He was now cuddling me kissing me on the side of my head. Tears are streaming down my face rapidly so and he looks very pleased with himself. I was a reluctant participant the whole time. He did the most despicable things to me and I felt so dirty.
Nkazimulo: Don't worry. I will buy you everthing you'll need for varsity life. What do you need? I silently swallow my lumpy throat sniffing lightly.
Nkazimulo: Ungakhali I understand it's your first time. He reaches out for his phone and checks the time.
Nkazimulo: Go and bathe so I can take you home.
Shamefully I get out of bed and this man is feasting his eyes on me. I can't even ask him to give me privacy. I slowly pick up my clothes from the ground and head to the bathroom. .
My vagina is burning and so painful. . .
[NKAZIMULO] While she is bathing I take a quick shower too. When we both finish. I dress up and my phone rings on the night stand.
Duduzile: Babe I'll be spending the night at my parents house. Nkazimulo: Oh okay.
Duduzile: I'm sorry I know maybe you wanted to spend time with us.
Nkazimulo: No it's fine.
Duduzile: And I kind of need money...
Nkazimulo: Money for what? Duduzile: Money for groceries here at the house. I sigh. Nkazimulo: Yaz Dudu you know very well we're struggling financially.
Ncebsi walks in already dressed and ready.
Duduzile: I know honey just a thousand rand will be alright. Nkazimulo: Fine.
Duduzile: Thanks baby. I love you. Nkazimulo: I love you too. We end the call.
Nkazimulo: Are you ready to go? Ncebsi: I'm going to sophiatown Nkazimulo: Hm?
Ncebsi: I have to go to campus. Nkazimulo: Awuyi ku gogo?
She keeps quiet and looks down fiddling with her fingers innocently.
Nkazimulo: uGogo yena? Ncebsi: I see her every weekend my grandmother is taken care of by my neighbor.
Nkazimulo: Oh okay. Let's go.
I grab my car keys and we head out. As I'm driving I keep stealing glances at this young girl. She's looking out the widow. I can tell she's preoccupied by what has happened.
She remains still.
She looks at me uncomfortably
Nkazimulo: Can this remain between us?
She nods expectantly.
Nkazimulo: You know that wasn't an malicious intention. It's just that... I love you.
She looks at me in disbelief.
Nkazimulo: I really love you.
She turns to look at the window dismissively.
Nkazimulo: So can we agree that this will stay between us?
We're silent for a while.
She hisses . . .
It's a Monday morning. My sister Helen is the one taking care of me at my house. I couldn't drive to Pretoria my leg joints have been locked. I can't go anywhere or do anything.
I'm literally paralyzed. Im uncertain whether God is punishing me or trying to tell me something.
Elijah: Helen! I hear her footprints approach and she stand at the door crossing her hands.
Helen: Don't tell me you wanna go to the bathroom.
I chuckle. She is looking at me amusingly.
Helen: Hai yabona ngyamsaba lo God. So vele you're crippled?
I groan and she bursts into a sweet laugh.
Elijah: I'm so over this.
Helen: Shame. What can I do for you?
Elijah: I need some comfort food.
Helen: I think it's time you get yourself a wife. You've been single for a long time. “Oh please are you gonna help me or something?” I toss the blankets aside and she approaches me. When she touches me she gets shocked.
I was vibrating too. What's going on with me?!
Helen: Don't you touch me! Elijah: Askies.
Helen: Hai Elijah stay in the blankets angeke yoh.
She walks away and comes back with food in a tray.
Iwant to try and talk to her but my tongue just got paralyzed.
Helen: Hm? I can't say anything.
I can't talk.
And Helen won't understand me nor will she understand why I can't talk.
I can't really explain anything. I'm mute.
I take my phone and type: "I can't talk." She looks at me with total confusion.
I shrug in defeat. This punishment or whatever it is is just extreme. . .
[TABITHA] I am writing corrections on the board and it's quite a draining process. I have the next class in 30 minutes and this is my free period. For a moment my left hand becomes crampy. I wince as the book and chalk escape my hands. A learner enters and greets picking up the book on the floor.
Him: You dropped this ma'am.
Tabitha: Uhm thank you.
He hands the book and a quake slowly approaches my left hand.
I shake off the feeling.
What eccentric behavior is this? The kid looks at me confusingly.
I head to my seat and sit gripping this other hand tightly.
Tabitha: What can I do for you?
Him: Mrs Cameron was asking for extra past papers for grade 12 English if you have any.
Tabitha: Look in that box there.
He walks to the box and takes a few papers. “Thank you.”
I smile and reach out for my phone. Unexpectedly I get a text from Elijah saying: "I need you T." What does he need me for?
This is just strange.
A minute later he's now calling me....