor Me: ??? Phili: My boyfriend is taking me out today and I need you to come with me to mall and choose a dress Me: How long y'all been dating? Phili: 6 months...please don't tell I don't have to impress him Me: You don't have to impress him...I chuckled and sat next to her. Me: Lil sis look nehyou don't have to try so hard for a man okayyou got a lot of beautiful dresses on your wardrobe. You don't have to buy a new one Phili: He thinks am a cheese girl Me: Then that ain't lovelove is when someone loves you for who you are.on second thought let's go to salon and fix your hair. Phili: But you said I shouldn't try so hard Me: Exactly....I didn't say be ugly and messy We laughed and we went to bath together.after everything we went to the kitchen Me: Morning family Dad: Morning sleepy headI thought you'd change by now Me: No dad my body knows when its not a work day. Mom: Y'all going somewhere? Phili: Yepsalon Dad: The one down the road? Me: Nope...*takes an apple* Pavilion Parents: What?! Me: Chill...text me what you need. Love you We got out before they could even say anything.we got in the car and drove off.we're Beyonce's huge fans so we were playing am Sasha Fierce all the way singing along to every song .Just there I realized how much I have missed my Lil munch kin. My phone rang disturbing our Scared of Lonely.oh Abby Me: Yes Abby: Hey babe Me: How are you Abby: Am good and you Hun Me: Am breathing *sighed* so yeah am living Abby: Your house 7pm I got something to tell you Me: Can't wait Somehow I felt that he has changed his mind. Me: See you then Abby: Love you Me: I do too I hung up before he complains about that. Phili: And then? Me: And then what? Phili: That smile? Me: Really? I didn't notice Phili: now out with it Me: I asked for...my phone rang again disturbing me.oh Tumi Me: Tumi Tumi: Been waiting for your visit Me: Ow really.? Tumi: Yes! I miss suc- Me: Stop! Just stop am with a kid here Phili: are you kidding me..you miss sucking on her nipples? Me: hhay wena...I'll call you okay Tumi: Let me act like I believe youbye then Me: Bye I exhaled heavily! Phili looked at me with questioning eyes Me: Not now okay . . Coming back from pavilion we were so freakin tired from buying the whole of Checkers.the list mom sent .I just got exhausted by just looking at it.. Arriving home we offloaded the groceries and I just went to my room and threw myself on the bed.the door opened I was even lazy to turn and look at who it was. "Hey beautiful"...I battled in my mind trying to recalls the voice but hey I just couldn't.I slowly Turned.. Ah! My freakin Ex Why does my life have to be this complicated! Me: Lwazi? Lwazi: Pam Me: What you doing here? Lwazi: your father saw me and told me I should come by here ukhona so I didn't want to disappoint him Me: now you've seen me..bye I pulled a blanket and faced the other way Lwazi: You still thesleepy pig? Me: Don't be forward tu..I've had a long day Lwazi: I'll be in the living room playing PS with your dad Lwazi and I went to church together as kids.his family and mine are very close so they've always known we friends too kanti nah we more than that.so father loved the guy from there. . .I was woken up by my noisy cellphone.I checked the caller IDAbbyI checked the time.7:30.Yooh! He's gonna change his mind dear lord. I rushed out to my car it was not there I went back in Me: Mom where's my car?!! Dad: Didn't you borrow Spho? Me: What?! Oh daddy please borrow me yours Lwazi: You can take mine Me: The keys! He threw them I ran out.it was parked on the gate.I drove off on high speed.Mhlanga turned out to be the most far away place.a text came through."am goneI checked the time.7:30.Yooh! He's gonna change his mind dear lord. I rushed out to my car it was not there I went back in Me: Mom where's my car?!! Dad: Didn't you borrow Spho? Me: What?! Oh daddy please borrow me yours Lwazi: You can take mine Me: The keys! He threw them I ran out.it was parked on the gate.I drove off on high speed.Mhlanga turned out to be the most far away place.a text came through."am goneyou should've said you didn't want to" I just drove to Pine Town.I got there at 9pm.all the way I kept on making up an apology.I got there and went in.I found him watching TV Me: Hey Abby:..... Me: I was so tired from shopping and I overslept Abby:.... Me: What did you want to talk about? Abby: It doesn't matter now Me: Am sorry Abulele Abby: that's all you know..am sorry am sorry.you just shouldn't have just came Me: What's wrong with you ?! Abby: What are you going to do with a baby?! He stood up and came to stand before mehis eyes bold scaring me as hell Me: Cause I..I.. Abby: I..I.." Do you know how much of hard work a baby is? Me: Calm downyou made your point that day I heard you. Abby: You never think Pamela NkosiIf you wanted to be smart the same way you want Sex you'd be a genius. I blinked a view times trying to believe that he has just said that. Abby: You're a sij walking Pam you don't want to change your life instead you want to sin more.Many women would kill to have a man like mea man that doesn't wanna play themthat wanna marry them.so many women would kill to have your spot Me: Why don't you it to them?this is all unnecessary Abby! Youbtold me I was crazy there was no need for this crazy meeting.I am crazy I get that.you have no right to insult me Abuleleno matter how much you take me for granted but no one is allowed to say all the crap you've been saying.I wanted a baby because loneliness was killing meyou said no I put the case into rest.why raise it now I was crying now even losing my breath Abby: Say what you say but please get this to your thick skull..I don't want a baby! I will never have sex or have a baby before marriage! For the last time am telling you this and for the last time we having this conversation I was so fed up of this man's childishness like really fed up...I hate marriage too so Me: You're right.its the last time of everything cause am done with you I head to the door he ran after me.I got in the car pulling out of his grip. I drove to my house in tears.This was too much to take in

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