I have to leave later on and I'm so comfortable in Elijah's arms. He's so comforting and understanding but I just wish he would say something. Though listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat I can tell the delicate nature of his sensual explicit tongue. Dragged minutes seem like seconds and I can't seem to let go of him. I break the warm embrace wiping my tears.
Tabitha: I need the bathroom I'll be back.
He nods pointing at the convenient access to his right.
I walk in there and close the door.
I'm not sure whether I should urinate or I should just wash off the already ruined foundation on my face. I realise I didn't bring my bag with me.
Great! I walk right back and I have to brief him that I need my cosmetic products. When I walk right back I wash my face completely and apply some lemon face cream then make my way out.
Tabitha: Do you need anything? "Yes. Please come and cuddle with me."
I giggle. That is just ridiculously random.
Tabitha: You're crazy. So you want to cuddle?
He smiles slightly with pleading eyes. I nod and take off my shoes.
I lay next to him and he wraps his arms around me. We loaf in complete silence and I clear my throat in discomfort.
Tabitha: Thank you for being there for me when I need you. I've buried alot of things some of those things I really didn't want to talk about. But you disentangled me from the confusion. I thank God for you. I can feel him release a deep sigh.
“I know you think maybe I don't really like being with you... Like yesterday. I was uncomfortable by the things that Celia said to me I was uncomfortable in the environment and I just didn't want to give people the wrong impression. I'm sorry I acted the way I did.”
He nods and I keep quiet.
I'm not really sure if utterance is a way forward but I escort my head on his lap and let him stroke my hair.
When I wake up he is asleep. I yawn lightly and sneak out of bed only because I do not want to disturb him. And my body is doing the most right now it aches everywhere.
Gosh I stretch and the bones creak. Slowly I take my things and walk out. Helen is sitting on the double couch facing the TV and stuffing her face.
Tabitha: Helen I have to go now. Helen: Oh okay. Goodbye Tabitha thanks for coming.
I nod with a fake smile across my face.
Helen: You don't have to be shy I'm okay with you being my brother's girlfriend.
She's forward so I keep my cool and show myself out. I'd like to explain myself but I wouldn't to waste my breath on her. . .
Nkazimulo asked to see me earlier on so I'm currently walking with my friend in campus square and we decide on some sticky wings at Debonairs.
Amanda: Kade uthulile Ncebsi uryt?
I nod dismissively and my phone rings. It's MaTwala the neighbor who is looking after my grandmother.
Ncebsi: MamTwala? MaTwala: Hai cha Ncebsi I waited for you yesterday and you didn't pitch.
Ncebsi: I'm sorry I had to make it back on campus in time.
MaTwala: Why didn't you call me?
Ncebsi: Ng'ya xolisa
MaTwala: Akusenani impela.(t doesn't matter anyway) Gogo is very ill Ncebsi please do try and make it during the week. It's serious and we have to take her to hospital.
I nod knowingly tears are at the brim of falling. My grandmother's life is unfairly short it always keeps me on my toes.
Amanda is gazing at me with eyes dissolved in concern and sympathy as I bid farewell and end the call.
Amanda: Is it Gogo?
I nod and wipe my fallen tears.
Ncebsi: Isimo sakhe sintengetenge kakhulu. (Her condition is bad and unstable)
Amanda: Shame I'm so sorry my friend.
Ncebsi: I'll be fine. I mean what do I expect? She has cancer.
She swallows the lump that lodged itself in her throat. I blink twice and get up from the chair to wait for our order to be called. . .
Waking up I couldn't yell now that my sister must come and help me. I had to call her when she see's it's me she'll come attend to me. Indeed she walks in and stands by the door crossing her arms.
Helen: Elijah Khethokuhle.
I frown and she's laughing at me as she walks closer.
Helen: How can I assist you? I point to the door of my bathroom and she just shakes her head.
Helen: How am I supposed to carry you?
My heart breaks. I can't even take a shower now?
Helen: I'm sorry let's try and see.
She tosses the blankets aside and holds my waist firmly. I hold on to her and she orders me to get on her back.
Seems impossible I can't even move my legs. My sister is trying I can see that but I can see she's giving up on me. She let's go and sits next to my perch.
Her amusement bubble bursts when it dawns to her that I'm really crippled.
Helen: Yoh! I tried mntana kithi. But I can get a basin and help you.
I shake my head.
Helen: How long is this gonna go on? Kanti what's going on here? Tears form her eyes and she starts crying.
Now I have to comfort her. It's very hard and I completely understand.
Helen: Is it mom and dad punishing us? Why? Why do bad things always have to fall upon us?
She sobs and I comfort her in my arms. I hate it when she always goes back in time of what happened to us in our lives. And when our parents died then my daughter to my divorce with her own baggage aswell. It's memories I'd like to erase forever.
Helen: I'm so sorry but we'll be okay. We have always survived and we'll survive this too don't worry...
Her sob is slowly breaking my heart too.
When her phone rings in her pocket she takes it out and her husband's name flashes the screen. She looks at me.
I nod my head with ease and she answers the phone. The husband is audible and I can tell she's getting yelled at. They start fighting over the phone and I know now she'll have to leave.
Helen: Should I call someone for you? Tabitha maybe? I shake my head. She was here before I can't have her driving all the way here again.
I take my tablet. "Give me everything I need before you leave."
I can tell she's feeling bad but she can't disobey her husband anyway. . .
I just wanted to bathe and sleep again but the bathing salts kind of refreshed my wilt aching body. I wanted to call if Elijah is okay because I was seriously worried about him. My concern pokes me uncomfortably to dial Zimu I really want to know if he is aware.
Tabitha: Something is really bothering me I wanted to know if maybe you're aware that Elijah can't walk.
Zimu: Yes I am.
Tabitha: Oh. I went to see him earlier on.
He keeps quiet.
Tabitha: It's intense.
Zimu: I'm actually on the way to Polokwane our bishop is preaching.
I nod understandingly.
Zimu: But we plan on coming over to see him after the conference there's a serious spiritual war. The devil will even do anything to kill him right now.
I sigh heavily.
Zimu: But don't worry. He's covered. That's the reason he has a spiritual father. He'll be okay.
Tabitha: Okay thank you Zimu. Enjoy the conference. Zimu: Thank you prophetess. Don't worry too much.
I end the call and rummage through my wardrobe for some comfortable clothes. It's really frustrating. I wish I could do something....